Seduced

by Jennifer Beckham

"Do you believe in the boogeyman?" I whispered shyly in her ear, letting my words tickle her neck. It had been horrible to even think that I could do this now. I couldn't get her out of my head and that was the thing that puzzled me. Why was I letting a day walker, a very dumb one at that, get inside my head and make me regret decisions I would've never thought of thinking about twice? Why did I even care about her in the first place? "No, I believe in you." She whispered back. That was all it took for me to hate her because it was easier to hate her than realize what was really going on inside of me--what I was really trying to hide. It was easier for me to hurt her and torture her rather than please her. I could deal with the pain of hurting her more than I could the other. Maybe I was selfish, but I didn't care. I couldn't care about a lot of things, and that's what left me vulnerable. It left me alone. It left me open to her. And as I stared into her unconditional eyes, I realized that maybe it was harder not to care about her.I gulped a huge amount of oxygen and then regretted it because it was tainted with her infectious scent. It burned its way slowly down my esophagus and I wanted to scream. She was a day walker! Why couldn't I realize that? Why didn't I want to?

Nook

Published April 19, 2009