Thirteen Ways to Sink a Sub

Hobie Hanson #1

by Jamie Gilson

Hobie Hanson and the rest of his fourth-grade class can’t believe their luck: Mr. Star, their teacher who never gets stick, is not in school. That means they’re getting a SUB. That means it’s time for the class to have some FUN. It’s boys-against-girls in the fight to see who can sink the sub faster—and what starts with simple name-changing leads to an all-out flood in the classroom!

Genres: Fiction, Childrens, Realistic Fiction, Middle Grade, Humor, Young Adult, School

115 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1982

Reviews

[Jeff · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about Hobie a 4th grader going to school. One day he goes to school then he finds out the teacher is out sick and there is a sub. Nothing really happened but the sub tells them a secret, the sub told the students that this is her first time being a sub. I like this book because it relates to me. I like my homeroom teacher being the teacher for my class.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not only did I love this book as a kid (fifth grader), but I tried to emply the techniques used in the book to take down my own substitute teachers. (I treated it like a handbook. :) )

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I dunno. This is almost a guilty pleasure. The kids are so mean at first, but we're supposed to kind of like them anyway. And the moral lesson is so earnest, almost preachy. But it's funny! Just, if you do decide to read it, I hope you get an edition with the picture of the teacher on the cover. I'm not particularly fond of the drawings inside, and would have liked to have a more appealing presentation.

[Rachel B · Rating 2 out of 5]

Firstly, the ad-copy was deceptive... it stated that the substitute teacher had tricks of her own, indicating she dealt with the kids' antics cleverly. She didn't.

I was also waiting for some sort of justice, and it never came. Very disappointing.

[Misty · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of my absolute favorite books I read as a kid. I may go back and read just to see if it still has its charm and humor.

[Sarah]

Just plain fun. This is sort of a Miss Nelson is Missing for an older crowd.

[Gray Cox · Rating 2 out of 5]

I honestly have no idea why I liked this so much as a kid, lol.

[Mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

THIS BOOK IS GREAT AND I LOVEEE R.X

[Kim Dennis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book ages and ages ago (like when I was in elementary) and remembered 2 things from it. I thought this would be a fun one to read to my nieces and nephews with the absolute understanding that this book is NOT to be an example to them of what to do when there is a sub at school. :) They are really good kids (whose mother also works at the school) so I wasn't too worried. They loved it. In fact, I wasn't supposed to finish it tonight, but when I finished the chapter we were on, they pleaded to have me read the last chapter. Fun book to read to kids who won't take it too seriously. :)

(Although, it is a biiiit dated -- the kids in gym class were listening to a record and stomped on the floor to make it skip. Might require some explanation for kids in a streaming world.)

[Terry]

The first few chapters took me back to elementary school! From kickball to presenting a project, it all came back. When Miss Ivanovich arrived, I wasn't sure I was going to continue liking it. I *got* the substitute thing, but I thought the kids were a little mean. I'm glad I kept reading, as things are not what they seem.

See why we think kids will get into the book and be picking sides!

[Bonnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was a substitute teacher for many years. This is a very irritating book. I retired after COVID and certainly hope children have not devolved into the feral monsters in this book. Most of the teachers and subs I worked with would have done better than this. Not recommended for children to read. They just might think this is how they are SUPPOSED to behave.

[X · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was kinda funny, but didn't capture my student's attention quite so well (there were a lot of characters to keep track of, and kind of a thin plot), and my student also thought the kids were too mean to the teacher so he didn't like it.

[Jim Sibigtroth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not sure I would want to encourage trying to get a substitute teacher to cry.

[Toni Wyatt · Rating 2 out of 5]

Boys and girls have a contest to see which group can make the substitute teacher cry first. Yikes.

[Aimee Massey · Rating 4 out of 5]

The fourth-graders in Room 4B have made it all the way to February without their formidable teacher, Mr. Star, missing a single day of class. So when he is stricken with the flu, they are wild with excitement at the prospect of a substitute teacher. Before they've even seen their sub, they're already planning what kind of hell they can raise, with the ultimate goal of sinking the sub, i.e., making her cry. It's Molly, the smartest kid in the class, who decides to make sub-sinking a Battle of the Sexes; the boys and girls will compete too see which side can sink the sub. The winning team will be exempt from fetching kickballs out of the trash-filled outside stairwell they call the Spit Pit for the rest of the year. The losers will have to do that for them.
At first, the sub looks like she will be easy to sink. Svetlana Ivanovitch is a sweet, gentle, newly qualified teacher and 4B is her first assignment as a substitute teacher, as she unwisely confides to the class right off the bat. Furthermore, she also discloses that she did all her student teaching with kindergartners. She talks to these wily fourth-graders as if they were five years old as well, and is easily taken in by some of their early pranks, such as Molly and her sidekick Lisa switching identities. She even seems to swallow the preposterous story the boys tell her about Marshall, an obviously African-American student whom they claim is Japanese and cannot speak a word of English. (This story is a cover for Marshall, a talented origami-maker, folding whole fleets of paper airplanes the gang plans to bombard the sub with.)
But as the day goes on, Miss Ivanovitch begins to catch on, and to push back. Hobie, the narrator, begins to respect and even like the sub, not least because she seems to respect and like him. He begins to tire of the sub-baiting, but can he get the others to stop before some real damage is done?
The kids in the book are whip-smart and devious as all-get-out. I don't remember any of us being as clever as that in the fourth grade, and I certainly don't remember any organized sub-sinking going on; just ignoring the sub's attempts to keep order seemed to be enough for most of us.
Miss Ivanovitch is what my brother calls a "do-hope," an adult character in a children's book who speaks in a somewhat cutesy, not-entirely-realistic way. "I do hope the boys and girls aren't terribly disappointed that their lovely substitute hasn't broken down" is an example I just made up.
The book was written in the early eighties and there are a few minor elements that are dated, such as the gym teacher having the kids square-dance to a record, and somebody stomping so as to make the needle skip. lol As I recall, record players were already being replaced by cassette players when this book was written.
Stil, the book is great fun and I imagine most kids would find it relatable, though I Do Hope they never try to put it into practice against their own subs.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Summary:
Hobie is a fourth grader. He goes to school one day to find that his teacher is out sick and they have a substitute. This sub tells the students a secret, it's her very first time being a substitute. This spurs on a game of "Sink the Sub". Whichever child makes the teacher cry first is the winner. This leads to snow ball fights, flooding the classroom, and generally being the worst students possible. This leads to chaos, a general lack of getting any possible work done, and maybe the substitute crying?

My thoughts:
As a teacher, I understand that my students will do things for a substitute teacher that they would never dream of doing for me, but this book takes it a little bit far. I also wanted to smack the substitute upside the head. Even when attempting to be a "good sub", there is a point in time where you need to reach out for help. I think the best substitute teachers that I have had in my classroom wrote detailed notes and went to someone else if they were stuck. They are in charge of the classroom and they need to show it. This book made the substitute teacher out to be too meek to make it in a class of fourth graders. I was looking forward to when the hammer would fall, but there aren't any real consequences given out. That's probably the worst part of the book in my opinion. With all of the things that happened, I was looking forward to just as clever consequences and they just didn't come. There really isn't even regret. As a teacher, I'm a little worried to give this to my students without a warning that if I find out they have done anything in the book to my classroom while I am away, then there will be serious consequences. Maybe I'll flood their bedroom and see how they like it?

[HeavyReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVED this book as a kid and read it repeatedly!

I've been thinking about it for a long time, but had no idea what the title was. I did remember it was about a substitute teacher. I also remembered the kids in the class called the sub "Sweet Lana I've Got an Itch," which is a play on her name Svetlana (or something like that) and some Eastern European surname ending in "vich." Hilarious kid humor. Ha! So I typed "Sweet Lana I've Got an Itch," into Google, and BOOM! up popped this title.

I always really admired the outfit the teacher is wearing on the front cover.

[Kiwi · Rating 4 out of 5]

An adorable book. I was looking into becoming a sub and decided to get this book on a lark, just to giggle a bit. It certainly made me do that. Brought me right back to my elementary school days: the olden days of girls vs. boys vs. adults. And the cootie shot! Only I think ours was, "Circle circle, dot dot, now you have the cootie shot" as we drew shapes on someone's arm.

A fun, short, giggle-tastic read. (:

[Kyra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wonder about the gender dynamics in this book. The ultimate villain turns out to be your typical "Mean Girl" character, Molly, and the interactions she has with the other girls in the class are carefully detailed, but the protagonist is a stereotypical boy. I wonder what led the author to write the book from the male point of view and to what extent her real interest lay in the dynamics of little girls.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have special appreciation for this book because I work as a substitute teacher. Upon reading this, I immediatly started to recognize all the wrong things the substitute was doing. Its a cute book, but it made me cringe and the author whips the story around in a way that makes it hard to follow at times.

[Terry]

Humor and well-described scenes, bring you right into Mr. Star's class. Kids will be picking sides and laughing their way through a day in Miss Svetlana Ivanovich's classroom.

Yeah for substitute teachers!

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

-your typical, fun, boys against the girls against the adult and everyone learns a good lesson in the end

I have done this book as a musical with my students several times, and will be doing it again this year in December. The kids love it!

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I saw this on a list somewhere and HAD to read it. I remember reading it in grade school. The paper towel falling from the ceiling was pretty memorable. I loved that the sub really talked to the kids after the first things started happening.

[Joe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I remember really liking this book as a fourth grader. Maybe I wished I had the guts to pull off some of these stunts. Whatever the reason, it's still a good read for upper elementary school students.

[ReadToFilth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have very fond memories of reading this as a kid. I'm excited to be purchasing a copy to share with my 4th grader now. I've re-read this with my 11 y.o. son and had to go over some of the problematic/racists word choices and scenes. I'm really disappointed that the book didn't age well.

[Lilly · Rating 4 out of 5]

remember when all we cared about was channeling hate to the hapless sub? ah, those were the days.

[Randy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It turn out ok in the end.

[Dayna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun read aloud.

[Nora]

I just met Jamie Gilson at my school I LOVE her books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ellis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was one of my favorite books as a kid & I am well pleased to see that it still holds up now.