Bendable Learnings

by Don Watson

Blurb - Moving forward from Death Sentence and Weasel Words with an enhanced world class third volume in this series - a benchmark in terms of funny word books.Mission statements are you have to have one, whether you're a Fortune 500 company, a hedge fund, a primary school, a church or a hockey club. Without a mission statement, who would know what your values are, or what your culture is? And how then, going forward, will you get buy-in on your strategy and uptake of your brand?Communication into meaningless sludge. To sound professional, you must express everything in abstract nouns, and each noun in terms of another one; you must talk about synergy and strategy, uptake and outcomes and outputs and inputs, key performance indicators and drivers and customer experience - even if your 'customers' are in fact patients in your hospital. This language is deliberately obscure and falsely scientific; what is more worrying, those who use it have lost the very ability to think clearly.From Don Watson, the author of Death Sentence and Weasel Words, comes this new assortment of noxious management drivel and financial market blather. Read them aloud - then try the exercises. The disease may not yet have run its course, but Watson's acerbic wit restores hope in the power of well-chosen words to entertain and to inspire.

Genres: Nonfiction, Language

Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Watson grew up on a farm in Gippsland, took his undergraduate degree at La Trobe University and a Ph.D at Monash University and was for ten years an academic historian. He wrote three books on Australian history before turning his hand to TV and the stage. For several years he combined writing political satire for the actor Max Gillies with political speeches for the former Premier of Victoria, John Cain.

In 1992 he became Prime Minister Paul Keating's speech-writer and adviser and his best-selling account of those years, Recollections of a Bleeding Heart': Paul Keating Prime Minister, won both the The Age Book of the Year and non-fiction Prizes, the Brisbane Courier Mail Book of the Year, the National Biography Award and the Australian Literary Studies Association's Book of the Year.

In addition to regular books, articles and essays, in recent years he has also written feature films, including The Man Who Sued God, starring Billy Connolly and Judy Davis. His 2001 Quarterly Essay Rabbit Syndrome: Australia and America won the inaugural Alfred Deakin Prize in the Victorian Premier's Literary Awards. Death Sentence, his book about the decay of public language, was also a best seller and won the Australian Booksellers Association Book of the Year. Watson's Dictionary of Weasel Words was published in 2004 and continued to encourage readers to renounce what he perceives to be meaningless corporate and government jargon that is spreading throughout Australia and embrace meaningful, precise language. More recently Watson contributed the preface to a selection of Mark Twain's writings, The Wayward Tourist.

His latest book, American Journeys is a narrative of modern America from Watson's travels in the United States following Hurricane Katrina. It was published by Knopf in 2008 and won both the The Age Book of the Year non-fiction and Book of the Year awards.[4]. It also won the 2008 Walkley Award for the best non-fiction book.

Reviews

[Jennifer (JC-S) · Rating 4 out of 5]

‘Without distinction of speech there is never much distinction of idea.’

`Bendable Learnings' is Don Watson's third book on the theme of management language, following on from `Death Sentence' (2003) and `Watson's Dictionary of Weasel Words' (2004).

Each chapter contains examples of earnest but obtuse phrases taken from particular fields of endeavour including government, education and health. There are also more than enough examples from mission statements and vision statements, from markets and from various musings about strategy to satisfy those interested in or entertained by management-speak. There is also, for those interested, a set of exercises towards the end of the book to reinforce the lessons in each chapter. The irony of this will not be lost on those reading the book.

For myself, I laughed at some inclusions, recognised some, couldn't understand others and wondered how much longer this trend of obscuring meaning could continue. What does this form of expression tell us about those who write it?

Consider:

`But there's always room for future continuous improvement, going forward.'

`Turning right into the carpark is prohibited due to the high risk assessment outcomes'

`Everyone's working to build a synergy downtown, and we're going to need more parking.'

Or the ubiquity of mission statements. These days, everyone needs a mission statement:
`Without one, who would know what your values are, or what your culture is? And how then, going forward, will you get buy-in on your strategy and uptake of your brand?'
Effective communication means that messages are clearly articulated, received and understood. If management language does not constitute effective communication, then what is its purpose? And what does it tell us about the clarity of the thinking of those who use it?

I'd recommend this book to anyone who is interested in management language. There's plenty of amusement here, but also sobering examples of a pseudo-scientific shift in management language which has no relationship to plain English.

What does it mean?

`If you cannot read, this brochure tells you where to get lessons.'

Jennifer Cameron-Smith

[Jenni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Vol. 3 of this series - a benchmark in terms of funny word books.
Mission statements are everywhere: you have to have one, an assortment of noxious management drivel and financial market blather.
Watson's acerbic wit restores hope in the power of well-chosen words to entertain and to inspire.

[Guy Cranswick · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book ought to have a minus million rating because it's comprised of all the worst language and corporate management rubbish. However Watson has done well in creating this masochistic genre.

[Lloyd Downey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. Don Watson takes all the hyped up management jargon about values, strategy, consultants etc and combines it with rather sly headings or subtle introductions to highlight the hypocrisy or the sheer verbiage in most of this. Unfortunately, as a survivor of this sort of environment...most of the listings look very familiar; For example:
Building our People: "Our goal is to deliver each client tangible results , cost effectively. We do this by building our people, our capability and our alliances to effectively leverage our key attribute and in-depth knowledge of recognition, incentive and reward practices.
It is a treasury of jargon. One that I can dip into endlessly. How about this: ICBT: .......Intellectual capacity-building tour.....(The head of the finance committee for the Auckland City Council describes his $30,000 trip to Europe. New Zealand Herald, 12 April 2006).
I could probably add to this from my own experience with instructions from my senior manager to our group to: "fish-hook the opportunities over the gunwales into the opportunity-capture-crucible". I think what was really meant was "pay attention to your clients".
Anyway, very entertaining...and slightly frightening that our communications can be so obtuse and obfuscating. I give it 5 stars.

[Clint · Rating 3 out of 5]

Labours the point, but it's one that needs to be made.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book disappointed me, because it fails to move beyond the catalogue approach of Watson's previous books. Examples of pompous, ambiguous, incoherent and risible communication from the government sector abound and this book is bursting at the seams with them. Nonetheless, there is a growing sense of frustration in this book at the realisation that Watson's lengthy crusade for good writing seems to be having no impact on the perpetrators. In the face of the continuing stream of appalling expression Watson seems unable to respond in a practical manner, In a recent public appearance, he presented as defeated and disheartened, and this mood seems to be reflected in the tone of this book.

[Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

A tongue-in-cheek how-to guide to management language that takes examples of absurd management lingo and exposes them for what they are: aberrations of the English language.

With examples from hundreds of organisations,
Some pearls:
"Values are... the things you value. Except your money. Or any synonym for money. Values, bless them, are never concrete." (44)

[Darren Lott · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good funny read but after awhile it got very frustrating. As I am working in the business world I am very aware of how ridiculous the language is at times.

[Nick Harris · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mostly puff, with tiny rants in-between.