A Moveable Marriage: Relocate Your Relationship Without Breaking It

by Robin Pascoe

A Moveable Relocate Your Relationship without Breaking It. With candid talk about the stress on relationships created by children, careers, money, sex, and infidelity, this book is for couples who know that moving isn’t all about furniture. Pascoe’s own relocation experiences give the book the intimacy and credibility of a conversation with a close friend.

Genres: Cultural, Nonfiction

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

ROBIN PASCOE is the author of five books about global living and a new memoir "The Carry-On Imperative: A Memoir of Travel, Reinvention & Giving Back." She has never been awarded a scholarship, a fellowship, an honorary degree, or a prize for her writing, her volunteerism, or her philanthropy. She did, however, win Best Girl Camper 1966 at Camp Kadimah, probably for her bubbly personality. At the age of sixty, after stepping back as the Expat Expert, Pascoe joined her husband and son to create a brand for their family’s wildly successful global education company, Maple Bear. Now, in her so-called retirement, she is helping out with another family project, fighting climate change in rural Costa Rica at an environmental education not-for-profit founded by her daughter. She currently divides her time between two paradises: magical Costa Rica and beautiful British Columbia, Canada.

Reviews

[Tracy S · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is geared towards women whose husbands’ jobs are forcing them to relocate. It is not for men who are in that position, nor is it for same-sex couples. It’s a very specific audience. I bought this book 11 years ago when my husband was applying for the Foreign Service. I opened it up a few times after we joined the FS, but I couldn’t yet relate to most of it. Now, after a few moves and 8.5 years overseas, the book is relevant. I like how matter-of-fact the author is about how hard it can be to reinvent yourself (and your marriage) when you become a “trailing spouse.” She doesn’t sugar coat it and she doesn’t offer a lot of advice about how to have it all. She understands that we spouses are very limited in what we are allowed to do, and that we have to think long-term, big picture rather than view our careers according to short term success. Some of the content seemed dated. For example, she assumes that the breadwinner usually controls the finances—this is certainly not the case in my marriage or in many of my friends’ marriages. I would feel very uncomfortable with my husband managing our finances. It would be incredibly unfair if he got to choose how we spend our money, just because he is the main breadwinner. She also assumes a lot about how men and women think and communicate differently. However, her career advice (about thinking long-term) was something I really needed to hear. I also really appreciated hearing other women’s stories, because it made me feel less alone in this crazy lifestyle.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I should have known this book was dated and irrelevant to my life by the time I finished with the intro, but I held onto hope that there would be a kernel of useful advice somewhere inside those pages and kept on. It was not the right choice. There was nothing in here that I could identify with, and nothing I found reassuring or helpful. I am sure there are women of a certain age who would feel differently about the book, but I can see now that it was out of print and hard to track down for a reason.

[Véronique Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like all her other books, Robin Pascoe’s Moveable Marriage is exciting and funny.
In this one, the author analyses the impact of international relocation on couples. Expatriation means change, and change has deep consequences on children, trailing spouse but also on marriage. This last one must be very strong if you want your relocation to be a success. Robin Pascoe analyses then moveable marriages under all aspects. Topics such as isolation, dependence, money, sex and intimacy are explained in an international setting. The author also deals with key topics such as the role of the company (which assign the couple and family abroad) towards the trailing spouse, dual career challenges and divorce. At the end of each chapter, she gives practical tips to make the best of your experience abroad as a couple.

I particularly enjoyed reading some parts of Robin’s book especially the one about dual career challenges. She pushes the reader to ask herself the right question like “What means success? What does it mean to be successful professionally?” The chapter about money, sex and intimacy is also particularly interesting.

This book will be very useful to intercultural marriage or women engaged in a relationship that involves a move abroad. Finally, I recommend this book to any couples because it deals with relationships between men and women.

[Amira · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must-read for any relocating spouse who accompanies her husband abroad. The book is filled with valuable advice as well as stories of many expatriate wives who speak candidly about their experiences, hopes and challenges.As a former relocating spouse herself, Robin Pascoe brilliantly describes her feelings, worries, frustration and achievements when she relocated to various destinations with her family. All in all, a very interesting and useful book.

[Ingrid · Rating 4 out of 5]

An Expat self-help book with interesting tips. The perfect book for airplane reading. A useful read for first-time expats, makes professional International Expat movers smile. Invites you to take time to reflect on your own life situation which is always good.