Better Single Than Sorry: A No-Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself and Never Settling

by Jen Schefft

Advice, insight, and inspiration for relishing the single life! We live in a country that places an unhealthy emphasis on relationships, yet nearly 50 percent of all American women are single. But does being alone mean you have to be lonely and miserable? Absolutely not. Nobody knows that better than Jen Schefft, who got engaged to a rich and handsome man on TV's The Bachelor , only to break it off after six months—and who later stunned and infuriated viewers nationwide when she turned down the proposals of both finalists on The Bachelorette the following year. But even though she was reviled in the tabloid press and on the Internet, Jen believes it would be a far worse fate to commit to a relationship that was wrong for her. Better Single Than Sorry is an indispensable guide to thriving as a solo in a couples-obsessed culture. In this warm, compassionate, down-to-earth, and empowering book, Jen Schefft has a positive message to impart to millions of sensational single Love yourself . . . and never settle for anything less than everything you deserve.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Relationships

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2007

Reviews

[Mai · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is A Must-Read for single ladies ,this is your guide to never settle and choose your partner wisely .we live in an era where people marry for all the wrong reasons ,wether it is for financial security ,avoiding loneliness ,trying to have children before it too is late or just giving in to the pressure from family ,friends and society which try to convince you that you cant do any better ,no wonder divorce rates are increasing .one of the reasons that women settle is that they choose to ignore the signs and the red flags while dating or at the first stages in relationship .they are so desperate to be in a relationship or just trying to please the people around them that they put up with a lot of dissatisfaction and disappointment.
It is the dream of almost every woman to get married ,have kids and have her own home but while you have this vision of happily ever after ,you have to choose the right person .i can relate to the author and her experience becoz i have got my share of disappointing experiences while trying to find the right person and i choose never to settle .The Author jen schffet was on two reality TV shows ,the bachelor and the bachelorette and she turned down two proposals from handsome and successful men,she refused to settle becoz it didnt feel right to her.it's not about success ,fame ,money or social status ,it just need to feel right like there's chemistry or a spark between you and that person.if we just listen to our intuition and that gut feeling ,we would make all the right choices in life becoz that feeling never lie.
While i searched for jen online ,i found out that she is now married and have two children and good for her that she never settled but waited for the right person to come along ,this gave me hope that the right person will come in the perfect timing .i feel i am on the right track and i owe it to my future children to choose wisely :)
Highly recommend it for women

[Rose Nyoike · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love it

[Brittany · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think it had a lot of good points but I also felt that was a little unrealistic.

[Rouky Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seriously, this book has completely changed my mind about relationships. It is worth reading.

[Manjulaa Devi · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting read that is on the dot in detailing why a woman should not just settle for any man, finding the love of our life without losing our own identities and identifying deal breakers & red flags in a relationship. Excellent thoughts to help reflect on past relationships, how we can improve ourselves in future and to reconnect with our self-worth. Although most of what is written here may be universal truths that we know deep down our hearts, but reading it the way its spelled out so clearly here helps a woman to rethink one’s ways in dealing with relationships.

[Madeline Nixon · Rating 2 out of 5]

So I’ve challenged myself to read all of the Bachelor books and this is the first on my list. I did not enjoy it. It was short and snappy and I read it in a day, but that’s about all I can say positively about it. From the passage that read exactly like Rachel’s freak out in The One Where They All Turn 30, to the somewhat condescending language, to the advice and sentiments that have been repeated a thousand times over for single ladies... Nothing was really unique here. I found the little tidbits of Bachelor details interesting, but other than that...

[Ivy · Rating 3 out of 5]

While kind of encouraging and–emphatizing to single peope–it barely talked about themes I didn't already know. Self-love, high self-esteem, and just having a life as a single woman are the main focus of this book. However, I'm glad to know that Jen Schefft has been married for 10+ years now, 2 years after this book was released. So whatever values she wrote in this book, definitely helped her in the game (w/o really playing games) and find a HVM. 💖

[Carla · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's more of a 2.5 stars. I don't feel any different after reading this book. It's suppose to be a self-help book, but she didn't say anything I didn't already know. There were times where I actually found myself annoyed. It was an okay book, but would I recommend it or re-read it? No.

[Paula Bezark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty useful and empowering book. Only slightly dated.

[tristyn reed · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book was so fun and cute to read and did honestly have some very good advice! wasn’t life changing but i thoroughly enjoyed my time reading it and will be taking most of the messages with me:)

[Megan Hawkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad self-help book, but didn’t really offer up anything we haven’t all heard before. She made some good points that were encouraging and reassuring though. I liked the different points of view she threw in there to help provide perspective, but by the end the book was getting super repetitive. I’m really not sure how she made it over 200 pages long. Honestly though I’m glad I read it, if anything to reassure me that there are other strong single ladies out there just patiently waiting for the right one to come along.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't watch the first season of the Bachelor so I didn't really know anything about the author, Jen Scheft. She was the winner of the first Bachelor and was engaged to Andrew Firestone for a short period after the show ended, then she decided to leave him. After reading this book, I really liked her. I thought she was very honest and real about her dating experiences as well as her decision to leave Firestone and not pick a boyfriend when she did the first Bachelorette show. I've never watched that show either, but I think she followed her head and her heart and this book definitely shows it. It's a great read, especially since this society seems to put a stigma on single 30-something women. The author is single and over 30 and is completely okay with it, because she hasn't compromised herself just to be in a relationship. That's the big lesson here, don't completely give up 100% of your wants/desires/wishes/standards just to be in a relationship; be true to yourself. Granted this is something we should know and not need someone to tell us, but sometimes it's nice to be reminded.

[Sherry · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm still not entirely sure that this book earned three stars. I read this book with a bitter/defensive tone. It sounded like the author wrote the book to publicly defend why she's still single after being on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.

The book made a few good points about dating that I hadn't considered before. One that sticks in my head is: Don't worry about if he likes you, worry about if you like him.

There were many quotes and brief stories from other dating women, a few married women, a few divorced women. After a while they became a little recycled - the same women kept showing up chapter after chapter - and some of them I'm not sure were good examples to use.

I passed the book on to The Captain to see what she thinks of it.

[Belinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is awesome, for someone who is struggling with a break up, from a boyfriend, or a marriage, a divorce, this is an awesome uplift, to help you get back on your feet, and never settle, it's like a best friend in a book, it helped me, and i've learned alot, how to deal with being single again, after separating from a marriage of 13yrs, how to pick myself up, and be strong, and never settle for anything again, my feelings are just as important as anyone elses, and i have to be happy, before i can make someone else happy, and not stay in a relationship because of the kids, cause everyone suffers, get out, move on and find the happiness you deserve, because it's out there, you just have to be strong, and move on, and it all will work out for the best.

[Kami Bee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm happily partnered and so the advice presented in this book is only tangentially relevant to me. I thought it a really worthwhile book though, because it very plainly debunks a lot of things girls in particular believe by default, including my personal favourite: no, it is not a freaking big deal if he leaves the toilet seat up.

The author, formerly on The Bachelor as the 'lucky girl' and then The Bachelorette as the main attraction, is known and apparently vilified for having eventually rejected all of the men presented to her. I always respect the refusal of participants in the show to lie for the sake of the fairy tale, and I respect her even more after having read this book. A quick and uplifting read.

[EllenZReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

A funny, quick and easy read about how to embrace one's single life and not sit around waiting for someone to fulfill all your needs. I really wish I'd read this book 8 years ago when it was first published, I could have used the encouragement to be brave enough to be alone and date on MY terms...to not desperately try to make myself into someone I wasn't, or date someone I didn't like, just to have someone to be with. Well...better late than never, and better single than sorry! I have evolved enough and love myself enough that I no longer feel the need to date just for the sake of dating, and I really love and appreciate my single life (most of the time), so I didn't learn anything new or revelatory from reading this book...I just enjoyed reading it.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book!

I didn't read anything that I didn't know before, but it just solidified to me that there are a bunch of single women out there, and that we shouldn't settle for anything less than we deserve. I think hearing from the women who ended up in relationships that weren't healthy was the most beneficial.

Aside from a few typos in the book, it was well-done. I thought Jen Shefft brought in enough of her personal life and enough from her other friends to make a well-rounded presentation.

Now I will cut out all those lame men who don't meet my criteria!

[Morgue Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I ended up liking this book more than I thought I would. The first half is a bit repetitive, but at the same time I can understand why women would need to have this message of 'it's ok to be single' drilled into their head over and over again before starting to look at the kind of standards to what kind of men they *should* be dating. I already can think of several different women who I know would greatly benefit from this - it's a self-help book that gives some pretty basic advice that you "already know", but for some reason it's really hard to follow at times.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

A friend of mine pointed this book out to me and I have to say...I loved it. I reaffirmed to me what I already knew: as bad as it sometimes feels, I would rather be single than be in the wrong relationship. I take it with a grain of salt, as I would do anything, because there are some aspects I don't fully agree with, but in general I think this book is amazing and is well worth reading for any single woman (or man). She places emphasis on being confident in who you are, in enjoying your life as it is, and on knowing what you want. Highly recommended.

[Ruthie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although this book didn't really have any advice in it I hadn't thought about before, it is nice to hear your thoughts validated by someone else. It's a quick read. My biggest pet peeve is it says at the end that the author did a lot of research for the book and provided a list of books as suggested reading. I could tell a lot of interviews had been done as she references many people. However, I wonder if my book was missing a final page because the suggested reading list only included three books and that doesn't seem extensive to me.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't really say this was an eye-opening read, but it was definitely good to affirm what I already know. Best for 30-something single women, especially if you have a thing for reality TV and The Bachelor, specifically.Jen uses examples from women that she knows and women she interviewed for the book. It reads in a very conversational manner, and has a light tone to it, as if you're chatting with your own group of girlfriends. A fun read.

[Kat · Rating 1 out of 5]

Besides the typos, I did not like this book because it was not the book I was looking for. The title and chapter 1 made me think the book was going to be about enjoying the single life and loving yourself. But in reality it was just about the author talking about her love life on the bachelor while giving dating advice for finding the love of your life and horror stories that will make you want to stay single.

[Arifah]

Enjoying a reading time on Saturday night, alone.

I wish I knew it before I trapped one.

The messege is clear. Being single is not a curse. It's a choice. Stay strong, be happy of what you have, you're the one who complete yourself, party more, travelling with no doubt, and just do whatever you want. Because you own your life.

"The truth is, we know what we're looking for and we must never sell ourselves short," (Schefft, 2007).

[Ashley Monette · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't understand why I enjoy reading self-help books as much as I do. Pretty much all of them say the same things and it's not like what they are saying is revolutionary. I enjoyed this one. I really liked hearing about the authors time on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and I kind of wish she went a little deeper into that particular subject. I liked her research and how many different types of women she interviewed that had been in a variety of relationships.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I agree with some of the other reviewers that this book was a tad repetitive. I did think, however, that it raises some good points about how our society (and therefore we ourselves) look on being single. There is a lot to be said for applauding women who don't settle for just any guy just to be in a relationship! It was a nice "you go girl" that this 30+ single gal did appreciate!

[Brooke · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a cute book, affirming why I am still single. The main idea behind the book is that you should never settle or compromise your needs for a man. If you are not 100% happy and know that a guy meets all of your needs and most of your wants then toss him. I enjoyed reading other women's relationship stories-quite a few I can relate to.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

The famous reality star (Bachulor and Bachelorette), Jen writes about about it isn't wrong to be single. You don't have to be lonely when you are single. You have to love yourself! Practical and easy to read, plus you understand the reasons why she left Andrew and didn't pick either guy on Bachelorette.

[Darlene Buelow · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very well written. It tells you like it is. If you are single, and you don't have self esteem or can't be alone, or act desperate you are going to get poor quality people to date. It shows you what to look for, how to act, and how to get along in life without settling for a mate.

I recommend this one, and I highlighted sections of it for reference.

[Katie]

I learned alot of crap that I wish I had already known...I'd recommend this book to anyone who's dating-which I am not- but this will come in handy for those who are actively dating...and also those who will soon be dating. It taught me to nevver settle for less than what I want and what I deserve, but to never be to picky because you never know who you'll meet that'll sweet you off your feet.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am almost done with this book. I have been reading it, and quoting
it to some of my single friends. She really has a good idea of how it is to be in the single dating world.
I like how in depth she is about how to be picky enough to find a decent guy out there.
I recommend this to any single woman out there!