Sex Dungeon For Sale!

New Bizarro Author Series

by Patrick Wensink

Combine an optimistic realtor selling a home with a sexual playground, a kindergartener convinced he's actually French and something called, "Chicken Soup for the Kidnapper's Soul," and you get Patrick Wensink's hilarious collection of short stories. Sex Dungeon for Sale! Takes these bold characters and a few other outrageous situations to create an unforgettable and quick literary ride.

While keeping an eye focused on the surreal, but both feet firmly planted in reality, these stories dissect a modern world so strange you have to laugh. Wensink's punchy style is perfect for the brevity-obsessed Twitter generation, but saves room in his utility belt of brief tales for humor, humanity and an extra helping of WTF?.

About the New Bizarro Author Series:

With the current state of the publishing industry, it is hard for new voices to be heard. We wanted to do something about this. The New Bizarro Author Series is designed to showcase first books by unknown writers of the weird at a low price. By publishing these books on a smaller budget, we're able to take more risks and publish more writers who might not otherwise be given a chance. Created by authors Kevin L. Donihe and Carlton Mellick III, and published by Eraserhead Press. Try out one of these new talents to take a glimpse at the bizarro writers of the future.

Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Fiction, Short Stories, Sexuality

106 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Patrick Wensink was born in Deshler, OH in 1979. Since that time he has done a lot of things he is not proud of. But he's also done some pretty interesting stuff. Over the years he has bottled and sold his own line of Wentastic BBQ Sauce, got married in a doughnut shop and even found the time to author a few greeting cards.

The Louisville Courier-Journal called Sex Dungeon for Sale!, "A deliciously dark and funny book," which probably made his mom very happy.

Reviews

[karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sex dungeon sold!

Wanna hear a boring story? No? TFB!

I like to make displays at work. It's what I do. And they are usually for small presses, or books with arresting covers, or just shit that is going to get lost on the shelves otherwise, but if "they" see it, "they" will buy it. It is not hard to sell books, as long as you have an angle. Mine is to cater to the impulse buyer through their WTF bones.

Holloway House was an amazing publisher putting out early urban fiction in the sixties and seventies. Pimps, guns, drugs, hookers... just awesome books with covers like this:



and this: [image error]

and this:

And all priced from the past, at $2.95 to $5.95. And I got a ton of them in to the store; throughout the years I have cleaned out the warehouse, and now we can get no more. And I put up the Holloway display because it is good to display books that are $3.95 and have titles like "Deadwood Dick" and "Ain't Got Time To Die" and "Pimp City". It's a no brainer - they are cheap, they are hilarious, and they make for an impressive display when viewed all together.

But I would never read any of them.

They are just for amusement's sake. And in fact I wish I had bought more of them for myself, because now they are completely ungettable, except for the sad handful we have left on the display. The best ones are gone forever, and there is somehow no record of the covers on the entire Internet.

Imagine what this one looks like: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50...

and this: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/67...

and this: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32...

Sucks, right?
(Actually it doesn't, because now there are pictures for them, so you can see how awesome they truly are, but I don't feel like altering this entire review to reflect the excitement of their appearance on Goodreads.com)

But so in sorrow over the death of Holloway House, I decided to put up an Eraserhead Press display. Still cheap, still outside of the James Patterson reader's radar, and they also make for an arresting display, just with more amputations and blood and fetuses.

But I would never read them.
They are just for amusement's sake.

But then this author contacted me on Goodreads.com and I had to confess that I had his book on the endcap, and then he sent me fun coloring books and a duckie rape whistle, and I felt like I had to read it, with some trepidation.

I always thought that the bizarro stuff was seriously transgressive, judging by the covers (hold your admonishments, please) and the titles. And I loathe the transgressive in fiction. It just bores the shit out of me. Part of it is the serious emotional disconnect I experience when I read - I do not fully engage as a reader, I am always aware of the process of reading. It is why I rarely cry and am never scared by reading. And it mostly sucks - I would love to cry and scream and be as emotionally invested as I am in my own life. But alas. So but the point is that the transgressive shit bored me because I am not shocked by it, so the whole intention is undermined.Even high lit transgressive shit like Bataille and de Sade - they put what into whose what? Oh, okay, another day at the office, maybe keep some antibiotics on hand. Shit, I thought de Sade was boring when I was in high school, when everything was sexually exciting, especially whatever fell outside the norm (not that I have ever had sex, because I am a virgin - hi dad!!)

Is there a point?? No?? Yes!

So the point is, I ended up liking the book. End of review.


Hahah no but it's good stuff. Mostly absurd; if you like Barry Yourgrau and Marc Leyner you will probably dig it, if you aren't a snooty reader of George Saunders, you will like it as well. They are short, they are funny, (although the first part of the James Brown-auction story was crushingly sad, even to me), and if he sells enough books, he gets to write another one. And he's a nice guy with a family to feed and terrible penmanship. I mean, come on, take a ten dollar chance.


(twss)

[Lance · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eraseread Press has recently decided to give some unheard-of authors a chance with the New Bizarro Author Series. One of the new Eraserhead authors is Patrick Wensink. Sex Dungeon for Sale is Wensink’s contribution to the series. As is fairly typical with the Bizarro publishers, Sex Dungeon is a collection of short stories. Wensink’s stories were absurd, surreal, and funny. I like the Bizarro movement and appreciate the DIY/independent attitude of the publishers and authors. Nevertheless, there are times that some of the Bizarro stuff gets a little bit tiresome for me, such as when the stories just become an exercise in demonstrating how bizarre the writer can get. Mr. Wensink’s writing is definitely beyond the “look how crazy I am” stage. I found myself enjoying the stories and liking the characters in Sex Dungeon. Even within the limitations of the short story/flash fiction format, Wensink’s ability shines through. I felt like many of the stories in Sex Dungeon could have been developed into something longer. But, I recognize that the author was working within the limitations of a collection of short stories. On the other hand, some of the shorts were great just the way they were (see, Chicken Soup for the Kidnapper’s Soul). I think it’s very cool that Eraserhead is taking a shot with some new talent. Apparently, Eraserhead is waiting to see how the new authors are received before deciding to publish anything else from them. Wensink is a new talent that should be given the opportunity to develop his writing. Buy his book so that he can hopefully stay with his publisher and put out a full-length novel.

[Esteban del Mal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Jesus, Confucius, Vishnu, Rothschild family, Michael Jordan, Goodreads, et al.,

Thank you for Patrick Wensink. I mean it! After the previous two books I read, I thought you guys were priming me for some Job-like shit. Then along comes this snazzy little author and PRESTO MAGIC! I am made whole again!

I can remember a time when circumstances were such that I’d never even known of Mr. Wensink, let alone read his book. A backwards time, when talented wordsmiths like him were unable to massage a needy public with their lyrical balms. To think that I coulda missed out on barking in laughter at work and the unease of having everybody look funny at me as I tried to manipulate the book cover so that no one sees the title (and then getting a little turned-on at the thought of somebody actually seeing it -- might jazz up that stale Christmas office party, if you catch my meaning).

My head won‘t fall as heavy on the pillow tonight for having read this book. What more can I ask for?

Yours Truly,

The guy who swears he was the model for the Johnny Appleseed Punchateria story.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

Arc from author


Patrick Wensink knocks this crazy collection of short stories out of the park. His book "Sex Dungeon For Sale!" was picked up by Eraserhead Press, a publishing company that specializes in Bizarro Fiction.

What is Bizarro fiction, you might ask? According to the wiki definition, it's like Franz Kafka meets John Waters; Dr. Suess of the post-apocalypse; Alice in Wonderland for adults ... Are you craving for it yet?

Patrick does weird like nobody's business! In this collection of strange stories, we meet a realtor who trys to sell the finer points of a sex dungeon located in the homes' basement; killer dishwashering machines; a girl who starts seeing ex boyfriends faces in the strangest of places; and a marketing job where the only way to sell your product is to infect the public with the disease it cures.

While not the kind of fiction I would recommend to my mother, I love the way Patrick creates these situations that, even though they are totally absurd and out in left field, could possibly be something you find in the news headlines.

He is the type of writer I wish I could be - He has great timing and pacing, each story blossoming perfectly on the page; His phrasing and structure is comically natural, at times it's like he is talking right to you, like real people talk to each other. And, at times, I found that I was actually quite jealous that he thought of some of these stories before I did! Wensink makes writing look easy.

Highly recommended to anyone out there in readerville looking for a little excapism, something that will make you laugh while scratching your head, and thinking "Hmmmm...what if...."

[Jasmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes, yes, I am reading these books too fast and giving everything 5 stars, but it isn't my fault. They have all been short and I have simply picked books that I knew I was going to like.

This had everything I want from a short story collection, predictable but hilarious twists, creepy stories, lots of sex references, and swearing (although that there could have been more of). I liked the story that is available on Patrick Wensink's goodreads blog, and I liked the rest of the book. It reads a bit funny because there isn't a lot of continuity in length of the stories they vary in length greatly and one will seem long and the next is over before it starts, but I suppose some things you just have more to say about than others, and there is nothing worse than overextending a good joke.

The stories although strange don't seem completely out of the ordinary. Could someone have a sex dungeon? yes. Could someone hire another person to punch people? yes. Could someone's job be spreading diseases? certainly. I could get really intellectual and talk about Wensink's commentary on capitalism and the process of industrialization and make the book sound horribly boring, or I could just give you a taste:
"'No' the bible holding one said. He stuck his fingers in the space between the hardback covers. From that hollowed out holy book, the soldier fished up the world's tiniest bullet proof vest, the size a baby doll would wear."

now really tell me you don't now want to go buy the book.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Patrick Wensink -

You made me spit grape juice out of my nose on Public Transportation on the way to my day job because your short stories are so humorous. Now my book looks like it was sprayed with a blood machine. Sure it adds character to the book itself but my nose hurt for the rest of the day and I received quite a few WTF looks while I attempted to clean up before the bus got to my stop.

However, any book that elicits that kind of response from a lowly reader like myself, I consider to be an excellent book and one that I will revisit when life is being way too serious and I need a bizarre, surreal, comedic gold moment to take the edge off.

Thank you for writing such a wonderful compilation of short shorts. I enjoyed every single one of them and feel as if they went by way too fast. Now I can't wait to see what your next novel will be like.

Your fan,

- Kate

[Patrick Wensink · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wrote this book, so I'm a little biased.

[Jason Pettus · Rating 3 out of 5]

(Reprinted from the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com:]. I am the original author of this essay, as well as the owner of CCLaP; it is not being reprinted illegally.)

The prolific umbrella corporation Bizarro Books (owners of alt-horror CCLaP favorite Raw Dog Screaming Press) have an interesting experiment that they run through yet another specialty imprint, Eraserhead Press; to determine which genre authors will eventually have big enough fan bases to justify supporting them, they put out a whole mess of novella-sized story collections by beginning writers, nakedly using their commercial fates to directly decide whether or not to publish a full-length book by that author. And that's how I ended up with a copy of Sex Dungeon for Sale!, one of these slim story collections by Patrick Wensink, a bizarro author who's quite active over at literary social network Goodreads.com; although the manuscript itself is only 75 pages long, it contains twelve different stories and a foreward, obviously an attempt by Wensink to provide a wide sampling of his work and hopefully get it noticed enough to score a full-length contract. But this is also the problem with the book, and in general just the problem I have with a lot of story collections, that the pieces here are not much more than a few pages of extended riffs on their admittedly interesting titles; for example, just take the story "My Son Thinks He's French," a funny name that made me chuckle when first seeing it, but with a story that's not much more than four pages of, "And did I mention that my son thinks he's French?" Although Wensink obviously has a creative mind, and I look forward to seeing what he might give us in a full-length manuscript, the stories here are unfortunately not much more than punchlines with a couple of hundred extra words added to each of them, making this a book you can literally absorb in five minutes, simply by reading the table of contents. Although he's definitely a capable writer, I encourage Wensink to get something much more substantial out there for the public to enjoy, instead of this frothy wisp of a collection.

Out of 10: 7.0

[Joshua Nomen-Mutatio · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had I not just read two amazing books (one and two) and just started in on a third amazing book right before plowing through this slim bizarro treatise I might've given it another star. Let's call it three-point-seven.

There was nothing wrong with it really, just not what I was looking for today I guess. I don't know. My feigning-objectivity-machine is on the fritz. Same with my writing-creative/thoughtful-reviews machine.

This book was wacky fun but I started to tire of the wacky fun formula far too quickly for a book that clocks in under a hundred pages.

And because James Brown is mentioned in those pages I will pass these links along for those who know what's good for them:

Local News Never Felt So Good

&

And Let's Not Forget About The Music (Try to not shake some part of your body rhythmically to this. I dare you.)

[Anita Dalton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book may actually be a good bridge into bizarro for some readers because while it is odd, it does not cross wholly into the full-bore weirdness one experiences reading Carlton Mellick III, one of the best-known bizarros. Additionally, these stories are very much, for the most part, grounded in reality, not incorporating the heavy use of magical realism that one sees so much of in bizarro. I find magical realism amazing when done well, but it is no black mark against Sex Dungeons for Sale! that the stories are so grounded. I know many think that bizarro is schtick, the replacement for pulp sci-fi for a more jaded generation and they are wrong. While bizarro's certainly entertaining, increasingly the writers in the genre produce literary quality works, pieces that would not be out of place in Zoetrope or Zyzzyva. That is why I think, for those who want to dip their toes into high weirdness, Wensink's book would be a good starting place. I could see some of these stories in edgy mainstream lit journals. They are odd, but odd in a way that is extremely relatable. Read rest of the review here: http://ireadoddbooks.com/?p=257

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm on quite the bizarro kick lately Sex Dungeon For Sale is the only one my library has, I will have to request they bring in a ton of others.
Good book and great book depending on which short story I was reading. The good ones were crazy genius others I thought were okay.
The Foreword rocked. The title story was good as were the majority of the stories in this great little read. I did find a couple to be a bit meh for me but these were few and far between.
All in all great variety in the stories from a house for sale with a sex dungeon which really should make a house a total must buy to a kid who thinks he's French and well yeah just read it. I also now wish my mall had a Punchateria, seriously I would go bankrupt but be really happy.

[Steve Lowe · Rating 4 out of 5]

As with any collections, this has great stories and good stories, some that I preferred over others, but none that were bad. SEX DUNGEON is noticeably devoid of suckage, and in fact is rather awesome at time, especially the foreword. I really liked the foreword. Great imagination and my kind of humor.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't help thinking this book would sell a lot better with a different name! An excellent set of small bizarro stories and well worth seeking out (if you like bizarro stories of course!)

[J.W. Wargo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Id says:
Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight: The book starts with a Realtor trying to sell a house with one fucked up basement, then it introduces a guy whose son is acting French. Okay following you so far.
Now it's killer dishwashers and positive reassurances for kidnappers, weird sperm donor children and American terrorists. What happened to the French kid?
Halfway through the book I'm thinking, "This is Bizarro, the author's going to tie this all together somehow. It's been a wild ride and now it's going to get wilder."
It gets wilder alright, but no less confusing. Next thing you know, people are seeing famous historical leaders and celebrities in burnt toast and coffee stains and a couple of pharmaceutical marketers are learning how the game is really played. Music executive mishaps, the auctioning off of James Brown's capes and their subsequent adventures and it all ends in a store at the mall selling the ultimate stress reliever...
WHAT THE FUCK??? I don't understand. I thought I got Bizarro but I just don't understand. On top of all this, you never find out if that sex dungeon actually sells!

.
...
.....

Oh.

.....
...
.

It's a book of short stories. Okay, I get it now. Haha! Lovely.

Ego says:
I am truly amazed at how much depth and emotional punch has been packed into these characters. I only spent an average of 5 pages with each of them and still felt I got to know them on several levels.
Throughout the pages I found many different types I could connect with. The workaholic father too ingrained in his own world and neglecting his family until his son takes a sudden European turn. The always turning a negative into a positive army commander who holds on to Broadway song and dance ambitions. The play it safe type who lets loose to the extreme when he finds out he's dying. These people are me, I am them, and no matter how weird it gets, they are always attempting to adapt to their surrounding situations.

If I could see any one common denominator in all of these characters, it's that they are all romantics. Whether it be physical, mental,or spiritual, they all dream of more. More than what they have and more than what they can see around them.

Super-Ego says:
I don't mean to be biased, but this is my favorite of the four NBAS books. I call it so for one and one simple reason alone: Satire. This is a book that satirizes modern day society and culture the likes of which I haven't seen since D. Harlan Wilson's Psuedo-City. While his stories never get irreal like Wilson, Patrick Wensink certainly has no reservations about choking the neck of society until he sees it shit some real truths.
I have to reiterate something already said by Ego, "turning a negative into a positive". This is the underlying theme to much of this book, and especially the stories that begin and end it. They are written in a sort of second person narration, with the entire text reading as dialogue being spoken to characters like they are you the reader. This creates a wholly separate kind of feeling that almost forces you to care more about what's going in the story. They both deal with hard sells, and the people doing the selling are trying exactly the same thing: to turn a negative into a positive.
Mr. Wensick does this with a very likable audaciousness. He sees the hypocrisies, exaggerations and extravagances of our lives and reveals the hidden desires in us all. No one is left untouched, himself included as he even throws in a bit of self-deprecation seen in the Forward and in his own author blurb for himself on the back of the book.

This is Bizarro done short, svelte and supremely sassy.

[Tony · Rating 4 out of 5]

Each of the eleven short stories in this small collection are built on a lone imaginative premise, upon which the story succeeds or fails. They can be breezed through in about an hour, and while I found myself chuckling at almost every piece, they're so thin that they generally fail to leave much of an impression. They remind me of the micro-fiction and humor web sites that friends periodically send me links to. Momentarily amusing and diverting, with pleasantly skewed sensibilities, but not developed enough to really tell if the author's got the ability to pull off a fully realized short story, as opposed to an amusing skit.

For example, the title story is basically a real estate agent's narration of a home tour in which the seller has installed a sex romper room in the basement. The humor is all in the premise, and the execution of it doesn't move beyond the obvious. Similarly, "Chicken Soup for the Kidnapper's Soul" is the title and all you really need to know about a parody of the saccharine bestselling "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series. "The Many Lives of James Brown's Capes" riffs on what happened to the dead soul singer's personal effects that were sold at auction. You get the idea.

Which is not to say that some of the pieces aren't a little more biting than others. For example, "Wash, Rinse, Repeat" is a decent little satire involving washing machines with a "Kill" setting, and "Donor 322" uses email exchanges to throw a dark light on sperm donation. My favorite of all is "My Son Thinks He's French," which takes the titular concept for a spin, only to execute a twisted and hilarious punchline in the last paragraph.

Ultimately, if you have a taste for the somewhat twisted, dark, or surreal, you might want to check this out. For me, it's the kind of writing that if a friend showed me, I'd be impressed and encouraging -- but it's not quite ready for prime-time. Some good stuff here, and hopefully it's just the first taste of bigger things to come from the author.

[Casey Babb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sex Dungeon for Sale! is a quick read- you can finish it in about the time it takes to sit through Were-Dragon vs. The Teenage Psychic Mummy from Mars 6, or whatever movie SyFy is playing in between episodes of Stargate. Wensink has a natural flow to his writing style that carries like a casual conversation, and it’s peppered with what I thought were some excellent uses of metaphor. His stories have a subdued strangeness to them. I never felt like Wensink is trying too hard to be random and weird (what I call “Monkeycheese”)- the absurdities of the worlds he constructs parallel the absurdities of our own world. Things seem strange at first, but plausible. Even when writing about debates over “Kill” settings on a dish washer, or breakfast before a suicide bombing, it comes across as oddly casual, rather than a preachy commentary on contemporary mores.

With only 11 short stories, Wensink gives us a taste of his range: Donor 322 is dark, Wash,Rinse,Repeat mirrors portions of our current culture while doubling as a love story with detective elements, and My Son Thinks He’s French has an irreal aura that reminds me a bit of D. Harlan Wilson’s work. Wensink definitely has potential, and I don’t want to name-drop too much, but I got the same feeling from this book that I got from Kevin Donihe’s Shall We Gather in the Garden: this is a good first book, and I think he’s only going to improve from here.

[Steven · Rating 3 out of 5]

"All night long, her lips stenciled across his body like a nail-gun." That great line is from Wash, Rinse, Repeat, a story featuring a dishwasher with a Kill cycle, one of twelve stories in this Bizarro series collection. Some fun stuff here, but I wouldn't really characterize it as bizzaro. Absurdist humor and Onion style faux realism is more like it. These stories, although a bit rough in places, are right in line with some of things that Rick Moody, Stacey Richter, and Aimee Bender, among others, were playing around with in the late 1990s.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

FINALLY a Bizarro book that isnt too cringe worthy to read in public (other than the title of course).

I love the controversial nature of some of the stories within this collection. They don't seem to "rub it in your face" that they are touching on some of the most politically correct or should i say incorrect topic facing america and well the world but they do so subtly.

I will be recommending this book to my friends!

[Michael Economy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty crazy book. I wasn't aware it was all short stories coming in. I'd like to see longer fiction by the same author, maybe with a little more character development.

The story about the pharmasutical company was great.

[Chris Bowsman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sex Dungeon For Sale! is an eclectic group of stories. All are funny, strange, and quite entertaining. This book is better read in chunks, one or two stories at a time, depending on length.

Particularly good are "My Son Thinks He's French" and "The Many Lives of James Brown's Capes."

[Jessica Stern · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just when you think you've seen it all ... you haven't. This is a collection of bizarre short stories. Clever ideas, but I found the execution lacking. Full review here:
http://desperadopenguin.blogspot.com/...

[Ben]

Wensink takes situations that we almost know, or might know, both mundane and scary, buying a house, adultery, corporate marketing, suicide bombers and celebrity, and spins them through his characters' cracked, and at times confused, yet still humanizing, and humane, view the world.

[Melanie Catchpole · Rating 3 out of 5]

I should really read the book description before I buy books with great titles. Short stories again! Not a fan as you may already know. It's no reflection on the work, just my personal preference.
The stories were alright, I just prefer longer ones.

[Brandon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Genuinely funny. Well written but conversational at the same time. Some really strong stories in there. Would absolutely recommend.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome stories

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed my first foray into the "bizarro" genre, however, this book (thankfully) was not as sordid as the title suggests. The author has a mildly dark (gray?) side and a fantastic voice.