Forty Days on Being a Nine:

Enneagram Daily Reflections #9

by Marlena Graves

What is it like to be an Enneagram Nine? Writer and speaker Marlena Graves reflects on this question in a spirit of honest self-assessment and with a desire for personal and spiritual growth. She draws wisdom from the deep wells of both counseling and spirituality using illustrations from both Scripture and life. Each reading concludes with an opportunity for further engagement such as a journaling prompt, a written prayer, or a spiritual practice. Any of us can find aspects of ourselves in any of the numbers. The Enneagram is a profound tool for empathy, so whether or not you are a Nine, you will grow from your reading about Nines and enhance your relationships across the Enneagram spectrum.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Psychology, Self Help, Faith, Spirituality

1 pages, Audio CD

First published February 23, 2021

About the author

Marlena Graves is a writer and adjunct professor. She has also worked at Farm Labor Organizing Committee (FLOC). Marlena holds an MDiv from Northeastern Seminary in Rochester, New York, and is a graduate of the Renovaré Institute. She has been a bylined writer for Christianity Today, (in)courage, womenleaders.com, and Our Daily Bread, and she is also the author of A Beautiful Disaster. She lives with her husband and three daughters in Toledo, Ohio.

Reviews

[Anna Joy]

This book wasn’t for me, but I can see how some folks would benefit from the short, daily reflections and thoughtful questions after each chapter. I find the Enneagram a somewhat helpful way to describe things now and then, but I think a book like this would be more intriguing for somebody who LOVES the Enneagram.

[Panda Incognito · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book shares brief reflections about how Christians who type as Nines in the Enneagram personality system can move towards a state of emotional and spiritual health in their everyday lives. The daily readings are typically two or three pages long, and are quick perspectives that pack a punch, ending with reflection questions or personal practices that readers can consider. The readings are all written by the same person, Marlena Graves, and she is a gracious and thoughtful guide, grounding her insights in concrete personal experiences. How much someone connects with this devotional may be dependent on how much they relate to her, but overall, the readings engage with themes that are relevant to anyone who shares her core motivations and core fears, as identified within this personality type.

Personal Evaluation

I enjoyed reading Forty Days on Being a Nine. I type as a One, but that devotional collection has not yet released, and I enjoyed starting with this book about Nines, which is my wing type. Reading this enriched my perspective on my own life, and I realized how much I have behaved and thought like a Nine in the past, especially back when I felt invisible and overlooked in my first youth group. I also enjoyed learning from the author, as she shared about her experiences growing up in poverty, experiencing life as a Latina woman, and engaging in various ministry jobs in her adult life. She also shares reflections about marriage and parenting, but does so without sidelining single readers or people in other stages of life. In my opinion, she does a great job of balancing memoir elements with general reflections that any Nine can relate to.

Audience Considerations

However, one thing that readers should know is that even though this is an overtly Christian book, only some of the readings directly incorporate Scripture. Christians who are looking for a Bible-based devotional should use this as supplementary reading, because even though Graves writes about spiritual concerns and occasionally quotes from Bible verses, this book primarily offers personal reflection. The short readings are perfect for busy people who don't have time to fit a longer book into their day, but even though someone can describe this book as a devotional, it is not a replacement for a book that provides readings from the Bible.

Overall, this is a great book for Enneagram Nines, people who love them, and people who are interested in Marlena Graves's work. However, if someone wants to share this with a friend or family member whom they think they think might be a Nine, they should know that this book does not offer a detailed explanation of the Enneagram system or this specific type. If someone who is excited about this personality system wants to share it with their loved ones, I would encourage them to gauge people's interest and start elsewhere, with a general introduction to this system and the blessings of self-understanding that it can bring. This book does not explain or persuade, but speaks to people who are already invested in the Enneagram system.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Talia · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a reader who very much enjoys exploring the Enneagram, I looked forward to reading Graves’s Nine-ish daily musings over the past forty days.

This devotional does a great job of keeping each lesson to a small bite-size portion, while at the same time providing hearty food for thought with challenging journal prompts.

As a result of deep-diving into my Nine-ness, I am at least a bit better at practicing self-awareness; and I also feel more empowered and equipped to practice attitudes and behaviors that bring me into health and wholeness.

I’d be curious to check out the book on Ones in this series as well.

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful gift for enneagram 9s! I feel like I know myself better and accept myself more fully. I need reminders to move out of sloth and inaction in order to better love my neighbors. Thank you, Marlena, for this beautiful resource!

[Mary Reilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book more quickly than 40 days and it will be one I return to again. Really helpful for this Enneagram 9

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very well written from the perspective of someone who is a nine. Being a nine with a one wing, I read this book eagerly. Every day is a brief reflection from daily life by the author. She shared many personal stories and examples. There were a few readings where I said "Yes! that's me!" However, her stories were so different than my own life and place in life, that for most of the readings, I just couldn't relate.
Also, I wish they would print this series in paperback. It is such a short book and it doesn't require such a heavy binding. Maybe combine several numbers in one book?

[Sawyer Whitted · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am an Enneagram Two, but my darling mother and little sister are both Nines. I picked this book up hoping to learn more about them - and man did Marlena make that happen! Understanding the internal world of a Nine can be so hard sometimes as they hold themselves back (or “fall asleep”). I’ve always known we need Nines, but after reading Marlena’s book I see it in even better color now! Nines are so patient, kind, empathetic, accepting, tough-as-nails, and some of the biggest advocates for justice. I’m so thankful for Nines and for Marlena’s book that has given me both a better understanding of their internal world, as well as a deeper appreciation for them.

[Caety · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a 9, I saw myself throughout this little book. I really enjoyed the sections and the thought provoking questions at the end of each section. I'm still learning and growing as a 9 and attempting to come out of my shell more and more. It's exhausting, but worth it.

My only reservation of this little book is Marlena's experiences don't relate with my life. I think it would have been nice to have a 9 co-writer who has a different life experience.

Now to read Forty Days on Being a Five, who is my husband.

[Douglas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Marelena Graves offers 40 daily devotionals about her identity as an Enneagram nine. As someone who identifies with that personality type, I saw myself in her reflections and learned things about myself. I am accustomed to books on the Enneagram that use outside references to describe personality types. This book reads more like an autobiography. Her stories are too long at times, so I forgot the lesson's topic while I was reading the chapter.

[Jeremy · Rating 4 out of 5]

My wife seems to be pretty well-described by this. Thankful to learn more about 9s.

[Donalee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful tool for the Enneagram Nine and those that love those amazing Nines!

[Kristin Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook. Short daily readings for personal and spiritual encouragement to grow as an Enneagram type 9.

[Brian Swanson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Boo. Wanted to love this book because it would help me understand myself better. Maybe 3 selections did that. Felt like she should have titled the book “40 Days learning from my 9 perspective.”

[Sarah LaCourse]

I didn't finish it. It was a lot of fluff and rambling.

[Graydon Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an Enneageam 9, I felt like every day was written for me. I will return to this devotional again and again!

[Angélique (Angel) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the reflections were helpful for my self-awareness but others fell flat for me. I think this book has the potential to earn a higher star rating if I ever get a chance to re-read it when I actually have 40 consecutive days to pause and reflect intentionally for it, but I'm not sure when I'll get that chance.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am definitely a 9 and I really struggle at times keeping boundaries and trying to be a peacemaker. This book is definitely encouraging and overall, a helpful on how to stay spiritually healthy while being a nine.