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Keeping the Faith: Guidance for Christian Women Facing Abuse – The Invaluable Resource for Victims and Crisis Centers
Practical guide addresses issues of faith for battered women—an invaluable resource for victims of domestic violence and the crisis centers that counsel them.
128 pages, Paperback
First published February 27, 2007
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
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November 19, 2015"It is not an enemy who taunts me--then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me--then I could hide from him. But it is you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. We used to hold sweet converse together; within God's house we walked in fellowship." (PS. 55:12-14)
Even though I no longer work in abuse counseling, I continue reading books about it because, one, well, it's a passion. But also, two, understanding abuse and how to heal in response to it are knowledge and skills that serve you well whether or not you are a survivor or someone who works in service of them. It's information that helps you learn about who you are, what limits you have, and what lies you tell yourself that impede your road to healing from any and every thing. Most if not all of us spend a good portion of our lives figuring out what our wants actually are, to say nothing or enacting them. One way to find out what you want in your life? Understanding what you don't want, how you keep it out, and how you get through it if it ever gets in.
Religion in general, and Christianity in specific, can seem like a series of strictures put in place to prevent you from being who you are in exchange for spiritual relief. If anything, this book is written in response to that notion. The bulk of this slim tome is a question and answer section, which generally begins with a question whose crux is usually "I'm not allowed to want or do or feel this thing because of my faith, right?" To which the book replies with the scripture in question, and unpacks it in a way that doesn't invalidate your right to self-worth and safety. It weaves together the ideas of relationship rights with Christianity thoughtfully, reminding the reader, for example, that while repentance is an important part of being a Christian, it is not the same as remorse. You partner may have remorse for what they've done to you, but that isn't the same as having repented, which is good acts *plus* time. So while you may be tempted to forgive the person that harmed you because they appear to feel bad about what they have done, just because you are a Christian does not mean you now have to forgive and forget. Pastor Fortune instead encourages you to "forgive and remember." You know what you saw, what you partner did, you have learned and grown stronger from having survived those experiences, and you do not have to stay married to someone after having broken the covenant of marriage with abuse and violence.
Like the good book itself, it does not have all the answers. It's a framework. The easy part is reading what's written, the hard part is writing for yourself what isn't.
There are many valuable books on understanding domestic violence and sexual assault on your life, your loved one's lives, the world. Books that cover abuser psychology, self-reliance, self-care, and so on in much greater detail. But they're secular works. "Keeping the Faith" gives you Christian wisdom to help you get the care you need from the many other excellent books on this subject, but with a lens that is familiar and comforting to you.
Short, simple, and effective, but absolutely should not be the last word on any of these topics. I recommend The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men to start with. (The resources section of Why Does He Do That? was what led me to this book and many others, and you can find some of those on my page's shelves under "psych-abuse-trauma.")
Even though I no longer work in abuse counseling, I continue reading books about it because, one, well, it's a passion. But also, two, understanding abuse and how to heal in response to it are knowledge and skills that serve you well whether or not you are a survivor or someone who works in service of them. It's information that helps you learn about who you are, what limits you have, and what lies you tell yourself that impede your road to healing from any and every thing. Most if not all of us spend a good portion of our lives figuring out what our wants actually are, to say nothing or enacting them. One way to find out what you want in your life? Understanding what you don't want, how you keep it out, and how you get through it if it ever gets in.
Religion in general, and Christianity in specific, can seem like a series of strictures put in place to prevent you from being who you are in exchange for spiritual relief. If anything, this book is written in response to that notion. The bulk of this slim tome is a question and answer section, which generally begins with a question whose crux is usually "I'm not allowed to want or do or feel this thing because of my faith, right?" To which the book replies with the scripture in question, and unpacks it in a way that doesn't invalidate your right to self-worth and safety. It weaves together the ideas of relationship rights with Christianity thoughtfully, reminding the reader, for example, that while repentance is an important part of being a Christian, it is not the same as remorse. You partner may have remorse for what they've done to you, but that isn't the same as having repented, which is good acts *plus* time. So while you may be tempted to forgive the person that harmed you because they appear to feel bad about what they have done, just because you are a Christian does not mean you now have to forgive and forget. Pastor Fortune instead encourages you to "forgive and remember." You know what you saw, what you partner did, you have learned and grown stronger from having survived those experiences, and you do not have to stay married to someone after having broken the covenant of marriage with abuse and violence.
Like the good book itself, it does not have all the answers. It's a framework. The easy part is reading what's written, the hard part is writing for yourself what isn't.
There are many valuable books on understanding domestic violence and sexual assault on your life, your loved one's lives, the world. Books that cover abuser psychology, self-reliance, self-care, and so on in much greater detail. But they're secular works. "Keeping the Faith" gives you Christian wisdom to help you get the care you need from the many other excellent books on this subject, but with a lens that is familiar and comforting to you.
Short, simple, and effective, but absolutely should not be the last word on any of these topics. I recommend The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men to start with. (The resources section of Why Does He Do That? was what led me to this book and many others, and you can find some of those on my page's shelves under "psych-abuse-trauma.")
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March 4, 2016Although written by a Roman Catholic (I think?), and even though there were sections I didn't quite agree with, this was still a helpful read for understanding abuse. Set in a Q&A format, it has some great questions and some great answers too. I would just skip the devotional part at the end though. I'd love to write something similar to this from a Reformed perspective, someday.
June 13, 2021
This book utterly changed my life and gave me much needed hope and courage.
January 17, 2026
A very quick read due to the small size of the book. Mostly presented in a Q&A manner addressing various reactions of women in abusive situations. Never pushed for “remain married at all costs” but responses to presented questions seemed somewhat shallowly answered.
September 19, 2011
I don't recall the book stressing the point that there's no distance in prayer, so even if you strongly believe it a sin to divorce, you can still GET OUT and continue to pray and work on the abusive relationship from a safe distance! I believe women have a moral responsibility to safeguard their children and a violent home isn't a safe environment for them. So much of what kids learn is caught rather than taught... you can tell a child this isn't the way God intended for a man to treat a woman, but if you allow yourself to be mistreated, don't be surprised to find your daughter grow up to accept the same, or your son to grow up not knowing how to love a woman. You stop perpetuating this sin when you remove yourself from the abuse and set up healthy boundaries.
June 28, 2021
As a child raised with a Batterer father and sociopathic brother, I struggled deeply with reconciling my faith in Jesus to my abuse. This book helped tremendously. I am able to go no contact with those who abuse me and feel ok about it. This book truly spoke to my situation in a compassionate, realistic way to strengthen my faith, but help me to stand up against my abusers.
July 31, 2019
Marie Fortune es una especialista en abuso en hogares cristianos. Suele ser citada a juicios para servir como profesional competente en el tema. Sus libros son prácticos, cargados de sensibilidad y profundamente equilibrados. Este en particular, es una guía para mantener la fe, pese al contexto de violencia.
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February 6, 2020very good, the biblical references were in detail and relative to every possible situation related to one experiencing domestic violence or intimate partner violence. Give you an in depth look not only on the bible, but on how God views violence
March 19, 2019
It helps answer a lot of questions that wear on your mind when you are going through tough situations and if you know anyone who is this is definitely a book that you should take time to read.
May 15, 2019
The use of scriptures helps to understand religious perspectives on abuse. I didn't care for the quote section of the book. The resources were also handy.
August 3, 2012
How does one review a book aimed at sufferers of domestic violence, to help them understand their real worth in the eyes of God? I thought this book was very well done, but since I do not come out of circumstances of domestic violence, it's hard for me to judge how effective it would be for someone in that situation. However, I read it to see if it would be a good resource to recommend to people in faith communities addressing this issue and from that perspective, I do highly recommend it. Fortune sets up the first part of the book as a question and response, based on questions and statements she has heard from domestic violence victims over her years of working in the field, most of which have to do with scriptures that have been used to "keep women in their place" and justify abuse for centuries, as well as basic questions of faith. Over and over again, Fortune calls out to the women, "God does not intend this for you! You are meant to be whole and loved and respected." A strong message, strongly felt. The second section is a collection of prayers, Scriptures, and quotations meant to help women address their fears and embrace their worth in Christ; a third section is "Suggestions for the Abused Woman," a fourth section is addressed to clergy and church leaders in how to respond to a woman who is in a situation of abuse; and it closes with suggested readings from other sources. For those who are not in Christian faith communities, Marie Fortune's www.FaithTrustInstitute.org also provides resources on domestic violence (and clergy abuse) for Jewish and Muslim communities as well.
May 21, 2016
I feel this book has a strong American bias and only covers physical and sexual abuse. However, it ius a good resource for Christian women or men who find themselves in an abusive marriage. It is also a good resource for Christian ministers, pastors, lay workers, etc who may be called upon to counsel someone who is in an abusive relationship. I am glad that the author made a Biblical case for why separation and divorce is a good idea, especially with children involved. Staying with an abusive husband is not something that God asks us to do, despite what some religious leaders may have us believe. I think thus book needed to be written but I don't feel it was supportive to me in my situation.
October 11, 2013
The goodreads description is surely describing another book entirely, as this book is discussing domestic abuse of women from a Christian perspective. I read this to better understand the thoughts/questions/conflicts Christian women experience when they find themselves living through this nightmare.
February 27, 2014
Good book but there is room for improvement.
December 19, 2012
good book, very worthy read!
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September 6, 2014Simplistic but honest look at abuse in Christian marriages.
September 26, 2017
birthday gift from a friend, idk why,
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews