Cringe: Toe-Curlingly Embarrassing Teenage Diaries, Letters and Bad Poetry

by Sarah Brown

Did you keep a diary during your teen years? Do you have a box of loopy-cursive, never-sent notes to your crush? Or some overwrought poetry about your bleak existence? An unfinished rockopera? Well, you're not alone, and in "Cringe," you'll find a reason to unearth your adolescent angst and have a good laugh--at yourself.
A compilation of real teenage diary and journal entries, letters,
songs, stories, and lists--along with biting commentary, background, and self-examination from the now so-called grown-ups who wrote them--"Cringe" offers a voyeuristic glimpse at the roller coaster of youth in all of its navel-gazing, soul-searching, social-skewering glory. Cringe -worthy excerpts include
Really bad poetry:
I lumber like the sad clown with
the hope that my performance
might make you smile.
Yet I am a flickering star over
a cloudy sky.
Blush-inducing pep talks:
OK. It's the end of February. No more
kidding around! You have to go out
with someone! You haven't gone out
with someone since the summer!
At least fool around with someone!
Come on! You've got it in ya!
Questionable motivations:
My mom is madly in love with
her boyfriend. . . . Cool! He's so rich
. . . I could get a lot out of this--
vacations, a car--if he buys my mom
one + she gives me hers--psyche!
And rages against the world at large:
I am living in a dream world.
Wishes are a bunch of crap.
They never come true so what's
the use of even wasting your
time hoping they'll come true
when they don't?
Inspired by the New York-based reading series of the same name, "Cringe" will help you realize that being a grown-up isn't all that terrible. At least you don't have to worry about who's going to be at the mall anymore.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Born in Oklahoma, living in Brooklyn.

Reviews

[Dalila · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you ever thought teenagers back then are less annoying than now, you couldn't be more wrong. This book puts into perspective that no matter what year you're born in, once your body starts releasing teenagery-related hormones, we're all in the same boat. I didn't particularly enjoy this book, but I think this would be great for "those" kinds of adults who seems to forget they were teenagers once.

[Renegade Librarian Extraordinaire · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG.

I have so many feels about this book. Most of which ARE, as the title suggests, "Cringe."

I've always been an avid journaler. In my teenage years I called it a "Diary" and it was of the super-secret-read-at-your-own-risk variety. Like Fort Knox level secret. Vault in the Pentagon level secret. Although there likely wasn't much in those diaries that warranted such secrecy. I couldn't tell you for sure because I, being of the third type, destroyed those teenage writings while in my early 20s. Now, a few years okay decades later, I kind of wish I hadn't.

What I DO recall of those blush-worthy ramblings was:

- I absolutely HATED a classmate named [name withheld] and found her to be over-the-top and impossibly annoying (Ok, [name withheld] was kind of annoying. She was really dramatic and over the top about everything). I had a whole chapter dedicated to how fake and annoying I found [name withheld] and I vividly recall scribbling furiously about this poor girl...who had no idea how badly she irked me. Verdict Probably didn't deserve even a quarter of the stuff I said about her. Actually, I hope she's doing well.

- For about 2-3 years, I had a crush on a Johnny Lawrence look-alike named [name withheld] who attended my tae kwon do dojo, although he was in the advanced class and I was in the kid's class. [name withheld] was a few years older and I thought he was SO much more mature than the other boys my own age because he had muscles. I recall I waxed (embarrassingly) poetic about [name withheld] and how hot he was. [name withheld] would later crash and burn from favor after that infamous school dance incident of which I will not speak, but which ended with me bawling my eyes out in the bathroom whilst my bestie vowed bloody vengeance from the other side of the stall door. Verdict Definitely deserved most of the the post-incident stuff at the time, but more due to teen boy immaturity than being an actual jerk. He's probably an ok guy now that he's much older.

- My main rival and nemesis when I was 14-16 was a French exchange student who I referred to as "Anastasia" (obvs not her real name). Verdict Everything I said about her was 100% justified. She was truly evil and is probably hopefully on anti-psychotic meds. But if I ever see her I'm getting a restraining order lol.

Cringe. All of it. But I'm actually laughing to myself as I recall all this. So yes, I very much enjoyed this book and all its laughter, tears, and wtf moments. It was everything a teen diary should be in all the best ways.

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

Cringe is right. I would rather relive a lifetime of embarrassing moments than read a page of this again.

[Anis Zulaikha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Teenagers are teenagers. No matter which generation or century you come from, between the age of 13-16, you will always have to go through such ‘cringe’ phase.

[Redfox5 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This made me laugh. Makes me think maybe I wasn't the only one who was nuts when I was a teenager. The only bit I didn't really enjoy was the poetry. I have written lots of bad poetry over the years and I don't even like reading my own let alone someone else. Mostly this book made me remember old times at school. I tired to look for my diary but I can't find it which is a tad worrying :/ I still live at home and when I wanted to write down my feelings I sometimes wrote over my wall. So I can cringe over what I wrote everyday. You can tell from these writings that I wanted to kill myself and everybody else. Ahhh! Since I had to read something nostalgic after reading this and my diary is missing presumed dead, I had to go for the letters my friends used to write me. I'm not sure what I was writing to them but apprently I must have been intrested in different types of pens and fonts as they are mentioned in a few letters(Gel and smelly pens were big at my school). We also seem to have dated or fancied the same guys at some point but that doesn't seem to be much of a problem. The best quote I came across tho was this... "U no Hana b, da lezzy she h8's u n she dnt like me hangin out wiv u coz she finkz dat yr a pikey!!. I told er dat I like bein yr frend n in my head least she aint a lezzy." I have no idea who Hana b is or why she thinks I'm a pikey. It's ironic that both me and this girl seem to dislike lesbians at this stage since we both had girlfriends in later life lol. Sorry I've gone off the topic of the book abit but I think everyone who reads this should share a little bit of teenage wisdom with us. If you've ever kept a diray, written a silly letter to a friend or poured your heart out in a poem then this book is for you.

[Bree Yerbury · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will be honest with you I gave up on this book halfway through due to an on going list of 'to-read' books but that doesn't mean I disapprove of this book. I loved the fact that this book was reflections of different peoples teenage diaries and the advice they would give to their teenage self. This book is a clear reminder that the small things we stress about as teenagers, will matter no more as we mature and our best intentions for ourselves will grow as we do.

[Jiaxin · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't know why I actually bought this book. Probably the worst book I read this year. I had high expectation on this book but... Ugh

Life of Asian kids are so different with Western kids/teenagers. I'm jealous sometimes.

[Kirsty Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve really enjoyed this book , something alittle light hearted and funny . As I write my own journals in my spare time since my teens it’s always funny to look back on others peoples and other peoples teenage years especially from different eras which to be fair has the same teenage angst

[Sammi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I probably would have enjoyed this if I were younger.

[Chrys · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really reminds you of how toe curlingly awful those teenage years could be.

[Chloe]

DNF

[Kat Bell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bought this book years ago after reading hilarious snippets in some magazine. Few funny stories, but book lives up to the title

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good for a laugh, the section on parents was hilarious!