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350 pages, Paperback
First published May 3, 2019
Sitting underneath the umbrella, the raindrops cast gentle shadows across Dan’s face, making him appear ethereal and soft. Something tilted in Ash’s chest, making the world fuzzy and sweet.
”You look at each other as if you’re looking at something you know you’ll never have, but you want it desperately anyway, even though it could hurt you.”
And, truthfully, the thought of being with someone other than Ash, of having what he’d had with Ash but with someone else, man or woman, had hurt too much. He hadn’t had the kind of intimacy and trust he’d had with Ash with anyone else since.
Six years was a long time to yearn for someone, which probably made Dan utterly pathetic, especially since Ash hadn’t sat around yearning for him in return.


Sitting across from Dan now, all of the old hurt came back as if Dan had left him at the airport yesterday, not six years ago. The devastation. The aching sense of loss. The confusion that had left him grasping at nothing. The realization that Dan didn’t want him enough. The bigger realization that even though, for him, Dan had been the one; to Dan, Ash had just been a summer fling.
It was Dan who closed the distance between them, tentatively, hands curling around Ash’s upper arms. Ash snaked his arms around Dan’s waist, bringing them chest-to-chest and lifting Dan up onto his tippy toes, making Dan’s breathing hitch and his hands clamp onto Ash.
Ash pressed a tiny kiss to Dan’s cheekbone, the skin warm and soft. “I’ve never kissed a guy before.”
“Me neither.” Dan pulled back, just a bit, and smiled quietly at Ash. “Hi.”
Something soft and warm tumbled in Ash’s chest. “Hi.”
Their gazes caught and held, and for a moment, a very brief second, Ash was six years younger and falling in love for the first time. The only time. The stomach-fluttering, pulse-racing, heart-hammering, weak-kneed kind of love he hadn’t felt before or since.
The sun shone in from the window in front of him, highlighting the dust motes that bobbed and danced, and when Dan laughed, appearing ethereal and delicate, Ash’s knees turned to water.
...he and Dan had been a pair of defensemen who’d been skating together for years. In sync. In tune. Able to read each other’s body language. Able to finish each other’s sentences. Hearts beating for one thing.
Each other.
”You made me feel like I could fly.”



