Dear Senator: A Memoir by the Daughter of Strom Thurmond

by Essie Mae Washington-Williams, William Stadiem

Breaking nearly eight decades of silence, Essie Mae Washington–Williams comes forward with a story of unique historical magnitude and incredible human drama. Her father, the late Strom Thurmond, was once the nation's leading voice for racial segregation (one of his signature political achievements was his 24–hour filibuster against the Civil Rights Act of 1957, done in the name of saving the South from "mongrelization"). Her mother, however, was a black teenager named Carrie Butler who worked as a maid on the Thurmond family's South Carolina plantation.

Set against the explosively changing times of the civil rights movement, this poignant memoir recalls how she struggled with the discrepancy between the father she knew–one who was financially generous, supportive of her education, even affectionate–and the Old Southern politician, railing against greater racial equality, who refused to acknowledge her publicly. From her richly told narrative, as well as the letters she and Thurmond wrote to each other over the years, emerges a nuanced, fascinating portrait of a father who counseled his daughter about her dreams and goals, and supported her in reaching them–but who was unwilling to break with the values of his Dixiecrat constituents.

With elegance, dignity, and candor, Washington–Williams gives us a chapter of American history as it has never been written before–told in a voice that will be heard and cherished by future generations.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, History, Biography, African American, Biography Memoir, Politics

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 25, 2005

About the author

Essie Mae Washington-Williams was an American educator and author best known for her memoir, Dear Senator: A Memoir by the Daughter of Strom Thurmond. In the book, she revealed that she was the daughter of longtime U.S. Senator Strom Thurmond and Carrie Butler, a Black teenager who had worked as a maid for Thurmond’s family.

Raised by relatives and unaware of her parentage until her teenage years, Washington-Williams went on to earn a college degree and a master’s in education. She built a successful 30-year career as a teacher, married, and raised a family.

Though she kept her father’s identity private for most of her life, she publicly disclosed the relationship in 2003, after Thurmond’s death. Her memoir, published in 2005, was widely acclaimed and nominated for both a National Book Award and a Pulitzer Prize. Through her story, she explored themes of race, identity, family, and the contradictions at the heart of American history.

She passed away in 2013 from natural causes at the age of 87.

Reviews

[Annelisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hmmm. On the one hand, this book has some relevance as a memoir and an historical document. Incidents such as the one involving Strom Thurmond and Carrie Butler were not uncommon across the South, and there were/are many like the author who were/are either the results of such unions, or have heard stories about such. The fact that she is bringing the events of her life to prominence is notable in itself. However, her reaction to and attitude concerning these events are problematic, and this is where the book does not live up to its potential.
As noted in some earlier reviews, there seems to be a lack of emotion and honesty in the book, and I agree wholeheartedly. I understand that people are individuals, and that they interpret certain events differently. However, I felt that Washington-Williams didn't display half of the anger and frustration that one would expect from someone who grew up the way she did. For one thing, she talks about the relationship between her father and mother as if it were a consensual relationship, rather than a coerced one enforced by centuries of racism and the devaluation of Black women and girls' bodies. No, Strom Thurmond did not "love" her mother. The fact remains that this was a 15-year-old girl who had no choice in the matter. The author shows nearly no emotion for her mother at all, nor does she attempt to understand her position. There is no outrage at the fact that a 23-year-old man was preying on a minor, using his privilege to do so.
Another issue is the author's willingness to absorb all aspects of her Southern heritage. No one should be ashamed of who they are, and I believe that they should be made aware of and celebrate all aspects of their culture. No one is asking Ms. Washington-Williams to choose between the two aspects of her identity. But she seems to feel that way, and she keeps asserting that she is "not just" African-American or white, but both. She has also joined the Daughters of the American Revolution and the United Daughters of the Confederacy. My question is, why would she want to be affiliated with these two groups, long representative of overt racism and exclusion? There are other Southern organizations to join that would reflect her heritage but also not be offensive. Furthermore, she states that membership in such organizations via her father has allowed her to trace her family history all the way back, while trying to do the same for her mother presents a brick wall. She's so nonchalant about the latter, unaware (choosing to ignore?) that events orchestrated by her father's ancestors, as well as the larger power structure (which she has joined) have made that brick wall possible.
However, the most glaring and disturbing issue with the book is the way that the author is all too ready to excuse her father for his shameful behavior. Forgiveness is one thing; I have no problem with that. I understand that she wanted her father's love, and all that entailed. I understand that this approach may be her coping device to sort out complex and confusing emotions. I understand that the author was raised in a different time, and carries with her many of the customs from that period. I also understand that the system which permitted her father to act the way he did may have a more profound effect on her psyche than she's willing to admit, and that she may have internalized negative attitudes. That being said, her father still isn't off the hook. Throughout the text, Ms. Washington-Williams constantly recasts her father's character, instead of seeing him for what he really was. A complex human being, to be sure, but also a virulent and unapologetic racist who, despite fathering her, felt that one half of her lineage, with whom he mixed his genetic material, was not worthy of basic human rights and respect, to put it lightly. She tries to rectify this fact by portraying him as a flawed, but generally decent man. Even though she didn't agree with his views on segregation, by supporting him in nearly everything else, she actually substantiates his viewpoint. Whereas she views him sending her mother money a sign of his interest and devotion, it seems obvious to everyone else that it was an attempt to keep his secret that wasn't a secret as covert as possible. She even defended Thurmond against her family members when they told her that they didn't like him, which is more than understandable.
What's even more pitiful is the fact that the author is giving her father the devotion, respect, and admiration that he doesn't really deserve, and which he probably wouldn't have wanted from her in the first place. Most times, the truth presents itself in shades of gray. But there are times when it really is as simple as black and white. The problem is that the author is not, or does not, want to view it this way. With all due respect, I believe that Ms. Washington-Williams has internalized a lot more negativity that she's willing to admit, and it comes off as apologist and self-hating. I feel that she needs to reexamine herself and think truly about what has happened. Is she really so eager to gain her father's acceptance and love, even after his death, that she is willing to whitewash his actions? In this aspect, I feel a little sorry for her, because although she claims that she is at peace, it is obvious that she is still struggling.

[* kyrat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like most people, I was shocked at the posthumous revelation of notorious racist Strom Thurmond's illegitimate daughter.

Like many, I doubted that in Jim Crow South of the 20's & 30's that her mother an underage African American girl financially dependent on the family could actually have a relationship of equals with Strom. Like many others I assumed there was probably some coercion (finanical if not physical force).
I also assumed that he paid the daughter to keep his hypocrisy quiet.

The book taught me not to make assumptions, that the truth is more complex. And the truth was almost sadder and more amazing than my preconceptions. To read that her mother loved Strom hopelessly. To know that she herself felt obligated to keep quiet. I was blown away.

It's also just an interesting story of growing up black in the 30's, 40's and 50's in the North (Pennsylvania and NYC) where there was more 'freedom'. And her time (and reasons for returning) in South Carolina is also compelling reading.

The descriptions of meetings with her father are fascinating. Her descriptions of her father's views of himself are astounding (he honestly did not think he was racist, he claimed he was tring to "help" the blacks (so long as they kept secret). It's these brief glimpses we get into Strom Thurmon'd personal life and views (mediated through his daughter who obviously wants to see her father in the best light) that kept me glued to the book in amazement.

Especially interesting was that I was expecting & almost wanting anger & confrontation on her behalf, so when her husband and children rail at Strom and she defends him or tries to mitigate their anger it is rather heart-wrenching to imagine her position.
I could really empathize with what this woman went through.
And I applaud her for finally coming foward and sharing her story with others.
I highly recommend this.

And let me be clear, this book in no way redeems Strom - in any way. In fact it made me despise him more for his hypocrisy - but Essie's experience is worth the read. And yes, I'd have felt it more cathartic for myself if she'd ever confronted her father - but this is her life and her story to tell...

[Donna’s Book Addiction · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is Essie Mae’s story and a living historic chronicle of the life and times intertwined with her real life situation. Williams's story can be viewed as a tragedy of the American south with its unenlightened prejudices and hypocrisies; but it also can be viewed as a story of family ties, of love and honor. Her restraint and respect for her father in an ugly period of our history--one that included segregation, racism and Jim Crow is incredible, which help to mitigate the harsh realities of her circumstances.

An argument can be made that since her mother, Carrie was in the employ of the Thurmonds, their sex may not have been entirely consentual (much like Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemmings). Strom Thurmond didn't have to do any of the things he chose to do for his mulatto daughter and he risked a lot by making special trips to see Essie Mae and giving her cash. He also can't be blamed for his daughter's long silence. He never told her to not tell anyone. That was Essie Mae's choice alone.

Essie Mae shows herself to be far more forgiving than most other people would be. Accepting her father's shortcomings whilst never agreeing with his policies and ideals but most poignantly of all she proves herself to be a good and loyal daughter, something that Strom Thurmond did not deserve in my opinion.

There is one moment that I had to question in this book. When Essie Mae leaves her children in California to attend her husband, Julius’ funeral. I understand the financial part (help from her father at this time would have been then) but the emotional deprivation of saying goodbye to their father seemed crucial. Still, Washington's story is one of courage, perseverance and grace.

I would have liked to see pictures of her mother, aunt and uncle in “Dear Senator” and she never explains what happens to relatives including her brother Willie, Father/Uncle and Cousin Calvin.

This is an amazing story by Washington of learning to accept and love her father and the legacy of her birth. The story is well written, fascinating and bittersweet to read. This book is not only personal but very factual. This is an interesting historical document. “Dear Senator is written with candor, honesty, sadness and spirit.

[Charlice · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't sure I wanted to read this book. In general, I avoid the pain of reading about slavery and Jim Crow. And as a black woman raised in South Carolina, the revelation of Essie Mae's existence was not news to me. I grew up with the knowledge that Strom Thurmond had a daughter (actually, the rumor was that he had numerous children) by a black woman. As the first African American police officer in Columbia, my grandfather claimed to have directly witnessed Strom Thurmond's amorous forays into the black community. That said, I didn't expect to be surprised, and I was not.

Although I agree with other reviewers that the writing was a bit dull and that it was disappointing to see Essie Mae so readily accept the role into which her father thrust her, I strove throughout the book to be compassionate. I struggled mightily to appreciate her affection for Thurmond, her willingness to accept whatever shred of attention he was willing to pay her rather than not have him in her life at all, her need to read love into his gifts of money and jewelry, her readiness to forgive him for his rabidly segregationist stance during a period when people were dying for black people to simply have the right to sit at lunch counters, and her simmering resentment at being denied the privilege that would have been hers had her mother been white. Until the last two pages, I was prepared to give this book four stars. And then Washington revealed that, as a result of being able to prove her lineage through the Thurmond family, she had joined the Daughters of the American Revolution and the United Daughters of the Confederacy. And she branded as racist anyone who would question her doing so because, as she put it, "I am every bit as white as I am black." Well, no one could deny her that. But I do take strong umbrage at the notion that it is racist to question joining organizations that celebrate the Confederacy in an unqualified fashion. I am not disappointed that she joined because I adhere to any antiquated rules about one drop making you black. I'd rather do away with the entire notion of race. Rather, I am disappointed in any human being who chooses membership in these organizations. If she had justified her membership differently, perhaps on the basis that she was intent on claiming every bit of acknowledgment of her belonging to the Thurmond family that she wanted after spending her entire life in the shadows. Perhaps if she had just said, "I missed out on a lifetime on Southern white privilege, and I'm now going to redress that in any way possible," I'd have said, "Fine. Your choice." But seriously. There are many reasonable objections to the approach these groups take to the celebration of American history. That approach has historically excluded African Americans and has excluded recognition of what the Confederacy meant (and means) to most African Americans, the existence of black Confederate soldiers notwithstanding. That history includes Essie Mae's own mother who, as a few other reviewers have so aptly pointed out, was in a completely powerless position vis a vis Strom Thurmond. To insult her reader on the final page for having well-grounded reservations about the UDC seemed, well, insulting. I had the patience to read page after repetitive page of attempts to rehabilitate the legacy of Strom Thurmond. If you assumed I was open-minded enough to stick with you through that, then give me enough credit not to write me off as a racist because I am not fond of the UDC.

There was also a part of me that wanted to believe Essie Mae's depiction of Strom Thurmond and of his relationship with her mother. But I have a nagging suspicion that she romanticized both. Perhaps it is just too difficult for me to revise my long-held views of the man. Perhaps it is impossible for me to divorce my perspective on his relationship with Washington's mother from the oppressive context in which it occurred. Whatever the case, I just could not buy it. But I certainly get why Washington needed to make sense of it that way, accurate or not. And she did plant a seed of doubt in my mind. She did make me consider that Thurmond was more complex than I ever would have imagined and to consider that he was, in a sense, bound and gagged by the same system that he so vociferously defended. Thanks to that food for thought, I suppose it was a worthwhile read.

[Steve Piacente · Rating 4 out of 5]

As the first reporter to see Strom Thurmond after the death of his 22-year-old daughter in 1993, I got a different look at the one-time presidential candidate who vowed there weren’t enough “troops in the Army to force the Southern people to break down Segregation and admit the Negro race into our theaters, into our swimming pools, into our homes and into our churches.”

We met that day in his Senate office. He was coming off cataract surgery and, combined with Nancy Moore Thurmond’s death at the hands of a drunk driver, looked and sounded awful. His eyes were swollen; his voice was barely a whisper. I expected nothing more. The man was not only crushed; he was in his nineties.

I also thought the interview was about Thurmond’s oldest daughter. Little did I know that there was actually an older daughter, one he’d fathered years earlier (at age 22) with a black woman who had been a maid in his family’s home. There had been rumors, but nothing was ever proven.

No, Essie Mae Washington-Williams kept quiet until 2003 after Thurmond died that year with one of the most improbable secrets in modern politics still intact. Then she came forward at a press conference in Columbia. All of it was true. “At last I feel free,” she said.

“Dear Senator: A Memoir by the Daughter of Strom Thurmond,” written by William Stadiem, followed in 2005. This is the full story from the point of view of a daughter who could never be seen in public with her father, and who willingly stayed quiet about their relationship. They met occasionally. He was interested in her and her children – his biracial grandchildren – but never called her daughter, even in private. Hugs were rare as moon landings. Her mother was 16 when she became pregnant with Thurmond’s daughter, and Essie Mae was 16 when she first learned about and met her real father.

The book is well written and painful to read. Thurmond provided for his daughter and her family, an act many have written off as hush money. Essie Mae rationalizes much of Thurmond’s behavior in a way that her first husband, and children, who came along in a different era, could not.

The story is also frustrating, as readers want answers that are not forthcoming. Essie Mae, who died in 2013, never put the hardest questions directly to the senator, not that she would have gotten any satisfactory answers. Part of that was Thurmond’s make-up, which did not include expansive discussion of his innermost feelings.

I asked many times over the 10 years I covered him as correspondent for the Charleston, S.C. paper about regrets he may have harbored. He was coming closer to the end, and I thought he might want to try to make amends. The closest I got was that he “may have said some things I don’t agree with now.”

“Dear Senator” is worth reading. Just don’t expect much explanation beyond, that’s the way things were at the time. Four stars.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

I wanted to give this more stars, because I wanted to like it more. Maybe I was expecting too much, or maybe I was just put off by the writing, but it just didn't resonate with me the way I thought it would.

I think I was expecting more honesty, frustration, anger, disappointment - emotion - than what the reader gets. It couldn't have been easy for her, having her world turned upside-down one lazy afternoon, and then watching it get flipped inside out when she's told her father is white. But, the thing is - there's no emotion in the telling.

Essie-Mae grew up in a turbulent environment. She talks about her first encounter with prejudice, her realization that her friendships with the white kids would forever be altered, and her seemingly unreachable dreams of becoming a career woman. But there was no fire in any of these stories.

She says she was "disgusted" after hearing about what happened to Zack Walker, and "curious" when she found out about Carrie Butler. The only reason I know that is because it's written, "I felt even more disgusted..." and "...curious beyond the bounds of discreet behavior."

I don't think I'm explaining my beef with this book very well. I think the best way I could describe it would be like this:

Essie-May spent so many pages of this book telling the reader how disappointed she was that Thurmond never took her out for dinner, never asked after her mother, never inquired about her husband and children - things you'd expect of a father. It's always written that way, something like, "I was disappointed that he called them 'your children', instead of 'my grandchildren'." Paragraphs and paragraphs were devoted to how Strom Thurmond never acted like the absent father he was.

Yet, when her husband, the great love of her life, passed away, the reader got one paragraph, and sentences like, "poor, poor Julius" and "What a tragedy." That's what I'm talking about. Her husband passes and she drops a "what a tragedy" on the reader. I didn't know whether to laugh or be offended for Julius.

I found I couldn't believe that she never got upset with Thurmond, and that she didn't see his continual monetary support as "hush money", even just a little. I can't believe that someone as idealistic as her, as impassioned about people and family would have sat on the sidelines, not judging Thurmond's political antics, especially when he opened fire on her people.

Anyway, the most enjoyable parts were her perspective into the changing world, how these events changed her life. Maybe she's just feeling super benevolent because Thurmond's no longer with us, and because she's finally being recognized as one of his children. At any rate, this wasn't nearly as good a read as I had hoped it'd be, but at least it wasn't flat-out terrible.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been curious about this woman since 2003 when the news exploded… and explode it did.

The book tells the story of her parents, who who they were, her understanding of her mother, how her “relationship” with her father grew and how she, and the rest of the family, kept their secret.

Like most children, Essie Mae wanted to be loved and grow up in a home with both parents. She grew up intimidated by her parents and wanted them to love her. Not rocking the boat with questions was her modus operandi.

There is more to this book than the family secret. She defines the times. From a child’s eye view she shows her growing awareness of race. She notes the differences of 1930’s north and south in her trip from her home in Pennsylvania to South Carolina. She defines pre-WWII campus life at her all Black college in SC. She shows the situation of her husband, educated as a lawyer, who cannot find paying clients. The family travels west where he gets a laboring job. Envelopes of cash (that sometimes arrive in strange ways) from the Senator keep the family afloat which, in addition to her father’s politics, are a problem in spousal dynamics.

The stories of her meetings with her father are striking for their coldness. Never is her mother mentioned. They shake hands. He talks about his war experiences. He gives diet and health recommendations (he was into fitness). He spouts anti-communism and states rights sound bites. He encourages her to get an education. She learns about him and his (i.e. their) family in the news, not from him.

She shows a non-racist side of him. He believed in education for all. Later in life he toned down (maybe in response to her tepid critique of his speeches) his segregation rhetoric and appointed Blacks to good positions. There is, too, her belief that her parents loved each other. Her mother was 15 at the time and probably in love like teenagers can be obsessed with celebrities. They may have drifted apart (we'll never know the real story). Her mother died at 35 (maybe carrying a torch), but he never abandoned Essie Mae.

I was not surprised that after exposing her lineage, she joined the Daughters of the Confederacy. She surely understood its history. I think her membership may the psychological pull of not being part of her father’s side of the family. She wanted to belong, and paid dearly for shards of acceptance. The Thurman family door was not wide open and this group, trying to rebuild its image, most likely welcomed her with fanfare.

There are thousands (maybe hundreds of thousands) of people who, like Essie Mae, are living with a past denial or open secret based on race. I’d like to see a a book of Studs Turkel style interviews of mixed race adults describing their lives separated from their families by race and how they lived with this type of family secret.

[Alisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

A memoir full of conflicting feelings and actions told with amazing personal grace. Strom Thurmond was the longest serving Senator when he retired at the age of 100, and easily one of the most controversial figures over the course of his career. Many remember him as a staunch segregationist. Which makes the circumstances of this book all the more confounding - the author is his daughter, who was the product of an affair he had as a very young man with his family's black maid. Essie Mae grew up in the early years of her life thinking that the two people who raised her were her parents. She was being raised by her mother's sister and her husband. Surprise! This discovery was dropped on her in the most unusual way, first by her mother, and eventually her mother introduced her to the man who was her biological father, the Senator. This book tells the story of Essie Mae's discovery of her unusual family lineage, her eventual relationship with her father, how she kept it a secret until after his passing, and her reconciling of her feelings throughout the course of her life. Strom Thurmond's politics always made my stomach turn and this book did not endear him to me at all, despite the generous forgiveness bestowed on him by Essie Mae. Even though I read the book, I am still trying to imagine how she came to terms with her feelings and her father. Remarkable.

[David Ward · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dear Senator: A Memoir by the Daughter of Strom Thurmond by Essie Mae Washington-Williams (Regan Books 2005) (Biography). Strom Thurmond was a powerful U.S. Senator from South Carolina and a former governor of the state as well. He was a senior statesman in the battle against civil rights in the South. He died at the age of one hundred in 2003. He was married twice; he married at the age of forty-four and was widowed thirteen years later. He and his first wife had no children. Thurmond married for the second time at the age of sixty-six. His second wife was twenty-two at the time of their marriage. They had four children, the first of whom was born in 1971.
Six months after Strom Thurmond's death, Essie Mae Washington-Williams came forward to publicly announce that she was Thurmond's daughter. Ms. Washington-Williams' mother had been a housekeeper for Strom Thurmond's parents; she became pregnant with Thurmond's first child at the age of sixteen and gave birth to Essie Mae Washington on October 12, 1925.
Ms. Williams received some financial support from the Senator during his lifetime, and she generally saw him at least once per year. However, he never publicly acknowledged his daughter's existence during his lifetime. Less than a year after his death, Ms. Washington-Williams spoke out about her birthright.
One thing is for sure: Ms. Essie Mae Washington-Williams is an exceptionally tolerant and forgiving woman. If there was ever an author who deserved to draft a poison-pen tell-all, it is this author. However, she has foregone the opportunity to spill. May we all be so forgiving. My rating: 7/10, finished 3/28/16.

[Kara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the book. It provided a refresher on some important history. The memoir was a little repetitive and shallow. The extent of Essie Mae Washington's self reflection and analysis was repeating and accepting that she wanted to be included--publicy and otherwise--in Strom's life, but she understood why she couldn't. In the end, of course, her existance did become public. But I was looking for a little more introspection into what it meant for her to be bi-racial, bi-cultural. She talked about how she is both slave and slaver owner and how she joined the organization, Daughters of the Confederacy, but her analysis remained fairly superficial. I wanted her to be more political, more angry, more in-your-face-strom, but she wasnt. Then i realized that perhaps it wasn't fair to make those demands on her. But that lead me to want her to talk more about how she reconciled her position as his daughter and precisely why she did not hold him accountable--more than just "that's the way it is in the south." And I don't think she was the best writer. Having this said, I did enjoy the book. It gave me some insight into Southern Politics and at the end when strom dies i ALMOST cried. WTF? Maybe there's a little bit of essie mae acceptance in me after all.

[Aprylle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well this book was certainly an interesting story, and it did give some unique insight into a side of Strom Thurmond of which I was unaware. It seemed like the author struggled, admittedly so, with her opinions of her father. On one hand she deplored his politics, and hated how he never officially acknowledged her or that she was his daughter. On the other hand, she consistently looked for reasons to excuse his racist ideologies.

Other than that, the writing was not great, it was very colloquial. I imagine that makes it easy to read for certain types, but I expected more from someone who professed to be so well read and intellectual.

Overall, the story is compelling, but some tidbits of her life were just plain boring. There's no way she would have been able to write a book without this claim to fame. Reading about segregation and her relationship with Thurmand was what was most interesting. Others have had similar stories.

[Delmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was about Strom Thurmond, a strict segregationist who fathered a daughter with a black woman and never acknowledged her publicly, even though he met with her secretly and gave her money for herself and her family over the years. Even when he had his own family, he continued to see his daughter "on the side", lest his political career would have been ruined. What a hypocrite. Still, it was good to see how she dealt with it. I would have sung like a canary.

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paints a surprisingly complex portrait of a man I always assumed hated black people.

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this memoir to be extremely interesting. No fiction writer could have dreamed of all the plot twists this story of complex characters living through difficult times portrays. I love the honest and straightforward way Essie Mae tells her story, then how she backs away from making the moral judgements so that the reader can decide alone who was in the right.

All of the main people portrayed in this book are done so as complex characters. I can see why some (many?) African-Americans would rate this book poorly. Many would want to see Strom Thurmond portrayed as a shallow, two-penny villain, and would demand Essie Mae angrily set him straight and tell him what for. They might want a melodrama so that they can feel angry. Instead, we are given a rich, deep portrayal of a complex relationship. Essie Mae does not provide shallow gratification for self-righteous, militantly angry readers.

These critics might also forget or ignore the fact that Essie Mae is half white. Despite identifying most of her life as black, by the end of her life when she is writing this account of her relationship with her father, she has learned to embrace her white half and no longer considers herself as simply African-American. She can not be classified as a sell-out to her race since African-American is only half her identity. I don't think anyone who writes as honestly as this sells out anything anyway.

The reality of life and relationships is that they are complex, especially those formed over a long period of time and under unique circumstances. The relationships between Strom and Essie Mae's mother as well as between Strom and Essie Mae herself are portrayed convincingly (for me) as ones of love based on two-way purely consensual relationships in both cases. Hard-hearted cynics with axes to grind are going to want to believe otherwise, but the text is explicit on this point, and I find Essie Mae's account convincing. To believe their relationships were based on money rather than love requires cynics to bring their own baggage into the story in order to read it the way they prefer.

One of the things I most appreciated about the book were the many powerful local history lessons, some of which, like the lynchings, have been long forgotten. I live in South Carolina, very close to many of the settings of the scenes Essie Mae describes. Aiken, Edgefield, Orangeburg, they are all less than an hour's drive. No South Carolina history book will picture the history of South Carolina the way Essie Mae has, certainly not the textbooks of the public school system. However, what emerges from her account seems a truer and more helpful account of what really happened in this part of the country, why it did, and how all people concerned felt about it. Pitchfork Ben Tillman, Calhoun, and all the other key figures of South Carolina history are portrayed from a unique and honest perspective in this book. There are too few histories like this one being written today, histories that talk about the people, how they lived, what they cared about, how they felt about events, what their hopes, dreams, and aspirations were. I wish there were more books like this one.

[Nandi Crawford · Rating 5 out of 5]

To say upon hearing that Strom Thurmond had an African American illegitimate daughter was simply mind boggling. How can you say you want rights for only one set of people yet in your private life do another? seem contradictary to me and I was glad that the author brought it up as well in her book. As far back as the late 1940s when the author was attending South Carolina State College,(paid of course by her father), Ebony has known about the story of this woman, but not until after Senator Thurmond's passing in 2003, did his daughter come forward and tell her story. Ebony did a featured story on her, as well as showed pictures of her, her kids and grandkids. Also, although I initially didn't read it there and someone else pointed it out to me, it seemed as though Essie Mae's mother and the Senator continued their relationship long after Essie Mae was born. And come to find out that his other children did claim and consider her family so I am glad for that. Very interesting story

[Anita · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the author's story fascinating and sad. She showed such character through her very complicated childhood and then adulthood. I have to admit that I was surprised by the support and tenderness that Senator Thurmond showed his "secret daughter", albeit behind closed doors. In some ways it makes his racist policy-making even more despicable. I couldn't help but wonder if Essie Mae had been born today, a more open relationship with her father might have been possible. I guess I always assumed he had sworn her to secrecy and it surprised me that this was not the case. If you have read this or if you decide to read it, please let me know - I'd love to discuss it.

[I Be Reading · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was fairly good, although in a weird way, I wish it was written by someone other than Mrs. Williams because I think an outsider might be more honest about this whole situation. She seemed to challenge her father on his extremely racist viewpoints once or twice, but she also definitely left a lot of things unsaid or chose not to discuss them at all in order to maintain the relationship (and possibly the financial benefits). She was also a woman of a certain era and perhaps it’s unrealistic to expect that she would have really confronted him.

But overall, it was a good read and this story is hopefully included in any definitive book about her racist father.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a quick read. It was amazing to me that the secret lived on for over 60 years. Essie Mae is very clear that she kept the secret, especially after Strom Thurmond became an extreme racist and white supremecist. He did help her financially but never acknowledged her as his daughter, although there were several times when Essie Mae was able to feel how much he loved her mother. A very sad story of how attitudes in the south controlled three people's lives.

[Carolina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was disappointed in Ms. Washington-Williams's interview on 60 minutes when this story broke, as she seemed very protective and defensive of Strom. She redeems herself in this book. This book reads like a who's who of South Carolina racist politics. It will make me look twice into the namesakes of the roads, schools, establishments, etc. in the towns that surround me here in South Carolina. Highly recommended reading.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, how do you live with the secret that your father is one of the most Racist men in America and you are his mixed race daughter. How do you establish a relationship, long for the love and attention that only a father can give a daughter. How do you tell friends and your husband this is the man who's bloodline you carry. great read.

[Mary Frances · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting read. I find nothing to admire about Strom Thurmond, but this book at least humanized him a bit. What I think is more interesting is the author's view of her father- hurt and yet strangely admiring. As a window into a life formed before the progress of the civil rights movement, it fascinated me. Nit terrifically well-written, but still worth a read.

[Marianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! This lady has done her research on South Carolina history and made her story of being the rather unacknowledged daughter of former Senator Strom Thurmond a winner. Race relations would be improved if everyone read this book.

[Dee Dee G · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a well known/not known secret in South Carolina. I had always heard the rumor of Strom Thurmond having a black daughter while I was growing up here in the black community. I meant to read this book when it first came out. Mrs. Williams had an incredible secret to hold for so many years. That’s a big secret for anyone to keep. She gives a lot of details about her relationship with Thurmond as well how she found out that he was her father. Short book full of history. I wish there were pictures included. Still a good book. I’m sure there are many more stories out there like this one.

[Adam Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Senator: A Memoir by the Daughter of Strom Thurmond was an interesting and complex read that challenged my understanding of identity. It really embodies the idea that “the sins of the parent fall on the child.” What struck me most was that, despite who Ms. William’s father was, she loved him deeply. That’s something I sometimes struggle to process, yet I can also understand it in a way. Overall, a very powerful and compelling read.

[Carla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very well written story of Essie Mae Washington-Williams who is the daughter of Strom Thurmond, and her upbringing, finding out her parentage, her coming out about being his daughter after his death, and her descendants. What an eloquent writer, and most interesting lady! Never angry, or bitter about her Father not being physically affectionate with her, or for that matter acknowledging her other than as a bright young woman, they had an unusual relationship. Imagine the authoritarian voice of segregation and denial of civil rights for black peoples and having a biracial daughter? He stood behind his constituents and yet wrote letters to his daughter and gave her money for her education. Essie Mae struggled with the man who was her father, and the man who was the voice of the South. Great enlightening read.

[Carlainya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating! Definitely worth the read, great historical details as well.

[Bliss · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am thankful to the late Mrs. Washington-Williams for undertaking the difficult task of allowing us to glimpse her life.

We all have our own issues to deal with our lifetimes. Some are worse than others. I know my own and can only imagine those that lie deep within others, so deep that they dare not share with anyone.

I respect the anguish and turmoil that the author shared, as well as her joys.

What is it like to learn that the people you thought were your parents are not?

How is a woman's psyche affected when she is denied fulfillment of the desire to have a close relationship with her biological mother?

How does it feel for a young woman to grow into adulthood knowing her father is a man who keeps her existence pushed into a back corner of a dark closet?

Of course Mrs. Washington-Williams is not the first woman -- nor will she be the last -- who has these types of obstacles in her life. But her "accident of birth" is what makes her story unique.

As much as I enjoyed reading about her life, her emotions, her assessment of the actions of those around her, I also enjoyed reading the many historical facts about the cities she lived in and visited, Strom Thurmond, the United States...

[Cedric · Rating 4 out of 5]

A truly fascinating book. Washington-Williams is very critical of her father, but also every forgiving, even uncomfortably so. It's interesting how many older black people seem to harbor less resentment about their much more horrible treatment than we do as members of the generations they paved the way for-I've experienced this with my own parents. I believe this phenomenon to be a product of our Christianity. Add to that all the money he gave her over the years, and you arguably have a well-pacified protagonist here.

I have to say-Washington-Williams certainly reveals him to be a more complex individual than the one I think nearly all of us believe him to be from his "segregation today, segregation tomorrow" speeches. I went down all types of Thurmond rabbit holes reading this book, including reading the text of the 1947 inauguration address she attended. Thurmond specifically addresses South Carolina's educational woes, attributing its near or at bottom rankings in education to the "low level of education among the Negro" (who's to blame for that?) He had been the former supervisor for education in Edgefield County, SC, and was an advocate as governor for better (separate) facilities for blacks. He offered black teachers overtime pay (well, $1 dollar I day, I believe it was) for staying late to tutor kids. There was good reason for Ms. Washington-Williams to think he'd be a relatively "liberal" southern governor-he'd been a FDR supporter. But when Truman moved to integrate the military and create a civil rights division in the Dept. of Justice, the redneck in him jumped out. Or as he'd say-the "states' rights advocate." He nearly cost Truman the '48 election by accepting the breakaway "Dixiecrat" States' Rights Party presidential nomination and taking 5 states with him. Washington-Williams relates that she and most Blacks in the state were stunned.

Like many white conservatives, he believed himself to be worthy of credit for his acts of generosity to individual blacks while voting to perpetuate the effects of a racist history-which created the need for his charity. A recommendation letter here or a little graduation money there isn't a health care guarantee or an increased minimum wage. He was a conservative Republican, and the net effect of Republican economic policy, even when it is isn't intended, is the entrenchment of white economic supremacy. Ms. Washington-Williams at times seems to realize that he's a political detriment to black people, but tends to temper her criticism with some personal anecdote that humanizes him. She genuinely seems to love him, and I'd argue he gives her reason to. There's a very legitimate argument that she has every right to get out of him what he's given to the white kids he had (by a woman a third his age.) Why be a secret love child AND struggle financially? Perhaps it's not saying much as he was a man of means, but in this respect he did a lot better than some fathers do by "outside kids."

Ms. Washington-Williams has a theory here that may be, in some significant respect, responsible for Thurmond's post-Civil Rights Era mellowing out (relatively speaking, of course). He was the first of the Dixiecrats-turned-Republican to hire a black staffer (Thomas Moss). I came across articles from the late 90s where black people including Jim Clyburn gave him credit for his constituent services. Moss worked for him for 30 years, and black people felt they got results out of Thurmond through Moss for HBCUs in particular as well as other issues. He reportedly got upwards of 20% of the black vote in some of his reelection campaigns. Even before his evolution, one might argue that he was slightly less racist than the typical SC Democrat of his day-some have said the one race Thurmond lost for Senate in 1950, before his legendary write-in win for Senate in '56, was due to his appointment of a Black man to the state medical board when he was governor. He'd denounced white men after a Black man had been lynched, having been dragged out of jail after allegedly killing a white man, and called their acquittal a fraud. (I knew none of this before taking on this book-took me forever to read what is really a quickie due to me googling all the names I didn't know.) Washington-Williams relates challenging his racial views frequently, and that he had a lot less venom for her behind closed doors than he did for blacks in public. In fact, in these intimate moments, she says he encouraged her to speak her mind.

Washington-Williams is frequently what I can best describe as, well...a trip. She proudly informs us that she is a member of the United Daughters of the Confederacy and Daughters of the American Revolution-she feels entitled to a place in those societies through her father's lineage. I mean, she's not wrong, technically. I'm not quite clear on why she finds it "racist" for black people to criticize her desire to be in an organization like the UDC. She decries the racism that prevents her mother from loving Strom Thurmond in public, and dreams of them walking around New York the way the interracial couples did in her time there. The Confederacy wanted to perpetuate a society that made that love impossible-what's there to celebrate about that? I'd love to have gotten her take on this issue. (The whole dynamic between 22-year old Strom and her 16-year old mother is of course worthy of several more paragraphs. Her mother is quite proud to have had a child by this prominent man, whatever we may think of the relationship. On top of her age-having a baby in those far more conservative times-what'd she tell other black folks about who the baby's father was? I just imagine all the years of secrecy and dishonesty along the way trying to survive and escape scorn, the whispers...)

At the end of the book, she makes it clear that she is both American black and American white and that she intends to "drink the nectar of both goblets." And she unapologetically declares that she loves her daddy despite saying how much she resented not being on the inaugural stand with him in front of everybody in 1947 and later family portraits. Watch some YouTube of some of her public appearances after everything came out-Ms. Washington-Williams is not much bothered by what anyone has to say about how she feels. She's said what she's said.

[Melinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I purchased this book years ago and finally decided to read it. It is interesting to read the thoughts of Strom Thurmond's daughter. Essie Mae Washington-Williams didn't know or meet her father until she was 16 years old which was in 1941. Her life always had unexpected curves: she was raised by her grandparents who she thought were her parents and that her birth mother was her aunt.
Despite all these unusual, traumatic life experiences Essie Mae survived . When reading this memoir, one has to separate themselves from todays world, and not judge Essie Mae by today's standards. In writing this memoir, Washington-Williams gives an authentic description of her life experiences as a Black woman in South Carolina during the 40s and 50s. On top of that she finds out her father is Strom Thurmond, one of the worst rabid racists in the country. I'm glad I waited to read this book until now because I was able to read with much more understanding of why Washington-Williams acted during this time of her life. I can't imagine being in her shoes even now, let alone in the 40s and 50s in South Carolina.

[Tilara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Essie Mae Washington-Williams passed away last week, therefore when I saw this book on the library shelf, I knew that it was time to finally read her memoirs. Honestly I cannot remember a time, when I didn't know the name Strom Thurmond. South Carolina is my home, and therefore Strom Thurmond(good or bad) is a part of my story as a South Carolinian.
The dignity and grace that Ms. Washington showed Mr. Thurmond throughout his life, and then after his death, illuminates her as a person of quality and deep moral convictions.
The book is a very honest and frank look at her life, before she knew who her birth father was, after the shocking revelation, and then the preceding years.
Since all of the leading characters were people that I have heard and read of throughout my life, I found that I could hardly put this book down.
Essie Mae devoted her life to her children, and the children in which she taught, however I think that her lasting legacy, shall be the dignified manner in which she handled the position she was born into.