Such a Nice Guy

by Phil Torcivia, Rebecca Shockley (Illustrator)

Who am I? What do I know? What qualifications do I have to observe and evaluate? I’m just a man in his late forties who was fortunate enough to have a relatively baggage-free second shot at love and a sense of humor to avoid the depression that comes with rejection. I’m also lucky to be able to work from home, giving me the time to reflect and write about love on the West Coast. Finally, yes it’s true: people in Southern California enjoy nicer weather and provide a large dose of physical and social dysfunction, giving me plenty of writing material. This is not an autobiography. I embellish most of what I write to make it entertaining. Life is interesting, but to embellish is to add spice to the meat of a story. Forgive me for exaggerating and being judgmental and shallow at times. A nice, predictable, and politically correct Phil is a boring Phil—in person and in print. That’s why I drink, and that’s why I use my imagination. Some people will find an essay or two they are convinced is about them. Rest assured that nothing in this book is about you, it’s all about me: such a nice guy.

348 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Torcivia is a divorced man who transplanted himself from Pennsylvania into the treacherous dating pool in Southern California. His feline companions, Syd and Symon, share his home in San Diego and an occasional dish of leftover tuna. Torcivia loves nothing better than bellying up to the bar with his favorite social lubrication (wine) and watching the bizarre mating rituals of the locals, which he translates into humorous essays. He has been single long enough to be involved in a few train wrecks of his own, admitting that he's "one relationship disaster away from a third cat."

Reviews

[Cupcakencorset · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is a collection of essays taken from the author's blog site. It was okay. I'd recommend it for middle-age or older men with relationship baggage and women issues. As a woman "of a certain age", I couldn't relate much to his points of view, although his means of expression was often amusing. There was a thin thread of misogyny or cultural bias that distanced me from Torvicia's POV, possibly because his description of women and his preferences and his experiences made it crystal clear that I'm not his type. And that's okay, because he really isn't mine either.

I read this as an e-book and have a couple more by Torvicia already in my Kindle (for Mac) library. It is the first full book I've read in this format, and that's probably why it took me months to read it. Usually, if I'm at a computer, I'm reading blogs or news stuff or FB. My book reading has been of the paper variety, although I have purchased (cheap!) more than a dozen e-books and have won a couple more. I'm looking forward to reading another of them and, eventually, to trying out a portable electronic reading device. No rush, though. I have a couple of hundred paper books still unread chez moi... and lots of time to read them all.

[Rose · Rating 1 out of 5]

The Good: This deserves the rating of "God bless your dirty heart." ~Holy Hubert Lindsey

The Bad: I created a new shelf "Not worth the paper printed on".

The Ugly: Crass, insensitive, indelicate. I lacked common sense after reading the first essay and continued reading!

[Holly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected this book to be funny. It does raise a few thought-provoking questions, and was moderately touching in parts (he felt bad for the sad girl in the wine bar whose finance wouldn't talk to her on the phone because he was busy). I think the author would do better if he would just go with this sensitive side instead of talking all macho all the time. The book wasn't very funny and reading about his sexcapades got old pretty quickly.

[Kartik · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first few chapters are interesting but it goes down hill after that.. the writing is terrible. Without any characters to develop, the book drags on as a some dude's uninteresting rambling.. skip this one.

[Tracey · Rating 1 out of 5]

I only made it 30% through this book (I have a Kindle) and couldn't take it anymore. Saw the recommendation on Facebook about how great it was. Ick. Just started Me, the Mob and the Music by Tommy James and it has been excellent so far.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. I laughed out loud, multiple times, and didn't want to stop reading. I'm sad it ended when it did, because I'm sure there are more brutally honest observations to be made. Without hitch or hesitation, Torcivia plunges right into the terror-ridden world of relationships, doling out advice from what I gather is a long, sometimes painful, often comical attempt to reside there. Seldom is anyone willing to be as exposed and honest as Torcivia is, and even more infrequently is that willingness coupled with the vantage point to be useful to others and the ability to communicate the experience coherently. All of the mindless rules and the attempts at manipulation, all the silly games and sillier actions and reactions in our little game of charades (a.k.a. guess what I want you to do/say/be or we're breaking up) are rooted out and served for dinner with very little garnish and no napkin. It is absolutely hilarious and completely true in every way.



Won through Goodreads First Reads Program.

[Holly Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am going to start by saying how much I love the format of this book. It's not quite short stories or essays, its more like what you would expect from a blog entry. To me this book is like a years worth of blogging neatly packaged up with some awesome artwork into a convenient package.

This guy could be a stand-up comedian I would imagine. He has an interesting way of viewing life, and manages to find the humor in most every situation. I particularly love how he can write in a way that anyone can identify with. Either you have been there, or know someone who has been there which makes the stories that much more hilarious. The author doesn't take things to seriously and the reader will love him for that!

One of my favorite stories "Hair", is about the strange places we find hair, and how evolution should have taken care of this issue by now. Another favorite starts with the words "You might be a hot mess if..." and is fantastic! "Grumpy Old Men" is hilarious because, lets face it, we all know one!

All in all this book is great. I highly recommend.

[Melanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I requested a copy of this book because it said it was in the vain of David Sedaris, I was expecting short stories with some humor. This book didn't have the humor of Sedaris or the storytelling acumen. Some of the book was crass, it wasn't very entertaining and came off in parts like whiny drivel. I think the best parts were the parts where Torcivia actually talked a bit about his life like Office Olympics but I could have enjoyed this book less without the unnecessary lists and quizes which just seemed like wasted page fillers.

[Megan Hansen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Torcivia tried for a clever, honest look at relationship, love and life, and successfully pulled it off... some of the time. Some essays sat better with me than others. I did enjoy the illustrations; they made the read more fun. Overall, if you like guy humor, you'll enjoy this, if you're thinking "What does she mean by guy humor?" Run away.

[Marsha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a freebie from GoodReads and although it's taken me awhile to read it and review it, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I liked the short vignettes as they made this book perfect for reading one or two at a time and then putting the book aside. Laugh out loud funny in parts. Regardless of his personal feelings, Phil Torcivia is not only a nice guy, he's pretty darn funny, too!

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I laughed a lot, nodded a bunch, and squirmed a couple times. I didn't always agree with his views, but had no problem with his overall outlook. I think my husband would enjoy it.

[Kate Givans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! Lot of fun to read. Love how it made me laugh! Very candid author, very "no holds barred" book! Highly suggest to anyone who likes humor, relationships, and funny guy musings.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some funny essays and a few, good one-liners.