Going on Being: Buddhism and the Way of Change--A Positive Psychology for the West

by Mark Epstein

The bestselling author of Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart combines a memoir of his own journey as a student of Buddhism and psychology with a powerful message about how cultivating trueself-awareness and adopting a Buddhist understanding of change can free the mind.
"Meditation was the vehicle that opened me up to myself, but psychotherapy, in the right hands, has similarpotential. It was actually through my own therapy and my own studies of Western psychoanalytic thought that I began to understand what meditation made possible. As compelling as the language of Buddhism was for me, Ineeded to figure things out in Western concepts as well. Psychotherapy came after meditation in my life, but it reinforced what meditation had shown me."
Before Mark Epstein became a medicalstudent at Harvard and began training as a psychiatrist, he immersed himself in Buddhism through experiences with such influential Buddhist teachers as Ram Dass, Joseph Goldstein, and Jack Kornfield. The positive outlookof Buddhism and the meditative principle of living in the moment came to influence his study and practice of psychotherapy profoundly. Going on Being" "is Epstein's memoir ofhis early years as a student of Buddhism and of how Buddhism shaped his approach to therapy. It is also a practical guide to how a Buddhist understanding of psychological problems makes change for the betterpossible.
In psychotherapy, Epstein discovered a vital interpersonal parallel to meditation, but he also recognized Western psychology's tendency to focus on problems, either by attempting toeliminate them or by going into them more deeply, and how this too often results in a frustrating "paralysis of analysis." Buddhism opened his eyes to another way of change. Drawing on his own life andstories of his patients, he illuminates the concept of "going on being," the capacity we all have to live in a fully aware and creative state unimpeded by constraints orexpectations.
By chronicling how Buddhism and psychotherapy shaped his own growth, Mark Epstein has written an intimate chronicle of the evolution of spirit and psyche, and a highly inviting guide foranyone seeking a new path and a new outlook on life. "From the Hardcover edition."

Genres: Buddhism, Psychology, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Philosophy, Self Help, Meditation

240 pages, Unbound

First published March 27, 2001

About the author

Mark Epstein, M.D. is a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City and the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism and psychotherapy. He received his undergraduate and medical degrees from Harvard University and is currently Clinical Assistant Professor in the Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University.

Reviews

[Edwin Mcallister · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you can read this book and not want to punch Mark Epstein once, you have attained enlightenment, Grasshopper. I love this book and I learned so much from it and I'm going to read it again immediately, but Epstein comes off as the most self-absorbed apostle of attaining mindful non-self-absorption imaginable.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started to read this book and found that the most meaningful bit was a bookmark I found inside with the following on it:

Walking the Labyrinth
A Journey of Presence

My life is a sacred journey.
It is about change, growth,
discovery, creativity, transformation,
continuously expanding my
vision
of what is possible,
stretching my soul
learning to see clearly
and deeply,
listening to my intuition, taking courageous risks,
embracing challenges
at every step along the way.

I am on the path,
exactly where I am meant
to be
right now.

And from here I can go forward,
shaping my life story
into a magnificent tale
of healing, of courage,
of wisdom and beauty,
creativity
empowerment, dignity
and love.


I will leave the bookmark with the book. It seems fitting....

[Steve Woods · Rating 5 out of 5]

Epstein is one of the most important people I have read since I started to practice 7 years ago. He has done much to help me on the way towards integrating what I have learned through practice and other forms of psychological work over the past few years. Somehow he is able to encapsulate the teachings into a form that just slots right into my daily life. the understanding that arises from that has been extremely helpful. This is another great book. I recommend it to anyone who has an interest in "the path">

[sevdah]

Picked this up after it found me, and because it got its' title from Winnicott. Epstein is a psychoanalyst whose practice is coloured by Buddhism and in this memoir, he examines his path in both - his spiritual practice and his work with clients. Thinking between Freud and Buddha sounds all too fascinating, but in reality he can be so self-obsessed it's just frustrating. You have to roll your eyes when he says that usually Buddhism in the West is encountered as the Other, but for him you see it came very early and made up the fabric of his life - which makes you image anything else but the reality of him finding out about it because he was following a beautiful girl into religion class at Harvard while studying psychiatry. My dude, you were the Other, get off your high horse, Buddha wouldn't care if you admit you were a middle class American student finding about Eastern philosophy because you were horny. Anyway; some of what happens in this book is deeply annoying like that, but some valuable insights are to be found as well if you're thick skinned enough to carry on.

[Richard · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm working on a master's thesis focused on Buddhist psychology. This isn't the worst book I've read in my research, but its not the best. Its definitely "for the masses" but I worry that is not appealing enough for the masses. It was ok.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Philosophical rather than pragmatic. This is not a self-help book. It is about the author's journey in Buddhism, meditation, and psychotherapy.

[Morgan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this for the Supergirl Radio book club, as this wouldn't ordinarily be my jam. I liked some of the concepts in the book and it was interesting to learn more about the intersection of Buddhism and psychology, and how Buddhist principles could be applied to a psychological framework. I definitely liked the idea of being present in the moment, as someone who can't seem to watch TV or read without checking my phone a million times. Some interesting stuff. Also now I want to know so much more about Ram Dass aka Richard Alpert (hey Lost references!).

[Sienna · Rating 3 out of 5]

A new favorite author for me. I enjoy how Epstein brings together the ideas of communication & Buddhism to present a clear, open path.

[Jonathan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had heard such great things about Epstein. Perhaps I will try him again in the future, but I could barely stop myself from rolling my eyes at his passive, oh so wise writing voice.

Instead of actually teaching his reader how to become mindful, he just drones on about the theory of mindfulness. It's ironic, but the book really failed to hold my attention. There's a portion where he talks about the Buddhist theory that if something bores you, you should do it twice. Maybe I should read this book again?

[Standard Schaefer]

Mostly good for thinking about Winnecot and child rearing

[John · Rating 2 out of 5]

Less accessible than his other book, Going to Pieces. A little too spiritual and a little less practical.

[Hsandlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

For readers that enjoyed Dan Harris’s 10% Happier but thought “let’s not beat around the bush - tell me the religious teaching along with the psychological.” It’s of my favorite reads from Mark Epstein. It’s a self reflective story of his early experience in developing his Buddhist practice while he was also studying and in the early stages of becoming a psychotherapist. It has all the hallmarks of Epstein’s work with references to D. W. Winnicott, Freud, and his Buddhist masters. With stories from his trainings by world famous teachers from Ram Dass to Joseph Goldstein, he seamlessly connects deep and profound Buddhist lessons to theories of mind and psychoanalysis that make the lessons more poignant. I appreciate the narrative structure of a loose autobiography. It never insists you care about the authors story, only what he learned, but most readers will care anyway.

As much as I enjoy Mark Epstein’s works, a lot of his books feel very similar - some borderline interchangeable. Luckily, I love that book he keeps writing and enjoy the new flavors of each release. I love hearing his stories from his Buddhists practice combined with his readings in psychoanalysis. Those are lessons I often need to hear more than once so I’m more the grateful for each new opportunity to read similar stories. Going On Being, however, stands out from the line up. Perhaps it felt more personal, the narrative structure felt compelling in a unique way, the core concept resonates with me, or maybe it just said what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. Regardless, it is one of my favorite books Mark Epstein has written. It the perfect starting point for his works and if you’ve read a couple of books by him and didn’t quite love it, this might be the one to change your mind.

[Aditi · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Striving to get rid of the pain only reinforces it. While acceptance of the truth deepens our capacity for tolerance, patience & forgiveness”

Bhikhu - fear seer

“Too much observation without enough participation… in the Buddhist view, insight without compassion is thought to be heartless”

“I was attached to the notion of observing with equanimity, and this kept me apart at times from the actual experience”

“It is the nature of formations to dissolve”

“It is possible to change. Not by making my problems go away, or even by exploring them more deeply, but by cultivating my capacity to accept things as they are. When I learned to restrain my own patterns of reactivity, my identity had a chance to reveal itself, not as a fixed entity, but as a flow & potential.”

“Meditation has enabled me to take possession of myself, to inhabit myself, not through identification, but through acceptance.”

“Meditation, seems to me, an effort at reparenting.”

Psychodynamics - “the ability to live in an uninterrupted flow of authentic self”

[Lora Shouse · Rating 3 out of 5]

I frankly couldn’t tell if this audiobook was the abridged version or the full version. But it apparently didn’t matter too much either way. It appears to be primarily an essay on Mark Epstein’s journey to integrate his Buddhist practice with his career as a psychotherapist.

Epstein appears to practice some combination of Zen Buddhism and mindfulness meditation. He tells about his early forays into Buddhist meditation and the mentors who helped him to understand his practice.

He also talks about the theory of going on being, and how this relates to his view that psychotherapy needn’t necessarily focus only on fixing people’s problems, either by eliminating them or by “going deeper into” them. Sometimes it is enough just to understand the problem and to know that you can live with it.

[Erica Sanders · Rating 2 out of 5]

I generally love books on the intersection between Buddhism and medicine, Buddhism and modern life, or Buddhism and Christianity. This one was more challenging to read for me - partly due to the sentence structure and word choices, I wasn’t always sure what the author was trying to say. And partly because the flow of the book is a bit choppy. It wasn’t one coherent story, it wasn’t a collection of individual thoughts or stories. It was written almost like it was supposed to be one story but it doesn’t really flow in a logical way. There are bits and pieces that I enjoyed but overall I left the book unsure of what I wanted to take away from it or what the author was trying to tell me. I’m not even sure I could clearly define what the author means by going on being. Note that I did listen to this as an audiobook so perhaps this is one that you need to read on paper.

[Nickole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really fantastic short read. I have recently been delving into positive psychology and this came up on a library book search for “positive psychology“. I have always practiced elements of Buddhism mostly in mindfulness and meditation and was delighted to see a book that on the cover seemed to be touching on both Buddhism and positive psychology. And while it is it about positive psychology in the way that I am learning it from the VIA Institute but it does talk about the rooms of analysis and buddhism mostly in relationship to meditation. It’s a great book for anyone who is interested in tapping into a positive psychological effects of practicing Buddhist Philosophy and meditation and not getting into the dogma of Buddhism as a religion.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

As many other readers have noted, this book is more of an autobiography than a book just about Buddhism. Which is fine if you connect with the author and have an interest in psychiatry.

But this book definitely feels to me like not only an autobiography, but one aimed at other psychiatrists.

I found some interesting insights here, but if you're after Buddhist insight rather than a psychiatrist's autobiography, I'd suggest looking into the authors and teachers he refers to in the book, most notably Ram Dass, Joseph Goldstein, and Jack Kornfield.

[Mack · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice memoir and explanation of why Buddhism has meant the world to this psychotherapist. Not a whole lot of original or revelatory material here, but it’s further proof of how well this ancient philosophy has stood the test of time. It’s truly uncanny how much of modern psychonalytic theory was predicted by the Buddha and his immediate acolytes. Definitely an edifying read, but it still feels like a supplemental source rather than a primary one.

[Ash Hiebert · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn't realize it was an autobiography when I grabbed this then his other works. Perhaps the rating is unfair for that reason. Maybe I would have enjoyed it more if it had been what I expected. I slogged through it at night before bed and it definitely helped put me to sleep... For months. I could barely get through two pages before passing out each night. Much prefer his "going to pieces without falling apart" book.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although this was an interesting book, it was more a story of Mark Epstein's own journey into Buddhism and meditation. It provided the background as to how he integrated it into his own medical practice and the changes that it has made to him and his own life as well as the lives of people around him. I have a lot of respect for the author, but I am not sure this was the strongest of his books that I have read.

[Terry Kent Hermansen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was not a comprehensive manual on Buddhism but, to be honest I was distracted during much of the listening. It was while reading this book that an epiphany occurred to me which cast the Bible in a more favorable light as a self help book. Still books such as Going on Being will continue to hold value for me. They will, going forward, however, be subservient to the Bible. I do recommend this book.

[Stephanie Koclanis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having an undergrad degree in psych, I identified and valued with Epstein’s issues/ questions about psychotherapy and how he fought his way through to find an authentic view for himself. In addition, as a child development professional I loved how Epstein incorporated Winnicott’s view on the psyche.

[Emre Güneş · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you have never did meditation, it’s not easy to understand the book and what it tries to tell you. If you did though, it’s a well-written book to grasp a glimpse of Buddhism and its teachings through the life experience of the author.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I ended up getting annoyed about this bc listened to it while I also had the book. Even though the audio said unabridged it wasn't the same as the book! So my rating is partially unfair. But that said, I didn't like it as much as the others I've been reading, though there are some good insights.

[Greg Schumaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Filled with bits of insights and an introduction to Buddhism that ever-so-slightly shifted the way I see the world (and myself) for the better.

[Jason · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was lent to me by someone far more familiar with Buddhism than me. Not having the background made it quite a difficult read. A little to esoteric as a whole, for my tastes.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Among my favorite books on Buddhism. Practical and not too esoteric.

[Rebecca]

I’m beginning to understand more of the vocabulary of Buddhism. I like the concept of going on being.

[Nika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful blend of psychology and Buddhism. I really appreciated the philosophical and psychological insights, as well as Epstein's personal and practitioner reflections.

[Vern Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

very interesting read between Buddha and psychology.