Little Billy's Letters: An Incorrigible Inner Child's Correspondence with the Famous, Infamous, and Just Plain Bewildered

by Bill Geerhart, William D. Geerhart

What do Tori Spelling, the Church of Scientology, and Donald Rumsfeld all have in common?: They -- and many others -- have answered letters from "Little Billy", a grown man with a cache of stamps and far too much time on his hands. Funny, touching, and delightfully quirky, Billy's letters cover a broad range of subject matter:

Operation Drop-Out: Considering dropping out of elementary school, Billy writes to serial killers and celebrities seeking their wise counsel.

Billy's Law: Which Supreme Court Justice prefers the Big Mac to the Whopper? Who is Janet Reno's favorite crime fighter? What does Robert Shapiro say is the best defense for being framed for murder? Billy finds out.

The Making of the Class President: Billy runs for class president and collects "endorsements" from Nancy Reagan, Dick Cheney, George HW Bush, Gerald Ford, Bob Dole, Ken Starr, and Colin Powell.

Choosing My Religion: Billy asks representatives from the Catholic, Presbyterian, Mormon, Raelian, Satanic, Scientologist, Hare Krishna and Unification Church (Moonies) what is "cool" or "easy" about their religion.

Presidents, Supreme Court Justices, Celebrities, Heads of Corporations, Serial Killers, Robot Makers, and the NesQuick Bunny have all replied to "Little Billy's" scrawled questions.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Adult

256 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2010

Reviews

[Mary BookHounds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rarely does a book enter my house and then disappears from my desk so quickly that I don't get to read it first. That is what happened when I got Little Billy's Letters. First my husband grabbed it and then my son got to it. I finally had to steal it back. So here it is: a book that is suitable for the whole family. Well, only if you live in the Manson family or one like mine. You need to buy a copy for each member of family though so there is no fighting over it.

This book is pure creative genius! I don't think I have laughed so hard that I have had to put a book down and come back to it only to find something else just as funny. I think my favorite part were the letters from the serial killers. They are a little sad at the same time though. I highly recommend this book and it also makes a great gift. I am going to buy additional copies as gifts. Thanks Bill all of my holiday shopping is done!

[Guy · Rating 1 out of 5]

"Billy" is the disguise Geerhart uses to ask favors and seemingly childlike and naive (but often insensitive and mean-spirited) questions of unsuspecting famous people ranging from political leaders to convicted serial killers. The author relies on the honesty and vulnerability of the people he targets for his "humor." He's lying, and then laughing at people and publishing their responses when they believe his lies. This is similar to "Borat" except Billy is out-and-out deceiving his victims and often using sensitive elements of these well-known people's histories to hurt them. What Geerhart calls funny, I call cruel.

[Adriane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Less funny than I expected (not nearly as amusing as Letters From a Nut), but also much more thought provoking!

And example: Former Manson follower and prison inmate Susan Atkins' response to "Little Billy" asking if he should quit school was so heartfelt, honest and sincere I was unsure how to process it. I did think that had the parole board read it they might have given her compassionate release in her final days. It made me question the possibilities of rehabilitation vs. punishment, etc. It also made me feel a little "icky" that the letter from Little Billy had been a joke.

So 3 stars and I'll probably read through it again in a few months and see if I want to change my rating.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I maybe missed the point--most of these letters were actually really well-reasoned and thoughtful, and if it had been a real child eliciting these responses it would have been funny and adorable. Instead, I don't know--since it was this old dude, I feel like now that it's been exposed, a lot of these public figures won't put the same time and effort into answering real letters. Some of them were really amazing though--George Bush completely ignoring his request, Tom Ridge not signing the card (at least he sent it back) and the FEMA disaster coloring books were my favorites.

[Wendi WDM · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very, very silly book. The author pretended to be a kid writing to various people, including Charles Manson and a couple of his followers who were also in jail...actually the first chapter were all letters to people who were in jail. The part that was really weird (other than an adult guy pretending to be a little boy writing to very notorious people in jail) was that all the jail people wrote back and asked him to send them pictures of himself and give them more information about him. It was just a tad icky. Okay, more than a tad. A lot icky.

However, those were the most interesting letters. The letters from the Supreme Court judges were dull (except one or two) because most of the letters were written by secretaries or aids "So and So doesn't have enough time to write you back..."

Otherwise, I'm glad I'm just checked the book out from the library. It wasn't worth the purchase.

Whether seeking advice from former drug czar William Bennett about a pot smoking teacher or asking Larry Flynt about a Hustler for kids, 'Little Billy' has written hundreds of letters to celebrities, criminals, politicians, and more. Presidents, Supreme Court justices, actors, corporate CEOs, serial killers, robot makers, and even the NesQuik Bunny have replied to his outlandish questions. In this irreverent collection, Little Billy - actually a man with a wicked sense of humour named Bill Geerhart - brings together his original letters, the responses they elicited, and a host of photos and miscellany on a variety of wild topics, including: Operation Drop-Out - considering quitting elementary school, Billy reaches out to serial killers and stars for advice; Billy's Law - from who is Janet Reno's favorite crime fighter to advice on the best defense when framed for murder from OJ 'Dream Team' attorney Robert Shapiro to the favourite McDonald's food of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas; The Making of the Class President - 'Endorsements' from Nancy Reagan, Dick Cheney, George H. W. Bush, Ken Starr, and Colin Powell; and, Choosing My Religion - representatives from the Catholic, Presbyterian, Mormon, Raelian, Satanic, Scientologist, Hare Krishna, and Unification Church (a.k.a. the Moonies) reveal what's 'cool' about their religion. Shamelessly funny, "Little Billy's Letters" is a wry antidote to our celebrity-obsessed culture.

[Carlyn Brody · Rating 3 out of 5]

Little Billy’s Letters is a collection of prank letters written by Bill Geerhart to celebrities and infamous people. Bill Geerhart wrote the letters pretending to be a ten year old boy to learn what advice people would have for a child. He had help from a young relative who would scrawl the letters for him to make them look more authentic.

Little Billy wrote to many people regarding whether he should stay in school, what type of religion he should choose, what career he should have and many more issues. My favourite letters were about his dog dying and asking the cryogenics companies whether he could freeze his dog. The companies wrote sympathetic letters to Billy explaining how they couldn’t bring the dog back due to the tissue damage and advising him to show the letter to his parents. I also liked the letter to the National Hobo Association on advice on how to become a hobo or whether he should be a 7-11 clerk. Billy got a very nice letter back and free book.

think the book is charming, funny and cute in some spots. As Bill Geerhart sent a flood of letters to many celebrities and notable people, it gets repetitive and boring reading the responses to the same questions. I think this book is good for some light entertainment, which you can browse through like a magazine.

[Nancy · Rating 2 out of 5]

First of all, please don't spend money on this book. Look for it in your local library or borrow it from a friend. It's just not worth the $20 that this book purports to be worth. This book is a collection of letters written by and to a little boy named Billy, who is a figment of the author's imagination. The concept of this book is that Little Billy writes letters to famous people asking for their advice and then records their answers. I suppose it was meant to be funny, but I couldn't muster up a single giggle. The responses that little Billy gets are pretty generic and formulaic. Oh sure, the Nestle Quik rabbit sends back a coupon for a free chocolate milk. Who could've predicted that? I found the selection of famous people that Billy wrote to is a little strange...Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker...a hedge fund manager...Oral Roberts...Kenneth Starr from the Bill Clinton sex scandal...a person from President Reagan's cabinet...a person from the Whitewater scandal. Just strange.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the (mostly) pre-Internet age, Bill Geerhart had the idea to write letters to public figures as his childhood self - or perhaps as the little shit he never quite was. In any case, many of his targets wrote back, in what turns out to be an odd test of character for these celebrities, politicians, and company representatives.

Waffling corporatese makes up much of these letters, which is only amusing to the extent the letter-writers must feel ridiculous, but occasionally you get a real howler, like when Tim Russert autographs his picture with "Cheap chocolate milk forever!" (Billy did ask for a campaign slogan.) His commentary on Michael Dukakis' extensive letter ("Mr. Dukakis sure seems lonely!") is mean but undeniably hilarious.

But watch out for the Charles Manson letters. Oh boy, are those ones a trip.

[Bert Edens · Rating 4 out of 5]

Won this in a First Reads giveaway.

Imagine a young boy sending letters to famous people asking for advice. Now imagine an adult pretending to be that young man and actually sending those letters, and you have the premise for "Little Billy's Letters". I really enjoyed the letters in this book, from the letter to Charles Manson asking if Billy should drop out of school to the letters to US Supreme Court justices asking what their favorite food from McDonald's is. Some of the letters garnered replies from the celebrities that are just form letters, and it was interesting to see who all actually took the time to write a thoughtful letter back to Billy. Not rolling in the aisles funny, but definitely very entertaining.

[Bonnie Rock Jewell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book alot. The title alone garanteed a very interesting read. It was neat reading the responses to little Billy's letters. I knew every single name that was mentioned in the book and even learned something new about these people/organizations. I was surprised that some of these very public figures answered Billy's letters directly and the more sincere the reply, the more I pitied them for being duped. I would love to see a follow up chapter of how the recievers of Billy's letters felt about the hoax. I also thought the book was rather comical with Bill Geerhart's side comments, especially after receiving a reply that didn't live up to his expectations. My husband and children (10 and 12 years old) also enjoyed reading this book.

[Jaclyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I never got an email saying I was a first reads winner so I was shocked when I got home tonight to find this on my doorstep. I just laughed for an hour and a half reading this book. This guy is funny and has a twisted sense of humor. The irony of some of these responses are hysterical. Other responses were, well, less amusing but I skmmed through some of the form letters. Incredibly quick read.

I will say, this unemployed 30 yr old guy obviously had a lot of time on his hands to spend so much time with these letters. The letters would have been funnier if these were really from a child. But still, it was a good laugh

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very unique book! Bill Geerhart, while unemployed, decided to write to many famous faces to get their opinions on the thoughts of "little Billy". Some were interesting (The Night Stalker told him to stay in school) some were funny (Sarah Palin's dad said they couldn't go hunting in a helicopter, and LDS missionaries came to teach Little Billy the restored gospel) and some were just creeper (Charles Manson just sent him a photo of a wooden shack). Definitely something to pick up, and each letter is only a few pages, so a perfect bathroom book!

[Jax · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book caught my eye, as I've often had a fascination with letters (once having been quite the avid letter-writer myself), and was often amused by some of the responses given by the various celebs/public figures/businesses. Some were chuckle-worthy, but mostly, the responses were solemn, sedate, and seemingly sincere. The few playful ones were the best, and, I should think, would be the most effective in both informing and delighting a young person, should they actually write any of these people with such requests as Little Billy had given. Cute collection.

[Trish · Rating 4 out of 5]

I entered goodreads giveaway and won this book. I really enjoyed this read. It was funny, entertaining and some of the responses were disturbing. This book is written by Bill Geerhart, who pulled his collection of letters together that he has written to a wide range of personalities. He represented himself as a young "Billy" and asked their personal view from staying in school, opinion of being a class president, vices, to career advise. My favorite is when his "parents" are sent a letter informing them on what "little Billy is inquiring about." To funny!!

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun road trip read aloud.

The author under his 3rd grade pseudonym "Billy" wrote letters to politicians, companies, celebrities, and other famous (and scary) individuals under the guise of a class project asking for advice and autographs. The author's sarcastic quips on the responses as well as his obviously liberal biographies of the letter's recipients made me have to read several aloud. Most letters were written in the 90s-early 2000s, but he does include a letter to former Governor Palin.

[Judi · Rating 2 out of 5]

this book wasnt as funny as I thought it would be, but it was the perfect book to take along to the laundry-mat. Some of the letters to Billy were touching, but I was shocked that people like Charles Manson were allowed letters from a third grader! And wow, the Young Communist League allows children of 14 to join without a parent's permission; my grandson can't get an email account so he can get stuff from Yoomi-Zoomi. And at age 8 "Billy" was allowed an honorary membership and invited to take part in activities in his area. The letters to the robot companies were my personal favorites.

[Logophile (Heather) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this expecting it to be very sardonic and funny. There are some clear moments of humor but one unexpected thing for me was that most of the letters to Billy were warm, encouraging, and sincerely kind-hearted. Some were odd, creepy, or felt like standard form letters but many felt to me as testiments to the fact that we as a race may indeed be a mess but we haven't gone completely to the dogs.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book, and a great idea for a book. Thank you GoodReads for choosing me as a giveaway reader! I loved this book. Very cute and interesting letters from Little Billy to famous people across america. The resonses were great! A good read for sure, something to keep in the living room on the coffee table. A great conversation starter, and a good book to just sit around and talk about! Thanks again!

[Don · Rating 4 out of 5]

The premise of this book is that the author pretends to be a kid who writes to famous people asking for advice. More than just practical jokes (although Mormon missionaries did show up at the author’s bachelor apartment looking for “Little Billy”), this book reveals some interesting facets of – if you can stop laughing – well known celebrities, notorious criminals, politicians, corporate heads, religious figures, and others.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I picked up this book at a museum book shop, I thought that it was a book of letters actually written by a child. Had this been the case, I think that the book might have had infinite amounts more charm and appeal. Some of the responses were hilarious, some were downright disturbing - i.e., Charles Manson's response. I did feel bad, however, for some responses that were well thought out and sweet. I enjoyed the book, but didn't consider it worth the $20 fee.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick, humorous read. Very different from anything else I've ever read. I especially liked the letters from Charles Manson...definitly something off with that man still. It was interesting to see who actually took the time to write back and who made their assistant send out a form letter response. Cute, quirky, likeable book. I would recommend it to anyone in need of a light-hearted summer read.

[KT · Rating 4 out of 5]

I find this book fun and hilarious. It's a good read and one that would get my through the day. I share some of it with my friends and they were quite delighted with it. The questions are interesting and really pokes fun at everything and the answers were unexpected but utterly delightful to see. And it's all true.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Received this book through a goodreads giveaway. My husband picked this book up and started reading through it. I caught him laughing out loud many times. I paged through it and found some funny letters too. However, knowing that it was an adult writing the letters takes some of the funny away.

[William Fuentes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Genius. Adult writing as a child sending letters to Manson, the Nightstalker, President Bush, the Church of Scientology, and many more. "Dear Mr. Heston, My Dad likes to keep his gun next to the remote control on the cofee table. Is this safe? Please send me a coloring book, Thanks ! Billy."
Classic.

[Arjen Schwarz · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny book where the author had some pretty inventive letters he wrote while posing as a little boy. Some of the responses are really good, and at times you can only think how the recipients must have reacted when they received the innocent questions from little Billy. It's not the kind of book you'll read in one go, but reading a chapter is a good way to liven up the day.

[Pamela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this one for free through the Goodreads First Reads program. It's not one that I would have purchased, probably, but it was a fun read and there were more than a few actual laugh out loud sections.

[S. Renee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Filled with a few fun facts and a few funny responses mostly I was left with a pang for all the wasted time of the businesses, government officials, and organizations that took the time to respond to the phony letters..... Time is precious and nobody likes getting duped.

[Liz]

I had an issue with the deception of the letters; I didn't think it was that cute to lie to folks like he did. The letters from Charles Manson were freaky. Hands down the best response was from Robert Shapiro!

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good for teens and adults alike. A grownup writes letters to famous people, (the pope, Charles Manson, Dr. Laura etc.) pretending to be a precocious little kid. Collects his letters and thier responses. Funny!

[Danielle crelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

hilarious, shocking, and super fun! i giggled may way thru every letter. this idea was brilliant, i hope to see another one in the future! this actually made me want to write my own letters. this is a book i will definitely look thru often. well worth every penny!