Loving Peter

by Bonnie Dee

All children except one grow up.
—Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie

Peter Woods is a young man who’s content to live a gadfly life, darting from one experience to the next with no thought of the future. But his father has cut the purse strings and soon Peter may have to make a drastic change.

Wendell Rhodes is a stable, sober banker who has only recently discovered the underground gay nightlife in turn-of-the-century London. At a secret club, Ever Lads, Wendell meets Peter and flint meets tinder.

But the journey from lust to love is never easy. Peter’s father is determined to make a man of his son at last. When Wendell is threatened, will Peter sacrifice his freedom to save the man for whom he’s grown to care deeply, or is there another way clever Peter can save the day?


Genres: Gay / Historical / BDSM (Light) / Exhibitionism / Public Places
Heat Level: 3
Length: Novel (54k words)

Genres: Historical, M M Romance, Audiobook, Romance, Historical Fiction, Victorian, BDSM

160 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2012

About the author

I began telling stories as a child. Whenever there was a sleepover, I was the designated ghost tale teller. I still have a story printed on yellow legal paper in second grade about a ghost, a witch and a talking cat.

I enjoy dabbling in many genres. Whether you're a fan of contemporary historical or fantasy romance, you'll find something to enjoy among my books. I'm interested in flawed, often damaged, people who find the fulfillment they seek in one another. To stay informed about new releases, please sign up for my newsletter. You can join my street team at FB. Learn more about my backlist at http://bonniedee.com and find me on FB and Twitter @Bonnie_Dee.

Reviews

[⚣Michaelle⚣ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.4 Stars

I think this book is seriously under-rated! I loved how each of the quotes from Peter Pan give a hint to what will happen in that chapter...and I adored how the details from the original are transformed into something different and completely engaging. The characters were wonderful.

This is one of the best re-imagined books I've ever listened to.

14Jun2018 - Edited to add: OMG! I kept thinking the whole time I listened to the story that the narrator sounded really familiar...well, it wasn't so much the narrator himself as the voice he used for Peter. Thank all that is holy that I only JUST figured out who it sounded like - because if I'd realized I was hearing Stewie Griffin I'd have never gotten the image of him as Peter Pan out of my head!!! (No, just no.)

[Erth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bonnie Dee has NEVER led me wrong. I was nervous, as this is an M/M retelling of my absolute FAVORITE--Peter Pan, and a historical (which I'm super picky about). The touches were so well thought out and cute. The characters were endearing and the story so much fun. I'm a fan for life.

[Kade Boehme · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The sooner one stops worrying about what the world thinks, the sooner he will fly." – Peter Woods

Oh my Gahhh! How did I not know this was a thing?!

Okay. So aside from the fact I'm a HUGE Bonnie Dee fangirl, just love everything she does with MM historicals. Peter Pan is an obsession of mine. Hard core. books and quotes and tattoos and ... Just everything. So I was side eying this shit hardcore when I saw the book was a "wink and nod" to my boo.

This was such a fabulous way to do it. And I don't just say that as a fangirl. I'm impressed.

It was simple and sweet and the quotes were great and the nods to Barrie's Pan stories and characters made me smile so hard. This story was fun escapism and Bonnie did it justice.

[Jeff Erno · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's the dawn of the 20th Century in London, England, and homosexuality is regarded not only as an unthinkable perversion but also a criminal activity. Men who love men meet in secret and congregate in clandestine private clubs such as Ever Lads, the fictional locale where Peter Woods and Wendell Rhodes first encounter one another.

Peter is the impudent, spoiled little rich boy who refuses to grow up. Living off his father's money, Peter has no interest in pursuing a career or supporting himself. He's nearly thirty years old but behaves like a schoolboy. Having dropped out of college and carelessly squandered his father's generous financial endowment, Peter now faces his father's wrath. His allowance has been slashed, and his father is threatening to cut him off completely unless he enlists in the military. Peter refuses to take such threats seriously, though. To do so would be require that he face the realities of life like a man, and Peter is committed to ever remaining a boy--carefree and blissfully irresponsible.

Wendell is quite the opposite of Peter in nearly every imaginable way. He epitomizes stability and personal responsibility. Wendell is the pride and joy of his parents, and has a deep and abiding connection to his family, particularly his two brothers, one of whom is is away at university and the other in boarding school. Wendell is pursuing a career in the banking industry, following in his father's footsteps, and is in line for a promotion.

Everything about Wendell is transparent. He is innocent and sincere, and he has very deep emotions which he quite stoically conceals beneath his professional demeanor. When he and Peter initially encounter each other, Wendell is mesmerized by Peter's charm, but he's cautious. He wants more than just a frivolous romp. He desires to learn who Peter really is and connect with him emotionally.

To Peter's chagrin--and astonishment--Wendell is able to open something inside of his heart. He finds himself confiding his deepest feelings, things he's never before confronted. He discovers that much of his behavior stems from unexpressed grief he has harbored for years over the loss of his mother and sister. He's felt unloved by his father and realizes he's a terrible disappointment to the man who raised him. Peter at first is uncomfortable with these realizations. He rationalizes that his relationship with Wendell means nothing to him--it's just another of many affairs. But in his heart, he knows he's been affected. He knows he will never be the same.

Devastating events transpire that threaten to permanently separate Peter and Wendell, and Peter eventually must confront his father. Wendell also must face his own demons and figure out a way to maintain the familial bonds he so cherishes while remaining true to his own identity. Peter and Wendell are stricken by each other, deeply and madly in love, but they live in a time and place where such feelings are forbidden What, other than tragedy, can ever become of them?

This story touched my heart in a way few other love stories ever have. I was able to connect with both central characters, and I cared for each of them immensely. The setting was portrayed so beautifully that I felt as if I'd been transported back in time. I felt anger and frustration toward the establishment, and my heart broke for the gay men who were so cruelly ostracized and denied even a semblance of respect and dignity.

Though generally not a fan of historicals, I was captivated by this story, and it was cover-to-cover read for me. I couldn't put it down. I laughed and wept and at times cheered. This beautifully-written tale of romance and forced-separation is most definitely a must-read. I highly recommend it.

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

A simple and sweet historical romance. Features a rake of a man named Peter and an innocent banker named Wendell dipping his toes into the gay bar scene for the first time. Peter is delighted to personally introduce Wendall to the pleasures of male company.
I think the Peter Pan angle was a little too forced but still a cute read.

[Vfields Don't touch my happy! · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bonnie Dee does what she does in this one as well. The odd thing was I felt Wendell was the character I worried and cared about the most. I found him interesting and I was most upset when he was in danger. I have no clue why Peter didn't resonate with me he was just a catalyst for the story to move along. Nowadays we know we still have a ways to go for all people to be free to live and love openly and safely but this story made me really feel how hard and terrifying life was for the men and women of the past.

[Maureen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I struggled with this, I love historically set stories and have read quite a few of this authors works, this time she stumped me. I have to confess to a fair bit of skimming, unfortunately, but I kept at it.
No disrespect to the author but this was a tough and sometimes confusing and frustrating read.

[BlackTulip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reviewed By BlackTulip for Confessions from Romaholics


Very early on, I honestly had some doubts whether or not I would like this book. In fact I had rather very mixed feelings during the first third of the story, essentially due to the main protagonist, Peter and his behavior. But I'm very glad that I decided finally to persevere.

Peter Woods' main goal in life is to enjoy it to the fullest, his only interests being fashion and pleasure! Everything about him seems superficial and selfish. At least, this is the image he presents to society. Indeed, his carelessness and disinterest in all things a bit more serious or that should be important for a young man of more or less thirty years, was, for me, a character flaw difficult to digest.

He made me think of a beautiful butterfly that goes from flower to flower ... with nothing else to sustain his day … and each of those more or less the same. Let's not forget to add one or two childish pranks to end an evening on or something even funnier when performed with a group of young men as much immature as himself.

He is jovial, he likes to joke, flirt and have multiple partners in his bed. In the meantime, you're hoping that soon something different is going to happen. And thank god during the first third of the tale, Peter lets down his guard and for just a second you've a glimpse of something hidden and buried deep down, an old scar that never healed ... a very good reason for such a completely-out-of-reality-behavior … a deeper meaning that explains this blatant rejection of adulthood or any of society's rules and conventions. This is when I began to understand where he was coming from and then I was finally able to like him.

Peter has known from a young age that he was different from the other boys and apparently he accepted it rather easily. The difficult part was to be able to indulge his sexual proclivity with a minimum of discretion. At the dawn of the 20th century, British society wasn't tender with men like them. But he was able to find a special and secret place called the "Ever Lad" Club, a refuge, a safe heaven where men like him could do whatever they wanted, if only for a few hours, and be free. And it's there that Peter meets Wendell ...

Wendell is everything that Peter is not. He's in trade while Peter, as a true product of his time, relies only on his father's allowance. Wendell never does anything lightly, is very conventional, rather unsure of himself and introverted. Smiling doesn't come to him very easily. And during all these years, he always kept his secret needs safely locked inside.

Peter and Wendell's characters are at the same time so dissimilar but also so complementary.

What begins for Peter as a game of seduction, turns out to be a much more intense and deeper one and certainly more dangerous to explore .... there's that incomprehensible, desperate and alarming yearning, this need to be close to somebody that is so foreign to him ... a totally unknown territory. For Wendell it's no better; his very sober, quiet and peaceful life has been now irreparably shaken to the core. And the worst is that he's afraid that Peter only wants to have some fun when all he would like is more ... and you cannot help but feel for him.

The progression and development of their relationship and feelings for each other is described with finesse and feels totally credible. There's a full range of sentiments and emotions in this story: lust, revelation, happiness, doubts, love, pain, sacrifice and acceptance.

I know that the story is loosely inspired by Peter Pan but I didn't like the fact that every chapter began with a quote from J. M. Barrie's book, it felt too distracting, so I stopped reading them very quickly.

Despite the fact that I had some problem at the beginning of the story, it remains that it's a very well written and a wonderful book. I give it 4 stars

[Macky · Rating 3 out of 5]

Recently read quite a few books by Bonnie that I really enjoyed, especially the historical m/m romances she co wrote with summer Devon so was really looking forward to this one after reading the product description but unfortunately even though the writing is well done ( for that I would have upped the review to 3.5* ) personally I just couldn't make a connection with the story or the two main characters Peter and Wendell and found my mind wandering even though I did finish the book. The story is obviously a play on Peter Pan, the main pro tag Peter mirroring " the boy who never grew up " and the rest of the cast based on all the other Peter Pan characters, Wendell ( Wendy?) even has two brothers called John and Micheal and instead of never never land we have the club Ever Lads, so you can see how she is working the story and to a degree it works well but what I didn't feel was the chemistry between the two of them, although I liked Peters character and could picture him quite well , Wendell seemed a bit over stiff and staid and something was missing between the two of them for me . Not a bad read but not one I would want to read again.

[Bo · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I'm Flying" is Not Just for Mary Martin

I bought this book after the title had been changed to "Peter & Wendell," which is far more appropriate because this book is grounded in fantasy (J.M. Barrie's "Peter Pan") and plays out in reality--turn of the 20th Century Victorian England when men were not allowed to be with other men of their kind unless in secretive societies on well-hidden streets.

This is a tough high-wire act to pull off because every chapter is headed by a quote from Barrie's book (one thing I did not care for), and Peter the feckless, thrill seeking adventurous hero has his life interrupted by staid, attractive, and totally closeted Wendell.

Hello, Tinkerbelle! (Oh, yes, Tom Tinker is a character in here as well as Captain Hook, though that is not his name, but you will find out soon enough who he is.

And it works. My, my does it work! Ms. Dee has put together characters, locale, plot and twists, along with some very rapacious intimate scenes, to create a one-sitting extravaganza filled with apprehension, opportunity, lust, vengeance, tragedy (and not a little love) to create another wonderful period read by an amazing author.

[k zink · Rating 2 out of 5]

me: if you're rewriting a classic at least have the decency to make it gay! don't be a coward!
me after reading this extremely shoehorned, shallow, and completely uninspired mere shade of a version of Peter Pan: no, not like this

[Viv · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was really a clever reimagining of Peter Pan. I love historical romances and you can't go wrong with a Bonnie Dee book.

Thanks, Kade, for the recommendation!

[Maura · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a nice representation of a Peter Pan story. Peter is wealthy and spoiled, the boy who never grew up to believe in love, commitment, responsibility, etc. Instead, he lives his life for fun and pleasure, selfishly caring only for his own pursuits. He meets Wendell (Wendy), who represents everything that is adulthood...commitment, responsibility, duty to his family, etc. Wendell, feeling pressure from his family to take on more of the responsibilities of adulthood, is attracted to Peter’s world and Peter himself and enjoys the taste of it, but he is simultaneously repulsed by the idea of living in it permanently. He doesn’t care for Peter’s capriciousness, nor the way temporary pleasure leaves him feeling empty, so he hopes that Peter can “grow up.” And something happens that does force Peter to examine his own life and see the benefits of responsibility, but by then, it might be too late to have a future with Wendell.

This is a really clever interpretation of a classic story. I liked how the author put it together and how it basically is Peter Pan, but you’d hardly recognize it. It’s not in your face obvious all the time…(I mean Tink is). But bits of it would hit me, like how Wendell’s brothers’ names are John and Michael… and how Peter’s father lost his hand during the Boer war (hello, Captain Hook). So, as I said, I give credit for a very cleverly done job. That’s basically what earns the stars here, because unfortunately, as a romance, this didn’t do a whole lot for me.

First you have the use of domination...Wendell apparently realizes pretty early on that he wants to be bossed around and Peter is perfectly willing to do that. I’m never really a fan of that kind of kink in any case, but can usually handle it when the characters clearly love and respect one another. I never got the impression that Peter respected Wendell...he looks down on his responsibility and mocks his innocence repeatedly. Peter constantly cheapens what he and Wendell share. I get why he does it, he doesn’t want the adult feelings of love and wants to continue in his selfish, carefree life, but it made me wonder what the hell Wendell was seeing in Peter. Despite the many times Wendell walked away from an encounter with Peter feeling empty and dirty, he kept going back for more and refused to stick to his guns about not being used by Peter again. Sure, Peter was starting to feel things, but Wendell didn’t know that and it made Wendell a nice, big doormat. Also, I think Peter takes too long to grow up...and unfortunately part of that growing up is learning to care about others. Peter remains only concerned with himself and Wendell. He admits that if Wendell hadn’t been in trouble, he wouldn’t have caved to his father’s demands to save any of his “friends” at the club. While he liked those people, they were not worth the sacrifice of his selfish life. This sort of attitude is not so shocking in a child, which is why Peter (from Peter Pan) remained a sympathetic character. The same cannot be said for an adult. Peter is scarily good at detaching himself from the concerns of others and it makes him unlikeable and unrelatable...like Peter could be a good serial killer or something because he doesn’t feel empathy. By the time he does turn himself around, it was too little too late and I still couldn’t understand why Wendell cared so much.

So clever story, but not enough to overcome the negatives for me...the domination kink and the selfish hero.

[Amyiw · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rerelease of Loving Peter published 2012.
2 1/2 stars and since it took more than 50% to like it at all... I went down.

Peter and Wendell takes a Peter that is an immature, self centered, hedonistic, pampered baby, until his father cuts him off. Wendell meets him at a club and is intrigued as he has always played it safe. Well since cutting him off didn't work, Peter's dad resorts to other means to make Peter "grow up".

Well, in the first 1/2 of the book, Wendell learns the pleasures in giving in to his desires but he wants more. Pretty much Peter makes these erotic scenes dull for me, with no spark as Peter wants none. He slowly comes around but by then, I am wondering why Wendell wants anything to do with him. And then finally the story comes around and Peter does 'grow up'.

Well before each chapter there are quotes from Peter Pan and they are analogous for what will happen, more or less in the chapter. An interesting take, and she really does make Peter seem like the boy that would not grow up but it also makes for a bad lover. This made the first 1/2 of the book pretty boring. I did like the ending and loved Wendell's family.

I've liked a lot of Bonnie Dee's other stories and will not let this keep me from reading her others. I think mainly it was hard to take Peter Pan as anything but a fling.

55%- Wow, pretty bad up to here. Seems like Peter is becoming less sociopathic but pretty much he is self-centered and uncaring. I get that he is supposed to be "young" and "care free" but he comes out as flippant. I don't see what Wendell see in him other than looks until they talk, now more than 1/2 way through.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audible Review

Overall 3 out of 5 stars
Performance 5 out of 5 stars
Story 3 out of 5 stars

Wasn't quite as good as I hoped.
Once again the narration by Todd Scott was terrific. There were a lot of characters to voice in this book and he did a phenomenal job differentiating them all, bravo!
Unfortunately I didn't like this story as much as I had hoped. I think it was mostly because Peter and Wendell really didn't spend a whole lot of time together, Peter was with his friends and father more than anything. I also found him to be very childish, and while I know this was a play on Peter Pan, it got to be a little irritating. Wendell was my favorite character. I thought he was really sweet.
With about an hour to go I almost threw in the towel, but there was just an hour left so I kept on. I liked the ending, it did make the listen worthwhile- along with the narration!

[CrabbyPatty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay ... I don't like the much beloved Christmas Carol. AND, I'm not a fan of Peter Pan. There. I said it. And yet, my cold dark heart ended up being .... somewhat fond of this take on the classic story of the boy who doesn't want to grow up.

I liked how the author wove elements of the classic story into this tale of Peter, who spends his nights at Ever Lads with his friend Tinker and has an absolutely horrid father, who just happens to have a hook for a hand.

And when he meets respectable banker Wendell (whose brothers are John and Michael), Peter finally realizes that freezing one's heart and emotions because the pain of the real world and resolving to merely have fun and remain youthful is not the answer. Maybe being staid and content is not so bad after all, when you can envision spending your years with a man you adore. 4 stars.

[Ronie Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

#readanebookweek has offered even more choice reading options. I wasn't aware there are author's whom travel only in ebook format. Here I feel so privileged to purchase the trade back. If I'm feeling randy the audiobook.

Here we have the patrons of Never Lads. People daring the world just by their existence. Here is where we meet Wendell. As he is introduced to Peter. A son of a proper family. Who's hijinks entertains with their outrageousness.

Yelp! A retelling of The Adventures of Peter Pan.I cried. I cheered. I cursed parents. I commended a brothers understanding. As usual I am assured humans can be more than what society demands they be. Resources to advance corperations, the rich and politicians goals. #IAWThoughts it was pleasure to purchase the ebook and audiobook.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Bonnie Dee is writing a story, it always pulls at the heartstrings. This retelling of Peter Pan wasn't quite as emotionally compelling as some of her stories, but Peter and Wendell had me on the edge of my figurative seat about what was going to happen at one point.

Spoiler Alert:


I just listened to a podcast about Victorian London that addressed in great detail the raids that happened at clubs like the one described in this story. I am impressed at how accurate Bonnie is with the details. The accuracy of the raid and the deal that Peter had to make had me pretty scared for a lack of a happy ending. I shouldn't have doubted Bonnie; she does that to me every book! A solid B.

[Emmie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Peter Pan retellings, normally, especially ones with a queer twist, but this one just did not do it for me. The characters felt flat and the plot was boring. I was even actively getting annoyed at Peter, but then I switched from the audiobook to the ebook and then he was tolerable, so part of it was the narration for me. Still, I was a little dissapointed, because I read some other works by this author that I liked a lot more.

[Vanillabean · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book, but I would have liked it more if it weren’t trying to be a Peter Pan story. The parallels were cleverly done, but it felt somewhat sacrilegious to me to turn Peter Pan into a love story. And I hate the “they need to grow up” thing, both in general and because it shows the author doesn’t understand what Peter Pan is about.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up.

I may be giving this a little more credit than I should because I was very meh about it as I listened to it. It's a decent retelling of Peter Pan, but I never really felt their connection. I actually only know the Disney version of the story as well so I probably missed things. I will have to read Peter Pan soon.

[Jackson Garton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most straight women don't know how to write intimate scenes between queer men. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I loved the writing, and the story, but it's very obvious that this was some weird fan-fic geared toward women who read about gay male lovers.

Nothing ever slips in that easily the first time.

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a sucker for all things Peter Pan. I don't usually enjoy retellings but read them anyways.

This was more enjoyable than I was expecting. There were a couple loose ends and a pretty abrupt ending. If there were 50ish more pages I'd have liked this a lot more.

[measure twice]

3+

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice homage to the original story, but with a historical male/male take on it. It’s all fantastical, so don’t think too hard about the plot details.

Bought as part of audible escape package.

[Mic_Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audible

[Ashley GR · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a clever take on Peter Pan. I listened to the audio book and thought it was done well.

[Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was enjoyable, but not particularly captivating or memorable. So kinda middle of the road overall.

[Liv · Rating 1 out of 5]

Idk it was just bad. Bad writing bad vibes. Made me feel icky. Only made it like an hour into it I'm pretty sure. It's like Peter Pan meets emo. No thanks.

[Jess Candela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review Summary: A fun adult adaptation of a childhood classic.

Review: I loved this story while reading it, got deeply engaged with the characters and felt like the setting was painted so vividly I was almost there. It stayed with me, so even when I had to set it aside for a while to do other things, I’d find myself thinking about it and wondering what Wendell and Peter were up to. And yet, despite all that, I never felt a compulsion to pick it back up to find out. I don’t know whether that was due to something about the book that others might also experience, or if my mood or the alignment of the planets at the time was responsible. Usually a book that pulls me in and stays with me when I set it down is a book I eagerly pick back up again at the first opportunity.

Despite my perplexity about that one factor, it was an excellent book and a fun adaptation of the childhood classic. Peter starts out every bit the flighty, careless boy intent only on the pursuit of pleasure and entertainment. Wendell is staid and conservative, though obviously wanting to break free of that to some extent or he wouldn’t have gone to the club in the first place. But even at the beginning there are hints of who they are to become later. Wendell’s hint is obvious: his presence at Ever Lads. With Peter it’s more subtle, but we’re given enough information about his formative years to understand why he is the way he is, and why he might not find that a satisfactory way to be forever. There’s an implied yearning for more that he buries deep and tries to ignore.

The development of their relationship and stronger feelings for each other is done very believably. It starts out as casual sex. At least, it’s casual for Peter, with Wendell acknowledging that’s what it is even if he might wish otherwise. Wendell’s initial desire for more is an obvious result of his basic personality rather than anything about Peter; Wendell is not a man who does anything casually. And even at the beginning, we see Peter surprised by how drawn he feels to Wendell. This was insta-lust between complementary people at its finest, with falling in love an almost inevitable outcome given how well they mesh and how great the sex is.

All the sex was hot and furthered the plot and character development, but there was one scene I found unusually realistic in its depiction of thoughts during sex. As Wendell ejaculated onto the carpet, he thought:

“The carpet will be stained. The thought flitted through his mind like a bit of twig caught in a whirlwind of feelings. Peter. Peter is with me now, at last! That thought seemed much more pertinent and he allowed it to rush through him along with his orgasm.”

The blurb intimates that Peter sacrifices his freedom to save Wendell, so I’m not giving away any spoilers to say that’s when we first begin to see Peter really grow up. His maturation perhaps started earlier, and certainly continued after, but that was the moment it was first apparent. I found myself thinking “roots and wings” as I read this; Wendell provided Peter with roots (a feeling of home, a place to belong), and Peter gave Wendell wings (the freedom to explore and play). As Peter says at one point:

“We balance each other like two sides of a coin. I tend toward the rash. You’re as solid as a rock. What could fit together better?”

There was one very convenient coincidence near the end that I thought unnecessary; the same result could have been achieved more naturally, and I’d have found it more believable. There were also a few places the wrong name was obviously used, but they were minimal and didn’t detract from the story much at all. These were minor niggles in an overall fun and satisfying story, with a few secondary characters I’d love to see get their own stories and HEAs.

This review was originally posted at Reviews by Jessewave, where I received the book for free in exchange for an honest review.