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How To Live Without You
In this heart-wrenching, coming-of-age story about family, grief, and second chances, seventeen-year-old Emmy returns home for the summer to uncover the truth behind her sister Rose’s disappearance—only to learn that Rose had many secrets, ones that have Emmy questioning herself and the sister Emmy thought she knew.
1 pages, Audio CD
First published May 17, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 90 reviews
July 12, 2023
Ratings are getting so hard for me these days.
There are so many aspects to keep in mind, you know? There's enjoyment; there are themes and messages; there are characters and their relationships with each other; there's plot; there's my overall sentiment about the book.
If I just think about the message of the story, then this is 5-star book. There's no one way to deal with mental health in novels (and in life, in general), but this book discussed it respectfully, and I think that's a basic, common-sense first step of talking about it. I think it navigated so many different aspects of it with vulnerability and honesty (which makes it more special as Sarah Everett mentions that she deals with a similar mental illness in the author's note).
I also think that the intricate bond between Emmy and Rose, as sisters, was described and expanded well. And I related a lot because my sister is also my best friend. I like the snippets of Black culture in there, which made the characters authentic and relatable without making the whole story about that.
The plot is when things start to get iffy for me. Although this is a character-driven book, there's still some plot driving the book. And I've read enough looking-for-a-missing-person books to know that's not really the kind of thing I enjoy. I've read Sadie and Paper Towns, and both times I disliked the actual "search process". I only thought the themes and messages of those books were good. I wasn't intrigued or excited to see the reveal or anything.
As for enjoyment, the writing style bugged me at the start. Weird analogies and weird conversations. I noticed it less as the book went on because I got more interested in the story itself than on whether the writing was beautiful. But it was still a rough start for me. I didn't care for most of the jokes.
Since I read Everyone We've Been in 2019, I always considered Sarah Everett my writing soulmate because the things she wrote about (grief, family conflicts, friendship, mental health--those things are in all her books) are things I've wanted to write, myself, and that I've wanted to read. And I feel heard when I read her books.
Anyway, I still love her, and I'll read all her books and collect them. This one is a 3.75, though.
There are so many aspects to keep in mind, you know? There's enjoyment; there are themes and messages; there are characters and their relationships with each other; there's plot; there's my overall sentiment about the book.
If I just think about the message of the story, then this is 5-star book. There's no one way to deal with mental health in novels (and in life, in general), but this book discussed it respectfully, and I think that's a basic, common-sense first step of talking about it. I think it navigated so many different aspects of it with vulnerability and honesty (which makes it more special as Sarah Everett mentions that she deals with a similar mental illness in the author's note).
I also think that the intricate bond between Emmy and Rose, as sisters, was described and expanded well. And I related a lot because my sister is also my best friend. I like the snippets of Black culture in there, which made the characters authentic and relatable without making the whole story about that.
The plot is when things start to get iffy for me. Although this is a character-driven book, there's still some plot driving the book. And I've read enough looking-for-a-missing-person books to know that's not really the kind of thing I enjoy. I've read Sadie and Paper Towns, and both times I disliked the actual "search process". I only thought the themes and messages of those books were good. I wasn't intrigued or excited to see the reveal or anything.
As for enjoyment, the writing style bugged me at the start. Weird analogies and weird conversations. I noticed it less as the book went on because I got more interested in the story itself than on whether the writing was beautiful. But it was still a rough start for me. I didn't care for most of the jokes.
Since I read Everyone We've Been in 2019, I always considered Sarah Everett my writing soulmate because the things she wrote about (grief, family conflicts, friendship, mental health--those things are in all her books) are things I've wanted to write, myself, and that I've wanted to read. And I feel heard when I read her books.
Anyway, I still love her, and I'll read all her books and collect them. This one is a 3.75, though.
May 22, 2022
4.5*
After falling wholly in love with Sarah Everett's Some Other Now last year, I knew I needed How To Live Without You in my life. Turns out, I was right. And I do love being right. In this lovely book, we meet Emmy, whose sister has been missing. Emmy's family has of course tried to locate Rose, but the majority seem to think that Rose left of her own volition and will turn back up. Emmy has doubts, big doubts, so she returns to her dad's where Rose was living to search for answers.
What she finds is not Rose, but the ghosts of her childhood. And wow, it is hard to go back. It reminds her of when her family was all together, and she knows that no matter whether she finds Rose, she'll never be in that situation again. During her search for clues, she reconnects with their childhood best friend, who she has a very complicated relationship with now.
As Emmy's search for Rose gets more intense, she finds out a great many things she never knew about Rose. That in itself is hard to come to terms with, because Emmy thought that she and Rose were incredibly close. Obviously, Rose has always loved Emmy, but the fact that she was able to hide so many facets of her life from Emmy is a gut punch. But as the story continues, one thing becomes abundantly clear: this journey is going to be about Emmy finding her own self far more than her locating Rose.
The book tackles a lot of issues surrounding mental illness, so please use caution if this subject matter is triggering to you. I thought that the author handled the sensitive subjects very well, too. I also loved that Emmy had to come to terms with the fact that she can't ever fully know someone else, even someone she loves more than anything. And the only person she has any control over, is herself. There were a lot of wonderful messages wrapped into this book, and I loved the focus on family dynamics and relationships throughout. And yes, there is a bit of romance to boot!
Bottom Line: Another emotional hit with a lot of important topics and wonderful characters from Sarah Everett!
You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
After falling wholly in love with Sarah Everett's Some Other Now last year, I knew I needed How To Live Without You in my life. Turns out, I was right. And I do love being right. In this lovely book, we meet Emmy, whose sister has been missing. Emmy's family has of course tried to locate Rose, but the majority seem to think that Rose left of her own volition and will turn back up. Emmy has doubts, big doubts, so she returns to her dad's where Rose was living to search for answers.
What she finds is not Rose, but the ghosts of her childhood. And wow, it is hard to go back. It reminds her of when her family was all together, and she knows that no matter whether she finds Rose, she'll never be in that situation again. During her search for clues, she reconnects with their childhood best friend, who she has a very complicated relationship with now.
As Emmy's search for Rose gets more intense, she finds out a great many things she never knew about Rose. That in itself is hard to come to terms with, because Emmy thought that she and Rose were incredibly close. Obviously, Rose has always loved Emmy, but the fact that she was able to hide so many facets of her life from Emmy is a gut punch. But as the story continues, one thing becomes abundantly clear: this journey is going to be about Emmy finding her own self far more than her locating Rose.
The book tackles a lot of issues surrounding mental illness, so please use caution if this subject matter is triggering to you. I thought that the author handled the sensitive subjects very well, too. I also loved that Emmy had to come to terms with the fact that she can't ever fully know someone else, even someone she loves more than anything. And the only person she has any control over, is herself. There were a lot of wonderful messages wrapped into this book, and I loved the focus on family dynamics and relationships throughout. And yes, there is a bit of romance to boot!
Bottom Line: Another emotional hit with a lot of important topics and wonderful characters from Sarah Everett!
You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
July 14, 2022
I'd give it 6 stars if I could. VERY emotional read.
November 23, 2022
4 Stars
Trigger Warnings: Suicide, Suicide Ideation, Mental Health
This was a super hard book to rate and I don't know if I'm really going to be able to say why in my review. I'm going to firstly say that I went into this completely blind and I don't think I really had any idea what this was about. I think I saw this on someones Most Anticipated reads for 2022, thought it sounded good so pre-ordered.
When I started this I didn't really know where it was going, but I want to say this book is heavily involved with themes of Mental Health and suicide and when I speak about suicide, you see people on the dark web discussing these matters and it doesn't shy away from the topic, so if that is something that will trigger you, I strongly advise not to read this.
The depiction of Mental Health in this, IMO was done very very well, however not everyone goes through the same with theirs, you could get a sense of what was going on and it wasn't even in a way where someone would be crying etc, it was very much of putting up a front for the world to see while inside you had your own struggles... without many people actually knowing.
I think that maybe why this wasn't a full 5 stars for me was that in some parts it just seemed to drag, I don't know how to word this because of the topic and don't want to be insensitive to the matter, but I guess maybe it took me a while to become invested, Emmy wasn't a character that I necessarily enjoyed per se, but I did like her development throughout.
It's really hard to conclude this, because it wasn't an enjoyable book, but it really does make you think about other people and I do think it's important and very poignant.
Trigger Warnings: Suicide, Suicide Ideation, Mental Health
This was a super hard book to rate and I don't know if I'm really going to be able to say why in my review. I'm going to firstly say that I went into this completely blind and I don't think I really had any idea what this was about. I think I saw this on someones Most Anticipated reads for 2022, thought it sounded good so pre-ordered.
When I started this I didn't really know where it was going, but I want to say this book is heavily involved with themes of Mental Health and suicide and when I speak about suicide, you see people on the dark web discussing these matters and it doesn't shy away from the topic, so if that is something that will trigger you, I strongly advise not to read this.
The depiction of Mental Health in this, IMO was done very very well, however not everyone goes through the same with theirs, you could get a sense of what was going on and it wasn't even in a way where someone would be crying etc, it was very much of putting up a front for the world to see while inside you had your own struggles... without many people actually knowing.
I think that maybe why this wasn't a full 5 stars for me was that in some parts it just seemed to drag, I don't know how to word this because of the topic and don't want to be insensitive to the matter, but I guess maybe it took me a while to become invested, Emmy wasn't a character that I necessarily enjoyed per se, but I did like her development throughout.
It's really hard to conclude this, because it wasn't an enjoyable book, but it really does make you think about other people and I do think it's important and very poignant.
April 13, 2023
This book really resonated with me. Everett really tackled the suicidal and mental illness stuff head on. The hints and clues about Rose such as her dropping out, smoking, disappearing and leaving all her stuff... it's all so real. I'm happy with the ending and that Rose doesn't magically become healed. It shows that she'll struggle but she made the first step to get help and to live. Best book I've read about this kind of topic so far.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 19, 2022
Headlines:
Coming of age with a punch
Sisters
Emotive, challenging and rich
Mental illness
I know from reading and loving Sarah Everett's previous release to expect my heart in my mouth, difficult subject matter and beautiful writing; I got all those things. This contemporary YA was a tough read for sure but it dealt with issues in depth and with authenticity and respect. I do advise checking out the content warnings for this book which I've put at the end of this review, but please be aware they have some spoiler elements. Also do make sure you go all the way to the author's note at the end.
This book was about sisters, broken families, mental illness and lies. It dealt with trust issues, friendships, first experiences and betrayal. There was much to this read but not too much. Get ready to hand over your heart to Emmie and Rose, Levi and their dad. Those were my favourite characters. I was left rather conflicted by Chris in all the ways but especially after the later reveals.
How To Live Without You is the kind of read that builds and builds, so that when at about 3/4 of the way through, some reveals started coming, I was half expecting some of it but other parts shocked the heck out of me. I literally didn't put this book down much over the 24 hours it consumed me.
I am becoming a staunch fan of the authentic writing that Sarah Everett delivers on and the themes she frames around her characters.
Thank you Clarion Books for the eARC.
**Content Warnings** depression, suicidal ideation.
Coming of age with a punch
Sisters
Emotive, challenging and rich
Mental illness
I know from reading and loving Sarah Everett's previous release to expect my heart in my mouth, difficult subject matter and beautiful writing; I got all those things. This contemporary YA was a tough read for sure but it dealt with issues in depth and with authenticity and respect. I do advise checking out the content warnings for this book which I've put at the end of this review, but please be aware they have some spoiler elements. Also do make sure you go all the way to the author's note at the end.
This book was about sisters, broken families, mental illness and lies. It dealt with trust issues, friendships, first experiences and betrayal. There was much to this read but not too much. Get ready to hand over your heart to Emmie and Rose, Levi and their dad. Those were my favourite characters. I was left rather conflicted by Chris in all the ways but especially after the later reveals.
How To Live Without You is the kind of read that builds and builds, so that when at about 3/4 of the way through, some reveals started coming, I was half expecting some of it but other parts shocked the heck out of me. I literally didn't put this book down much over the 24 hours it consumed me.
I am becoming a staunch fan of the authentic writing that Sarah Everett delivers on and the themes she frames around her characters.
Thank you Clarion Books for the eARC.
**Content Warnings** depression, suicidal ideation.
February 19, 2023
This book is about Emmy searching for her sister Rose who went missing.
The first half of this book was so slow. I almost considered just dnfing because the plot barely moved. In the second half the pace picked up a little but still too slow for my liking.
The characters lacked personality and felt like cardboard cutouts to me.
I also really wished Rose wouldn’t have been found at the end. I kind hoped she would’ve been found dead because at least that way there would be more closure then there is now and it would’ve been surprising and new. However now I was left with still a lot of questions that I had trough out the whole book that haven’t been answered. The author should’ve made the meet up with Rose way sooner so I could read more about why Rose did things.
However it was a solid read and I’m sure there are many people who will really enjoy this book so don’t let this review stop you if you haven’t already. I am for sure going to read another book by this author!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 6, 2022
Sarah Everett's books are always quietly surprising; I like them more than I expect to (with the exception of Some Other Now, which I liked less) and they speak to me in quieter ways than I predict, often through subplots or little details rather than the main storyline.
Such was the case with How to Live Without You. Despite primarily being a mysterious Paper Towns-type scavenger hunt story, I thought the book was at its best when, after 300 pages, it shifted into a franker examination of mental health and its impact on not only those who suffer from it, but their loved ones as well. I wish Everett had spent more time in that territory, because the mystery elements felt weaker and (especially given how the ending plays out) relatively unnecessary to the story's final destination.
But I'm also just really, really not a fan of the "person goes missing and leaves a series of clues for the protagonist to figure them out" premise, so that undoubtedly contributed to my feelings as well.
Such was the case with How to Live Without You. Despite primarily being a mysterious Paper Towns-type scavenger hunt story, I thought the book was at its best when, after 300 pages, it shifted into a franker examination of mental health and its impact on not only those who suffer from it, but their loved ones as well. I wish Everett had spent more time in that territory, because the mystery elements felt weaker and (especially given how the ending plays out) relatively unnecessary to the story's final destination.
But I'm also just really, really not a fan of the "person goes missing and leaves a series of clues for the protagonist to figure them out" premise, so that undoubtedly contributed to my feelings as well.
July 9, 2025
Hard to Swallow
This book was a lot for me to digest. I spent most of it thinking it was good, but not enjoyable. I was frustrated with how drawn out the search was for Rose. Her hints and clues annoyed me. I wanted her to just say what she needed to say. The topics of depression and suicide were tough to face. I started to think about my own brother’s battle and ultimate loss. I didn’t find any of the characters in the book to be likable except Levi. He was such a sweet boy. My favorite parts of the book were when he and Emmy worked to patch up their broken friendship. The ending of the book surprised me. It was a lot to process. This book was triggering, but well written.
This book was a lot for me to digest. I spent most of it thinking it was good, but not enjoyable. I was frustrated with how drawn out the search was for Rose. Her hints and clues annoyed me. I wanted her to just say what she needed to say. The topics of depression and suicide were tough to face. I started to think about my own brother’s battle and ultimate loss. I didn’t find any of the characters in the book to be likable except Levi. He was such a sweet boy. My favorite parts of the book were when he and Emmy worked to patch up their broken friendship. The ending of the book surprised me. It was a lot to process. This book was triggering, but well written.
June 18, 2022
When 17-year-old Emmy returns to her childhood home to find out the truth about her older sister's disappearance, she may be set to discover some uncomfortable truths about who her sister really was.
This was a really, really beautiful book. The writing was so lovely to read, it really drew me into Emmy's world. The pacing of the story was good, it didn't feel unnecessarily drawn out but it also didn't feel rushed. It carried me along the whole way, even when Emmy as a narrator got a bit grating.
That was the only real drawback of this book for me, Emmy's refusal to hear even the slightest word against her sister grew tiresome. For a while it made sense, she clearly idolised Rose, while Rose kept a lot to herself. But as the book went on it just felt like she was being intentionally ignorant to the idea that her sister might not be the perfect person she thought she was. At 17 I felt she should have had a little more sense that no one is perfect, everyone has flaws and problems of their own.
Levi, on the other hand, my heart really went out to. He deserves the whole world, that is all.
The ending of this one really hit hard, it was really beautifully handled. Heartbreaking and poignant, I really loved it.
A beautiful coming of age story with beautiful writing, would for sure recommend.
Thank you NetGalley and Clarion Books for my e-arc of this title, received in exchange for an honest review.
This was a really, really beautiful book. The writing was so lovely to read, it really drew me into Emmy's world. The pacing of the story was good, it didn't feel unnecessarily drawn out but it also didn't feel rushed. It carried me along the whole way, even when Emmy as a narrator got a bit grating.
That was the only real drawback of this book for me, Emmy's refusal to hear even the slightest word against her sister grew tiresome. For a while it made sense, she clearly idolised Rose, while Rose kept a lot to herself. But as the book went on it just felt like she was being intentionally ignorant to the idea that her sister might not be the perfect person she thought she was. At 17 I felt she should have had a little more sense that no one is perfect, everyone has flaws and problems of their own.
Levi, on the other hand, my heart really went out to. He deserves the whole world, that is all.
The ending of this one really hit hard, it was really beautifully handled. Heartbreaking and poignant, I really loved it.
A beautiful coming of age story with beautiful writing, would for sure recommend.
Thank you NetGalley and Clarion Books for my e-arc of this title, received in exchange for an honest review.
February 11, 2023
Probably the book I needed to read right now. A bit slow but the ending was worth the journey.
February 28, 2023
a better Paper Towns but not reviewing HC books until the union makes a fair wage contract agreement!! :-)
2/27/23 I had a whole little review typed up but it got deleted before I posted lol so w/e just know that the Paper Towns comp is a good one, with a girl trying to find her missing sister and getting to re-know her childhood friend (turned lover?) along the way
2/27/23 I had a whole little review typed up but it got deleted before I posted lol so w/e just know that the Paper Towns comp is a good one, with a girl trying to find her missing sister and getting to re-know her childhood friend (turned lover?) along the way
September 3, 2022
Some books are not easy to get into but well worth it when you do. This book definitely fits into that category for me. I found Emmy to be incredibly frustrating and immature at the very beginning. Considering her book smarts she certainly didn’t seem to have developed the maturity someone with smarts might do. But thankfully throughout the story she developed and grew strongly enough that I didn’t dislike her as much by the end. Rose was complex, too. I feel like it went the opposite way round with her. I loved her at first but by the end I was less enamoured. Maybe that’s just how the story went. The point was that at the start she was this shining star, this leader who did things without apology and got what she wanted. But as we learnt more about her, it’s only natural that that shine wears off and the real her, the nitty gritty Rose, shows up.
The storyline itself was a little puzzling in the beginning. I didn’t quite know what the book was, where it was going, what to expect. The middle portion certainly brought the storyline to the forefront and the concept of a sort of scavenger hunt really appealed. It had its amazing moments and its really frustrating moments. But as a whole the concept was quite fun and enjoyable, even though the story itself wasn’t just fun and enjoyable (as in the characters living that way). This book brought about such a real portrayal of mental health and suicide that isn’t seen much in fiction. It wasn’t sensationalised, and it didn’t include language that is outdated and problematic. It avoided the detail that so often is mentioned when it comes to talking about suicide, and the author dealt with the subject matter with more sensitivity than most tend to. I’m glad I persevered with this one because it really did become a book I enjoyed a lot. In some ways I feel it would have even been okay if certain loose ends hadn’t been tied up the way they were. After all, not all unanswered questions need answering, even if at first it feels like they 100% definitely do.
The storyline itself was a little puzzling in the beginning. I didn’t quite know what the book was, where it was going, what to expect. The middle portion certainly brought the storyline to the forefront and the concept of a sort of scavenger hunt really appealed. It had its amazing moments and its really frustrating moments. But as a whole the concept was quite fun and enjoyable, even though the story itself wasn’t just fun and enjoyable (as in the characters living that way). This book brought about such a real portrayal of mental health and suicide that isn’t seen much in fiction. It wasn’t sensationalised, and it didn’t include language that is outdated and problematic. It avoided the detail that so often is mentioned when it comes to talking about suicide, and the author dealt with the subject matter with more sensitivity than most tend to. I’m glad I persevered with this one because it really did become a book I enjoyed a lot. In some ways I feel it would have even been okay if certain loose ends hadn’t been tied up the way they were. After all, not all unanswered questions need answering, even if at first it feels like they 100% definitely do.
December 22, 2021
Heart-wrenching novel about two sisters and the truths and lies we tell the people we love. Emmy was the most realistic of the characters, while the others were a bit more shallow and lacking in any real use, other than to move the plot along. The main focus of the book is Emmy's search for her missing sister, Rose. As she follows a trail of clues left behind by Rose, we begin to learn more about the two sisters and the lenses through which each saw the other.
Overall, the book had a lot of emotional twists and turns, and it deals with mental health in a thought-provoking, realistic way. The ending, though, felt at odds with the rest of the story - too convenient and easy to belong to the original plot. This mars the realism of the previous 90% of the book and leaves the reader feeling cheated.
Thanks, NetGalley, for the ARC.
Overall, the book had a lot of emotional twists and turns, and it deals with mental health in a thought-provoking, realistic way. The ending, though, felt at odds with the rest of the story - too convenient and easy to belong to the original plot. This mars the realism of the previous 90% of the book and leaves the reader feeling cheated.
Thanks, NetGalley, for the ARC.
November 5, 2022
As someone who has had suicide run and tear our family apart this hits home. The author did a tremendous job with this oh so heavy topic. One thing that I have learned is that you cannot live your life for others. You can’t be the sole reason why they live. As stated in this book I can’t be your lifeline. This makes me think of my relationship with my own sister. As an older sister you want to be your sisters all. You find yourself wanted she shield her from life and sometimes in doing that you forget to live for you. Depression is a beast and it looks different for everyone. It’s heartbreaking but there is help out there. I love Emmy and Rose! I also appreciate the little bit of closer Emmy did get.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 5, 2023
⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
“I think dying must be the scariest feeling in the world, that darkening of the world, that gradual loss of consciousness, that moment when you stop being yourself or anyone or anything.”
As an only child, I didn’t think I’d really be able to relate to Rose and Emmy’s relationship, but was I as wrong as ever. It was evident from the very beginning that Rose was Emmy’s other half, and I think Everett did an excellent job portraying her feelings toward losing her in a way that all readers—only children or not—could comprehend.
I do wish that Elodie had made more of an appearance throughout the book; I thought she was an important character from the beginning that was just kind of pushed to the wayside after Emmy got what info she needed out of her.
“I think dying must be the scariest feeling in the world, that darkening of the world, that gradual loss of consciousness, that moment when you stop being yourself or anyone or anything.”
As an only child, I didn’t think I’d really be able to relate to Rose and Emmy’s relationship, but was I as wrong as ever. It was evident from the very beginning that Rose was Emmy’s other half, and I think Everett did an excellent job portraying her feelings toward losing her in a way that all readers—only children or not—could comprehend.
I do wish that Elodie had made more of an appearance throughout the book; I thought she was an important character from the beginning that was just kind of pushed to the wayside after Emmy got what info she needed out of her.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 11, 2023
The romance was distracting from the main story and didn't work for me. I liked how the book turned and what Emmy thought was a romantic set of clues her sister left wasn't at all and showed that having a loved one disappear isn't a fun scavenger hunt. But the ending kind of overexplained things and I didn't love it. I kind of wish the book had changed perspectives and gave us something from Rose.
Sarah Everett is a great writer, but this isn't my favorite book from her.
Sarah Everett is a great writer, but this isn't my favorite book from her.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 16, 2022
Although this is not a happy read (it is a story about searching for a missing person), it is well written and has a happy ending. It keeps you turning the pages, despite the sombre central theme, as you really want to know the key to the mystery.
August 24, 2022
DNF @ 75%. Just didn’t connect enough with the characters & the plot moved verrrrry slowly.
July 4, 2025
originally i was content with not knowing what happened to rose. the progression was so enticing and the messages and character arcs pulled from the plot unfolding were so full that it almost meant more to me that i didn’t know, and more importantly that emmy didn’t know. however, in reading the author’s note, i
understand why everett chose to give emmy more closure. i was worried it would make the story less satisfying—and in a way, it did. emmy’s call with rose is not a clean resolution. the reader doesn’t gain much from the call besides (spoiler) rose is alive. and it changes the tone of the story because before the call, despite the open interpretation, rose was dead either way; the rose emmy knew was gone either in life or in presence. this new twist complicates the uncertainties as to how/if/when rose would reappear in emmy’s life and if rose will continue to live. the conversation between the sisters is full of hurt and some honesty, but like most surprise and difficult conversations, neither person truly says/asks what they want/need to. emmy even admits this in the seconds after the call ends saying she didn’t even ask her burning question—however, i think this change in tone adds to the story. it better fleshes out the argument chris introduces about choosing to live and further develops emmy’s understanding of independence from her sister. it is still open ended and although i wouldn’t say a more realistic ending, not all together that more far fetched.
i really enjoyed this book. i approached it as a semi-trashy ya read with low expectations, but was very impressed with how everett navigated complex and evolving friendships (the original introduction of emmy’s distance from her old friends was really fresh), family dynamics, and difficult topics. a terrific read and a (better) recommendation for anyone who liked paper towns
understand why everett chose to give emmy more closure. i was worried it would make the story less satisfying—and in a way, it did. emmy’s call with rose is not a clean resolution. the reader doesn’t gain much from the call besides (spoiler) rose is alive. and it changes the tone of the story because before the call, despite the open interpretation, rose was dead either way; the rose emmy knew was gone either in life or in presence. this new twist complicates the uncertainties as to how/if/when rose would reappear in emmy’s life and if rose will continue to live. the conversation between the sisters is full of hurt and some honesty, but like most surprise and difficult conversations, neither person truly says/asks what they want/need to. emmy even admits this in the seconds after the call ends saying she didn’t even ask her burning question—however, i think this change in tone adds to the story. it better fleshes out the argument chris introduces about choosing to live and further develops emmy’s understanding of independence from her sister. it is still open ended and although i wouldn’t say a more realistic ending, not all together that more far fetched.
i really enjoyed this book. i approached it as a semi-trashy ya read with low expectations, but was very impressed with how everett navigated complex and evolving friendships (the original introduction of emmy’s distance from her old friends was really fresh), family dynamics, and difficult topics. a terrific read and a (better) recommendation for anyone who liked paper towns
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 12, 2023
I've done it again - picking up a book without knowing anything about it - but luckily this one turned out to be some kind of a hidden gem, hidden in plain sight between other books I've never heard of in my digital library's catalogue. The cover attracted me first and since I'm not reading enough books with non-white characters I thought this could be next on my list.
The story follows Emmy as she's trying to find her missing sister, her other half, the one that gave her a survival list when their parents divided the family some years ago. Rose is only two years older than her but has always been Emmy's protector, her biggest cheerleader and best friend - yet when she vanishes for no apparent reason from their childhoon town, Emmy understands there's more to Rose than she had imagined. As she returns to the family home and starts looking for clues she uncovers ghosts and facts she doesn't want to know, making her wonder if she's ready to face the truth.
The style of this book makes it easy to read, and although it's classed as YA some themes that are covered I didn't expect, such as mental health. Partly a detective mystery and partly a coming of age story, it has a few twists and turns that kept me wonder what would happen next as I got to care about Emmy more and more. The ending is fitting and although perhaps a bit open, it's a reminder that every person walks their own path and this is Emmy's story, not Rose's.
5/5 stars, with a great introspection of the main character and surrounded by a layer of mystery - I would definitely recommend it.
The story follows Emmy as she's trying to find her missing sister, her other half, the one that gave her a survival list when their parents divided the family some years ago. Rose is only two years older than her but has always been Emmy's protector, her biggest cheerleader and best friend - yet when she vanishes for no apparent reason from their childhoon town, Emmy understands there's more to Rose than she had imagined. As she returns to the family home and starts looking for clues she uncovers ghosts and facts she doesn't want to know, making her wonder if she's ready to face the truth.
The style of this book makes it easy to read, and although it's classed as YA some themes that are covered I didn't expect, such as mental health. Partly a detective mystery and partly a coming of age story, it has a few twists and turns that kept me wonder what would happen next as I got to care about Emmy more and more. The ending is fitting and although perhaps a bit open, it's a reminder that every person walks their own path and this is Emmy's story, not Rose's.
5/5 stars, with a great introspection of the main character and surrounded by a layer of mystery - I would definitely recommend it.
May 1, 2022
When Emmys sister Rose goes missing, it feels like part of her has gone missing too. Returning home for the summer, she tries to uncover more about her disappearance only to discover that Rose had a whole different side that she never knew about and decides to step into her shoes and follow her last steps wherever they lead.
A poignant portrayal of sisterhood and family, this coming-of-age story explores the many versions we can have ourselves, and how easily it can be to hide who we are from those we love. As Emmy follows the mystery of Rose, she reconnects with childhood friends, finds out the struggles and secrets she'd been keeping from her, and learns about how Rose really saw the world, including her. The layers are slowly peeled away, until we finally get to the centre and Emmy can finally have closure one way or another.
Emmy was a beautiful character, I loved the way their relationships were written so compassionately and realistically, and raised an important discussion about the difficulty of trying to grow up amongst loss and heartache.
Note: Please read the trigger warnings before reading this book.
A poignant portrayal of sisterhood and family, this coming-of-age story explores the many versions we can have ourselves, and how easily it can be to hide who we are from those we love. As Emmy follows the mystery of Rose, she reconnects with childhood friends, finds out the struggles and secrets she'd been keeping from her, and learns about how Rose really saw the world, including her. The layers are slowly peeled away, until we finally get to the centre and Emmy can finally have closure one way or another.
Emmy was a beautiful character, I loved the way their relationships were written so compassionately and realistically, and raised an important discussion about the difficulty of trying to grow up amongst loss and heartache.
Note: Please read the trigger warnings before reading this book.
May 17, 2022
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing this eARC in exchange for an honest review.
How to Live Without You follows teen Emmy who has returned to her childhood home in search of her missing sister, Rose. Though Rose’s disappearance seems to have been on her own terms, Emmy can’t help but feel like abandoning her beloved little sister with no warning is something Rose would never do. But as Emmy digs into the why behind Rose’s disappearance, she discovers that her older sister was far different than the person she knew.
This was a slow, often difficult, heart-wrenching and thought-provoking read. Everett really digs in on mental health in a way that feels authentic and genuine. I cried, I laughed, I swooned, and I left feeling like I was given a little sliver of genuine truth about what it means to be human.
There are frequent mentions of suicide, especially in the back half of the book, which may be triggering for some readers.
Overall, I would definitely recommend this read. Though some readers may find it slow, and perhaps some characters could be fleshed out more, the story feels more valuable than any of its potential flaws.
How to Live Without You follows teen Emmy who has returned to her childhood home in search of her missing sister, Rose. Though Rose’s disappearance seems to have been on her own terms, Emmy can’t help but feel like abandoning her beloved little sister with no warning is something Rose would never do. But as Emmy digs into the why behind Rose’s disappearance, she discovers that her older sister was far different than the person she knew.
This was a slow, often difficult, heart-wrenching and thought-provoking read. Everett really digs in on mental health in a way that feels authentic and genuine. I cried, I laughed, I swooned, and I left feeling like I was given a little sliver of genuine truth about what it means to be human.
There are frequent mentions of suicide, especially in the back half of the book, which may be triggering for some readers.
Overall, I would definitely recommend this read. Though some readers may find it slow, and perhaps some characters could be fleshed out more, the story feels more valuable than any of its potential flaws.
April 30, 2024
bawled the entire read. this was insanely heart-wrenching :( but also like steamy?? my sister is two years older than me and my best friend - and at one point my entire existence - and I remember the day she told me how to live without her (SHES ALIVE SHE WAS JUST MOVING SUPER FAR). this book hit insanely close to home. levi was super hot. im still crying as i write this. loved the characters even the ones who sucked - i love how they were written and how they functioned in this story. i knew this book would wreck me after i finished “some other now” (recommended to me by my sweet sister) and that tore me up. this did so much more. levi was actually so hot like idk he was just doing it for me. everett has such a talent for processing the most complicated aspects of loss and grief. the anger and apathy. the overwhelming sadness and the laughter you find in between it all. just like in “some other now” everett did such beautiful work of unraveling the complicated mess of letting go. this one so far is my favourite of hers probably because i am emmy and i am rose and cause levi was just givingg.
June 23, 2022
How to Live Without You
by Sarah Everett
Pub Date 17 May 2022
Clarion Books (formerly HMH Children's Books), Clarion Books
Teens & YA
I am reviewing a copy of How to Live Without You Through Clarion Books and Netgalley:
Seventeen-year-old Emmy returns home for the summer to uncover the truth behind her sister Rose’s disappearance only to learn that Rose had many secrets, ones that have Emmy questioning herself and the sister Emmy thought she knew.
After her sister Rose disappeared Emmy finds is a string of secrets and lies that she never thought possible, casting the person she thought she knew best in a whole new light. Reeling with confusion, Emmy decides to step into Rose’s life. She reconnects with their childhood best friend and follows in Rose’s last known footsteps with heart wrenching consequences.
How to Live Without You offers the readers a powerful and intimate look at sisterhood, as well as the darker side of growing up!
Five out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
by Sarah Everett
Pub Date 17 May 2022
Clarion Books (formerly HMH Children's Books), Clarion Books
Teens & YA
I am reviewing a copy of How to Live Without You Through Clarion Books and Netgalley:
Seventeen-year-old Emmy returns home for the summer to uncover the truth behind her sister Rose’s disappearance only to learn that Rose had many secrets, ones that have Emmy questioning herself and the sister Emmy thought she knew.
After her sister Rose disappeared Emmy finds is a string of secrets and lies that she never thought possible, casting the person she thought she knew best in a whole new light. Reeling with confusion, Emmy decides to step into Rose’s life. She reconnects with their childhood best friend and follows in Rose’s last known footsteps with heart wrenching consequences.
How to Live Without You offers the readers a powerful and intimate look at sisterhood, as well as the darker side of growing up!
Five out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
July 8, 2022
I had a hard time not comparing How to Live Without You to Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy Ribay (one of my favorite books ever) because both start with the same premise: a relative goes missing, and the protagonist discovers that they weren't who they thought they were. Both books are deeply engaging, both address hard truths about real-life problems teens go through (PSON: drug abuse, HTLWY: depression), and both are beautifully written. As a narrator, Emmy felt authentically 17, and I loved the supporting characters almost as much as I did her.
I would strongly recommend this book to 16+ readers, though with the caveat that I think the author's note at the end of the book (and the resources provided on the following page) should be read FIRST, not last. I wasn't expecting the novel to delve as deeply into suicidal ideation as it did, and I'd hate for a vulnerable reader to be caught unawares.
CW: depression, suicidal ideation, sex (two scenes), alcohol and drug use, death
I would strongly recommend this book to 16+ readers, though with the caveat that I think the author's note at the end of the book (and the resources provided on the following page) should be read FIRST, not last. I wasn't expecting the novel to delve as deeply into suicidal ideation as it did, and I'd hate for a vulnerable reader to be caught unawares.
CW: depression, suicidal ideation, sex (two scenes), alcohol and drug use, death
December 26, 2021
Emmy and her sister Rose are not only sisters, they are best friends. When their parents divorce, Emmy goes to San Francisco with their mother and Rose stays in Ohio with their father. Six years later when Rose disappears, Emmy cannot believe that Rose would just cut off all contact with her. Emmy decides to go visit her father and she is determined to find Rose herself. The longer Emmy spends searching for Rose, the more she learns how little she knew about her sister. Emmy tries to reconnect with old friends hoping that they can help her find Rose, and discovers that Rose had been lying to her since she left Ohio. The more Emmy learns about Rose, the more she realizes that everyone keeps secrets, even her best friend. This was a wonderfully thoughtful story of relationships between siblings and how we all need to pay attention to the people in our lives.
August 20, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley, Harper360 and Sarah Everett got this advanced digital copy!
This coming-of-age story of Emmy trying to find her sister, who may be missing or who may just have taken off, is such a lovely written yet heart-wrenching story. It deals with grief, family, growing up, love and friendship. A huge part of this book addresses mental health and it's discussed it in a very frank and honest way.
The characters really make this story though. The whole cast are written with such depth and a huge amount of feeling. It adds an aspect of rawness and vulnerability which I didn't expect at all. It's not all dark and intense though! There are parts that will have you smiling and chuckling, and as endings go, I found this one to be very sweet and full of hope.
* Please research any trigger warnings before reading *
This coming-of-age story of Emmy trying to find her sister, who may be missing or who may just have taken off, is such a lovely written yet heart-wrenching story. It deals with grief, family, growing up, love and friendship. A huge part of this book addresses mental health and it's discussed it in a very frank and honest way.
The characters really make this story though. The whole cast are written with such depth and a huge amount of feeling. It adds an aspect of rawness and vulnerability which I didn't expect at all. It's not all dark and intense though! There are parts that will have you smiling and chuckling, and as endings go, I found this one to be very sweet and full of hope.
* Please research any trigger warnings before reading *
February 7, 2023
This was a tough one to pin down. I think the story is really important, and it shows a lot of facets of depression, suicidal ideation, and the effects on families. However, I didn't particularly enjoy it. Emmy came across as immature, especially for someone who was trusted to fly alone across the country, spend nights by herself, and basically do what she wanted. Rose's seperation list, and her strict adherence to it, seemed to have stunted her emotional maturity, to the point where her behavior and connection to Rose felt unhealthy. That was somewhat addressed, and while Emmy said the right words to show growth in this area, her behavior didn't match when Rose called her at the end. I also felt that her relationship with Levi moved way faster than made sense for someone who had only ever kissed two boys. Overall, I was torn.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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