Once upon a time, there lived a young, handsome vampire. This vampire, let's call him Eddie, was a beautiful specimen of manhood, glowing with health and vitality. He was blessed with several superpowers, not the least of which was an ability to attract ordinary-looking, pale-faced teenage vampire wanna-bes. And that was only the least of Eddie's talents. He could also... *gasp*... read minds! He sparkled like a diamond in the sun, he never needed any sleep and he was insanely physically powerful. In short, he was everything that the vampires of the Reformed Vampired Support Group are not.
Yes, welcome to the real world of the vampires. They're not god-like beings with superpowers. They're sad, pathetic immortals clinging to the remnants of their humanity. They have self-imposed rules that prevent them from drinking human blood, lest they infect other people with the vamp infection. They burn to ash in the sunlight, they can be staked, beheaded, and burnt to death, and the worst part is, they're too weak to fight off anyone who wants to attack them in any of the ways listed above. They spend their days raising guinea pigs (to provide their blood supply), being sick as a dog, and watching very many, many soap operas.
I've never met a bunch of vamps more pathetic than the ones from the Reformed Vampires Support Group. So it's strange that I found them kind of... endearing. It's like reading a book about a bunch of cranky, whiny old people, but at least they're cute, whiny, old people. I don't know if this book is listed as a YA book, but if it is, it's grossly misrepresented. Although the story is told from the POV of a fifteen year old vampire who died thrity-six years ago, neither the tone of the book, nor the style of writing is something that would appeal to the average YA reader.
The Reformed Vampires Support Group is a duh! support group for vampires who have decided (or been coerced into deciding) not to drink blood. Fifteen year old Nina, the youngest member of the group, hates being a vampire. So much so that she absolutely fails to see that Dave, a former musician and fellow vampire has been nursing a crush on her since forever. But when one of the group's vampires is staked in his coffin, the group is forced to get off its collective ass and find the 'slayer' in a desperate attempt to preserve their own existence. What follows is several crazy hijinks involving a werewolf, an orange truck, silver bullets and homicidal werewolf-kidnappers.
I don't think RVSG is the best vampire book out there. But I'm not willing to write it off completely, either. It does manage to be funny in parts, and I really like the characters, especially Dave and Nina. All the characters manage to be what the author intended them to be. Sanford is a pretentious, prosy bore. Nina is the still-rebellious teenager frustrated with her situation and itching to get out, without being TSTL. Dave is shy and somewhat sombre, but he is also brave when the situation calls for it. Nina's mother is adorably prickly. Father Ramon is the quietly helpful facilitator who's all priestly without being too preachy.
If you're expecting a flamboyant ride through the world of the vamps, this is not the book for you. None of the characters are flashy, or particularly heroic, or even all that memorable. The romance angle is no angle at all, since it only gets a token acknowledgement in the end. So why does this book still get three stars, you ask. Well, I thought it was cute. That's all. Not spectacular, or fantastic, or horrible, or annoying, or any of those adjectives I generally like to toss around. It's just, plain, cute. Adorable, in fact.
I would be scared of recommending this book to anyone for the simple reason that I can see that it's not a universal-appeal book. It takes some work to get through the book and the pacing is pretty slow. So if you have patience, and no old-people phobias, read this novel. If you want a thrilling, titillating ride, well, you ain't gonna find it here!