Spiffing: A Cosmic Horror Novella

by Tim Mendees

From Tim Mendees, author of Burning Reflection, comes A Cosmic Horror Novella.Bertie Lexington-Brown is famous for throwing the most spiffing of parties at his sprawling estate of Chycoose Manor, and the evening of his fortieth birthday is no exception. Only this particular night will turn into something rather unexpected as Bertie inadvertently unleashes forces beyond his control. What should have been an evening of drunkenness and debauchery soon sees his guests fighting for their lives.

Genres: Horror

119 pages, Paperback

First published June 8, 2021

About the author

Tim Mendees is a horror writer from Macclesfield in the North-West of England that specialises in cosmic horror and weird fiction. A lifelong fan of classic weird tales, Tim set out to bring the pulp horror of yesteryear into the 21st Century and give it a distinctly British flavour. His work has been described as the love-child of H.P. Lovecraft and P.G. Wodehouse and is often peppered with a wry sense of humour that acts as a counterpoint to the unnerving, and often disturbing, narratives.
Tim has had over eighty published short stories and novelettes in anthologies and magazines with publishers all over the world. He also has five novellas and a short story collection on sale with more coming soon.
When he is not arguing with the spellchecker, Tim is a goth DJ, crustacean and cephalopod enthusiast, and the presenter of a popular web series of live video readings of his material and interviews with fellow authors. Tim is also a co-host of the Innsmouth Book Club podcast. He currently lives in Brighton & Hove with his pet crab, Gerald, and an army of stuffed octopods.
https://timmendeeswriter.wordpress.com/
https://tinyurl.com/timmendeesyoutube

Reviews

[Neen Cohen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spiffing was a fantastic read. While it builds slowly, engulfing you in the every day debauchery of the ensemble cast it soon speeds up and the horror is palatable through the use of humour and curiosity as you want to know what will happen next. I found myself a little confused at the beginning with the multitude of characters but this confusion cleared up as I continued to read. The description, particularly of the more horrific and terrifying moments of Spiffing, is fantastic and tangible. Mendees does himself proud with a fabulous horror short read, highly recommended for a dark and stormy night, just make sure you keep the lights on.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Kristina Gallo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once again Tim Mendees proves himself as a master of tense atmosphere. Bertie, a local spoiled and rich guy, is in trouble, he is missing and his friend is searching for him, dead or alive. His past is full of mystery, he liked Egyptian mythology and mummies, so doubts about curses are hanging in the air. Also, he had a mistress, a promiscuous Ginny and it is only top of the iceberg. His party will become a nightmare.
In a manner of Agatha Christie, with a dose of sarcasm, Tim leads us toward a solution. He is switching off lights, making a short comeback to the past, and raising the reader's curiosity. I learn the word Spiffing as something new in my vocabulary.

[Sea Caummisar · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a spiffing party!!! Lol.
This one is full of some good one -liners, and a cast of characters that most could be certifiably insane and locked away in some asylum somewhere. When evil is released, these party goers get more than they planned for. It's location is across the big pond from me, so I think some of the humor went over my head, or possibly I saw humor where there shouldn't have been..still, evil Egypt stuff is pretty kewl

[Jennifer Hatfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tim Mendees is a wonderful author of cosmic horror. His characters, when they are alive, jump off the page at you and make themselves known right away. Even when they aren't alive, they are more than memorable.

Bertie (Bertram Lexington-Brown) and his wife Sylvia Lexington-Brown,
Virginia Alice Tailforth (Ginny) David Potter, Jane Penrose, Dr Frank Sullivan, Bongo, Rufus and Charlie all get introduced slowly so that you have a chance to get to know them each a little bit before Tim brings others into the mix.

He has a way of throwing jokes out into the most serious situations and causing an eruption of laughter from me. Here are some of the lines that caused some of those eruptions. They are simply lines from his book that, without context, aren't as meaningful. However, they will perhaps help encourage you to read more to find out what they are all about.

FIRST: “That daft lot seem to think that we don't know who is who," Potter explained in layman's terms.

SECOND: Sullivan wasn't entirely sure that he had. Stan was far from the sharpest knife in the drawer. In fact, he had seen brighter eclipses.

THIRD: “How many fucking times, Dave? I'm a bloody psychiatrist, not a surgeon. This man needs a crash team, not a couch session, you bloody idiot!”

As I neared the middle of the book, I began to wonder if this was a horror or a murder mystery or a bit of both. Either way I loved the tale right up until the last words...a spiffing good party.

Tim has earned all 5 of my stars with this book.

[Claudia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh, I liked this, a lot! I liked how cleverly we're soothed in a sense of safety. This is a parody, we thought. I'm having a good time with these entitled people, we thought. Bertie is having a laugh somewhere, probably with his mistress, we thought. HA!

Without knowing how it happened, we are soon submerged in cosmic horror of the best. The characters are great, and the mystery is really well done and the horror goes hand with hand with the absurd. It's fantastic!

What can I say? I'll be reading more by this author :P

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I get excited when there is a new release by Tim Mendees because I know it will be an adventure. We are immediately ushered in to an atmosphere of decadence and foreboding. The descriptions are rich but every word means something. Tim excels at immersing the reader in the story and allows us to believe the unbelievable. You can tell he is enjoying himself in the telling and those are the best books. The story is part "who dun it", part fantasy, part gothic horror, and all entertainment. It is indeed a spiffing story and is a welcome addition to the Mendees universe.

[David Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received and ARC copy in exchange for a honest review*

Spiffing is another fine entry into what I lovingly call the Carry On Mendees Cosmic Universe, and may well be the authors best yet.

Absurd and horrific, there are belly-laughs and frights throughout the novellette's word count a plenty. Mendees' characters are full of life... until they're dead.

Another fantastic Mendees story.

[Elizabeth Nettleton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another excellent read by Tim Mendees. There is so much I enjoyed about this book - there's an assortment of colourful characters, and a playfulness to the writing that makes it so much fun to read. There's also plenty of action and tension that kept me on the edge of my seat, right to the very end. I highly recommend it!
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Billie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a brilliant read.
Wonderful well written plot and story line that had me engaged from the start.
Love the well fleshed out characters and found them believable.
Great suspense and action with wonderful world building.
Can't wait to read what the author brings out next.
Recommend reading.

I read a complimentary advance copy of the book; this is my voluntary and honest review.

[Emma Leadley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spiffing is a slow burn of a book. And really does throw out the rulebook – the story starts with a line about the weather, which is something that as writers, we’re told not to do, for example. It has a very ‘Poirot-esque’ feel about it, although is a little but raunchier than Agatha Christie ever wrote. It was a fun read, with a scene that gave me visceral feels, a solid twist and The Old Ones. Recommended.

Read my full review at https://autoerraticism.com/review-spi...

[Candace Nola · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spiffing turned out to be one wild ride, far from the expectations I had at the beginning of the book. The book starts out a bit slow, describing a party being thrown by an overly wealthy man, Bertie Lexington-Brown, with his whole circle of friends, living it up 1920’s style. I was a bit confused by the set-up until it was made clear later on, that these folks were at a “period party” and thus, were dressed, speaking and acting as if it really were 1920.

A few unexplained slang terms were quite liberally sprinkled through the first few chapters, which almost took me completely out of the immersive feel of the story. I had to stop every few minutes to look up yet another slang term that I was not familiar with, so this bothered me a bit as I had to get back “into” story mode.

Another layer of confusion came about when it was revealed that the guests were to be enacting a murder mystery as well, for the entertainment of their host. When the fellow is declared dead by his wife, chaos ensues when they can’t find the body. Of course, several of the guests then go into character for the murder mystery portion of the night, while the others realize that this was not how it was planned out. As reality sets in revealing that something much more sinister is going on, more chaos and a fair dose of hilarity breaks out, as the drunken and fairly high party guests set about trying to solve the real mystery.

This is where the story truly begins to unfold as a series of ancient Egyptian artifacts are discovered, including a sarcophagus for a priest to a dark god, which was rumored to have only been a myth. As Bertie’s friend, Professor Jane Penrose, an accomplished archaeologist and Egyptologist, begins piecing together the legend of Nephren-ka, the others begin dropping off, one by one, in the large mansion that seems to have transformed into a giant labyrinth of hidden rooms and secret doorways.

The guests soon find themselves in more danger than they could have ever imagined, as the manor itself seems to become almost as evil as the entity that has been set loose among them. I was not prepared for how this ended and I fully appreciated the humor that was peppered throughout. Four stars for Spiffing, for a humorous but haunting tale of things that shouldn’t be messed with.

[The Book · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spiffing, a cosmic horror novella by Author Tim Mendees introduces us to the character of Bertie Lexington Brown, notorious for his hosting skills and quite ‘spiffing parties.’ However his plans for another wonderful night of drunken debauchery in celebration of his fortieth birthday end up being a cross between ‘Cluedo’ and ‘The Mummy.’

I did enjoy reading this Novella, the plot moving forward at a fast pace with an interesting mix of characters sufficiently developed to engage the reader and invest in the story. I loved the dialogue which brought the story to life and was so bizarre but entertaining that I actually wanted to attend the ‘spiffing party’ myself, although I would prefer to leave Chycoose Manor alive and in one piece!

I award 4 stars.

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[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is another one of those books where I can't really figure out what I listened to, let alone if I really liked it. Beyond the very proper English/British speaking narrator, it was just an all around strange story. People getting invited to a 40th birthday party and then all of a sudden it becomes something out of a horror show. Still on the fence about this one.

[Stephen Corbett · Rating 5 out of 5]

A rather spiffing,titillating, scary little book.
If Lovecraft had a sense of humour and had a bit of take the piss with his myth(os) then this is what you need.
Don't scoff at the toff or he will call on the Dark One to rip your head off!!
Enjoy the party and have your fake moustache ready at hand,or more like, on your top lip.
I will never listen to jazz in the same way again!!!

[David Hambling · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simply splendid!

A fun, tongue in cheek take on a Cthulhu Mythos adventure in a country house with perils, pitfalls, ancient evil, secret passages and a rather suspicious-looking butler…

A very English, very entertaining quasi Wodehousian romp

[Acantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let's be honest, who hasn't encountered a 'Bertie Wooster' style character and felt just the smallest desire to see the woolly brained idiot get his comeuppance.

Well, thanks to Tim Mendees, you can finally see what happens when you mix a PG Woodhouse style house party with the unimaginable horror that is an Elder God.

I was grinning by page 16 as these truly horrible toffs blundered about in gradually growing horror, and didn't stop smiling until it was over. As its a Novella, its only a short read, I finished it in about an hour, and I enjoyed every flesh melting moment.