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“Powerful, intense, yet ultimately touching. A gripping read.”—Han Nolan, National Book Award–winning author of Dancing on the Edge

A junior ROTC cadet at North Covington High, J.T. is at war—with himself, his enemies, and his past. But no matter how hard he throws himself into the intense demands of the military program, J. T. is unable to escape the traumas of his life. His father died in Desert Storm. His mother was killed in a car accident that J.T. may have caused. After her death, J.T. was placed in a string of bad foster homes.

Haunted by self-doubt, J.T. focuses on his latest assignment at school: whip a new group of recruits into shape so his commanding officer, Sergeant Maddox, will be proud. J.T. has to be the best cadet in Covington County so he can win a scholarship to the Citadel. The rigors of training, combined with his unresolved issues from the past, wreak havoc on J.T.’s mind. J.T.’s last hope may be his new foster dad, who is contending with his own violent past.

360 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2010

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Heath Gibson

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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
Profile Image for Bridget R. Wilson.
1,038 reviews28 followers
July 6, 2010
. T. Tillman knows life is hard. His dad didn't come back from Desert Storm. His mom died in a car accident and he blames himself for it. A series of abusive foster homes have taught J.T. a lesson. Once he was Jason, an average ordinary kid. But as such Jason was weak and got hurt. J.T.'s ROTC training has helped. He suppresses Jason and focuses on his goal--a scholarship to the Citadel. He will be a soldier and make his parents proud.

What I thought: I want to preface my review by saying this is not a book I would normally read. That being said, I'm glad I read it. J.T. is such a complex, confused mess of a character. I stuck with the book to see if he achieved his goal. The writing style in unlike anything I've ever seen. J.T.'s voice is unique--abrupt and clipped, very suited to his soldier mentality. It reminds me a little of the stream of consciousness style so prevalent in Virginia Woolf's work. I think the style along with the short chapters will appeal to reluctant readers. I hate to label books, but this is definitely a boy book. Heath Gibson understands his audience. However, as a female, I also enjoyed the book. My enjoyment stems primarily from J.T. inner psychological struggle. The ending was unexpected. I'm not sure if you can call it resolved. I won't say more than that because I don't want to give it away. I will say I'm just a little disturbed by the ending and its implications for the book as a whole. Now that I know the ending, I want to re-read the book with the ending in mind. J.T. is a compelling character. I was sorry to leave him. If I had to describe the book in one word, I would have to say intense.
Profile Image for Alicia.
8,823 reviews158 followers
October 13, 2012
I was disappointed that I couldn't like the book more. Part of my hangup is the second person narrative and that it draws out the story. J.T.'s story is actually worth reading, abused and ignored in foster care after the premature death of his parents (father in Desert Storm and mother from a car accident after), he has found Mr. Coffeen; a bit older and mature and able to handle J.T.'s issues while not completely understanding some of them.

J.T. uses the regimented ROTC at his school to keep himself "sane", yet at the conclusion, you realize that his friend, Pickens, is actually a figment of his own imagination and much like the ending to Identical by Hopkins and The Fight Club by Palahniuk, the trauma that character experienced before are no match for their minds.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Claire.
1,364 reviews43 followers
January 28, 2010
This is a tough read. Jason's dad died in Iraq- I think Jason may never have met him - do not know why that would be...
His mom dies in a car accident that Jason blames himself about. Now his has been in a string of foster homes that JT crashes through- he has taken on OCD behavior to control his grief and memories of the family JT (Jason died with his family, JT is here now)has lost.
Now he is with a forgiving, gentle man who really wants to help JT work through his problems. Surprise ending!
Profile Image for Nance.
289 reviews
September 25, 2010
Gripping book about a young man struggling with reality and acceptance. Good character; but the psychosis at the end was deeper than I was led to believe as a reader. All other characters are almost too flat.
Profile Image for Jessy.
106 reviews8 followers
February 2, 2011
I honestly don't know how many stars to give this book. Up until literally the last 2 pages, it would have been 3-4 stars, but a dumb and completely out of left field twist had me yelling out loud and made me do a completely 180 on my feelings towards the main character.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews