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We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes
I am a snake.
No, not a rattlesnake. I just look like one. I'm a gopher snake.
One day an oily, filthy, fleshy human child crossed my path. As luck would have it, he knew the difference between a gopher snake and a rattlesnake. He has imprisoned me in a terrarium. His name is Gunnar. He calls me Crusher. He thinks I'm male. I'm not.
He dropped in a dead mouse and hoped I'd eat it. I buried it. He then dropped in a live one, which he called "Breakfast." I didn't lay a coil on it.
Gunnar thinks I'll be his adoring pet. He's wrong.
In fact, I am planning my escape. I may take Breakfast with me.
Crusher will charm readers in this entertaining, clever novel about a snake in captivity and how she turns the tables on her human captor.
No, not a rattlesnake. I just look like one. I'm a gopher snake.
One day an oily, filthy, fleshy human child crossed my path. As luck would have it, he knew the difference between a gopher snake and a rattlesnake. He has imprisoned me in a terrarium. His name is Gunnar. He calls me Crusher. He thinks I'm male. I'm not.
He dropped in a dead mouse and hoped I'd eat it. I buried it. He then dropped in a live one, which he called "Breakfast." I didn't lay a coil on it.
Gunnar thinks I'll be his adoring pet. He's wrong.
In fact, I am planning my escape. I may take Breakfast with me.
Crusher will charm readers in this entertaining, clever novel about a snake in captivity and how she turns the tables on her human captor.
128 pages, Library Binding
First published January 1, 2009
22 people are currently reading
343 people want to read
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March 7, 2009
Talking animals. They're great. Where would we be without our Charlotte's Web, our The Wind in the Willows or our Babe The Gallant Pig? Kids like to imagine their pets with rich inner lives. I think the recent success of books like The Warriors by Erin Hunter are evidence enough of that. And titles where kids capture and befriend wild animals? Whether you're talking about Rascal or Wings, we're all familiar with the set-up. Child (usually a boy) finds and adopts a wild animal, usually injured. The two bond and then comes the painful separation at the end. Sniff snuck you're done. I imagine Patrick Jennings looking at such stories with a wry smile on his face. I mean, sure it sounds nice when you're talking about the bond between warm-blooded creatures. So what happens when a boy catches a snake with the sole purpose of seeing it kill and destroy other creatures? And what if we're getting all this from the snake's point of view as it desperately attempts to figure out a means of escape? Suddenly this heartwarming trope takes a more interesting turn, and if your author is good (and Jennings is) then you've got yourself a book that's short, exciting, interesting, funny, and touching in turns.
Had the gopher snake Gunnar captured actually been a rattler (as he initially thought it was) he still couldn't have been more pleased to add it to his collection of wild reptiles in separate terrariums. After naming the snake Crusher, Gunnar proceeds to watch her refuse to eat. Crusher has some standards, after all, and she has every intention of escaping from her unexpected prison. When Gunnar attempts to tempt her with a live mouse (one she mistakenly assumes is named Breakfast) her stubbornness turns the furry neighbor into a surprising friend. Crusher remains dedicated to escaping, but now she has a small mammal to take care of as well. And when the time comes, it's going to take all her cunning to get them both away safely.
The book stands at a scant 128 pages, ideal for the reluctant reader, in spite of its lack of pictures. In fact I have the strangest feeling that some of the kids who might like the book the most could be Gunnars of their own. The real trick to a book like this, however, is how effectively the writing is going to suck a reader in. For Crusher to be our heroine, she needs to be charming and infinitely all things snake. We need to believe that we're dealing with a reptile here. Jennings delivers. He knows how to convey snake anatomy and fears ("A snake has no greater fear than of falling. It's the lack of limbs. We can do nothing to prevent ourselves from flopping onto our ribs, and a snake is all ribs."). Snake maternal instincts ("I can't imagine living with one's offspring. I've never even met mine."). And snake disgust with human eating habits when confronted with milk in a fridge ("Mammal juice"). It isn't that you don't sympathize and grow to love Crusher. You just don't forget that this is a snake you're dealing with, and that is exactly how Crusher would prefer it.
The thing about Gunnar is that as a villain he doesn't harbor the sheer vindictiveness you'd find in, say, Gar Face from The Underneath. No his cruelty is evident far more in his neglect. As a child alternately ignored and pampered by his negligent parents, Gunnar seeks affection from reptiles, even if he mistreats them in turn. He's a flawed boy, but not entirely unsympathetic. You understand why Crusher would be inclined to comfort him, but you are equally aware that escape is the only option here. The boy is a menace to anything he captures, and getting out alive isn't just a necessity, it's imperative.
The friendship between Crusher and Breakfast is delightful. Breakfast has all the brains of a mouse with the requisite panic and limited vocabulary you would expect from such a creature. In fact, Crusher's slow friendship with Breakfast reminded me of a great line in Charise Mericle Harper's graphic novel Fashion Kitty. In that book a family of cats keeps a mouse as a pet, but it's acknowledged right off the bat that this is considered the equivalent of a human keeping a chocolate cake as a pet. The next panel shows a human with a cake on a leash saying wistfully, "I love you, but I really wish I could eat you." Crusher, to my infinite relief, doesn't become some vegetarian snake either. Sure, she eats a fair amount of eggs, but you get the feeling that Breakfast aside, she still harbors a sweet tooth for a fine frisky rodent.
The book would actually pair quite beautifully with Snake and Lizard by Joy Cowley. Both titles know how to make carnivorous snakes into loveable, if still essentially snakelike, characters. Though I was vaguely baffled by some of the ancient slang peppering this book (Mom, at one point, is said to be in danger of "having a cow" if she finds out something), I'm willing to forgive a book a lot if it includes a character eating a breakfast cereal called "Quasimod-Os". We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes is such a slim little novel, I worry it will get lost in the vast hoards of titles being released at this time. Do yourself a favor. Find it. Enjoy it. Give it to boys and girls alike, because when it comes to kid-friendly, well-written fare, this book is for everybody. A delicate little jewel of a novel.
Ages 7-12.
Had the gopher snake Gunnar captured actually been a rattler (as he initially thought it was) he still couldn't have been more pleased to add it to his collection of wild reptiles in separate terrariums. After naming the snake Crusher, Gunnar proceeds to watch her refuse to eat. Crusher has some standards, after all, and she has every intention of escaping from her unexpected prison. When Gunnar attempts to tempt her with a live mouse (one she mistakenly assumes is named Breakfast) her stubbornness turns the furry neighbor into a surprising friend. Crusher remains dedicated to escaping, but now she has a small mammal to take care of as well. And when the time comes, it's going to take all her cunning to get them both away safely.
The book stands at a scant 128 pages, ideal for the reluctant reader, in spite of its lack of pictures. In fact I have the strangest feeling that some of the kids who might like the book the most could be Gunnars of their own. The real trick to a book like this, however, is how effectively the writing is going to suck a reader in. For Crusher to be our heroine, she needs to be charming and infinitely all things snake. We need to believe that we're dealing with a reptile here. Jennings delivers. He knows how to convey snake anatomy and fears ("A snake has no greater fear than of falling. It's the lack of limbs. We can do nothing to prevent ourselves from flopping onto our ribs, and a snake is all ribs."). Snake maternal instincts ("I can't imagine living with one's offspring. I've never even met mine."). And snake disgust with human eating habits when confronted with milk in a fridge ("Mammal juice"). It isn't that you don't sympathize and grow to love Crusher. You just don't forget that this is a snake you're dealing with, and that is exactly how Crusher would prefer it.
The thing about Gunnar is that as a villain he doesn't harbor the sheer vindictiveness you'd find in, say, Gar Face from The Underneath. No his cruelty is evident far more in his neglect. As a child alternately ignored and pampered by his negligent parents, Gunnar seeks affection from reptiles, even if he mistreats them in turn. He's a flawed boy, but not entirely unsympathetic. You understand why Crusher would be inclined to comfort him, but you are equally aware that escape is the only option here. The boy is a menace to anything he captures, and getting out alive isn't just a necessity, it's imperative.
The friendship between Crusher and Breakfast is delightful. Breakfast has all the brains of a mouse with the requisite panic and limited vocabulary you would expect from such a creature. In fact, Crusher's slow friendship with Breakfast reminded me of a great line in Charise Mericle Harper's graphic novel Fashion Kitty. In that book a family of cats keeps a mouse as a pet, but it's acknowledged right off the bat that this is considered the equivalent of a human keeping a chocolate cake as a pet. The next panel shows a human with a cake on a leash saying wistfully, "I love you, but I really wish I could eat you." Crusher, to my infinite relief, doesn't become some vegetarian snake either. Sure, she eats a fair amount of eggs, but you get the feeling that Breakfast aside, she still harbors a sweet tooth for a fine frisky rodent.
The book would actually pair quite beautifully with Snake and Lizard by Joy Cowley. Both titles know how to make carnivorous snakes into loveable, if still essentially snakelike, characters. Though I was vaguely baffled by some of the ancient slang peppering this book (Mom, at one point, is said to be in danger of "having a cow" if she finds out something), I'm willing to forgive a book a lot if it includes a character eating a breakfast cereal called "Quasimod-Os". We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes is such a slim little novel, I worry it will get lost in the vast hoards of titles being released at this time. Do yourself a favor. Find it. Enjoy it. Give it to boys and girls alike, because when it comes to kid-friendly, well-written fare, this book is for everybody. A delicate little jewel of a novel.
Ages 7-12.
May 30, 2011
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. I love how it is told by the point of view of the snake and how it adds lots of factual information about the animals that Gunnar catches and keeps for pets. The relationship between Crusher and Breakfast is too cute and I laughed out loud every time Breakfast would chirp up and repeat himself over and over again. Too cute. I love when I read a book that has me feeling empathy for the characters, especially when the main characters are a snake and a mouse!
I have a feeling that this book will be a hit in my classroom. Now, the only question that remains is if this book should go in the realistic fiction section of my library. The animals "talk" but in the sense of telepathy for the reptiles, and the mouse squeaks words that the reptiles understand, but the humans and animals do not communicate, so I'm guessing that this is realistic fiction. Animals have thoughts. Yup, I'm glad I was able to talk that out.
Very cute and fun read!
I have a feeling that this book will be a hit in my classroom. Now, the only question that remains is if this book should go in the realistic fiction section of my library. The animals "talk" but in the sense of telepathy for the reptiles, and the mouse squeaks words that the reptiles understand, but the humans and animals do not communicate, so I'm guessing that this is realistic fiction. Animals have thoughts. Yup, I'm glad I was able to talk that out.
Very cute and fun read!
March 21, 2012
I had never imagined myself as a reptile. Now I have. And it was a surprisingly intriguing, and not altogether unpleasant, experience for me. I have Patrick Jennings’ book WE CAN’T ALL BE RATTLESNAKES to thank for it!
This book originally popped up on my radar when it was first published in 2009 but somehow it kept getting pushed farther down on my “to read” list. On my latest trip to the library I happened to see it on the shelf, knew it had been on my list for a while and checked it out.
I finished it in one sitting. The narrator is a snake who is captured by a young boy to be kept as a pet. She discovers this particular human has captured other reptiles (a tortoise and a lizard) with whom she can telepathically communicate. It is from them that she gains much of her information about her new circumstances.
Reptile facts are mixed in to dispel common misinformation. It also addresses the issue of capturing wild animals and keeping them as pets. One of the assets of the story is that the narrator is able to express anger and outrage about her captivity and yet, in the end, does not spew any hateful kind of venom at her boy captor, either physically or emotionally.
I enjoyed the story, itself, as well as learned things about reptiles I did not know (I have a limited knowledge of these animals in general). I also appreciated the fact that the ending is not a typical “happily ever after” and yet it is extremely satisfying and positive.
I would not use this as a read-aloud with a group of students due to two or three word choices. I would, however, recommend it highly as an independent read or an older child read-aloud with a parent. A child who has a particular interest in reptiles–especially snakes–will find the book hugely enjoyable!
This book originally popped up on my radar when it was first published in 2009 but somehow it kept getting pushed farther down on my “to read” list. On my latest trip to the library I happened to see it on the shelf, knew it had been on my list for a while and checked it out.
I finished it in one sitting. The narrator is a snake who is captured by a young boy to be kept as a pet. She discovers this particular human has captured other reptiles (a tortoise and a lizard) with whom she can telepathically communicate. It is from them that she gains much of her information about her new circumstances.
Reptile facts are mixed in to dispel common misinformation. It also addresses the issue of capturing wild animals and keeping them as pets. One of the assets of the story is that the narrator is able to express anger and outrage about her captivity and yet, in the end, does not spew any hateful kind of venom at her boy captor, either physically or emotionally.
I enjoyed the story, itself, as well as learned things about reptiles I did not know (I have a limited knowledge of these animals in general). I also appreciated the fact that the ending is not a typical “happily ever after” and yet it is extremely satisfying and positive.
I would not use this as a read-aloud with a group of students due to two or three word choices. I would, however, recommend it highly as an independent read or an older child read-aloud with a parent. A child who has a particular interest in reptiles–especially snakes–will find the book hugely enjoyable!
January 19, 2011
This is a hilarious book told from the viewpoint of a snake who has been captured by a little boy. We not only learn a great deal about reptiles from this book, but we also learn about the foibles of humans. I am still concerned, however, that authors for young children (elementary age) feel it is OK to put curse words into their books. This book would have been just as effective without the one word thrown in. Thanks Debra RT for recommending. I too, like the ending, and the beginning, and the middle.
Want to read
May 31, 2009Why: Saw this in NYT book review. I like the idea of the story being from the snake's perspective, esp. as Logan has been into catching things lately. Have to pre-read though; might be too scary in terms of realistic snake behavior. I don't really want to add snakes to list of Logan's fears which includes waves, large ants, and bees.
May 22, 2013
This is a wonderful little gem of literature.
My fiance Tyler picked it out at the library, and I was excited to read it.
I've always loved books about animals, especially when written from the animal's point of view.
I thought it was a cool and original concept to write from the viewpoint of a snake!
When we read the inside of the jacket, I thought it was also cool that the author happened to have lived previously in Arizona, our state.
Snakes played significance in my childhood.
My mother was very afraid of all reptiles, and I was fascinated by them, especially lizards. I grew up around them and saw different types many times in the wild. All the boys in my apartment complex would cruelly capture and cage wild reptiles just like the boy in this story.
One time, one of my cats even carried a snake in his mouth to us over the backyard fence!
I was intrigued at the premise of a snake who won't eat mice, and the fact that the book seemed to promise an exploration of ethics and animal rights.
Well, it does.
I read this book in one day, in one sitting, and it was worth it.
I loved the character of "Crusher", the gopher snake.
I was completely surprised when I learned that
Crusher is completely determined and passionate, and I loved the progression of their character. They start off as aloof and apathetic, and slowly change into a very empathetic, affectionate, compassionate, considerate character.
I loved their affection for Breakfast, the mouse, whom
Even though the two of them cannot communicate telepathically since they are not both reptiles, their relationship is beautiful and poignant.
I love when Crusher becomes a "slide" for Breakfast in order to cheer them up while they are starving. That part was very bittersweet for me and it was so poignant how Breakfast wanted to slide over and over repeatedly. I love Crusher's dedication to Breakfast.
I have no sympathy for Gunnar's character, unlike Crusher, who even at the book's end forgave all his actions.
"I even felt a measure of sympathy for him. It wasn't his fault he was coarse, clueless, and cruel. He was juvenile. And he was human."
Gunnar wasn't lonely. He had friends and plenty of video games as well as his own "teevee" in his room to keep him occupied. There was no reason that he needed to have any pet animal-least of all, MULTIPLE animals kept as prisoners in his room.
Especially when he was too lazy and distracted by his video games to even feed these animals. And he didn't even have more than one heat lamp!
Why is he capturing reptiles when he only has ONE heat lamp?!
That part made me furious, especially because that is the reason that
I thought the element that
I liked the choice of name for Gunnar's character-like 'gunner'. It fit his violent video-game addicted persona well.
Some reviewer wrote that Crusher
The writing of this book is very good and humorous, in a voice and style that will appeal to readers.
The sentences are concise, and the chapters are short, which I think is one of the many elements that could make it appeal to young male readers.
I appreciate that the author took a 'realistic' approach to the plot, instead of it being a book about anthropomorphic animals that can talk in plots that are otherwise irrelevant to their status as an animal.
This book makes complete use of the choice of animal characters, and the result is effective.
I appreciated that the author incorporated video games into the plot, since it involves a young typical male.
I always notice that males write differently than females.
The voices of all the characters are very distinct and dynamic.
The conversations between the human boy characters were amusing and realistic.
It makes me happy that there is a well-written book which focuses on empathy for animals and their situation as captive "pets" which is geared towards males.
There aren't enough well-written young adult books constructed for a male audience, and this is one of them.
It has elements that appeal to male readers-video games and snakes!
I hope that this book not only encourages males to read, but also gets males in particular to be more aware of their choices concerning animals and animal rights.
This book is great for introducing the concept of animal rights to young readers.
It does this by literally placing the reader in the position of the animal, which is the most effective method for instigating empathy.
I do agree that there could be more closure at the end of the story, because
However, I think that this story is above all about the character of Crusher, not even ultimately a message.
And Crusher's character is strong enough to build the story upon.
At the end, we know that Crusher
For me, that was still a satisfactory ending.
Especially because the message of animal rights was strongly addressed through the story already.
I added a lot of quotes that I enjoyed from this book to Goodreads, and I will add two here in my review.
"Did humans control scents as well as the temperature and the waters?
Is that what windows were for, to keep out scents? Why did they wish to put invisible barriers between themselves and the world?"
"Life in a box was unbearable.
How did humans stand it?"
My fiance Tyler picked it out at the library, and I was excited to read it.
I've always loved books about animals, especially when written from the animal's point of view.
I thought it was a cool and original concept to write from the viewpoint of a snake!
When we read the inside of the jacket, I thought it was also cool that the author happened to have lived previously in Arizona, our state.
Snakes played significance in my childhood.
My mother was very afraid of all reptiles, and I was fascinated by them, especially lizards. I grew up around them and saw different types many times in the wild. All the boys in my apartment complex would cruelly capture and cage wild reptiles just like the boy in this story.
One time, one of my cats even carried a snake in his mouth to us over the backyard fence!
I was intrigued at the premise of a snake who won't eat mice, and the fact that the book seemed to promise an exploration of ethics and animal rights.
Well, it does.
I read this book in one day, in one sitting, and it was worth it.
I loved the character of "Crusher", the gopher snake.
I was completely surprised when I learned that
Crusher is completely determined and passionate, and I loved the progression of their character. They start off as aloof and apathetic, and slowly change into a very empathetic, affectionate, compassionate, considerate character.
I loved their affection for Breakfast, the mouse, whom
Even though the two of them cannot communicate telepathically since they are not both reptiles, their relationship is beautiful and poignant.
I love when Crusher becomes a "slide" for Breakfast in order to cheer them up while they are starving. That part was very bittersweet for me and it was so poignant how Breakfast wanted to slide over and over repeatedly. I love Crusher's dedication to Breakfast.
I have no sympathy for Gunnar's character, unlike Crusher, who even at the book's end forgave all his actions.
"I even felt a measure of sympathy for him. It wasn't his fault he was coarse, clueless, and cruel. He was juvenile. And he was human."
Gunnar wasn't lonely. He had friends and plenty of video games as well as his own "teevee" in his room to keep him occupied. There was no reason that he needed to have any pet animal-least of all, MULTIPLE animals kept as prisoners in his room.
Especially when he was too lazy and distracted by his video games to even feed these animals. And he didn't even have more than one heat lamp!
Why is he capturing reptiles when he only has ONE heat lamp?!
That part made me furious, especially because that is the reason that
I thought the element that
I liked the choice of name for Gunnar's character-like 'gunner'. It fit his violent video-game addicted persona well.
Some reviewer wrote that Crusher
The writing of this book is very good and humorous, in a voice and style that will appeal to readers.
The sentences are concise, and the chapters are short, which I think is one of the many elements that could make it appeal to young male readers.
I appreciate that the author took a 'realistic' approach to the plot, instead of it being a book about anthropomorphic animals that can talk in plots that are otherwise irrelevant to their status as an animal.
This book makes complete use of the choice of animal characters, and the result is effective.
I appreciated that the author incorporated video games into the plot, since it involves a young typical male.
I always notice that males write differently than females.
The voices of all the characters are very distinct and dynamic.
The conversations between the human boy characters were amusing and realistic.
It makes me happy that there is a well-written book which focuses on empathy for animals and their situation as captive "pets" which is geared towards males.
There aren't enough well-written young adult books constructed for a male audience, and this is one of them.
It has elements that appeal to male readers-video games and snakes!
I hope that this book not only encourages males to read, but also gets males in particular to be more aware of their choices concerning animals and animal rights.
This book is great for introducing the concept of animal rights to young readers.
It does this by literally placing the reader in the position of the animal, which is the most effective method for instigating empathy.
I do agree that there could be more closure at the end of the story, because
However, I think that this story is above all about the character of Crusher, not even ultimately a message.
And Crusher's character is strong enough to build the story upon.
At the end, we know that Crusher
For me, that was still a satisfactory ending.
Especially because the message of animal rights was strongly addressed through the story already.
I added a lot of quotes that I enjoyed from this book to Goodreads, and I will add two here in my review.
"Did humans control scents as well as the temperature and the waters?
Is that what windows were for, to keep out scents? Why did they wish to put invisible barriers between themselves and the world?"
"Life in a box was unbearable.
How did humans stand it?"
August 15, 2024
I found this YA novel to be such an engaging read! The author’s voice shines through in the dialogue between the animal characters who are grappling with captivity. Unlikely friendships form, clever nicknames are given like Speedy the tortoise and Breakfast who is the pet mouse in one snake’s cage. Readers will experience all the feels as these animals struggle with the desire for freedom, anger toward their irresponsible captor, and sadness as captive friends succumb to neglect. Ultimately, this fantasy novel is an enjoyable read for middle-aged readers and a story that teaches readers about compassion and empathy.
April 21, 2025
Charming. The point of view is that of a gopher snake captured by the carelessly brutal kid Gunner, who names her Crusher. As an act of resistance, Crusher refuses to eat a mouse, whom she ironically calls Breakfast.
Ultimately, like Matthew the nerd who doesn’t approve of what Gunner has done and who actually knows things, Crusher chooses to be different, befriends Breakfast, and pursues a new freedom.
Ultimately, like Matthew the nerd who doesn’t approve of what Gunner has done and who actually knows things, Crusher chooses to be different, befriends Breakfast, and pursues a new freedom.
September 28, 2009
After a boy named Gunnar captures her, puts her in a cage, and names her “Crusher,” a gopher snake vows to live free or die. Unfortunately, this is easier said that done, as Crusher’s fellow prisoners – a lizard and a tortoise – can attest. Crusher is just one of many animals that have suffered and even died at the hands of this “slimy” young human, who spends most of his time playing video games when not alternately mauling and neglecting his pets.
Although she refuses out of pride to eat the live mouse that Gunnar lowers into her cage, Crusher decides that the only way to freedom is to get Gunnar to trust her by making nice. She lets Gunnar pick her up and hold her, flicks her tongue sympathetically, hisses at his enemies, and listens to him – and although her attempt at escape fails, she finds herself feeling strangely sympathetic toward this unlikable but pitiable boy. Weirder yet, she bonds with the hyperactive mouse (“Breakfast”) with whom she now shares living quarters and finds herself treating the other captured reptiles, whom she formerly thought of only as food or lesser beings, with respect.
This story is necessarily told from Crusher’s point of view, and her knowing, dry, and sardonic voice is a delight. Her scathing remarks on almost every creature and topic are invariably “overheard” (through reptile telepathy) and remarked upon by her fellow prisoners – it’s a good thing Gunnar, his rowdy friends, and his hapless parents don’t know what she’s saying. Crusher’s unwilling contact with other creatures forces this habitual loner to come off her high horse a bit and consider other points of view, while still retaining her fresh, don’t-mess-with-me attitude. By the end of the book, the entwined fates of Crusher and Breakfast will come as no surprise to any reader.
This book may well cause young owners of small pets to gulp and re-examine the way they treat their animal companions – but they, and most readers, will cheer Crusher on and relish her eventual well-earned return to freedom and wildness. Highly recommended for kids ages 8 to 12.
Although she refuses out of pride to eat the live mouse that Gunnar lowers into her cage, Crusher decides that the only way to freedom is to get Gunnar to trust her by making nice. She lets Gunnar pick her up and hold her, flicks her tongue sympathetically, hisses at his enemies, and listens to him – and although her attempt at escape fails, she finds herself feeling strangely sympathetic toward this unlikable but pitiable boy. Weirder yet, she bonds with the hyperactive mouse (“Breakfast”) with whom she now shares living quarters and finds herself treating the other captured reptiles, whom she formerly thought of only as food or lesser beings, with respect.
This story is necessarily told from Crusher’s point of view, and her knowing, dry, and sardonic voice is a delight. Her scathing remarks on almost every creature and topic are invariably “overheard” (through reptile telepathy) and remarked upon by her fellow prisoners – it’s a good thing Gunnar, his rowdy friends, and his hapless parents don’t know what she’s saying. Crusher’s unwilling contact with other creatures forces this habitual loner to come off her high horse a bit and consider other points of view, while still retaining her fresh, don’t-mess-with-me attitude. By the end of the book, the entwined fates of Crusher and Breakfast will come as no surprise to any reader.
This book may well cause young owners of small pets to gulp and re-examine the way they treat their animal companions – but they, and most readers, will cheer Crusher on and relish her eventual well-earned return to freedom and wildness. Highly recommended for kids ages 8 to 12.
October 26, 2013
A gem of a story told from the point of view of a captive gopher snake trapped somewhere in the desert by a standard issue disengaged preteen boy. This, my good people, is why we troll garage sales for those unexpected delights.
"Crusher" a female snake, is snatched from her idyllic existence in the dry warmth of the American Southwest to be imprisoned in the dark, chilly bedroom of a young boy. As she takes stock of her situation, she finds herself sympathetic to creatures as diverse as a tarantula, a lizard, a tortoise, a lab mouse bred to serve as her "Breakfast," and to the boy himself.
Do reptiles really communicate telepathically as she demonstrates? Do they really possess deep, intelligent insight into the joys of living and the justice of nature? You'll kind of hope so after reading this fun chapter book that makes you and your young reader think a bit about respect for life on this beautiful earth.
Really outstanding. Newberry people, how do you miss some of these??
"Crusher" a female snake, is snatched from her idyllic existence in the dry warmth of the American Southwest to be imprisoned in the dark, chilly bedroom of a young boy. As she takes stock of her situation, she finds herself sympathetic to creatures as diverse as a tarantula, a lizard, a tortoise, a lab mouse bred to serve as her "Breakfast," and to the boy himself.
Do reptiles really communicate telepathically as she demonstrates? Do they really possess deep, intelligent insight into the joys of living and the justice of nature? You'll kind of hope so after reading this fun chapter book that makes you and your young reader think a bit about respect for life on this beautiful earth.
Really outstanding. Newberry people, how do you miss some of these??
September 17, 2013
I reluctantly picked up this book to read. Snake books really aren't my thing, but I thought that I could read it and tell some of my reptile-loving patrons about this book. Just as I started to get into the book, I came across the words "Bite me." Really? Was that little phrase even necessary. And only 7 pages later, a "dammit." Again...really?! What could have been a great book to recommend to third grader readers is now I book I would NEVER recommend. Why do authors think that cussing is okay in a children's book. Why? Why? Why? It's so infuriating and completely UNNECESSARY!!! Because I feel so strongly about this point, I am giving this book only 1 star. Take out the unnecessary and inappropriate phrases and I will gladly give it 4 and maybe even 5 stars. Just so unnecessary. SMH
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November 5, 2016This is Crusher. He’s a rattlesnake. He’s, like, the coolest pet ever—he will, like, eat and kill stuff if you put it in front of him (especially mice) and he’s VICIOUS! He’ll snap up his meal in a SECOND and kill it with his deadly poison.
Except that Crusher, the vicious, evil, ruthless male rattlesnake is a female GOPHER snake, who is neither venomous NOR poisonous (she kills her prey by constricting them). When Gunnar (the boy who found her, captured her and imprisoned her in a terrarium) drops in a dead mouse, hoping Crusher will eat it, she buries it, hating him more and more each second.
When Gunnar drops a live mouse he has named “Breakfast” in with Crusher, the tiny white mouse suddenly becomes part of Crusher’s escape plan. How are a gopher snake and a small mouse supposed to escape not only a terrarium, but a boy’s house – in order to get back to the wild?
Except that Crusher, the vicious, evil, ruthless male rattlesnake is a female GOPHER snake, who is neither venomous NOR poisonous (she kills her prey by constricting them). When Gunnar (the boy who found her, captured her and imprisoned her in a terrarium) drops in a dead mouse, hoping Crusher will eat it, she buries it, hating him more and more each second.
When Gunnar drops a live mouse he has named “Breakfast” in with Crusher, the tiny white mouse suddenly becomes part of Crusher’s escape plan. How are a gopher snake and a small mouse supposed to escape not only a terrarium, but a boy’s house – in order to get back to the wild?
January 29, 2021
if anyone wants to start a book club about this let me know.
August 8, 2020
This is the story of the capture and imprisonment of a wild gopher snake. The child who captures her, Gunnar, puts her in a small terrarium where she can't stretch to her full length or really even move. Initially she cares about nothing but escape, but over time develops friendships of a sort with her co-prisoners, who would be nothing but food in the wild. She even develops a certain sort of friendship with Gunnar, and with Breakfast, the mouse Gunnar puts in her cage. This is kind of a hard read. Gunnar captures, teases, tortures, neglects, starves, and kills animals for fun. The only contribution of his mostly-absent father is to take the heat lamp from one cage and move it to another, thus killing the lizard who lost the lamp. His mother makes useless, empty threats and caves and gives him whatever he wants. Crusher's journey of getting to know animals that would be nothing but food under normal circumstances, and her perspective on humans, is interesting. And I adored Breakfast, and Crusher's relationship with him.
June 16, 2024
Cute & quick & mostly good for anyone interested but perhaps esp. for boy reluctant readers.
I have to admit though that I got confused and thought I was getting to see Steve Jenkins, author of wonderful picture books like Actual Size, branch out. So I kept looking for more real science. Well, that's obviously totally on me.
Judging the book on its own merits, it had enough science. And some fantasy, and some heartfelt themes. And an absolutely terrible mother. I really worry about how Gunnar is going to turn out.
Oh well. Just, I do recommend reading & discussing it with your child to get the science and the child-rearing straight with them.
Oh, and I have never heard of a vinegarroon. Have you?
I have to admit though that I got confused and thought I was getting to see Steve Jenkins, author of wonderful picture books like Actual Size, branch out. So I kept looking for more real science. Well, that's obviously totally on me.
Judging the book on its own merits, it had enough science. And some fantasy, and some heartfelt themes. And an absolutely terrible mother. I really worry about how Gunnar is going to turn out.
Oh well. Just, I do recommend reading & discussing it with your child to get the science and the child-rearing straight with them.
Oh, and I have never heard of a vinegarroon. Have you?
October 13, 2022
This is a prison story. What’s it like to be taken from your home and held against your will? Will the other prisoners help or hurt you? How do you feel about your jailer? And…do you have a chance of escaping? These are the makings of a great prison drama. But this prisoner is a snake–a gopher snake who is captured and held prisoner as a pet! Did you ever think about it that way? It makes me wonder what my dog is thinking. Anyway, this snake’s life as a prisoner is full of excitement from scaring the math teacher to going on hunger strike. You’ll be rooting for him and his fellow detainees. It’s a really quick read too. I didn’t put it down until I was finished. Warning: some minor characters/animals do die.
March 21, 2021
This is such a cute story, told from the perspective of a gopher snake. Crusher is captured and taken to live in a terrarium at Gunnar’s house. She learns about humans and befriends the mouse meant for her consumption (naming the mouse Breakfast). Weirdly, all reptiles are supposedly able to communicate with each other telepathically. The reader also learns quite a bit about snakes and the other animals in Gunnar’s possession, but it isn’t overly academic. It’s thrown in there in a playful manner. Very well done.
October 4, 2023
This book was a quick read. I enjoyed the author's choice to make Crusher a female and to play with the misconceptions that young boys can have when using masculine terms for animals.
It didn't have too many emotional twists and turns in my opinion, aside from what happens to the lizard (name omitted for spoiler reasons). I enjoyed Crusher's relationship with Breakfast and was interested by her internal conflict surrounding Gunnar.
Overall a fairly simple book. Well paced and short enough for a quick, easy read.
It didn't have too many emotional twists and turns in my opinion, aside from what happens to the lizard (name omitted for spoiler reasons). I enjoyed Crusher's relationship with Breakfast and was interested by her internal conflict surrounding Gunnar.
Overall a fairly simple book. Well paced and short enough for a quick, easy read.
July 19, 2019
A little dry to start, but kept the kids entertained as I read it out loud to them. I was not impressed by the sprinkling of mild language and the indifference/animosity that the parents had towards the main character- their son.
As a logophile I really appreciated the author's choice of words... although I spent a lot of time explaining the definitions to my young listeners. As an educator I also was tickled pink by the addition of facts that were easy to ingest without bogging the story down.
As a logophile I really appreciated the author's choice of words... although I spent a lot of time explaining the definitions to my young listeners. As an educator I also was tickled pink by the addition of facts that were easy to ingest without bogging the story down.
May 7, 2023
This is such a cute story, written from the POV of the snake. I wasn't too excited about reading this book with the young readers in my life due to the whole "snake" and all. I'm so glad I did. The Crusher, the snake, and another little character in the story made me laugh and giggle throughout. I loved the transformation Crusher went through, developing such empathy for the other creatures.
This is a book I'm going to have to add to my bookshelves.
This is a book I'm going to have to add to my bookshelves.
October 13, 2017
This story follows a snake named Crusher and the life after being caught by a little boy. I really enjoyed this book. It opens your eyes to a whole new world, different species, ways of life, friendships, survival and even death. Above all, I think this book teaches some very important life lessons. I would recommend this to everyone and especially for kids that want pets.
April 20, 2020
This was a great book for 3-5th graders who may be beginning to read chapter books. It is a story of friendship in unlikely circumstances. I also really enjoyed that it highlights the correct way to treat animals which is a great lesson for children! I would love to use this as a read aloud in my class!
August 30, 2020
We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes is definitely in my wheelhouse. I loved Crusher as a narrator. The reader gains a little biology knowledge while wondering what will happen to Crusher and the other captive animals. There would be lots to discuss with students concerning screen time, parenting style, and social skills with peers. I think 5th graders will be interested in this short, engaging tale.
January 30, 2020
Gunnar, a wild snake, was obducted by a kid. He was put in a glass box and kept as a pet. What happens when you keep a wild snake as a pet? Read this book to find out how a snake and Breakfast try to escape.
April 8, 2023
It was awful. Our district chose it for the One District, One Book initiative, otherwise we would not have finished it. The animal neglect/abuse, disrespect and disregard of family members, and language used was not enjoyed by this family at all. The story had potential, but was an epic flop.
December 28, 2023
I have so many questions and desperately want to discuss word choice and interpretations. Truly one of the most profound books I’ve ever read…but like this might be saying more about my own mental state
February 3, 2025
I heard about this one from my grandson. A fun book, told from the viewpoint of a gopher snake captured by a young boy. He is living in a cage in the boy's room, and also communicates with a captured turtle and lizard. I really enjoyed it and learned a little bit about gopher snakes also.
April 11, 2019
Omg I loved this book when I read it in grade school. It was so cute and original. I hope I still own it somewhere in my boxes of books hidden away.
January 5, 2020
Great book for 4th graders.
July 10, 2022
This was good. I liked getting a new POV by reading from the view of a snake. I really liked her and her friends. It had some sad moments too.
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