Accidental: Rebuilding a Life after Taking One

by David W Peters

How do we rebuild after causing accidental death or injury? Accidental injury is the leading cause of death for Americans under the age of forty-five. From fatal traffic accidents to firearms injuries to casualties of war to a deadly virus passed to an elderly loved one, accidental harm dates back almost as far as our human stories go. When these accidents occur, they pose profound and agonizing What do we do when a death falls somewhere between a murder and an insurance claim? What if we are responsible for such harm? Is healing even possible? Rooted in research on moral injury, religious rituals of confession and cleansing, and psychology--as well as the hard-won wisdom of someone who has been there-- Accidental explores the complicated reality of accidental death and injury and offers companionship to those affected by these tragedies. Author, military veteran, and Episcopal priest David W. Peters walks with us through his own lonely journey after he unintentionally killed someone in a traffic accident and the journey of his family, as his brother was killed by a bus. Peters investigates the cars, guns, and systems that put some people and communities at more risk than others, and then draws wisdom from ancient cities of refuge, where accidental killers could find asylum. Accidental helps readers accept responsibility, see themselves in the stories of others, be open to mystical experiences, and find absolution and community. We can begin the journey of accountability, forgiveness, and restoration by asking spiritual questions of grief, penitence, trauma, and tragedy.

Genres: Nonfiction

182 pages, Hardcover

Published November 7, 2023

Reviews

[MKF · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book has a few good ideas but it's not going to be helpful for non-religious or non Christian readers.

[Hannah]

Peters writes a self help book for those involved in an accidental death. Hearing about his experience is sobering. I’d recommend this book to those interested to learn more about Peters’ unique perspective as a vicar and a CADI (Causing Accidental Death or Injury), and certainly to those who have gone though such a traumatic experience themselves.

[halle · Rating 3 out of 5]

‘They walk among us. We know them. They are us.’

‘There appears to be enough guilt and shame to go around. We all feel things, imagine things, and sometimes can’t stop thinking about things that we have accidentally done or left undone.’

‘The car, not the bald eagle, should be the symbol of the United States. If aliens observed us from outer space, they would think we were a planet inhabited solely by cars.’

‘Just because we have not pulled the trigger ourselves, does not give us permission to remain wholly detached from such events. We, as a society, give police officers the right and means to use deadly force on our behalf. They wear special uniforms that indicate they are set apart from us for this purpose. We ritualize their initiation into this priesthood of violence, and they receive a great deal of respect since their work is deemed to be dangerous. But these “accidents” keep happening.’

‘Contrary to the popular understanding, self-forgiveness is not the work of a moment, like flipping a switch. Instead, it is a process that involves serious, soul-searching and discomfort. Self-forgiveness is not simply patting yourself on the back. It is often done in partnership with a therapist, a trusted friend, or a family member who provides that objective reality of one’s own forgiveness.’

This book was interesting, insightful, and thoughtful. I will say that the cover did not lead me to believe that this book had a strong Christian/theological approach. This is mentioned in the first part of the book, though. This is also not my preference when reading any sort of non-fiction.

It felt a bit messy at times, and there are many personal anecdotes from the author, which he connects to his own faith. I have no issues with this, and it doesn’t affect my rating.

Despite my icks with this book, I did pull a few quotes I really liked from this book that I liked a lot. This book also gave me a new perspective on accidental killings, specifically in regard to drunk drivers. I appreciate new perspectives always.

All in all, I’d strongly recommend this read to any curious Christians who are intrigued by this title. For everyone else, unless you’re comfortable with the theological teachings and anecdotes throughout the book, it’s better to pass on this read.

[Chris]

I am glad I read this, but I had hoped for more. This is an issue of my expectations - if I were coming to the book as someone in crisis/healing, it would have been very valuable. The author displays true empathy and care, and brings a robust reading to his guidance to those referencing his book.

Reading for education, the book served to introduce me to some important concepts and point the way toward denser reading.

Refraining from rating because I had 3/5 experience for a book I’d recommend as a 4-5/5 to the right person.

[Kathy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the idea of this book. I never really thought about people who had accidentally killed someone and how it changed their lives forever. It was interesting but it kind of got bogged down in places.

[Mariel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite literally not for me. I learned a lot and was very moved by the humanity but there is a lot of Christianity which can be a struggle.

[Nicole Yi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good read, but I think people will be surprised how religious it is. Didn’t see that coming.