When Hope Is Not Enough: A How-to-guide for Living With and Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

by Bon Dobbs

Does someone you love have Borderline Personality Disorder? Are you in a relationship with a difficult person? Does this person rage at you for no reason at all? Is everything always YOUR fault? Do you feel lied to and manipulated? Do you believe that there is nowhere to turn? When Hope is Not Enough (WHINE) is here to help. WHINE provides a step-by-step plan for dealing with people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or BPD traits. WHINE can help rebuild your relationship and help you create a calmer life. Learn how to live with and love someone with BPD.

Genres: Psychology, Mental Health, Nonfiction

181 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Thane Sinclaire · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bon Dobbs has a good understanding of the subject, and his book gives both a good description of how someone with BPD can act, and how to talk and relate to someone suffering with BPD, especially a low functioning BPD.

If I have any criticism, it's that he waits until nearly the end of the book to point out that many of the tools he presents do not work with someone who is narcissistic. (I would say validating the BPD's feelings would be an exception and does help at least somewhat).

[Fern · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastically written book! Having recently read another book which was written for friends & family of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), by an author who shall remain nameless, the positive & loving place from which this is drawn made for a refreshing & hopeful change. The clearly devoted attitude to seeking improvement of the quality of life of both the carer & the individual themselves is something lacking from many books & online information of this nature, & is something which is underestimated in terms of effectiveness & motivational potential.

Highly recommended!

[Arun Kumbhat · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book that proposes the opposite of popular wisdom and offers an insight into the mind of a Borderline Person helping figure out the 'Why'. It also lays out the basic mechanics of communication strategies with Borderline People. It however has no answers on how to deal with the residues of this compassionate approach that might remain within having followed its advice. There you are pretty much on your own. A very useful book. If someone finds a useful read to follow up on this, please share.

[Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I think the author has a very good understanding of BPD for someone without the disorder. He included lots of examples of things such as Validation and how important it is to people with BPD. It was written with lots of compassion for sufferers. It tells you how to relate to people with the disorder in ways that will enhance your relationship. I would definitely recommend this book to loved ones of Borderline Personality Disorder sufferers.

[Timothy Boudreaux · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book and extremely valuable for anyone trying to love someone. If you want to be skilled at loving another person, this is for you.

So many of us struggle to find our voice. Bon Dobbs shows how incredibly important it is to validate and accept our loved ones emotions as they are. He teaches methods of communicating that validate and allow the people in our life to heal and be themselves.

I wish I had found this book long ago. Thank you Bon.