Pumpkin Teeth

by Tom Cardamone

Let Tom Cardamone lead you into his wicked universe of changelings and mysterious creatures, where a boy transforms into lightning and illuminates his emerging sexuality. Where a man accidentally receives a package meant for his neighbor, a situation complicated by the fact that he lives next door to a Sphinx. A nurse finds herself working in a retirement home for vampires, while in the future a man questions his decision to live life as a manatee. Featuring tales of quiet suburban anomie, to superhero tropes, to intense erotic horror, Pumpkin Teeth spans the range from Palahniuk insanity to Bradburyesque tenderness. Warning, once you are bitten by Pumpkin Teeth, it will not let you go.

A finalist for the 2009 Lambda Literary Award for Best LGBT SF/Fantasy/Horror!

Genres: Horror, Fantasy, Anthologies, Short Stories, LGBT, Gay, Queer

184 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Tom Cardamone’s speculative short fiction has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and a Spectrum award. His work has appeared in various magazines and anthologies like So Fey: Queer Fairy Fiction, Best Gay Fiction, Best Gay Erotica, Best Gay Romance, and Madder Love: Queer Men and the Precincts of Surrealism. He is the author of the erotic fantasy novel, The Werewolves of Central Park and editor of The Lost Library: Gay Fiction Rediscovered.

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aaaaaaaa!

These stories are all over the place.

Many of them go nowhere, then just sort of wither away without really ending.

Others seem to be nothing more than mean-spirited gay porn masquerading as horror. How mean-spirited, you ask? Well, if you really want to know, and you probably DON'T - Meet "Suitcase Sam" a man who has had his legs, arms, eyes, tongue, genitals AND dignity removed, so that he is nothing but two "receptacles" ...great fun at parties, but only if you do A LOT of drugs first...

But then, there are some real gems, namely "Sundowners", a beautiful tale about a woman who goes to work at a retirement home for vampires - simply THE BEST story I have EVER READ about elderly bloodsuckers, AND a post-apocalyptic nightmare about everyone getting their mellows harshed when the calm-inducing, "Lotus Bread" becomes scarce.

So, two out of thirteen stories worth reading here. Wish I'd gone for the Kindle version instead of buying the paperback...

[Rick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really nice, and more than a little bit creepy (good kind of creepy), collection of stories. I've this one for a few years and finally got around to reading it. As with any anthology, some stories were better than others; but on the whole, this was quite good.

But be warned: some of these are among the most disturbing stories I think I've ever read. ;)

[Gerhard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eclectic though uneven collection of short stories from the talented author of Green Thumb, winner of the 2013 Lambda Literary Award for LGBT SF/fantasy/horror. These stories range from eroticism to whimsy to horror – often in a single story.

The standout story for me was the first one, ‘Lightning Capital’. Unfortunately its sexy joie de vivre is not replicated in the subsequent tales, which quickly descend into the disgusting (‘Bottom Feeder’) to the truly grotesque (‘Suitcase Sam’).

For me the story with the most potential was ‘Yolk’, a melancholic story about a man reborn in the body of his lover, experiencing him from the inside out, as it were.

The tone of this collection is difficult to pin down. Best described as Neil Gaiman fused with Clive Barker, it represents interstitial genre fiction at its most transgressive and transcendent.

My only gripe with this Lethe Press edition is the sloppy copy-editing. Well worth reading for fans of the offbeat and weird. Cardamone is definitely a writer to watch.

['Nathan Burgoine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short story collection, which I listened to via Audible, was a wonderful example of a collection of short fiction that shows the range and breadth of a genre without coming across as limited or rote. Tom Cardamone has a way of making the most unique, horrifying, strange, or unreal seem perfectly viable, and in turns these tales will charm, disturb, horrify or amuse.

The downside of an audio collection is not being able to look at the list of titles thereafter, but I will say I was captivated throughout, and more than once took the longer way home to get to the end of a tale before I'd have to turn off my iPod.

River Rat, the boy who rescued lightning, Suitcase Sammies (shudder), parents who may have the last surviving children of an epidemic, and letters from the dead... There is something here for everyone. I do warn you, however, that whatever you expect?

You'll be wrong.

[Jerry L. Wheeler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cardamone’s worlds span an impressive range – from the surrealistic dreamscape of “Yolk” to the post-apocalyptic suburbia of “Lotus Bread” and everywhere in between. You’ll meet a guy who accidentally gets mail for his next door neighbor, a sphinx (“It was about the size of a box of checks,” he says), a man who genetically alters himself into a manatee (“Bottom Feeder”), a homeless girl turned superhero (“River Rat”), and a nurse who works at a retirement home for vampires (“Sundowners”). It’s not just the variety or breadth of ideas that fascinates me in Pumpkin Teeth. What I keep coming back to again and again is their execution. Entertaining ideas and plots are a dime a dozen (well, maybe a quarter a half-dozen), but Cardamone’s writing is so exquisitely right for each one that I swallowed this book whole in the space of a few hours and had to go back and read more carefully to better admire the style. Ray Bradbury (one of my heroes) came to mind, and Cardamone is as adept at blending beauty and oddity as Bradbury ever has been. If you’re interested in going places you might not ordinarily travel or meeting people you won’t run into every day, let Tom Cardamone’s Pumpkin Teeth open your eyes and mind to some beautifully described and defined worlds substantially different from your own. Full review at https://outinprintblog.wordpress.com/...

[Hilcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved Cardamone's story "River Boy" in Labonte's Country Boys: Wild Gay Erotica Anthology when I first read it and both the story and characters stayed with me. I've been looking for something by this author and finally found this collection. I was not disappointed, the writing style is creative and the stories unique. There's horror, fantasy and the exploration of gay sexuality is there at the core. "Tank," & "Suitcase Sam" are two favorite stories. Cardamone finishes some stories and leaves others with ambiguous endings that left this reader thinking and wondering more than once. I'll definitely be re-reading some of them.

[Lizzy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was not expecting the stories contained within to be so strange and unique, and loved every page. Definitely not for the faint of heart and unapologetically queer, the stories inspired me as a creator.

[Leila Anani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pumpkin teeth is an anthology of LGBT short stories mainly with a horror theme - it is an incredibly mixed bag both in terms of the types of story and their quality. We run the gamut from ancient china to a post apocalyptic future with magic realism modern day thrown in.

The one stand out story for me is 'Suitcase Sam' which takes S&M horror to new levels - I was seriously squirming - which is what a good horror story should do. This one's worthy of Bizarro Fiction. It's freaky and downright nasty.

I also loved the lesbian romance mutant super-hero piece of fluff 'River Rat' which was rather fun.

'Sundowners' is Cardamone's take on the vampire - in which we have a nurse working in a vampire geriatric ward - again thumbs up, that was fun.

'Bottom Feeder' was also rather interesting, in which the rich and bored turn themselves into manitees.

Some of the stories however had me either scratching my head in bemusement or going... is that it??? I was particularly disappointed with the Stephen King-esque 'Sick days' - it tells of a couple who have the only healthy children whilst a disease is killing off all the kids in America. Fantastic concept and I was hooked and then it just ended. Mileage for a novel there easily.

Really didn't get 'The Sphinx Next door' - adored the way it was written and the magic realism, but the end was too oblique for me.

A varied anthology that is above everything else, highly original. Even the not so good stories were at least interesting.

[Boxedrobot James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fair cop: I posted this on amazon as well.

Great collection of great work

I first came across Tom's work while dutifully avoiding doing some real work. "Mishima Death Cult" was the first story of his I encountered and I could not stop reading, even while in a crowded meeting. In fact, I've had to go back and re-read it numerous times. It got me hooked, and I was quick to track down the rest of his fiction that was available at the time. Since then he's published "The Werewolves of Central Park," and now this well selected collection of his short fiction. "Suitcase Sam" is another wonderfully constructed story that had me hooked till the last word was savored. Tom takes a number of fictional tropes that I have always enjoyed (i.e., twisted, ironic, bleak, freakish eroticism) and adds new layers of color, substance, and viscera that have seduced me repeatedly. I look forward to his next release, heavy as it will likely be, with the meaty froth of dark prose I've come to crave.

[Jesse · Rating 3 out of 5]

The stories in this collection are eclectic, to say the least, varying from visceral horror to surrealism to elegiac fantasy. And while the stories are well-written, I found that, overall, they were missing that real "it" factor, the "oomph" that really would have solidified them in my mind. Often Cardamone begins with an arresting premise, but he frequently stumbles by closing them with vague, anticlimactic endings that leave me scratching my head more than anything. The best stories in this collection are "Suitcase Sam," a disturbing, Barker-esque account of sadism taken to the extreme; "River Rat," an imaginative and slightly tongue-in-cheek lesbian superhero story; and "The Next Bardo," a sad but creepy exploration into the dregs of a gay past. Good, but not exceptional.

[Craig Laurance · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was finalist for the 2009 Lambda Literary Awards. These wide ranging tales are dark and tender, disturbing and beautiful. From a superhero trope, suburban horror, whimsical fantasy and out and out scary horror, Cardamone is a protean talent.

[Jeffrey Powanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great collection of stories by a gifted writer. Difficult to classify, the collection explores many genres (horror, science fiction, and fantasy), many which touch on LGBT themes, but what elevates the stories beyond genre is the brilliant, lyrical writing. Bravo!

[Dustin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thrilling erotic homo-mysterious creative short stories that leave you pondering.... what’s next? The Chapter: Sick Days reminded me of what’s going on right now with Covid19. I really just have to go with the flow with these stories because they are loosely based in reality and suspension of belief is essential In these. The more I hear his stories the more I get used to his writing, I look forward to what he has in story for us! ;) I keep thinking this writing style is a blend of Junior High, Adult and Sci-Fi erotic thriller.

[Carlos · Rating 2 out of 5]

Cardamone writes strange stories of desire and horror. The collection spans from realism to fantasy and science fiction. In all the stories he writes of gay protagonists, from those at the onset of puberty and the first stirrings of same-sex desire to the jaded have-seen-it-all’s that don’t believe in love anymore and just want to satisfy their lust. He is not afraid of being disturbing in either gore or sex. A unique collection that might not be to everyone’s tastes.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

These stories are weird, gross, and gay. My favorites are River Rat, Royal Catamite, Lightning Capital, and Sundowners. Suitcase Sam is also kind of a favorite but at the same it's not, and it's something I would expect to read from Chuck Palahniuk. This is a collection I will definitely want to read again someday.

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

These are weird, horrific, stories with a gay sensibility that remind me of Ray Bradbury in their lyrical, surreal, quality. They go to darker places that he wouldn’t go and like the collection title suggests, they grab you and don’t let go.
They are unmemorable, though evince a disturbing quality that is projected through a haze. Their horrors are suggested, not literal. Like the very last story, they take you on ruminative dark memories of unexplored pasts and unfinished dreams. No distinctive story stands out; the mood is all that matters.

[Klaus Mattes · Rating 4 out of 5]

13 ziemlich seltsame Geschichten zwischen Horror und Fantasy. Mal sind wir im chinesischen Kaiserreich, mal zeit- und ortlos in einem Eidotter, meistens allerdings an der US-Ostküste (New York, Florida), mehrfach in einem nicht weit entfernten 21. Jahrhundert nach einer apokalyptischen Katastrophe und mitten im Zusammenbruch der Zivilisation.

Nach der ersten Geschichte, die länger ist als die anderen, hat man einen ziemlich falschen Eindruck von dem, was einen hier noch erwartet. In dieser nostalgischen Strandgeschichte aus einem Florida der achtziger Jahre haben wir einen Jungen kennen gelernt, der seinem Freund gesteht, dass, seit ein Blitz ihn fast erschlagen und ein Blitz-Männchen in ihn gefahren ist, er eigentlich zum Blitz verwandelt ist. Der andere Junge führt ihn ins Bad, lockt ihn zu einer erotisch warmen Dusche und sagt: „Lass mich die Wolke sein für den Blitz!“

Warnung, nicht mal mehr ansatzweise ähnlich romantisch wird es ab jetzt. Vielmehr reichlich bedrohlich und gewalttätig. Es ist kein kuscheliges Fantasy-Buch, sondern ein zutiefst beunruhigendes. Die amerikanische Tradition klassischen Horrors zwischen E.A. Poe und Stephen King ist stets nahe. Cardamone will verblüffen mit seinen unglaublich abgefahrenen Einfällen. Die er sehr gemächlich und action-arm aufbaut. Er schleicht sich an, der Leser wird umzingelt und festgenagelt. Die meisten schrecklichen Dinge werden nie in Worte gefasst, sondern so gut vorbereitet, dass der Leser gar nicht mehr umhin kann, sie sich selbst zu denken. Viele Texte streben von der ersten Zeile her einem grotesken Gipfel entgegen, um ihn dann einfach wegzulassen. Wo der noch langsamer seine Show-downs einfädelnde Stephen King am Buchende meistens viel schwächer aufhört, als er mal angefangen hatte, besteht Cardamones Trick darin, die Konsequenzen des Gesagten zu verschweigen, da sie doch schon absehbar geworden sind.

So zum Beispiel in „Mishima Death Cult“, wo ein sexuell herumprobierender Teenager seinen eigenen Todeskult-Kreis aus Jungen und Mädchen gründet, ein Massaker in ihrer Schule vorbereitet, die Revolte und Selbsttötung des schwulen Japaners Mishima zum Vorbild erklärend. Am Ende gibt es kein Massaker, der Protagonist bleibt alleine zurück, wirft zu viele Chems ein und wendet sich mitten in der Nacht seinen Eltern zu. Schnitt und aus.

Tom Cardamone ist ein Stilist und hat eine Vorliebe für seltene, kostbare Wörter, was das Lesen erschwert. Als Bezugsgröße für seinen schwarzen Humor sollte man vielleicht eher Ambrose Bierce als King oder Poe anführen.

Menschen mutieren zu Vampiren oder ein Junge, in einer dystopischen Welt voller Technikschrott, zu einem dreckbeschmierten Feuertänzer wie aus Goldings „Herr der Fliegen“. Auch in diesem Fall schlägt Cardamone schwule bzw. bisexuelle Töne an, jedoch handelt es sich bei den meisten Geschichten um heterosexuelle. Das sollte man vielleicht vorher noch wissen. Auch da könnte uns die Blitzgeschichte vom Anfang täuschen. Nachdem wir durch Covid 19 gegangen sind, dürfte jenes Elterndrama fesseln, bei denen, in einer anfangs ganz gemeinschaftlichen Kleinstadt des ländlichen Amerikas, ein neuer Virus grassiert, dem, nach anfänglichen Migränesymptomen, in kürzester Zeit, massenweise Kinder zum Opfer fallen, während den Erwachsenen nichts passiert – und eben auch, völlig undurchschaubar, wenigen einzelnen Kindern nichts! So ist das mit der Tochter dieses Paars. Die Erzählung kommt aus der Perspektive der Mutter, die geängstigt mitverfolgen muss, dass ihr Mann sich ihr entfremdet und sich immer mehr den Leuten aus dem Ort anschließt, die überraschend feindlich damit umgehen, dass sie alle ihre Kinder verlieren mussten, während dieses eine kleine Mädchen noch am Leben ist.

Der Gedanke, dass schwule Bottoms, die radikal alles für ihre Herren zu geben bereit sind, konsequenterweise irgendwann auf ihre Gliedmaßen verzichten müssten, taucht in gleich zwei dieser Storys auf. Das dürfte wenigstens eine zu viel sein.

[Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

SlashReader: Alright, so truth be told I did not like this book. However, I need to make it clear why because it was not due to the fact that Tom Cardamone was a bad writer. In fact the stories were all very well written and I really did enjoy a couple of them.

Cardamone reminds me a lot of the way Kelly Link writes. Stories that are odd and do not always have a satisfying ending in any sense of the word. So, if you want endings that are endings that make sense don't read this book. Now, this was not the big reason that I disliked this book--though it did put me off a couple of the stories.

The reason that I truly did not like the majority of Pumpkin Teeth, is the fact that Tom Cardamone goes just a little too far for me. Some of the stories are just too far out there and given the lack of a satisfying ending... I simply did not enjoy them. Now that being said, there were a couple of stories in this book that I really did enjoy. Mostly the first one and the last one, 'Lightening Capital', 'LowBear', and 'River Rat'. My all time favorite was 'River Rat', a story of two girls with abnormal powers. I especially enjoyed the absurdity and and the slow play and build up between the two main characters.

So, I guess in the end my thoughts on Cardamone are half and half. The writing is great, I liked some and disliked some--which is on par for a short story collection. I think I would be willing to read more Cardamone though not for a while.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the spirit of Rod Serling's immortal words. "You are about to enter the realm of....."

yes! This is what Tom Cardamone's writing is like to me! He thinks waaay out of the box! The endings???Don't even try to guess them!

I thoroughly loved this anthology of his stories. A taste of Cardamone goes a long way. I finish a story and stare blankly into space. What just happened? I am compelled to read it again.

It is iseasy to fall under the spell of Pumpkin Teeth.

[Liam Ostermann · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed these stories and they are on my list of books to read again - fun, sexy and never disappointing - Cardamone is a very good, if not great writer - but massively better then so many others as to deserve recommendation.

I have just reread my earlier review and I have given another star for his imaginative and quirky tales, which are a great deal more fun, sexy and entertaining then I gave them credit for.

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unusual & imaginative stories, often erotic, mostly in the supernatural fantasy realm, with a couple of excursions into outright horror ("Suitcase Sam") and others just sort of hard to classify (in a good way). Cardemone is real talent to watch. He is the editor of Lost Gay Fiction, which also comes highly recommended.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one more scary mind to be living in... Tom Cardamone is a twisted ticket, and I loved this anthology! Lightning Capital was awesome. The Sphinx Next door was twisted and cool... I think you will like his writings, especially if you like twisted, sometimes scary, and often humorous stories.

[Elizabeth Coleman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written stories. Some disturbing, some provoking, some lacking endings. Definitely worthwhile if you're up for some literary nightmares.