Pacto Matrimonial: Perspectiva Temporal y Eterna

by John Piper

Una parabola de permanencia… Reflexionando sobre cuarenta anos de matrimonio, John Piper enaltece el sentido biblico del matrimonio por encima de la emocion, exhortando a las parejas a mantener su pacto por las razones correctas. Incluso cuando la gente comunmente permanecio casada "hasta que la muerte nos separe," nunca hubo una generacion cuya perspectiva del matrimonio fue lo suficientemente alta, dice el pastor John Piper. Esto es todavia mas cierto en nuestra informal epoca. Comprender el diseno de Dios segun su Palabra puede despertar una gloriosa vision capaz de liberar a todas las personas de perspectivas que ignoran a Cristo y estan intoxicadas por el romance. El matrimonio es fundamentalmente, mas que nada, la obra de Dios. Y, en ultima instancia, el matrimonio es la demostracion de Dios. De una manera mejor que ningun otro evento o institucion, en el matrimonio se muestra al mundo el mantenimiento del pacto de amor entre Cristo y su pueblo. El matrimonio, por lo tanto, no se trata principalmente de estar enamorado. Es, sobre todo, decir la verdad con nuestras vidas. Y permanecer casados no se trata de permanecer enamorados. Se trata de mantener el pacto y demostrar la gloria del amor fiel de Cristo.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Theology, Nonfiction, Christianity, Christian Living, Relationships

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

John Piper is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as senior pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota.

He grew up in Greenville, South Carolina, and studied at Wheaton College, Fuller Theological Seminary (B.D.), and the University of Munich (D.theol.). For six years, he taught Biblical Studies at Bethel College in St. Paul, Minnesota, and in 1980 accepted the call to serve as pastor at Bethlehem.

John is the author of more than 50 books and more than 30 years of his preaching and teaching is available free at desiringGod.org. John and his wife, Noel, have four sons, one daughter, and twelve grandchildren.

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

Reviews

[Jonn Louie Lim · Rating 5 out of 5]

If marriage is such a wonderful gift from God, then why does it cease to exist in heaven? I've asked this question as a child, a teenager, and even up to now, as a young Christian adult, starting to see the beauty of God's design for marriage through the lens of cross. The question is still there, a constant reminder that there's still a major piece of the puzzle that I'm missing in my quest to understand marriage. Why does marriage have to end?

In this book, God has used John Piper to answer this very question, and in doing so he answers not only "Why is there no marriage in heaven?", but also "Why marriage in the first place?". As he draws from Ephesians 5:31-32, John Piper answers the question with:

"the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display. That is why marriage exists. If you are married, that is why you are married. If you hope to be, that should be your dream."

This reminds us that marriage is not mainly about being and staying in love, and a rejects a host of misconceptions, misinterpretations and wrong expectations that we have placed on this sacred institution. After making clear this point, John Piper goes on to show how this correct understanding leads to a better understanding of each other's roles in marriage, (as the husband, or as the wife, or as the father, or as the mother), amidst the trials and conflicts that will no doubt arise. He even includes two chapters dedicated to singles and shows how marriage fits even into our lives.

From knowing the purpose of marriage, a reflection of Christ's covenant love for the church, it gives us an answer to why it doesn't exist in the life to come. As Piper concludes:

"So it is with marriage. It is a momentary gift. It may last a lifetime, or it may be snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short... Very soon the shadow will give way to Reality. The partial will pass into the Perfect... The troubled path will end in Paradise... And this momentary marriage will be swallowed up by Life. Christ will be all and in all. And the purpose of marriage will be complete."

With many of the enemy's schemes targeting this very institution, resulting in the corruption of many aspects of society, it is paramount that we be better guarded according to His word. Knowing the truth of God's design for marriage will better equip us to stand fast, and this book, This Momentary Marriage, is a welcome addition in helping us to understand it.

[Jimmy Reagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This volume (This Momentary Marriage by John Piper) leaves other marriage books in the dust as it rises above the usual 10-steps-to-doing-better approach. It also manages to use Scripture rather than psychology to make its heart-searching message come alive. I must warn you, however, that if you are like me, you might find yourself under enormous conviction.

Notice I didn’t say guilt. I can provide that for myself, can’t you? I refer to spot-on analysis of me with real challenge to seize the Bible ideal of marriage. You always think as you read, no matter the depths of how wrong you are staring you in the face, that through Christ real change is possible. Real work, real following of Christ, but possible.

He chucks the dream world before the introduction is over. He’s been married for 40 years and confesses there have been ups and downs, varying seasons of a marriage that he thanks God for. He makes you see that the “weight of our sin” pushes us this way. Perhaps if we could see that it is the weight of OUR sin that drags us down, not the weight of my spouse’s sin, we could go forward. Reality is a great precursor to progress.

He begins by laying the foundation that the fundamental thing about marriage is that it’s about covenant keeping, and particularly, a testimony of Christ’s faithful covenant keeping with the Church. That necessarily makes Ephesians 5:21-33 shine brighter. He debunks the myth that marriage is mainly about staying in love. That is an emphasis that comes from recent American culture, and no matter how much you enjoy the warm fuzzies of married love (as I do), that is not, and cannot be, the ultimate thing. It’s not enough to withstand crisis, nor to keep a marriage on track when the warm fuzzies become as cold as a stone.

This means it is noble to avoid divorce at all costs. That will not make this book popular in many circles, but it is firmly based in what marriage is. In fact, the reason this is called “momentary marriage” is that it is designed by God from the beginning as a picture of His faithfulness to us that lasts all of life.

Perhaps you say that all of this sounds good, or at least theological, but what about real help for our marriages. That’s the beauty of this book. Take, for example, the chapter on “Forgiving And Forbearing”. He begins by quoting Bonhoeffer:

Don’t insist on your rights, don’t blame each other, don’t judge or condemn each other, don’t find fault with each other, but accept each other as you are, and forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts.

We must forgive. We are sinners–there will be wrongs done. When I forgive it doesn’t mean that I wasn’t wronged. As I thought of this I couldn’t help but think that this in great part comes from my wife giving herself to me. She has never opened up to anyone as she has me. No one else has been with her so often as to see such a variety of situations arise and her reactions good or bad. Familiarity always takes down our guard. Since she is a sinner, this also means that no one on earth knows her faults quite like me. I can tell you what’s wrong with her and probably will peg it right (as she can me). Had she hidden her heart from me, or had she been unreal around me, I wouldn’t know these things, would I? (Don’t misunderstand my point as I am surely twice the sinner she is!)

I can forgive because I need her forgiveness for my own rottenness. Plus, I can forgive because I know how Christ has forgiven me. I mean that is all a one-sided affair, which is not true in my marriage even on my spouse’s worst day. Christ forgave my real guilt. He kept His love, His covenant, when I gave Him thousands of reasons not to do so. Mr. Piper went on to discuss that we even forgive and forbear each other’s strangeness. Our sins even give us our own peculiarities. I’ve often felt sorry for my Alicia as I have far more than the normal quota. As great as she is, she has a few. We must look past these–it ought not be so hard.

Don’t worry, he is balanced. When he explains how the husband pictures Christ, he states that the husband is NOT Christ! The husband should see that role as his call to love her, give himself for her, and die for her. He states that Christ is supreme, but the husband is not. To be honest, his 2 chapters on “Lionhearted and Lamblike”, were a big gut check in life for me. My deficiencies rose up to such a degree I couldn’t escape them. Pray that I can respond to what is now clearer to me.

Men, he argues that the Lord holds us responsible and that is what leadership is all about. He says if the Lord showed up at the door of our homes to discuss our home He would ask, “Where is the man of the house?” Ladies, he doesn’t try to throw it all on you as some marriage books do. He holds you to account, but I think you will find him gentle.

There’s more, but since children have such an impact on marriage, his counsel on “the conquest of anger in father and child” is worth the price of the book. (O great–I was convicted as a husband and a father!)

I don’t know what else to say than this is easily the best book on marriage I have ever read. I will keep it handy the rest of my days.

[Dina Bonilla · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a 25 year old single female, I have had my thoughts of what marriage is and its purpose. To be honest I thought it was only for pleasure, procreation, and served no real purpose beyond that. After reading this book, I understand that not only is marriage God's doing, but it is the display of God. It exists for God's glory--a thought that I never fully understood but now do.

"Marriage is patterned after Christ's covenant relationship to his redeemed people, the church. And therefore, the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display...Christ will never leave his wife. Ever. There may be times of painful distance and tragic backsliding on our part. But Christ keeps his covenant forever. Marriage is a display of that!...It puts the glory of Christ's covenant-keeping love on display."--p. 25.

Before having read this book, I felt that marriage was idolized in Christian circles and as a single person you feel somewhat inadequate. This book does not do that but shows how single and married each have the unique potential to magnify Christ that is not available to the other. Piper sheds light on truths that singles can most understand best.

"1) The truth that the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ, 2) The truth that relationships in Christ are more permanent than relationships in families, 3) The truth that marriage is temporary and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing to all along: Christ and the church--the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face-to-face, 4) The truth that faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life; all other relationships get their final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate; relationship to Christ is." --p. 106

I learned that the gospel of Christ is the foundation for our lives and marriage is a display of that. Christ is Primary. Everything else is secondary. Treasuring Christ is more important than anything that can be offered in this precarious life, and therefore we ought not make secondary things primary. We must understand that secondary things are not guaranteed, but Christ is.

"The beauty of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it....So it is with marriage. It is a momentary gift. It may last a lifetime, or it may be snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short. It may have many bright days or it may be covered with clouds....Very soon the shadow will give way to Reality. The partial will pass into Perfect....And this momentary marriage will be swallowed up by Life. Christ will be all and in all. And the purpose of marriage will be complete."--p. 178

This book has truly challenged my thinking and therefore leaves me changed. I will exalt Christ in my singleness to display the truths of Christ and His Kingdom, and if I do ever marry, I hope that my marriage would be one that is captivated by and is a testament to the covenant-keeping love of Christ.

[Mónica Ortega · Rating 5 out of 5]

Que belleza de libro, que hermosa oportunidad de aprender, el matrimonio, no es solo si acepto y sobrellevar lo que sigue, no es tratar de resolver conflictos para no estar enojados, no es intentar ponernos de acuerdo para salir adelante..... El matrimonio es el reflejo glorioso de la relación de Cristo con su iglesia, y este reflejo llevado a la practica, es el llamado perfecto para cada matrimonio. Si no has cumplido esta parte, este libro es para ti, si estás en el proceso de cumplirlo, reafirma tus convicciones y mírate en el espejo de la palabra de Dios.
Altamente recomendado. Que sea de bendición.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice addition to the collection of Christian books on marriage.

However I was astounded at how repetitive the book was. I didn't do a firm calculation, but I think you could cut out approximately half of the book and all of the content would still remain. I found it extremely tedious for Piper to recap what he just said in the previous chapter, what he just said in the previous paragraph, what he said two chapters ago in case you didn't catch it the first three times...

I also found the book more theological in it's style than pastoral. Certainly there were pastoral/counsel-y elements, but especially at the beginning Piper introduced a plethora of theological concepts. It felt like a skipping stones - the rock only just touches the surface. I didn't want to read a theology of marriage, but it seemed like that's what Piper wanted to write. And this book simply was too short (and the effort wasn't made in that direction) to pull off actually diving into the deep theological aspects.

I found the "practical" sections on singleness, divorce/remarriage the most interesting as those are topics not often addressed when discussion Christian marriage (at least that I've encountered thus far). I liked the Bonhoeffer quotes but sometimes found myself wondering if I should be reading him instead.

Overall, a good addition to the library, but not one I'd see myself recommending to someone looking for their first book on Christian marriage. It introduces too many concepts and doesn't wholly or holistically address the questions that could arise.

[Dkovlak · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very practical book. Is also very good Biblically-based.

[Todd Wilhelm · Rating 4 out of 5]

"So it is with marriage. It is a momentary gift. It may last a lifetime, or it may be snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short. It may have many bright days, or it may be covered with clouds. If we make secondary things primary, we will be embittered at the sorrows we must face. But if we set our face to make of marriage mainly what God designed it to be, no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way. Every one of them will be, not an obstacle to success, but a way to succeed. The beauty of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it.

Very soon the shadow will give way to Reality. The partial will pass into the Perfect. The foretaste will lead to the Banquet. The troubled path will end in Paradise. A hundred candle-lit evenings will come to their consummation in the marriage supper of the Lamb. And this momentary marriage will be swallowed up by Life. Christ will be all and in all. And the purpose of marriage will be complete.

To that end may God give us eyes to see what matters most in this life. May the Holy Spirit, whom he sends, make his crucified and risen Son the supreme Treasure of our lives. And may the Treasure so satisfy our souls that the root of every marriage-destroying impulse is severed. And may the marriage-watching world be captivated by the covenant-keeping love of Christ."

-page 178

[Sophie Hudson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very mixed read. Much of what Piper writes is Biblical and helpful. However, he often applies verses in contexts where there is not evidence to do so (i.e., commenting on the evidence for countries employing female soldiers in a book about marriage (at least that is how I interpreted pg 92)).

This book could have been improved with clear and simple illustrations. Perhaps drawing on his 40 years of marriage? As with much of Piper, I found him making complicated concepts even more complicated. I also struggled with the lack of empathy in his writing - making large statements or calls for change without listening for the readers response.

Not sure if I would recommend the whole book but there were really helpful chapters on divorce and children and a smattering of golden nuggets throughout.
Side note: I do love a short-chapter book.

[Amy Koons · Rating 1 out of 5]

The theological assertions in this book are not new to me but I feel Piper, in his effort to provide practical instruction, makes some illogical assumptions and delves into legalism.

The idea of headship when seen through the lens of Christ, shows us a meek, service-oriented leader, one who is willing to lay down his life for the love and care of others. Why do so many in the church tack on a whole list of other attributes and expectations for what the “head” of a household needs to look like? In this book Piper infers all kinds of things husbands should do, even though those things are not spelled out in scripture. They are merely his opinions. One example: it is the husband who should make sure their daughters’ neck lines are high enough.

Another example: Piper admonishes husbands to be the breadwinner of the family. This is unhelpful at best, and downright demeaning to a lot of people who are in godly marriages and the wife’s paycheck happens to be larger than the husband’s. Does it really matter?

I read Piper’s book on the heels of another marriage book called “9 Thoughts that Can Change Your Marriage” (by Gregoire). After reading that book, where scriptural themes of submission and also husbands being the “spiritual leader” are addressed, I was extremely encouraged by a vision of marital intimacy that is possible in a godly marriage. I also felt Gregoire’s book was extremely practical, without delving into legalism. If you must read Piper’s book, I suggest you also read Gregoire’s book to help balance it out.

[Jack Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on marriage. Perhaps the best one I’ve read thus far. The reason for that is the fact that Piper presents marriage as it ought to be, which is a representation of Christs unconditional, sacrificial love for us. Too many people have wrong views of marriage, whether subtle or blatant, which dictate their approach to the subject. Having a right view of marriage is crucial and Piper does a great job of helping us sort through it all.

[Jacob Lovett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Big fan of covenant keeping

[Julio Padilla Mozo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Este es mi cuarto libro acerca del matrimonio. Este libro nos lleva a una teología (aunque el autor no lo describe así) del matrimonio. Argumentos sólidos sobre lo que el matrimonio conlleva.

Con frases de Bonhoeffer, quien comprometido no pudo llegar a casarse, despliegan principios que todo matrimonio debe tomar en cuenta.

Si el matrimonio no te sacia, debería ser así, sólo Dios puede satisfacer completamente. El matrimonio es la representación del amor que tiene Cristo por su iglesia, gran responsabilidad, exhortación recibida. Tengamos cuidado el matrimonio puede usurpar el lugar que le pertenece a Dios.

El mejor argumento a favor de la soltería y además un gran consuelo y desafío para los divorciados.

El mejor libro, para mí, de lo que va el año. Sí, probablemente sea porque estoy pronto a cumplir un año de casado.

[Autumn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was going to be a 4🌟 book until the last 20-30 minutes where it became a defense on his self-admitted uncommon view of divorce and remarriage. It didn't fit the flow and purpose of the entire book. This book is part of the reading for ACBC's special training on Family and Marriage counseling. I was left scratching my head why it would be included. There were some good reminders about the purpose of marriage and I felt humbly corrected on my often unsubmissive attitude. The war between spirit and flesh is a doozy.

[Bambi Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wish I had read this years ago! This book is applicable to newlyweds, those who have been married for many years, the not-yet-married, the divorced, the widowed. It speaks on a wide variety of issues and the chapter on sexuality in marriage is tastefully done. Also covers some general parenting, and explores the father’s call not to provoke his children to anger. The second half of the book was better than the first. Challenging yet grace-filled teaching on divorce and remarriage.

[Kaylea Smithson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book on marriage that I’ve read thus far in my life. Not only did Piper beautifully articulate marriage but he also addressed singleness better than any author or speaker I’ve ever read/heard.

Piper’s writing on marriage will leave you in awe and wonder at God’s design for marriage while also stirring your heart to long for the marriage supper of the Lamb. Piper did a great job at giving marriage the honor it deserves as an institution given by God without setting it up as an idol. I think everyone should read this book.

More specific takeaways:

Piper says, marriage is “mainly about telling the truth with our lives. It’s about portraying something true about Jesus Christ and the word he relates to his people. It’s about showing in real life the glory of the gospel.”

He presents the idea that there are certain biblical truths that shine more clearly through singles than married couples. In the old covenantal order, God primarily built his people through procreation. Being married and having offspring was of paramount importance for one’s name and inheritance. He points to Isaiah 56:4-5, Isaiah 53:10, and Isaiah 54:1 to say “the new people of God, formed by the Messiah will not be formed by physical procreation but by the atoning death of Christ.” Singles display the gospel truth that the family of Christ grows by regeneration through faith in Jesus.

In addition, their lives demonstrate the permanence of relationships in Christ and temporal nature of biological families. At the coming of Christ, marriages and families will cease to exist, giving way to greater glory and deeper intimacy with both Christ and His body. God continues to give me a deeper love for His body, the church. Prior to reading this book, I did not fully understand the wonder of its eternality. Marriages and family relationships are temporary but the church is everlasting. Piper says, “this is your family (the church) — more deeply and more eternally than your kinfolk.”

There a lot more I could say about this book, but you should read it for yourself.

[Jaime T · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a pretty good book! The first 3 chapters are slow as Piper looks closely at some Scripture to demonstrate how "the meaning of marriage is the display of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his people." I enjoyed how he clearly describes the roles of a husband and wife in headship and submission, conflict management, singleness, sex, parenting, and divorce with not only tons of Scripture but many practical applications. What is most interesting is how he ties each topic to the covenant-keeping love of Christ and the church - creating a high standard and vision for marriage because it should display Jesus's glory in every dimension. "The beauty of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it."

[emma jordan · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars
While I could appreciate it as foundational book on marriage, the writing was distractingly repetitive and cumbersome—each chapter was exactly 10 pages, and most of them could have been consolidated down to about 10 paragraphs. I’m also not a fan of some of Piper’s expository methods, and found myself agreeing with many of his claims, but not with how he used Scripture to get to them.
While this is not a terrible book, there are SO many better options, and I will not be reading, recommending, or using it for discipleship again.

[Kyle Brewer]

I’m not always a fan of Piper’s repetitive rhetorical strategy but I found it helpful in this book. The ultimate meaning of marriage is the representation of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. I need this frequent reminder as I prepare for my own marriage.

Thankful for a thoughtful friend gifting this book :)

[Ken Haak · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was pleasantly surprised by this book. Over the years Piper has been difficult for me to read. I love to hear him preach but reading his books have been a struggle. But this book was rich with truth and practical in insights on the covenant keeping love of Christ displayed in the covenant of marriage. I recommend this book for anyone interested in deepening their understanding of marriage. You would be blessed to read this book.

[haileyyy · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book drastically helped me understand the meaning of marriage! I learned so much about the marital relationship that God designed. It was so powerful to read and understand. It will definitely help me in the future!

[Joshua Garner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant Book. I was fortunate enough to borrow this book from friends, and I am extremely thankful for the impact of this book.

John Piper constantly makes the point that marriage, is about portraying/playing-out the union between Christ and His Church, he speaks about the ultimate goal of marriage being, bringing glory to God by imitating the union between Christ and His Church. Piper also exhorts single Christians to be content in knowing Christ, not necessarily content in their singleness. This I found to be profound as being content in knowing Christ will make one useful to Christ and center all focus on bringing Him glory.

Key take-away from this book was that Marriage is about covenant-keeping, keeping the God-ordained covenant will come with the other benefits of true love, selflessness and a zeal for God's glory.

I definitely recommend this book.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

After seeing a video posted on Desiring God dot org, presenting a couple with a disabled husband and the powerful love of Jesus, I had to read this book. I was not disappointed.

Pastor John Piper writes, "The most foundation thing to see from the Bible about marriage is that it is God's doing. And the ultimate thing to see from the Bible about marriage is that it is for God's glory." (21) Placing these two thoughts together, he draws the conclusion that, "The highest and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display. That is why marriage exists." This is the heart of the book.

Beginning each chapter with a quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Letters and Papers from Prison, John Piper looks through the key texts in the new testament on marriage. He covers topics such as foundations of headship, fearless submission, raising children, singleness, hospitality, and warnings against divorce always coming back to the primary theme - marriage exists to display the covenant-keeping relationship between Christ and the church.

While I enjoyed the whole book, two of the best chapters were actually on singleness (chapters 9 and 10). Is is a shame that these two chapters are housed in a book on marriage, a book that most single people may never think to read. They are worth the read.

Overall, this was a great book! I appreciate John Piper's contagious passion for God's glory in all things. Great read, great book, awesome God!

[Kaylen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helps one to realize their own sin and points to Christ’s ever-amazing, never-changing forgiveness that gives relationship to God despite the consistent failures. This book has encouraged me to take more time in my day-to-day life with others to value, give grace, and love ultimately love them better! As always, Piper leaves you with analogies & stories that you will not forgot!

Some of my notes:

“Living vertically from the grace of God then bending out horizontally in forgiveness and justification toward others.”

“God gets glory when two very different people forge a life of faithfulness in a furnace of affliction by relying on Christ.”


“Sink your roots by faith into the Gospel until you become a more merciful wife/husband/person. Then treat each other out of the tender kindness that flows thereof.”

“Having a ‘quick fuse’ is probably a lack of lowliness and mercy because you respond quickly out of anger rather then having a ‘long fuse’.”

“You do not know what this person will be like in the future. But you do know that, ‘all things will work together for good to this that love God and are chosen by Him’.”

“Marriage is the doing & display of God.”

“Foundations in the gospel are necessary before the positions of husband & wife in marriage can shine.”

[Sally · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love John Piper, and I love God even more! I am grateful for John Piper's ministry, his desire to apply God's Word to our lives and help us live rightly. I found this book very helpful in reminding me that I am a living message to this fallen world. My husband read this book, and said, "He keeps saying the same thing over and over again! 'Marriage is a picture of Christ's relationship to the church.'" Yes, Piper does keep saying that, because we need to understand and remember and embrace that idea. Our earthly marriages are a picture, a parable, of Christ's love for the church and His sacrifice on our behalf. My marriage is to show that, to model sacrificial, covenantal, selfless love for my husband, so that the world will see what love looks like. I have far to go, but I believe with all my heart that God is and will continue to enable me to love my husband rightly. And as we learn to love each other better, we are growing in our understanding of Christ's perfect love for us, and delighting in a taste of heaven, when we shall be known fully by the One Who made us and desires the best for us.

[Kelly Gwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

No marriage book has ever caused me to value the privilege of marriage AND singleness like this book. This is the lens which marriage should be seen through. It is about Christ and the church, and keeping this vision before our eyes will rightly guide all our marriage choices and interactions. Piper also does an amazing job of keeping the church in its rightful place in our lives. The church is eternal, marriage is not, and they both are meant to display the gospel. The perspective was so spot on and I feel like no matter who reads this book (married, single, widowed, divorced) they would come away treasuring their calling and relishing the honor of exalting Christ in their station of life.

[Caroline Rieke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I listened to this book on audio.

I thought it was an excellent book that made me think about marriage’s main purpose, to highlight the relationship between Christ and the church. Sometimes we can think theology isn’t “practical,” but Piper makes it incredibly clear that theology is practical and helps apply the Bible to our everyday lives, and everyday marriages. I didn’t learn a lot of new things per se, but was reminded of true things that helped remind me of marriage’s intent, and help me love and cherish God and Pig more! I love John Piper & his heart for God’s word. Would certainly recommend.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear and warm and not half as John Piper-ish as I was expecting.

A helpful reminder that marriage isn’t primarily about staying in love, but about keeping covenant. It’s the ultimate parable - a flesh-and-blood drama of the greatest mystery: Christ’s unbreakable, costly, passionate love for his people.

Marriage is the display of God and the doing of God. It’s about forgiving sin and forbearing strangeness.

There were some really helpful, clarifying sections on headship and submission which amazingly didn’t make me want to vomit.

My only bugbear was the constant repetition - some sentences were repeated multiple times word-for-word in the same chapter, like a high school student trying to pad out an essay.

[Greg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This Momentary Marriage is different from the other marriage books that I have read. It doesn't deal with as much of the day-to-day, practical issues. There is some of that, but it mostly wants to get our hearts focused on the fact that this marriage is temporary. It will not last into eternity. The main purpose of marriage is to point towards the future union with Christ.

I found this book to be very helpful. When we focus on Jesus and making our marriage glorify him instead of focusing on all the small details of marriage, everything else becomes less important.

There are also 2 great chapters on singleness that I think every Christian should read.

[Erika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why does marriage not exist in heaven? Why do we even have bodies at all?
Marriage is a temporary institution but what it stands for is eternal. Whether married or single, this is a remarkable book.

It is not the love that sustains the marriage but the marriage that sustains the love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Momentary Marriage is not a pragmatic book in that it neither focuses on the benefits of marriage for an individual nor how to make yours better. Rather it reminds the married person that God is the main actor in marriage. Although you decide to marry, God joins you together.
Marriage is not primarily for companionship, convenience, pleasure, or protection. It is for the glory of God. It is for my sanctification.
Marriage is elevated in my mind as a superior status to singleness and this book definitely challenged me there.

My husband and I read this together and then discussed it over pumpkin crunch pancakes, which made the conversation even sweeter.

[Amy Esslinger · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned a lot from Piper’s emphasis on how marriage is a reflection of the gospel and how it’s a means of glorifying Him through selfless, faithful love.

However, A) I didn’t finish the last chapter due to Autumn’s review that I saw. I didn’t think it was profitable considering I don’t believe his view on divorce is biblical. And B) I don’t believe he focused enough on the forgiveness that is found in Christ from past sins. Yes, there may be serious consequences for sin. Yes, there very likely will be hurt from past sins. But it does one no good to dwell on past sins rather than trusting and thanking Christ for His forgiveness and moving forward. I don’t think he emphasized that enough.