Buddhism for Mothers of Schoolchildren: Finding Calm in the Chaos of the School Years

by Sarah Napthali

Raising school children is a radically different experience from tending children under the age of five. With children at school, life is both easier and harder and there are very different challenges on the horizon—mothers are often thinking of going back to work, or juggling work–life balance issues. They are questioning what they want out of life, how they want to interact with the world, and creating new definitions for themselves. Children are more demanding too, asking questions, testing boundaries, and beginning to define themselves as separate from their parents. Sarah Napthali explores the distinct issues arising from this phase of motherhood and how Buddhism can play a role in providing answers and direction, in her usual warm, wise, inclusive, and accessible style.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Buddhism, Spirituality

258 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Sarah Napthali is a mother of two young boys who tries to apply Buddhist teachings in her daily life. Her working life has ranged from teaching English as a Second Language and corporate training, to human rights activism and interpreting. Since becoming a mother she has focussed on writing, initially for companies and later for individuals wanting to record their memoirs. With seven memoirs completed, she is also the author of Buddhism for Mothers (Allen & Unwin, 2003) which has sold 54,000 copies around the world and been translated into eight languages to date. Since the children started school, Sarah is very pleased to report that she manages to meditate daily.

from http://www.allenandunwin.com/default....

Reviews

[Penni Russon]

Really glad I read this. I found it immensely clarifying - many of the vague anxieties, doubts and experiences I have been grappling with were beautifully articulated. Probably most useful to me was the notion of being "with" my anger - observing it without judging myself, and being as compassionate and empathetic towards myself as I expect myself to be towards my children. Also, when she said something about adult life being quite lonely at times, I kind of cried a bit cause yeah. It sort of is.

[blueisthenewpink]

Finally, a book that really connects buddhist practices and ideas to everday life. That of mothers of schoolchildren, so maybe my current status is why I got some truly useful knowledge from this one. With just enough repetition to teach the ideas, questions at the end of each chapter to help the reader find how all this relates to her life, this was a great read. I have already used a technique to help the kids with their anxieties. I hope to put more pieces of advice into practice. Highly recommended for all mothers of schoolchildren, and maybe find her other books, if you are in a different situation. Not five stars to steer clear of the extremes, lesson learnt.

[Seawood]

I whizzed through this and want to read it again straight away - it hit me right where I am in my life right now. I love Sarah's style of writing and the sheer kindness that come off the pages is wonderful when you're absolutely run down by the daily round of squabbles and school runs. One I'll come back to over and over, I think.

ETA: The section on "the need to be seen" is absolutely wonderful, by the way. Explains a whole lot of school-gate misery; I wish I'd had this when my eldest started preschool, let alone school! Also I was rather sceptical about loving-kindness meditation, but it does seem to make the world a nicer place. :)

One more thing - the "...and this" way of thinking is a real gem.

[Danni May]

Absolutely loved this. Not only for parenting and motherhood, but even more important a woman. Buddhism and Buddhist teachings just make sense to me and I use them everyday.

[Elyse]

Editing my review because I recently re-read. This book has been great, as my children recently started school. It gives practical and useful advice for school-related issues. When my kids started school, I was immediately overwhelmed with fundraising requests, meetings, gifts for teachers, donation requests, homework, field trips, resolving minor conflicts with teachers/other students, etc - and I know lots of parents who feel similarly. This book helped to put the stresses in perspective, and also offered a lot of pragmatic advice on how to keep this stress from affecting the parent/child relationship. Love.

[jenny scottsmith]

Wonderful

Honest, accessible, practical. Really enjoyed this book, I would recommend it to all parents, even those with no interest in Buddhism. It has helped me relax as a parent.

[Abby Crow]

“Are you a source of love or just looking for it.”

Perfect book for a mother of 11 and 13 year old. So good.

[Toni]

4.5

[Sam]

Fantastic

[Thania Laban]

Dit boek heeft me zeker wat nieuwe inzichten gegeven!

[DaoSummer]

Very practical book about Buddhism and how to apply it to daily life (specially as a mother/parent)
Bedside's book 📖.

[Vicki]

Some much needed insights at just the right times.

[NoBeatenPath]

Sarah Napthali, who has previously authored books about how Buddhist ideas can help Mothers realise happier healthier lives and relationships, now turns to issues that are of interest to Mothers (and Fathers too I would guess) of school aged children. Drawing on both her own experience as a mother of two boys as well as the experiences and writings of both practicing Buddhists and famous writers, Napthali sets out a simple, non-guilt-inducing way of viewing being a Mother and how we relate not only to our children, but the outside world and, probably most importantly, ourselves. For unlike many other parenting books, Napthali focuses very much on how our own thoughts and how we treat ourselves is probably the most important part of being a Mother.
You don't need to be a Buddhist to benefit from reading this book - if you are a parent (or even if you are not a parent but deal with children in your daily life) you are sure to find inspiration and thought-provoking ideas when reading this book.

[Kirsten]

Definitely worth reading, with food for thought. I wouldn't adopt all ideas here, but did find helpful and readable.

[Ro]

This book deals with two interests of mine - raising children and Buddhism. The Buddhist principles I am learning are being reinforced in this book. I like it, but it's not a knock out.

[Amy]

Worth a read, didn't relate to a few sections but there are good life lessons and inspirations throughout

[Sylvie]

Calming. Intimate. Practical.

[Jenny Richards]

this book contains many pearls of wisdom that are easy to put into practice for a happier mother, children & family. Really lived it.

[Sierra]

The book had many wonderful tips on how to live a more Buddhist life. I appreciated how it focused on mothers & what is in our control. A few items were a little vague but overall, beneficial.

[Lisa]

I enjoyed her first book more but this was a worthwhile read too.

[sleeps9hours]

Good book for parents entering this stage.

[Rebecca]

Reread. Love all sarah napthali books.

2016 re-read time!

[Michelle Wanasundera]

Fantastic comforting and practical resource.