Falling Out of Grace: Meditations on Loss, Healing and Wisdom

by Sobonfu E. Somé

In this profound and sensitive work, African spiritual teacher Sobonfu Somé invites readers to discover in the setbacks they encounter in life a path to healing and rebirth. Her message is drawn from the ancient wisdom teachings of her village in Burkina Faso, and her experiences over more than a decade here in the West. Somé is a gifted storyteller and compassionate student of life who has contemplated deeply the nature of human triumph and defeat. The insights she offers, blending indigenous wisdom and hard experience in the contemporary West, are priceless. Without denying the suffering that accompanies loss and disappointment, she finds in these events the underlying spiritual dynamics that carry us to higher states of knowledge and fulfillment.

Genres: Spirituality, Nonfiction

144 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2001

Reviews

[Jodi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did enjoy this book, and found it very easy to read with my ADD brain, given the way it was broken up into very small pieces. For me, though, it felt like something was missing that I can't quite put my finger on. I think I was looking for (1) a better explanation of what she meant by "falling out of grace" in the first place, and (2) more depth of description of the author's personal experiences with "loss and healing". The one thing that will stick with me, though, is this (paraphrase):

"Be careful if you pour a cup of poisoned tea for another person. Sooner or later, you will forget and take a drink of that tea yourself."

[Polly Trout · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book, it is wise and humble and earthy and juicy. Here are some quotes from it I really liked.

The state of grace is that holy and contented way of being that each of us strives for. It is that state, auspicious in the spiritual realm, in which we work out all our difficulties with care, and function peacefully in connection with other people in the flow of life. It involves progress in accomplishing the purpose for which we were born into the world in a way that is pleasing to those around us. It is a state of devotion and integrity, of living harmoniously, of being looked at not as someone who is perfect, but as someone that others trust and respect. It implies a certain level of healthiness and psychological well being.

Something needs to be broken in order for a new state of grace to be born. It is the natural cycle of our spirit. In this way we are born and die many times in life before we eventually return to the land of the ancestors. If we are going to achieve our purpose in life, we must be willing to fall out of grace and accept its lessons. When we feel righteous about ourselves, or deny our brokenness, we are fighting agains the higher states of grace that await us.

While our community is an essential source of support, it also presents many challenges. One challenge I have observed is that communities in the West sometimes want to put certain people on a pedestal, to make them larger than life... the community sometimes comes to depend on an idealized view of him or her that is unreal.
This situation, although it is seductive, nearly always leads to a person's fall from grace. This is not surprising. A false image is an impossible burden, and when people fail to live up to it -- as they must -- others become disillusioned.
Putting people on a pedestal also creates a danger for the rest of the community. Those who are so greatly admired may become an excuse for others to put aside their own work, their own responsibilities toward holding the community in a state of grace. It's as if the presence of such a person gives others permission not to try as hard.

There's a difference between being in a position of power and being in a position of responsibility. Elders in traditional communities do not take power; they take responsibility and empower others. This is one thing that helps maintain the grace of the community.

[Camy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really should have known better after The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient Teachings In The Ways Of Relationships. I ought to have remembered that Sobonfu has a tendency to write flimsily, to stay on the surface, to fill a book with slight examples while NEVER probing the issue.

There is not overly much to be gained here (I did get a few salient insights but the ratio to the body of the book is disappointing). No real treatment on failure or loss, no insight into how and why one arrives at and survives these stops on one's journey, no intimate examples to which one can relate, and no wisdom offered to which can connect when in this state. Sobonfu writes as if she is hiding at best, and at worst as if she did a little pondering on this subject and then decided to take a rice grain, blow it up, and make a rice crispie.

This is full of air. I'll remember that next time; any temptation based on the premise will be resisted. From any future purchase I am now completely disinclined.

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

So vital for all of us to remember, especially in our society that is so focused on "success"--that sometimes "failures" are reminders to refocus, to reflect, to revitalize and realize what is truly important. And, if we allow ourselves, loss of our previous dreams/ideas could really allow us to fall INTO Grace.

[Ayreanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest, beautiful, inspiring... she is a gift.

[Darlene McDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a phenomenal little book. I read this book many years ago and had given copies away to friends. I was just talking about this book with other friends and hoped to find a copy to give, only to find remaining copies ~$100 - $800. That's too bad, because there's no way I would spend that much money on the book. It's a good book, but not a collector's item. I don't know why sellers have engaged in price gorging this title. You can check out my review of the book on Amazon.com.

It's a great book, but you'll probably never get a chance to read it.

[Jesse Ginsburg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is necessary.