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Because after Lies, comes The Truth.
In these pages, Al reveals the alarming story of how:
This is truly a book for everyone.
If you were a Bush voter, Al wants to set aside partisan bitterness and
talk about the better future Americans can build together for their
children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. (Generations beyond that
will have to fend for themselves.) But first, Al must show you how
Republican leaders are, at this very moment, betraying your trust and
quite possibly lighting a Cuban cigar with a burning American flag or
Bible.
If you're a liberal, this book is for you as well. Maybe even most of
all. In these pages, you will find evidence for what you already believe:
that Al Franken is among America's finest prose stylists, and that the
depravity of the Bush administration is only outmatched by the rot in the
heart of the Republican Congress.
And finally, if you are a member of a future generation who has found this
book in a pile of radioactive rubble, Al apologizes. Not because he didn't
do his best to control the proliferation of nuclear weapons from rogue
nations to non-state actors taking refuge in so-called "failed" states.
But because his countrymen evidently failed to listen.
In any case, enjoy the book.
"I present THE TRUTH not just to shock you, not just to make you laugh and
cry alternatingly, or maybe even at the same time, not just to set the
record straight-but to rouse you, to prepare you for battles ahead. The
only vaccine powerful enough to inoculate you from lies is the truth.
This book is both sword and shield. With jokes."
AL FRANKEN ON...
IRAQ
They told us that when we invaded, we'd be greeted with sweets and
flowers. They left out the crucial modifier: "exploding."
GAY MARRIAGE
George W. Bush wants to amend our Constitution to make it illegal for gays
to marry. But evidently, he has no problem with terrorists getting
married. America can't afford a president who is soft on terrorist
marriage. Because unlike gays, terrorists can breed.
BILL FRIST DIAGNOSING TERRI SCHIAVO FROM 800 MILES AWAY
The FristCam Act of 2005 would place a video camera in every one of
America's Intensive Care Units. The FristCams would pan the ICUs, and the
Senate Majority Leader would give each patient a thumbs-up or a
thumbs-down.
BUSH'S 9/11 BAIT AND SWITCH
Bin Laden must have been furious. Here he had gone to all this trouble to
murder thousands of Americans, and Saddam-Saddam, the infidel!-was getting
all the credit! Who was the head of al Qaeda?! Who was funding al
Qaeda?! Somewhere along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border there was a very
angry terrorist mastermind.
MORAL VALUES
From what I understand, if you cut out all the passages in the Bible where
Jesus talks about the poor, about helping out the least among us, you'd
have the perfect container to smuggle Rush Limbaugh's drugs in.
THE SOCIAL SECURITY "CRISIS"
The number Bush kept using, $11 trillion, represented the total shortfall
from now until the year Infinity. If you think about it, $11 trillion
over Infinity years is nothing. Over the first 11 trillion years, that's
just one dollar a year. Easy. After that, it's over. You're done.
What, exactly, is the problem?
352 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2005
In books like this one, too often cases are made on the basis of anecdotes and generalities. For example, in Bernard Goldberg’s biased Bias, the author relies on a story about a colleague calling Gary Baure “a little nut from the Christian group” as proof of a media-wide anti-Christian, anti-short people, anti-nut conspiracy. See? I started this paragraph with a generality and tried to prove it with an anecdote. That kind of sloppiness doesn’t cut it here.