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Faking It: My Life in Transition
Kyle Mewburn grew up in the sunburnt, unsophisticated Brisbane suburbs of the 1960s and '70s in a household with little love and no books, with a lifelong feeling of being somehow wrong - like 'strawberry jam in a spinach can'. In this book, Kyle describes this early life and her journey to becoming her own person - a celebrated children's book author, a husband and, finally, a woman. This is a heartbreaking, often hilarious, candid true story about what it means to hide from yourself, your partner and the world, and then to attain the freedom and acceptance of being yourself. A story with the bittersweet beauty relevant for anyone wanting to know and understand the trans experience - or anyone wanting to discover who they are and what they are meant to be.
284 pages, Paperback
Published May 25, 2022
9 people are currently reading
132 people want to read
About the author
Kyle Mewburn
97 books15 followersKyle Mewburn is an amazingly versatile and prolific author who has written many picture books including the award-winning Old Hu-Hu (NZ Post Book of the Year 2010) and Kiss! Kiss! Yuck! Yuck! (NZ Post Picture Book Award winner 2007), as well as the junior chapter books Do Not Push and four titles in the super-popular (and super-gross!) Dinosaur Rescue series.
Born in Brisbane, Australia, Kyle now lives in Millers Flat in Central Otago, New Zealand.
Born in Brisbane, Australia, Kyle now lives in Millers Flat in Central Otago, New Zealand.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
July 11, 2021
I admit to bias right here and now. I know Kyle, and have been a cheerleader for this book, have been excited to read it and absolutely thrilled that it was published.
We get to look inside the brain and heart of someone who grew up knowing they were born in the wrong body, who repressed feelings of being born the wrong gender for the largest chunk of their lives, who finally is able to live the life they've always wanted to. Who has finally in her 50s been able to emerge as Kyle the woman rather than Kyle the uncomfortable in himself man. This book is a treat, it is at times uncomfortable, especially reading about the relationships in the family growing up. Kyle always trying to prove manliness and feign an interest in the things expected.
There are lots of uncomfortable moments as we read of the relationship with Kyle's wife Marion who deals with a bunch of emotional stuff alongside Kyle. I think I found this the hardest, it is all so exposing. Alongside the uncomfortable there is a sense of humour, you'd expect that from Kyle, who is a deeply funny wit. It is personal, revealing, and always full of the heart you'd expect from this wonderful person. A person who has been through the most extraordinary experiences, shared a life of richness and value with Marion, who comes out of this as a pillar of strength and a huge comfort through it all. Kyle's honesty, at times brutal, is key to this book. I think that that is what makes it so valuable, we are in no doubt at all about how hard the journey is, what the destination brings, that even when you reach the goal, you get to live the life you've dreamed of, that it comes with challenges, but that challenges are easier to deal with when you live as you are truly meant to be.
My copy of the book is out in the world, with someone who has the power to make changes which will ensure the lives of trans people will have an easier time. That's brilliant. My mum has read it, she loved it. This book has the ability to change attitudes and influence traditional values. I find that thrilling.
When I came here to write this I got a shock, there in the author profile is old Kyle. I haven't seen that face for a long time, I'm now totally used to seeing Kyle in her new iteration, I did a double take.
We get to look inside the brain and heart of someone who grew up knowing they were born in the wrong body, who repressed feelings of being born the wrong gender for the largest chunk of their lives, who finally is able to live the life they've always wanted to. Who has finally in her 50s been able to emerge as Kyle the woman rather than Kyle the uncomfortable in himself man. This book is a treat, it is at times uncomfortable, especially reading about the relationships in the family growing up. Kyle always trying to prove manliness and feign an interest in the things expected.
There are lots of uncomfortable moments as we read of the relationship with Kyle's wife Marion who deals with a bunch of emotional stuff alongside Kyle. I think I found this the hardest, it is all so exposing. Alongside the uncomfortable there is a sense of humour, you'd expect that from Kyle, who is a deeply funny wit. It is personal, revealing, and always full of the heart you'd expect from this wonderful person. A person who has been through the most extraordinary experiences, shared a life of richness and value with Marion, who comes out of this as a pillar of strength and a huge comfort through it all. Kyle's honesty, at times brutal, is key to this book. I think that that is what makes it so valuable, we are in no doubt at all about how hard the journey is, what the destination brings, that even when you reach the goal, you get to live the life you've dreamed of, that it comes with challenges, but that challenges are easier to deal with when you live as you are truly meant to be.
My copy of the book is out in the world, with someone who has the power to make changes which will ensure the lives of trans people will have an easier time. That's brilliant. My mum has read it, she loved it. This book has the ability to change attitudes and influence traditional values. I find that thrilling.
When I came here to write this I got a shock, there in the author profile is old Kyle. I haven't seen that face for a long time, I'm now totally used to seeing Kyle in her new iteration, I did a double take.
May 20, 2021
I was fortunate enough to win a copy of this book from the author and, as a NZ school librarian, was very excited to read Kyle Mewburn's story about her life in transition.
Normally I don't read much in the way of literature for grown ups as I am too busy reading kids lit! However, I set aside the time - and embarked on quite the journey!
Kyle is actually Australian (I hadn't realised) and from an early age she knew she was a female trapped in a male body. At the time she was growing up in suburban Brisbane in the 60s, the time was not right for people such as her...
Transgender people were definitely not considered 'normal' and so Kyle ultimately decided to repress her true self and get on with life. The writing at this stage definitely has an edge of sadness, despite the fact that she was out supposedly having the time of her life travelling the world.
Whilst in Ireland, in the beautiful west coast village of Doolin (a place I have been to twice, bizarrely, as it is miniscule!) Kyle met Marion, a German backpacker, who went on to be her wife. Marion sounds like a remarkable lady and has been Kyle's rock through her transition. Their relationship seems to have come close to ending a couple of times, but they have always come back together.
They decided to head to NZ and ended up in the south of South Island where they found a community who welcomed them. They settled and Kyle decided that now was the time to come clean. She opened up to Marion and so began the traumatic, and yet uplifting, journey of transition.
Before I read the book I had some preconceived ideas about what the 'big' decisions might have been around the process, but I certainly had not a clue. There were so many little things throughout the process that knocked Kyle, or gave her joy, (Hair transplants, meaning she had to sleep upright for weeks; finding a perfect wig.)
A life in transition is certainly a roller-coaster and this is an enlightening glimpse into that life. By the end of the book the overwhelming feeling was positive and I would love to think that Kyle's story will be a bit of a beacon of light for those in a similar boat.
Normally I don't read much in the way of literature for grown ups as I am too busy reading kids lit! However, I set aside the time - and embarked on quite the journey!
Kyle is actually Australian (I hadn't realised) and from an early age she knew she was a female trapped in a male body. At the time she was growing up in suburban Brisbane in the 60s, the time was not right for people such as her...
Transgender people were definitely not considered 'normal' and so Kyle ultimately decided to repress her true self and get on with life. The writing at this stage definitely has an edge of sadness, despite the fact that she was out supposedly having the time of her life travelling the world.
Whilst in Ireland, in the beautiful west coast village of Doolin (a place I have been to twice, bizarrely, as it is miniscule!) Kyle met Marion, a German backpacker, who went on to be her wife. Marion sounds like a remarkable lady and has been Kyle's rock through her transition. Their relationship seems to have come close to ending a couple of times, but they have always come back together.
They decided to head to NZ and ended up in the south of South Island where they found a community who welcomed them. They settled and Kyle decided that now was the time to come clean. She opened up to Marion and so began the traumatic, and yet uplifting, journey of transition.
Before I read the book I had some preconceived ideas about what the 'big' decisions might have been around the process, but I certainly had not a clue. There were so many little things throughout the process that knocked Kyle, or gave her joy, (Hair transplants, meaning she had to sleep upright for weeks; finding a perfect wig.)
A life in transition is certainly a roller-coaster and this is an enlightening glimpse into that life. By the end of the book the overwhelming feeling was positive and I would love to think that Kyle's story will be a bit of a beacon of light for those in a similar boat.
June 15, 2021
The human spirit triumphs in big and small ways in Kyle Mewburn's courageous book, Faking It. Like the facial restructuring surgery and the actual coming out (especially when you're in the public eye), they're huge, yes. But it's the little things that get me—like how Kyle was never, ever read a bedtime story (page 27) and yet still went on to become one of Aotearoa's most prolific authors. And the image of Kyle—as a young boy, then a teen, then a young man, then a man—staring at herself in the mirror, when the rest of the family were out, secretly dressed in women's clothes and wishing her body hadn't betrayed her so. Wishing she hadn't been born in the wrong body.
She'd embrace the dream only to be disappointed again and abandon it. 'The only way to compensate for my loss,' she writes, 'was to live a life worthy of such sacrifice. If I kept busy, worked hard, kept moving, I might outrun my doubts and hopefully find some happiness along the way.'
It's the small things like still having the tape of the interview with his Grandfather, and loving him despite knowing that at times he could be a bad man.
It's the small things like leaving the house wearing a wig for the first time / or a dress / or earrings or...anything. And this is actually the biggest realisation for me from the book, how those of us lucky enough to be born into a body that matches our gender, cannot fathom how excruciatingly terrifying it is to walk out the door for the first (or second or third or 50th) time as your soul-gender.
And it's the biggest thing—the love of a lifetime between Kyle and her then- and still-wife, Marion, that is the greatest triumph of the human spirit.
Such a great book, such a cool, no-holds barred, human story.
It's a must-read.
She'd embrace the dream only to be disappointed again and abandon it. 'The only way to compensate for my loss,' she writes, 'was to live a life worthy of such sacrifice. If I kept busy, worked hard, kept moving, I might outrun my doubts and hopefully find some happiness along the way.'
It's the small things like still having the tape of the interview with his Grandfather, and loving him despite knowing that at times he could be a bad man.
It's the small things like leaving the house wearing a wig for the first time / or a dress / or earrings or...anything. And this is actually the biggest realisation for me from the book, how those of us lucky enough to be born into a body that matches our gender, cannot fathom how excruciatingly terrifying it is to walk out the door for the first (or second or third or 50th) time as your soul-gender.
And it's the biggest thing—the love of a lifetime between Kyle and her then- and still-wife, Marion, that is the greatest triumph of the human spirit.
Such a great book, such a cool, no-holds barred, human story.
It's a must-read.
September 29, 2021
Brilliantly written: funny, sad, entertaining, informative, honest (but without over sharing). Kyle is (and has always been) a great story teller. She treats her subjects with respect, is astute in her observations, but, most of all, opens up a world to me that helps me understand a little of what it means to live a life where you are force to fake it.
The story of someone I thought I knew but didn't and now I do a bit better. Thank you for writing this book but, most of all, thank you for being you
The story of someone I thought I knew but didn't and now I do a bit better. Thank you for writing this book but, most of all, thank you for being you
October 26, 2021
What an incredibly journey! The humour does tend to mask the pain and anguish a bit, but it is so very readable. Having heard Kyle talk about growing up, facial feminisation surgery and coming out, her voice really came through clearly when reading this. An important book for anyone who wants an insight into what being born in the wrong body can be like.
June 20, 2021
A very honest account of author Kyle Mewburn’s journey from a male to transgender woman and getting feminisation surgery at 57 years. His story will help others in a similar situation and promotes understanding.
September 26, 2021
A candid memoir by Kyle Mewburn, recounting her life from when she first realised early on that her true self was not reflected by her outer appearance, through facial feminisation surgery and hormone therapy, to living her life as she'd always wanted to.
This is a story about a woman born in the wrong body, the story of a transgender woman making the journey towards living authentically, and ultimately a love story. Kyle's wife Marion has made this journey with her and it is their story. Keeping secrets rarely has a good impact on a relationship and Kyle's struggles in concealing and repressing her true self takes its toll on their marriage. How do you confess your innermost secrets to the person you have been the closest to for so many years? How do you tell your best friend that you aren't the person they thought you were?
I appreciated Kyle's candour as it provided insight into what it means to be born in the wrong gender and the impact this has as Kyle tries to live her life first as a man and then as the woman she is meant to be. It is never a fun, easy situation, and there are many hurdles to overcome both personally and societally. It is all written with wit and grace. I was struck by the strength it takes for a transgender person to face a sometimes hostile world, the energy required to be oneself when society can be so judgemental, and the wisdom Kyle approaches it all with. And it is encouraging to see how folk react as Kyle transforms herself.
This is a story about a woman born in the wrong body, the story of a transgender woman making the journey towards living authentically, and ultimately a love story. Kyle's wife Marion has made this journey with her and it is their story. Keeping secrets rarely has a good impact on a relationship and Kyle's struggles in concealing and repressing her true self takes its toll on their marriage. How do you confess your innermost secrets to the person you have been the closest to for so many years? How do you tell your best friend that you aren't the person they thought you were?
I appreciated Kyle's candour as it provided insight into what it means to be born in the wrong gender and the impact this has as Kyle tries to live her life first as a man and then as the woman she is meant to be. It is never a fun, easy situation, and there are many hurdles to overcome both personally and societally. It is all written with wit and grace. I was struck by the strength it takes for a transgender person to face a sometimes hostile world, the energy required to be oneself when society can be so judgemental, and the wisdom Kyle approaches it all with. And it is encouraging to see how folk react as Kyle transforms herself.
January 2, 2022
I know Kyle, so this is a biased review, but Faking It is a tender, humorous, enlightening, heart warming account of a woman's journey to herself. Made me laugh, think and cry.
June 13, 2021
At times raw, always honest. A heartfelt account, often drawing on humour, to describe the trauma of living a life in the wrong body and the steps required to transition. A human story. An important story. Thank you Kyle Mewburn.
April 22, 2022
I loved this book and managed to go along and see Kyle speak about their life and work as part of Wellington's 'Verb' writer's festival. Such a moving, funny, truthful memoir.
November 6, 2021
another wonderful story of a person stepping into their truth. congratulations Kyle, i’m so so happy you’re happy x
May 13, 2021
Honest and compelling.
February 10, 2022
Where do I start? Kyle's story is an inspiration to me as a transman, heck, as a human. I think we all want to feel as through we fit in somewhere, in someone else's life and our own. Like Kyle I have an amazing, understanding woman at my side, and it's beautiful to see Marion's love and devotion throughout. Beautiful story with beautiful people and a style of writing that pulls you in.
July 13, 2021
I started reading, and didn't put it down until it was finished. A captivating read, and an essential addition to the canon of LGBTQIA+ stories in Aotearoa.
August 27, 2021
Memoirs are great because the writer (usually) introspects deeply, and thoroughly discusses their insights and lived experiences – it’s kind of the point of them one might say! Hence the incredible experience of living inside the wrong gendered body, and an expression on the essence of womanhood, was very appealing. Unfortunately, Kyle does not deliver.
In place of a deep and emotive discussion is a narcissistic tale, where Kyle is both hero and victim; obsessed with optics rather than substance. Most of the book revolves around physical appearance (both before and after), clothing, makeup, SHOES, and small mentions of sensations caused by hormone treatment.
After her change, there was an attempt to make the new experience of being a woman tangible with examples such as, being accosted by a drunk man in a café, enjoying knitting circles, and now having to use two hands to hit a nail with a hammer! Not to sound crass but people’s personalities and boundaries don’t change because their appearance has, men can be giggling gossips too, and hammering nails is a technique, not the physique. Nothing really went below the surface.
It is sad that Kyle had a challenging upbringing. Being bullied or ignored by the people who brought you into the world is cruel. Despite the disappointment with this book, I hope she truly has found peace and I wish her well.
In place of a deep and emotive discussion is a narcissistic tale, where Kyle is both hero and victim; obsessed with optics rather than substance. Most of the book revolves around physical appearance (both before and after), clothing, makeup, SHOES, and small mentions of sensations caused by hormone treatment.
After her change, there was an attempt to make the new experience of being a woman tangible with examples such as, being accosted by a drunk man in a café, enjoying knitting circles, and now having to use two hands to hit a nail with a hammer! Not to sound crass but people’s personalities and boundaries don’t change because their appearance has, men can be giggling gossips too, and hammering nails is a technique, not the physique. Nothing really went below the surface.
It is sad that Kyle had a challenging upbringing. Being bullied or ignored by the people who brought you into the world is cruel. Despite the disappointment with this book, I hope she truly has found peace and I wish her well.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 2, 2024
This is only the 2nd trans biography I have read, and it was really heartfelt and poignant. Kyle spent her whole life entirely sure she was born in the wrong body, but only able to try and be her 'true' self behind closed doors due to the stigma attached.
It was fascinating to read about how she found love (although not really in a physical way), and how despite their ups and downs, her wife Marion was such a staunch supporter of her. The two parts that opened my eyes most were the brutally honest fact that her penis is just an annoying protuberance that she never got any pleasure from (which surprised me), and how, soon after her transition, she and Marion held a gathering where Kyle sat with the women for the first time and realised how "right" that sisterhood felt to her (which didn't surprise me at all).
I ended up thinking how much I would like these people if I ever met them ... and I would also be so fascinated to read the same story from Marion's perspective.
*** funny how pretty much EVERY review of this wonderful book is written by a woman. Just sayin'.
It was fascinating to read about how she found love (although not really in a physical way), and how despite their ups and downs, her wife Marion was such a staunch supporter of her. The two parts that opened my eyes most were the brutally honest fact that her penis is just an annoying protuberance that she never got any pleasure from (which surprised me), and how, soon after her transition, she and Marion held a gathering where Kyle sat with the women for the first time and realised how "right" that sisterhood felt to her (which didn't surprise me at all).
I ended up thinking how much I would like these people if I ever met them ... and I would also be so fascinated to read the same story from Marion's perspective.
*** funny how pretty much EVERY review of this wonderful book is written by a woman. Just sayin'.
December 6, 2021
My older boys loved the Dinosaur Rescue books. Devoured them. I am eagerly awaiting the moment when my younger two discover them on the bookshelf.
That is why I purchased this book. I follow Kyle on Facebook and have always appreciated her communication style and honesty.
Having started and finished it in one day I really enjoyed the easy to read style and flow of the story.
I think this is going to be such an important text in so many people's lives. I have just today decided to start a book club with my friends because I need to make them all read it!
You have written something that is going to change lives. It will open hearts and minds.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself.
That is why I purchased this book. I follow Kyle on Facebook and have always appreciated her communication style and honesty.
Having started and finished it in one day I really enjoyed the easy to read style and flow of the story.
I think this is going to be such an important text in so many people's lives. I have just today decided to start a book club with my friends because I need to make them all read it!
You have written something that is going to change lives. It will open hearts and minds.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself.
July 5, 2021
Very familiar with Kyle's great writing, being a children's librarian and met male Kyle at a book festival quite some years ago .... I had no idea Kyle had transitioned and was interested to read about this journey.
This is a really good book - so interesting reading about his life growing up and as a newly wed before having the courage to come out and be true to himself.
Kyle you are so brave, reading about your face surgery was enough to scare me without actually going through that! So pleased your life is better and everything and more that you had hoped for. Good on you!
This is a really good book - so interesting reading about his life growing up and as a newly wed before having the courage to come out and be true to himself.
Kyle you are so brave, reading about your face surgery was enough to scare me without actually going through that! So pleased your life is better and everything and more that you had hoped for. Good on you!
October 14, 2021
Beautifully written!! Cried nearly every time i picked up the book, warmed and heartbroken by feelings spelled out so similar to mine despite the differences in our asab.
Orginally i brought this copy for my dad for fathers day, one of my biggest supporters. Knowing he had read this lines before me felt very special.
I havent read very much nonfiction so this was a great book to open me up to that more. Definitely i think my favourites will always be fantasy and dystopian fiction but i really enjoyed this!
Orginally i brought this copy for my dad for fathers day, one of my biggest supporters. Knowing he had read this lines before me felt very special.
I havent read very much nonfiction so this was a great book to open me up to that more. Definitely i think my favourites will always be fantasy and dystopian fiction but i really enjoyed this!
November 16, 2021
This book flows so well that I read it in just a few hours total. Mewburn tells the story of her life including her childhood in Brisbane, her young adulthood travelling around the world with her German wife Marion, her writing career and then her transition at 50 years of age. Well written, easy to read and engaging.
July 30, 2021
Author, Kyle Mewburn tells of her journey towards transition and after. It really puts you inside her head, you can imagine what her life was like and how alone she felt - always feeling like an outsider.
October 13, 2021
Kyle takes us on a fascinating journey that is not without it’s gruelling challenges, but remains hopeful and wise throughout. So much to learn here, giving me huge appreciation for Kyle’s sheer determination to live her fullest, truest life. And Marion is a star in her own right. Gorgeous women!
February 27, 2022
Beautifully written from the heart, Kyle's story is entertaining, funny, sad, thought provoking and real!
Very much enjoyed, and anywhere looking to learn a little more about transgender, and learning about yourself, should absolutely read this.
Very much enjoyed, and anywhere looking to learn a little more about transgender, and learning about yourself, should absolutely read this.
August 18, 2021
A honest, and often very funny, first person account of a challenging journey. I didn't know Kyle Mewburn before reading this, but I will check her picture books out.
January 30, 2022
This was such a brave, amazing read. I enjoyed reading Kyle’s story so much. And as for her father, what a wierdo!
February 19, 2022
Interesting and readable.
July 22, 2022
An enjoyable memior.
April 28, 2024
Picking this up again after meeting her way back in 2021. I am going to her book launch for the next book so I thought I better pick this up again.
"...alone-ness and isolation. Like I was floating in a bubble of light in a vast blackness of space." p17
An award winning children's writer shows here just how good a writer she really is. This memoir is so well written sharing the story of her life becoming true to herself. A difficult journey and so eloquently told. I feel honoured and grateful to have met Kyle.
"...alone-ness and isolation. Like I was floating in a bubble of light in a vast blackness of space." p17
An award winning children's writer shows here just how good a writer she really is. This memoir is so well written sharing the story of her life becoming true to herself. A difficult journey and so eloquently told. I feel honoured and grateful to have met Kyle.
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May 15, 2021A wonderful writer with an enlightening story to tell. I loved the inclusion of small details (I agree about nose picking for everyone and new shoes often being a nightmare for women). My heart ached in that moment of experiencing a man being aggressively sexual. The closing lines that to be unapologetically yourself is the best and hardest thing to be finished the memoir beautifully. Finally, one thing that struck me was how lucky any of us are to be loved in the way Marion loves Kyle (and vice versa). It appeared to me to be a relationship earned by mutual respect and absolute commitment and I salute that.
May 23, 2021
A heartfelt, enlightening story that gives one insight into the transgender world. A beautiful, easily digestible tale.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews