Don't Leave Me This Way

by Julia Garrison

Julia Fox Garrison refused to listen to the professionals she called Dr. Jerk and Dr. Panic, who—after she suffered a massive, debilitating stroke at age thirty-seven—told her she'd probably die, or to Nurse Doom, who ignored her emergency call button. Instead she heeded the advice of kind, gifted Dr. Neuro, who promised her he would "treat your mind as well as your body." Julia figured if she could somehow manage to get herself into a wheelchair, at least she'd always find parking. But after many, many months of hospitalization and rehab—with the help of family, friends, and her own indomitable spirit—Julia not only got into a wheelchair, but she got back out.

Don't Leave Me This Way is the funny, inspiring, profoundly moving true story of a woman's fight for her life and dignity—and her determined quest to awaken an entrenched, unfeeling medical community to the fact that there's always a human being inside every patient.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Medical, Humor, Autobiography

352 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

Reviews

[☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cough medicine leading to brain stroke? Nice advancement of the medical profession. One might be inclined to think that simply weathering the cough out might be considered a better option. Gosh!
And this gal is really cool. Her 'obnoxiousness' and 'obstinacy' and whatever are mislabelled. She simply refused to give up, which is the very best thing anyone can do under any circumstances, including ones as dire as the author's here. Actually, I would sue any and every medical practitioneer who would even fragging try to make a patient to give up on their recovery.

[Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book kept my interest but as a therapist I got my hackles up at her description of therapists and medical professionals overall. She had some really great ones after her major dehabilitating stroke, but the majority of the health care professionals in her book are uncaring, ignorant, or rude. Usually all three.

Maybe it upset me because I don't like to think about people being treated awful during their journey through rehab. It sounded like she had a rough go of it. She clearly, painfully describes the loss of dignity she experienced in rehab and as a part of the system that makes me part of the problem.

Her story is interesting - she never wanted to take "no" for an answer and in most cases her undoubtably hard work got her to the recovery she experiences today. I feel that she drives the point home too hard about people labeling her as "in denial" and "impulsive". And how that was not the case. But from my point of view, her entire book is full of examples of her being impulsive and in denial!

My favorite parts were the descriptions of her supportive and funny friends. She never lost her sense of humor and I enjoyed reading about how this got her through many tough situations.

[Lydia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Julia gives insight of what it is like to have a stroke affecting one side, all so called left side neglect. She shares with you her struggles of having the stroke and going through rehab frustrations. Don't take your life for granted, as you will never really know when something will happen to you. Live with what you have now, as you may not have it later.

[Pr Latta · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this while my son was in acute rehab (fortunately, a much more positive experience than Garrison's!) after a severe traumatic brain injury. While stroke and TBI are very different, much of TBI rehab is shared with stroke rehab. My son also experienced (less severe) left neglect so I appreciated the insider's view and used Garrison's descriptions to help my son realize why what he considered to be "trying" was to the staff "impulsive behavior." Because we were in the midst of our experience, the use of the second person felt natural to me. I suspect that because of where we were with my son's recovery, the earlier parts of the book "spoke" to me more than the latter. Garrison's upbeat "black humor" in the face her grim experience suited me, though I can see where other's might not find it appealing.

[Barbara Bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my third traumatic brain injury book in a row so I think I am done but still a really good, interesting, funny, and heart wrenching book. Makes you feel lucky to be alive with all of your body intact and working as it should.

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

She was My CSD graduation speaker, really enjoyed her book!

[Victoria Marshal · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was written in second person which made it impossible to get close to this story for me.

[Kaye Lundy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book as assigned reading for my graduate program in rehabilitative medicine, and I was pleasantly surprised by what it had to offer. The book is a true story about Julia's stroke following her use of a particular type of cold medicine. It shows the process of (literally) getting back on her feet, through both ups and downs. Her experiences showcase the way a stroke impacts daily life, the uncertainty, pain, and mental struggle that accompany an event such as that one. She also writes about the difficulties that she had with most of her medical team, who were entitled, arrogant, or dismissive of her concerns.

My professors had me read this book in order to understand better what each and every one of my patients may be going through. It helped me gain some great insight into what it means to be a good clinical practitioner and how to help each person obtain their own goals, despite what I may think about those goals. While the force of her personality can be much in some places, I think that there's no reason to think that it's a bad thing.

[MaryAnne · Rating 3 out of 5]

A young woman (37) has a massive brain hemorrhage. She's lucky to be alive and she is told she'll never get out of her wheelchair. This is her story. She does much better than doctors expected but still has limitations. The take away from her story is how frustrating it was for her to have this positive hard working attitude and basically be told by most medical professionals that she was in denial. She was treated pretty badly on a regular basis. Her appendixes have helpful items for patients...A prescription for a productive doctor's visit...basic dos and don'ts for doctors.. The author now is regularly invited as a motivational speaker to doctor's groups around the country. Quick, interesting read.

[Teri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspirational memoir of a 37 year old Massachusetts woman who has a stroke and brain hemorrhage. She has an amazing outlook and sense of humor and tells it like it is. Her husband, many brothers and parents are a huge support. Great insight into how her life changed and how she adjusted to her broken body.

[Brianna Cohen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was assigned reading for my graduate program in Prosthetics and orthotics and I finished it in a day. Well written and informative for clinicians and patients alike. Other than a new fear of cold medicine, I loved this biography.

[Meg Grunst · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to read this for my prosthetics and orthotics grad program. It was really good!! All the praise on the cover was right! I loved reading about her experience, she was very open and honest about what she was going through and I loved her positive attitude. Definitely a great read!!!

[Grace Melloy · Rating 2 out of 5]

i had to read this for class. I mean this is someone’s mom so i’m gonna applaude that however I knew the plot for the first page. slay to this lady for not becoming a quadriplegic and being resilient.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for a class. I love how Julia Garrison shared her truth of what she felt going through recovery.

[Huguette Larochelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

the fight to recover from a strokes .

[Kaylee Ruano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very inspiring story.

[rach]

school book

[Debra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Needs to be read by every healthcare professional.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very inspirational. Personal application, Anita and Jean

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I struggled to decide on a rating for this one -- I feel like it was a good book club choice since there was a lot to discuss but I had a hard time connecting to the book. I think part of it was the decision to write the book not from the first person. By writing it as "you did this" and "you felt that," I felt detached from the story and was distracted by what I saw as a gimmick. I can see how that could be a good way for the reader to put themselves in the story or perhaps for the author to write about what happened with some emotional distance. I enjoyed the last part of the book when the author switched to the first person better. I found myself getting frustrated with the author and was glad that when the doctor she respected gave her the reality check that she took it to heart. I can't imagine going through something so life-changing at such a young age and I think the way she refused to accept the first diagnosis is laudable and really shows how important your outlook is to dealing with a major life change...however, I kept thinking that she was lucky to have health insurance; access to multiple health provider options; an extremely large support network in her family, friends, and co-workers; a loving husband and child. Everyone deals with major life changes differently, so she found a way that worked for her...but I felt, at times, that the author was a bit selfish and didn't seem to fully appreciate the toll the stroke was taking on her husband, son, and others. I hesitate to say this since I haven't been in that position and don't know how I would react. But that's how I reacted to the book.

[Derek Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a real "feel-good" book, but it may depend on how you feel in the first place.

Following a massive stroke at the age of 37, Julia fights back against fate, her defeatist doctors and the world in general to reach probably the highest stage of recovery that she could manage. She's feisty, opinionated, irreverent and, most of all humorous, despite all odds.

That's the good part. Now the caveats. For some benighted reason, 90% of the book is told in the second person, a peculiarly distancing mechanism for what is decidedly a first-person tale.

Then there is the raft of unanswered questions, with almost every encounter left in mid-stream and most physical aspects unexplained. She falls down. A lot. She has pain in her left side but no feeling--hmmm? She puts up with a constant procession of unfeeling, dimwitted and incompetent medical professionals and remains for months in a hideous, unresponsive rehab facility. Why? She has immense support from an apparently unlimited passel of friends and relatives who do nothing about her treatment (or ill-treatment). Perplexing. She continues to joke with doctors who don't appreciate her humor. Well...

In the end, I greatly admired her stamina, courage and unflagging optimism. I just didn't like her much.

[Terri Ann · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author writes in the third person, which at first packs a real punch in getting the emotion across, as if you are going through her experiences yourself. But about a quarter into the book, it got to me. She also has an obnonxious black humor that saturates the book from beginning to end. If you are expecting a positive, uplifting story of a woman's struggle to walk and talk again after a massive stroke, this is not it. While she consciously wants to appear as if she is a fighter, instead she comes off as being stubborn, obstinant and negative. She is often quite cruel to those who are genuinely offering help. Very few people does she embrace. The worst part of it is the constant joking when the situation wasn't funny, nor were the jokes she would crack. It appeared to me as if she was justifiably scared and insecure, but tried to be a clown to act as if she wasn't. I couldn't wait to finish the book, and when I did, there was no happy 'pay-off' for her miserably rebellious attitude, which I was hoping for. Instead it drops the reader with a thud and you are left to assume that she is still living the way she did throughout the book to present day.

[Rae]

I really enjoyed this book. Julia Garrison suffered a cerebral hemorrage in her mid 30's due to the simple act of taking an OTC cough medicine. She suffered both cognitive and physical damage. She refused, however, to believe most of the the doctors told her with regard to what functions she would / would not be able to re-learn. She has a wicked sense of humor and did not think twice of telling people exactly what she thought about whatever it was they were telling her (including insensitive strangers). The book is not written in a narrative but; she writes very short chapters which made the information easier to handle as I could pick it up / put it down over an extended period of time. But I find myself thinking about her when I am whining about something I need to do that is incredilby easy, and I am always thankful when I walk to my Pilates class.

[Stacey · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the topic of this book was hard for me to read about (reminds me that this could happen to anyone), the writing style and the humor in it made this a quick read.

I did have to remind myself that the book was written from a patient's point of view and that her comments about the health care professionals were strictly about her interactions with them, and didn't take into account where they were coming from. In my career, I deal with employers, health insurance, etc... and I admit that I winced when the author seemed to be too critical of some of the mid-level and lower level health care workers who were trying to help her. Then too, I have experienced someone who seems to have more concern for their job, then for me, the patient.

I would reccomend this book for the author's positive attitude and refusal to have limitations put on her recovery.

[Shira · Rating 4 out of 5]

Julia Garrison's macabre humor and stubborn drive is truly beautiful. The energy necessary for the on going recovery from a stroke resulting in such extreme deficits, especially when faced with such narrow sighted doctors, is immeasurable. Her story made me incredibly mad with her medical professionals. Those of us who have survived a stroke know we are going to run into doctors taking a conservative stance on our recovery, but the people she ran into were worse than that. I can not believe her inpatient therapists allowed her to fall once, much less every time she attempted anything. Any fall is dangerous. Her story made me very grateful for the care I received.

[kathi · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author writes in a style I cannot stand and that irritates me no end. She writes in second person therefore she was talking about me as if her experiences were mine....by using the pronoun "you". If it is your experience, your words, your feelings, your thoughts then claim them as your own....don't tell me the "doctor walked into your room" no.....he walked into the authors room "mine".

Her attitude and positive thinking took her far in her recovery from a massive stroke and the book was interesting from that point but the writing style made it hard for me to enjoy.

[Kathryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Julia Garrison writes with wit and passion about her experiences after suffering a right-hemisphere stroke at the age of 37. This book is so much better than Lisa Genova's fiction on the same topic that I've been compelled to yank a star from Lisa. This should be required reading for all neurologists, nurses, physical therapists, and nursing aides.

Don't Leave Me This Way gave me new insights on what my mother might have been thinking after her two massive right-hemisphere strokes.

[Verena · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books that everyone should read. It gives such a great perspective on what happens after a catastrophic physical incident. I have great respect for this woman and what she accomplished after her massive stroke. I don't know that I would have been nearly as optimistic or would have pushed so hard to regain basic function.

[Kristina Ruttan · Rating 3 out of 5]

An honest account of what it's like to experience a unexpected disability; however, the honesty comes in the form of sarcasm and anger and it gets a little tiring. It's saving feature is the insight it provides in how not to be a health care worker.
A very quick read - short sentences, short chapters.

[Don · Rating 4 out of 5]

Told in the second person, the story is about the challenges and adaptations of a young mother following a stroke. The different point of view, while at times detracted from the story, enabled the reader to experience raw emotions, fear, and coping strategies of the patient as well as perceptions of (mis)understanding. As I therapist, I saw opportunities to improve patient care.