Long review and spoilers incoming…
This book was in desperate need of an editor if only to catch all the anachronisms that are constantly appearing. The book begins with a note from the author declaring that the story is set “during a medieval time period” which means that the reader can expect a certain amount of the setting and story to be framed in a way that reflects that specific time period. Obviously Malevolence is a fantasy novel so there is a certain amount of leeway when it comes to the technology existing in their world. The presence of magic can smooth over plenty of things that otherwise couldn’t exist. If the magic was explained with any detail at all. Instead characters are zipping up their pants and taking showers, and mentioning other things that don’t match the setting such as cement, which breaks immersion because realistically a medieval setting would call for laced pants, bathing in tubs, and stone floors. They don’t completely derail the narrative but it definitely gave pause.
Continuing with the lack of immersion is the fact that the world was not built at all, and anything that was said about world building amounted to the fortitude of a house of cards. A fantasy setting calls for a good bit of worldbuilding seeing as it’s a world different from everyday reality. “A world of fairies, elves, shapeshifters and magic” according to the author. These things are very distinctly unlike anything we have in the current day, meaning it needs a bit of explanation for the reader to fully understand the characters as they’re shaped by the world around them.
The main focus of the story comes down to the conflict between shifters and basically every other type of person that exists in their world. How big is the world? Who knows. Despite there being multiple scenes of battle plans and traveling between kingdoms there’s no telling how big or small their world is. It could take days or weeks to travel places in a medieval setting. In world, their main source of transportation is horses or their bodies when it comes to the shifters, and yet they seem to simply appear in places with very little thought given to how far they had to travel, which is a big aspect of war plans given that traveling takes energy. It wouldn’t have been a bother if the author glossed over these things if the scenes of travel were skipped entirely but there are several mentions of characters traveling but they could have been moving for a few hours or a few days.
And even if the kingdoms’ distance from the shifters’ realm isn’t mentioned it seems odd that the size of each kingdom was never brought up. Realistically war costs a lot of life and suspension of disbelief will make it easy to imagine that the shifters never seem to deplete their numbers despite being a small population, but the amount of soldiers in each kingdom is hardly mentioned. There is a mention of a night’s watch being around 40 men which is pitiful considering they’re meant to be guarding an entire kingdom which would mean that the kingdom itself is either very small or it’s standing military is all but nonexistent which makes them seem like less of an imposing threat to the shifters.
Another bit of worldbuilding that felt odd is that the cultures between the different races were never fleshed out. Phaedra did not seem to have any sense of culture shock when she was taken to the shifter kingdom. Ignoring all the trauma she was going through at the time, it was definitely a missed opportunity that she didn’t even have a passing thought about if they dressed differently or if the wedding traditions differed from those of her home. Weddings are significant events in most cultures that practice such unions and it was definitely a shame that it was skipped over in a rush to get to the wedding night. Especially considering the elusive “gods” that are frequently mentioned as an expletive or in vague passing, yet are never touched on in any significant way. Weddings are sometimes religious ceremonies and if there was a cultural difference between fairies and shifters as is expected it would’ve been an interesting plot point for Phaedra to consider herself unwed despite having a wedding because her gods and traditions different from those of the shifters and as such she doesn’t recognize her marriage to Malachi and Xander as binding.
Names are also a very simple piece of worldbuilding. Different cultures have different naming conventions. Spelling and how common certain names are become an easy way to tell different cultures apart even when using the same alphabet. Obviously everyone seems to be speaking the same language in the Malevolence universe whether it’s meant to be English or a common tongue native to their world doesn’t matter. A uniform language can still have different spelling like the UK versus American use of the letter “u” in certain words, or common turns of phrase like the stereotypical Canadian “eh” versus the Australian “oi.” But all of the characters’ names seem to have no cultural rhyme or reason. Phaedra and Xander both have Greek names while Malachi has a Hebrew name. And Phaedra has sisters called Irene and Iliana which are also Greek but then one of her sisters is called Ines which is a distinctly Spanish name.
It’s also strange that siblings between all cultures seem to have names beginning with the same letter. It’s never explained in-story but it’s such a glaring piece of the world that you’d think it would be mentioned. Originally it seemed as though Phaedra’s sisters all had names beginning with “I” to show how interchangeable they were in regards to being married off to strengthen their father’s kingdom. That made sense. But then Malachi’s siblings are called Misha and Malik, and Xander’s family has Xavier and Xyla. It serves no purpose except to add confusion to the flashbacks. Malachi is called Mal and his brother’s name is Malik. It can be easily misread. Same as Xander and Xavier.
In regards to the actual story the plot wasn’t particularly interesting and the book certainly overstayed its welcome. This book is over 700 pages and it was needlessly bloated with constant flashbacks. According to the author “because of the historical context of this story, there are several flashbacks. In this story, understanding the present requires a look into the past.” This isn’t necessarily true. A better writer could artfully add in pieces of the past through worldbuilding and dialogue rather than constant departures from the narrative to flashback decades to the main characters’ childhoods. It makes the pacing of the book choppy and erratic rather than adding context to certain events. Most if not all of the flashbacks could’ve been cut or turned into a few lines in the characters’ inner monologues and the same effect would’ve been conveyed in less words without halting the story.
The overall plot is rather bland considering it is a fantasy story set during a war and written in third person. The story head hops between whatever character the author wants us to follow between paragraphs with no real rhyme or reason. For example, the author will write Phaedra watching Xander leave the room and immediately cut to Xander’s perspective in the next paragraph rather than allowing the chapter to close on Phaedra’s perspective. It’s a strange way of shifting points of view that comes across as messy rather than deliberate. And there are entirely too many perspectives without naming who is the titular character at the time.
The narrative will jump between Phaedra, Malachi, and Xander which is understandable as they’re the three main characters. But as more characters are added to the narrative the author will jump up their perspectives as side characters rather than continuing with the three rotating main characters’ perspectives. It completely ruins the last 25% or so of the book when a character is suddenly introduced and given a large role to play in the plot when the story is supposed to be coming to a close. Cassiel’s perspective is the strangest addition to the story and ruins the pacing of the third act.
The third act of the story is based around the attack of the Illundiel Kingdom, but most of it goes unseen. The author seems to favor dialogue over anything else and as such the huge battle that is meant to be taking place is ignored in favor of the characters talking to each other. Phaedra is literally set on fire and there is less description of that than there is dialogue between her and her captors and her and Cassiel when he arrives.
Most of the book is a dialogue which would explain the lack of worldbuilding. Phaedra never explores her surroundings and describes seeing paintings or tapestries in the halls of the castle, or strange flowers that are different from the garden of her home when she’s outside. The only plant that is described after the fairie that supposedly loves flowers and her garden leaves home is the Eukal plant that acts as a contraceptive in their world. It’s an interesting detail and I wish the author had taken the time to add more things like it to the narrative.
Overall the entire plot seems to be scenes the author was very excited to write strung together with uninteresting filler that could have easily been cut or tightened up to shrink the word count. This story could have easily been around 300 pages if an editor was employed to trim the fat of the story and keep the story moving at a smooth pace. Most of the story was focused on the shock value scenes. Anything involving violence was highlighted with a few cute scenes with children thrown in to lighten the mood of the story. Of course, this was advertised as a dark romance and I was expecting violence and dubious consent from the start. It delivered on that front but the story was empty aside from that.
The empty world and uninteresting plot could be overlooked if the characters that are constantly talking were compelling, but unfortunately they all seem to be one note with the personality depth of a puddle. Phaedra is compassionate and sympathetic. Malachi is pragmatic. Xander is unhinged and traumatized. Until suddenly they aren’t.
Phaedra does a massive 180 with her character development and suddenly attacks and kills one of her many sisters which jumpstarts the third act. The issue is that while the scene was certainly cathartic it was completely out of character for Phaedra. She isn’t one to dwell on the bad and live in the past and she is written as desperately wanting to see the best in even the worst people. And yet more taunting from her sister is the straw that breaks the camel’s back after assumedly decades of learning how to deal with their petty remarks. It would’ve been more in character for Phaedra to smack her around but going as far as to kill her completely broke her character. No amount of Phaedra thinking about how much she wanted to “cuss someone out” (another anachronism) without actually acting on the urge or laying hands on anyone could’ve led to her violently attacking her sister. Yes, she was emotionally exhausted and pushed to the brink but her mental break resulting in her sister’s death instead of just heavy injury made no sense. The outcome could’ve been the same regardless of if Ines was killed or severely injured considering Phaedra still attacked the Queen. That is treason and she could’ve been killed for it without the overly sympathetic and pacifistic character switching on a dime murdering someone.
Xander and Malachi also have a quick switch in their personalities. Malevolence is a dark romance and it’s expected and even forewarned in the author’s not that things will be getting extreme in the narrative. The constant assault that they commit against Phaedra is part and parcel for the dark romance sub genre. But it isn’t romance to start. They aren’t coming from a place of love. Xander even states that he hates Phaedra at some point. The first third or so of the book is the male main characters lusting after a woman that they objectively hate because no one else in the narrative seems to be plus-sized and Phaedra is the only woman that fits their type. She’s the only fat girl for miles and they must have her, the fact that she’s a fairie princess only makes it more enticing for them. It’s taboo and terrible and they’re literally torturing her whenever they’re in bed together. But it’s only after several instances of her not consenting to the sex and violence that they realize what they’re doing is bad and suddenly they ask for her consent and start calling her their mate and saying they love her. All it took was her crying and breaking down for the umpteenth time and they completely switched their personalities.
Everyone else is just as one note as the main characters. Pokuaa is a feminist that won’t accept anything less than she deserves and calls out men for their misogyny. Is this feminist conviction common for shifters or their world? It’s never explained. Ria is nice and loves her children. Tindry is callous and loyal to her kingdom. The same as Yari. The same as Junt. Phaedra’s sisters are all interchangeable, conceited and cruel. The elves that are randomly shoved into the end of the book have no personality aside from Cassiel who assimilates to Phaedra’s kind and sympathetic personality. They added nothing to the story and the twist of Xander and Cassiel being half brothers was a pointless adage that was brought up and resolved far too quickly. The jump from wanting to kill Cassiel to Xander accepting him as family happened within about 20 pages. The entire third act was just a rushed mess of revelations that could’ve been better fleshed out throughout the story if the rest of the narrative wasn’t choked with flashbacks.
Overall Malevolence was a messy story from start to finish with the author ending out the story declaring that anything that seemed like a loose thread or dropped storyline was due to the interconnectivity of her stories and would be resolved in later books despite Malevolence being advertised as a stand-alone novel. The world wasn’t developed, the characters were one note, and the story was bloated beyond belief. This read like a first draft where every idea the author had was thrown in and never fully fitted to make a cohesive story. The writing style is a bit juvenile and relied heavily on dialogue where characters hardly had their own voice. All of the shifter men have the same crass way of speaking that would make it hard to determine who was speaking without dialogue tags, and half of the women all spoke with the same vain disregard for Phaedra. An editor would have cleaned up this story. Tightened the narrative to make the plot smoother, and caught all the modern words and phrases as well as grammar and spelling mistakes. There were the bones of an interesting story here but as it’s presented Malevolence seems like an unedited first draft that wasn’t meant to be shared with audiences just yet.
Perhaps the author is better suited to a different genre of dark romance. She has several other published works that could be better written than this book. A second chance might be in order in the future but for now this has been a sour introduction to Smauggy as a writer.