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448 pages, Paperback
First published May 31, 2022
From this moment forward it was all going to be about our father, and the great purpose of her life would be to love him enough to relieve him of his great burden, and to free him from that one, terrible shard of time in which he was so unfairly trapped, and to salve at last that wound of his, that one that wouldn't heal.
But she knew what he'd done, and she was here anyway. Something inside him slipped into place: not love, not a sudden recognition of his own terrible loneliness, not even desire. Only he thought, looking at her, noting the obvious nervousness as she spoke and understanding that she wanted, for some unfathomable reason, his good opinion: Why not? Here was a pretty, amiable girl who seemed to have decided, apparently on the spot, that the redress of his great personal tragedy—for the record, not his own cosmic view of the matter—ought to be her purpose in life, or at least its priority.
The three of them might rise but they simply declined to converge, even if they happened to actually share some interest or preference...To call them individually, in their distinct ways, "quiet" or "self-reliant," for example, was to ignore the fact that Sally isolated herself to feel annoyed, Lewyn to feel wounded, and Harrison simply to escape the other two. So powerful was the force of their mutual aversion, and so ironic, given they had never actually been apart, that you might even have said it was the single thing they actually did share.
Finally, finally, the tiniest pinprick of reality came through the force field of her stubborn delusion, presenting Johanna with the first filament of an idea that it had all been a failure. They were two adults plus three children, made concurrently. They were five humans cohabiting. They were not, and never had been, a family.
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