Helping Baby Sleep: The Science and Practice of Gentle Bedtime Parenting

by Anni Gethin, Beth Macgregor

Child development specialists (and mothers) Anni Gethin, PhD, and Beth Macgregor challenge the wisdom of the popular “cry it out” philosophy and instead advocate a responsive parenting approach during the day and at night. Mining the latest scientific research, the authors show parents how to practice gentle bedtime techniques that respect a baby’s neurological and emotional development. With this supportive, empowering guide, readers will:

• Learn why babies wake at night and need help to settle
• Understand how early parenting choices affect a baby’s growing brain
• Examine why “sleep training” is risky, both in the short and long terms
• Discover how to create an effective sleep routine and safe sleeping environment
• Explore common baby sleep problems and how to cope with them
• Find out how tired moms and dads can build a support system (and stay sane)

Sensitive, responsive parenting establishes a powerful bond between baby and parent--a connection that lays the foundation for healthy emotional and psychological development. Filled with scientific evidence, stories from parents, and testaments from infant mental health authorities, Helping Baby Sleep gives conscientious moms and dads the insight and practical tools to help their babies thrive.

“Helping Baby Sleep offers tired parents fresh ideas about how to deeply connect with their infant or toddler to support the transition from wakefulness to sleep. The book is filled with beautifully translated, science-based concepts that are made accessible to parents of all backgrounds.
The authors have done a masterful job of elucidating the importance of relationships in shaping the brain. Enjoy and sleep well!”
--Daniel J. Siegel, MD, author of Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation, and coauthor of Parenting from the Inside Out

“Gethin and Macgregor have boldly and successfully waded into the complex issues of infant sleep, creating a guide that gives parents hope and support. A magnificent gift to mothers and fathers--superb.”
--Michael Trout, MA, director of the Infant-Parent Instit

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

Published June 2, 2009

Reviews

[Kelly Kolb · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very different sort of sleep book. This book is a heavily evidence-based approach to helping babies sleep. It demonstrates the problems inherent in sleep training programs (cry it out, Ferberizing, controlled comforting, etc.) and the damage they can cause to baby's brain development, emotional development, and relationships with parents. Instead, it presents what is truly "normal" to expect in terms of baby's sleep, night wakings, etc. and what can be done in a more gentle way to respond to baby's needs and best support baby's (and consequently parents') sleep. I would recommend this as a sleep book for anyone who identifies with attachment parenting to any degree.

[Leynadawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok, I've read quite a few sleep books so far, just to make sure I'm not missing anything! Each time I read one I come to the conclusion, yet again, that there is not much I can do to improve my child's sleep patterns that I'm not already doing. While I enjoyed this book and it made me feel more confident about my gentle approach to sleep, I didn't get any groundbreaking info:-) if you don't want to let your baby cry it out and/or you do some version of co-sleeping, this book will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside:-)

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

For a book called "Helping Baby Sleep", it doesn't spend a lot of time on the title subject. Mostly an argument against sleep training programs, some basic techniques for gentle sleep work are included, but the focus is on what not to do rather than what you can do. Advice on keeping calm and making sure you, as the parent, are in a good space is an inclusion more parenting books should include, however, like many other parenting books, this one is about how you are probably doing things the wrong way and should be spending more time staring at your baby and doing stuff for them.

[Stephanie Shaw · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book about the importance of responsive parenting. Good information about meeting your child's emotional needs. Only downside is that the authors don't spend much time talking about gentle ways to help baby get better sleep! Still worth a read!

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I very much agree with the viewpoints the authors shared and appreciate their research and helpful tips.

[L · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pretty severe stories about how sleep training traumatizes kids. That's not the issue though. This book is heavy on theory about why sleep training is bad but very little on practical tips. It's an attachment parenting style book which more or less suggests you should sacrifice everything to be everything for your children. Not a critique of attachment parenting necessarily just overall not useful. If you want the tips, just skip to the last 1/3 of the book. If you are busy and looking for actual solutions to sleep, skip this which essentially can be summarized as "don't use sleep training".

[Kalin · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of the book is a bit misleading, because it's implying that the major focus of the book is on techniques for sleep, but the first half of the book is more a persuasive essay against "sleep training" techniques. While I'm definitely on board with their argument, the book repeats itself maybe more than is necessary. Still, it's nice to have this reinforcement that leaving baby to cry for hours is counterproductive.

[A.B. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Needed

This book gave me the permission I needed to not "sleep-train" my baby. I am exhausted, but going to sleep is not his problem, just staying asleep. It gave great advice for that. My attempts to sleep train my 2 year old were traumatic, I also have ways for both of us to heal from that.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, I know that this is a bit different then my usual reviews. But, I do read other types of books. Plus, I am not sure if I talked about it here yet, but I am 8.5 month pregnant right now. So, I am reading some parenting books and such to try and get ready for one of the biggest challenges of my life. I ordered a few books from the library and this was a place I started.

This book started out with why they suggest the version that they do and research they have again the opposite of what they suggest. What it seemed to come down to me is that the crying it out idea, letting babies just self sooth can cause issues for the kids later in life, and how hard it can really be for parents and children mentally. Then on how parents really need to be there for kids, listen and follow the clues the kids offer to you and what the clues are. Then different things that have worked for them and that they suggest or other things you can try.

There are some ideas that I will keep in mind from this book. But, it didn't really have a system to try, but that you should be sure to listen to your child and gave you kind of directions to go in. I think if I do run into specific obsitcals this is something that you could go back to that would be helpful.

I did find myself feel at time in reading this, with wow there are a lot of things a parent can do that messes my kid up, which were more scary then reassuring so we shall see how that goes. I am glad I read it, but it just reminded me that I need to keep learning, espcially when it comes to children there is alway more to learn about.

I don't know if I would necessarly suggest this book and seek it out again, but am glad I read it and did glean some insight from it. 2.5 stars and I usually just round up, so 3.

[Emily Biolsi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A breath of fresh air

After reading other sleep books that preached sleep training and discouraged nursing baby to sleep, I was left worrying I was doing everything wrong. My 9 week old sleeps well with support, but was I setting her up to be unable to sleep in her own? Should I already be trying to wean her off my soothing comfort? I suddenly found myself stressing her sleeping when I hadn't thought it problematic before. It was a gift to read this heavily research-based book which supported the soothing attention I've been giving my baby to help her sleep. Of course I look forward to a more predictable and steady nap and sleep pattern when she is older. But for now, I'm cherishing and embracing nursing, rocking, singing, and cuddling her to sleep. And it's nice to have the research to reinforce my decision to do so.

[Mariel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I'd found this book a year ago. At this point, with Redding almost 15 months old, it just confirms for us why we're doing things the way we're doing them. I would recommend it to new parents. Not a lot of pointers, but a lot of affirmation and support for those who are doing attachment parenting, breastfeeding and following their instincts.

[Carolynlstone · Rating 1 out of 5]

was more of an argument against "cy-it-out" than providing alternative means of putting baby to sleep. wouldn't recommend if your looking for methods to put baby to sleep. would recommend if you want arguments or guilt for using the ferber method

[JQ · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a nice read but won't help get the baby to sleep. I thought "Happiest Baby on the Block" was more helpful for actual techniques but this book has a place. It is full of statistics and studies that will help give parents a realistic view of how their baby should be sleeping.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved chapter #3

[Joanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

few practical strategies. Mostly focusses on presenting evidence and discussing argument against controlled crying

[Cherie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Talked a lot abt why scream it out method sucks. Wish there was more practical info here for me.