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Objects of Our Affection: Uncovering My Family's Past, One Chair, Pistol, and Pickle Fork at a Time
After their mother’s death, Lisa Tracy and her sister, Jeanne, are left to contend with several households’ worth of furniture and memorabilia, much of it accumulated during their family’s many decades of military service in far-flung outposts from the American frontier to the World War Two–era Pacific. In this engaging and deeply moving book, Tracy chronicles the wondrous interior life of those possessions and discovers that the roots of our passion for acquisition often lie not in shallow materialism but in our desire to possess the most treasured commodity of a connection to the past.
What starts as an exercise in information gathering designed to boost the estate’s resale value at auction evolves into a quest that takes Lisa Tracy from her New Jersey home to the Philippines and, ultimately, back to the town where she grew up. These travels open her eyes to a rich family history characterized by duty, hardship, honor, and devotion—qualities embodied in the very items she intends to sell. Here is an inventory unlike any silver gewgaws, dueling pistols that once belonged to Aaron Burr (no, not those pistols), a stately storage chest from Boxer Rebellion–era China, providentially recovered family documents, even a chair in which George Washington may or may not have sat—each piece cherished and passed down to Lisa’s generation as an emblem of who her forebears were, what they had done, and where they had been. Each is cataloged here with all the richness and intimacy that only a family member could bring to the endeavor.
“Even as we know we should be winnowing, we’re wallowing,” observes Lisa Tracy in one of her characteristically trenchant observations about America’s abiding obsession with “stuff.” A paean to the pack rat in us all, Objects of Our Affection offers an offbeat and intriguing mix of cultural anthropology, Antiques Roadshow Americana, and military history and lore, as well as a thoughtful meditation on the emotional resonance of objects—what they mean and the oh-so-fascinating stories they tell.
What starts as an exercise in information gathering designed to boost the estate’s resale value at auction evolves into a quest that takes Lisa Tracy from her New Jersey home to the Philippines and, ultimately, back to the town where she grew up. These travels open her eyes to a rich family history characterized by duty, hardship, honor, and devotion—qualities embodied in the very items she intends to sell. Here is an inventory unlike any silver gewgaws, dueling pistols that once belonged to Aaron Burr (no, not those pistols), a stately storage chest from Boxer Rebellion–era China, providentially recovered family documents, even a chair in which George Washington may or may not have sat—each piece cherished and passed down to Lisa’s generation as an emblem of who her forebears were, what they had done, and where they had been. Each is cataloged here with all the richness and intimacy that only a family member could bring to the endeavor.
“Even as we know we should be winnowing, we’re wallowing,” observes Lisa Tracy in one of her characteristically trenchant observations about America’s abiding obsession with “stuff.” A paean to the pack rat in us all, Objects of Our Affection offers an offbeat and intriguing mix of cultural anthropology, Antiques Roadshow Americana, and military history and lore, as well as a thoughtful meditation on the emotional resonance of objects—what they mean and the oh-so-fascinating stories they tell.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
January 30, 2011
I thought this book was repeating itself over and over again. It seemed like it didn't say anything.
August 29, 2010
I have mixed feelings about this book. I liked the overall idea - following a family's history through their possessions. Though I felt at times the author strayed to far off course into the events and time in which her family members lived rather than staying focused to their personal stories and who they were. Many times the author described the strong emotional pull of fond memories, guilt and loss these objects evoked, while being faced with needing to put closure on the past, let go of things that no longer served a practical purpose, and yet still struggling with letting go of things that represent such strong reminders of family and the past. Being possessed somewhat by our possessions is certainly something I can relate to with my own family.
I found the last few chapters particularly heavy in that the author relayed her experience of losing her mother, and how she thought he mother might have felt as her children took over her affairs and put her belongings in storage. The salt shaker story was very poignant.
Though both threads in this story are related, I think they may have been better as two stories - the genealogical stories in our possessions, and dealing with a close relative's end of life. Overall, I admired the author's effort and approach to these subjects, so I rated this 3 stars.
I found the last few chapters particularly heavy in that the author relayed her experience of losing her mother, and how she thought he mother might have felt as her children took over her affairs and put her belongings in storage. The salt shaker story was very poignant.
Though both threads in this story are related, I think they may have been better as two stories - the genealogical stories in our possessions, and dealing with a close relative's end of life. Overall, I admired the author's effort and approach to these subjects, so I rated this 3 stars.
February 26, 2011
I think I liked the idea of this book more than the book itself. It was just too easy to put down for something else.
August 15, 2013
When her mother died in 1993, Lisa Tracy found it hard to let go of the possessions her mother had left behind. After allowing them to sit in storage bins for ten years, she finally worked up the courage to sort through them, deciding what to keep, what to give away and what to sell at auction. A journalist for 25 years with the Philadelphia Inquirer, Tracy used her skills to investigate the provenance of each piece, which of her ancestors had acquired it, and under what circumstances. Like a sleuth on the trail of a mysterious stranger, Tracy visited archives, pored through family documents and conducted online searches, pulling together seemingly disparate facts and uniting them to form a complete picture.
Her fifth book, Objects of Our Affection, shares those captivating discoveries, from a pickle fork monogrammed with strange initials to dueling pistols that once belonged to Aaron Burr (no, not those pistols). Sprinkled throughout are bits of world history and some of the nuts-and-bolts of sorting through, organizing and auctioning off family heirlooms. Black-and-white photos of various antiques are included, each one lovingly and lushly described. But what makes this book so hard to put down is the prompted memory of their owners. With each heirloom, Tracy delves further into family history and shares a little bit more about the ancestor who had acquired the piece.
A fascinating read for anyone interested in genealogy or family memoirs.
Her fifth book, Objects of Our Affection, shares those captivating discoveries, from a pickle fork monogrammed with strange initials to dueling pistols that once belonged to Aaron Burr (no, not those pistols). Sprinkled throughout are bits of world history and some of the nuts-and-bolts of sorting through, organizing and auctioning off family heirlooms. Black-and-white photos of various antiques are included, each one lovingly and lushly described. But what makes this book so hard to put down is the prompted memory of their owners. With each heirloom, Tracy delves further into family history and shares a little bit more about the ancestor who had acquired the piece.
A fascinating read for anyone interested in genealogy or family memoirs.
July 13, 2010
REALLY enjoyed this book. Excellent writing. I'm not usually one for nonfiction but this was engaging and interesting and really made me think about my own life. It's worth reading it if you care about family, history, American history, life, death, grieving. If you ever ask yourself: WHY DO I HAVE ALL THIS STUFF? Again, the book for you. I recommend. Mucho.
August 3, 2010
This story got a bit heavy with details of history and furniture, but it was alright for a spur of the moment grab off the "new" shelf.
April 21, 2019
I was tricked. I hopefully thought this would be a hoarding/clean-out book. But it was really just a self-absorbed, blathering "memoir" of her family's boring crap. And her boring family.
February 13, 2023
When Lisa Tracy’s mother passed away, she and her sister had to decide what to do with all the family heirlooms, mostly furniture. Their first decision was to put it all in storage and postpone the decision. After ten years they realized they had to face reality, and decide its fate. This book came out of that effort, as Tracy traces the history of many of the pieces, from a chair George Washington may or may not have sat in, to a pickle fork which illustrates family conflicts.
Both her parents came from military families, so the family history incorporates various wars, including the “Indian Wars,” the Spanish-American, the Boxer Rebellion, and World War I. Much of the furniture tracks back to those conflicts (one chest picked up in the Philippines, another in China). Tracy comments on the home life of military families, and how, with multiple moves, the furniture effectively became their home.
Her main subject is less history than memory, however. How do we remember our loved ones, after they are gone? How do we mark their stories, bring them back to mind? And, in the end, how do we let go of them?
Full disclosure times two: I recently lost both of my parents, and which through a similar process of dealing with everything they left behind, although my family’s decisions were quite different from Tracy’s. Still the sense of giving away or selling memories rings very true, along with the idea that we have little choice in the matter.
Part two: Tracy is a cousin of my father. Their respective grandmothers were sisters, descendants (more history) of William Maxwell Wood, first surgeon general of the US Navy.
Both her parents came from military families, so the family history incorporates various wars, including the “Indian Wars,” the Spanish-American, the Boxer Rebellion, and World War I. Much of the furniture tracks back to those conflicts (one chest picked up in the Philippines, another in China). Tracy comments on the home life of military families, and how, with multiple moves, the furniture effectively became their home.
Her main subject is less history than memory, however. How do we remember our loved ones, after they are gone? How do we mark their stories, bring them back to mind? And, in the end, how do we let go of them?
Full disclosure times two: I recently lost both of my parents, and which through a similar process of dealing with everything they left behind, although my family’s decisions were quite different from Tracy’s. Still the sense of giving away or selling memories rings very true, along with the idea that we have little choice in the matter.
Part two: Tracy is a cousin of my father. Their respective grandmothers were sisters, descendants (more history) of William Maxwell Wood, first surgeon general of the US Navy.
December 11, 2019
I was hoping to use at least part of this in one of my classes, and it does have utility for thinking about how collections are accumulated and dispersed, but the narrative is uneven and sometimes repetitious and ultimately it takes too long to get to the point. But anyone who has gone through dispersing an estate will appreciate at least some of the stories, as may those connected to the antiques trade.
November 13, 2017
Part memoir, part genealogy, this book tells of one woman's experience cleaning out her family heirlooms. This is not a how-to book, however the author does touch on how objects can evoke emotions & memories. Very well written.
March 2, 2018
I loved this book. This is a family history which deepens with each chapter, and the objects become talismans, carrying the story from past to present. Like a long dinner party, with each course and subsequent bottle of wine, the intimate stories of the family are slowly revealed.
May 20, 2018
It repeated itself with the history part so I skipped a lot. But it was a story of how to get rid or save the antiques, letters and photos of the past. Which I totally understand.
October 2, 2019
3 1/2 stars. Interesting at times, and I certainly can relate to tendency to hang onto items for sentimental reasons, but it does seem to repeat at times. (Own)
December 30, 2024
This book was tedious to read.
April 4, 2012
This was a strange and disconcerting book. Tracy comes from an old American military family, and she and her sister find themselves the recipients of many lifetimes' worth of furniture after their mother dies. This book is the story of what they do with the furniture, who they are in the context of their family, and how they cope with who they are. The family, despite the author's insistence to the contrary, is solidly upper class. The Chippendale, the Hepplewhite, the Meissen seem somehow to be imbued with emotions that, in families more like mine, get expressed, acted upon and dissipate or concentrate over time. This family, by contrast, doesn't talk about what they feel, who they are. They grit their teeth and do the proper thing, time after time, ending in a morass of regrets and half-understood sadness.
It's not an easy book to read, full as it is with could have beens. But it is indeed interesting to peer in the corner of a window at this family.
It's not an easy book to read, full as it is with could have beens. But it is indeed interesting to peer in the corner of a window at this family.
August 13, 2010
I enjoyed this trip through the authors family. After her mother is moved to a nursing home, it falls to Lisa and her sister to store her mothers furniture and belongings, many of them with a long family history. After years in storage, the sisters decide that many of the items should be sold, but it is hard to depart with the things that hold so many memories and much regret sets in.
In my own family, after my mum died, dads moved to a new home, taking with him most of the things from the family home. Once he met his new wife and moved in, he got rid of just about everything, and now that marriage is over and he is back in his own home, we feel that loss. Even though they are just chairs and rugs, they had a touch of our mother.
I also wonder what will happen to my own stuff after I die? Will it go to a second hand store, or will my niece or nephew want anything? Who knows?
In my own family, after my mum died, dads moved to a new home, taking with him most of the things from the family home. Once he met his new wife and moved in, he got rid of just about everything, and now that marriage is over and he is back in his own home, we feel that loss. Even though they are just chairs and rugs, they had a touch of our mother.
I also wonder what will happen to my own stuff after I die? Will it go to a second hand store, or will my niece or nephew want anything? Who knows?
May 8, 2015
This was an interesting combination of memoir, family history, and American history, though at times it got a little dry. If you're dealing with the death of a parent, cleaning out a house or moving and trying to decide what to keep and what to sell or give away (and you don't mind some excursions into the Gilded Age, Philippine colonialism, and military families), then you will probably enjoy this.
Reading this after Randy Frost and Gail Steekete's Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things was also quite enlightening, as Tracy's book also goes into why we are attached to items (some valuable, some useful, some not).
Reading this after Randy Frost and Gail Steekete's Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things was also quite enlightening, as Tracy's book also goes into why we are attached to items (some valuable, some useful, some not).
December 30, 2010
I'm using this for my 200 level history class on the American family. Although the writing is uneven, I found the tale engaging, if somewhat annoying. (Getting upset because someone threw out salt that your mother may or may not have used, ten years after she died, is going a little overboard.) From reading this, I'm hoping that my students gain an appreciation for how material objects reflect their family's past. The author uses material objects to better understand her ancestors, especially those that collected the material objects. Hopefully this will give my students a better appreciation for the history that exists around them, even in the most mundane objects. We shall see how well it works.
July 26, 2013
This was interesting. Her family history was almost blank to her, until she went through things. And although no one ever talked about "things," and the author kind of ignores the obvious pain, she admits to being in denial most of the time.
This had a real impact on me - made me sad for my family's greed. My grandmother's half-brother took most of the family things while his four sisters were attending the funeral, and gave the family belongings away.
This was repeated by my step-father, after my mother died, who gave only one of my sisters and his adopted daughter everything, leaving two daughters almost completely out. So the few things I have are very meaningful. I can't imagine a houseful, much less auctioning it all off.
This had a real impact on me - made me sad for my family's greed. My grandmother's half-brother took most of the family things while his four sisters were attending the funeral, and gave the family belongings away.
This was repeated by my step-father, after my mother died, who gave only one of my sisters and his adopted daughter everything, leaving two daughters almost completely out. So the few things I have are very meaningful. I can't imagine a houseful, much less auctioning it all off.
December 5, 2016
(Nonfiction, Memoir)
Blurb: “About the history of certain carefully collected heirlooms and why we hold on to the things we keep and how we let go of the ones we lose.”
Lisa Tracy found herself, along with her sister Jeanne, responsible for cleaning out her deceased parents’ home, jammed full of the belongings they had gathered over a lifetime. I also had to clear out my mother’s house, full of her possessions. But there the similarities end.
Tracy’s parents collected museum quality antiques with high dollar value, and lovely family stories attached. I, sadly, couldn’t relate.
Recommended for someone whose parents are well-to-do and will be leaving a house that someone (maybe them!) will need to clear out.
3 stars
Blurb: “About the history of certain carefully collected heirlooms and why we hold on to the things we keep and how we let go of the ones we lose.”
Lisa Tracy found herself, along with her sister Jeanne, responsible for cleaning out her deceased parents’ home, jammed full of the belongings they had gathered over a lifetime. I also had to clear out my mother’s house, full of her possessions. But there the similarities end.
Tracy’s parents collected museum quality antiques with high dollar value, and lovely family stories attached. I, sadly, couldn’t relate.
Recommended for someone whose parents are well-to-do and will be leaving a house that someone (maybe them!) will need to clear out.
3 stars
September 14, 2010
Perhaps Tracy's book resonated with me due to our recent move - and disposal of nearly all our furniture and household goods- but Objects of OUr Affection succeeds quite well in its conceit of telling a family's stories through it's heirlooms, furniture, and goods. Tracy examines her family's ancestry through the stories attached to the objects as she attempts to trace each item's provenance for an impending estate auction.
Fans of the hipper and fictional Important Artifacts... by Leanne Shapton may well enjoy this more traditional memoir - as will military wives, caregivers, and anyone else familiar with the exhausting process of moving and storing a household.
Fans of the hipper and fictional Important Artifacts... by Leanne Shapton may well enjoy this more traditional memoir - as will military wives, caregivers, and anyone else familiar with the exhausting process of moving and storing a household.
February 10, 2016
If you've ever been faced with the passing of a loved one or having to empty out your parents' home, this poignant little volume will tug at your heartstrings. It's all here, from the overwhelming sense of "what do I do with all this stuff?" to "who are these people in these photographs?" Interestingly, Lisa and her sister decide to put much of the beloved family furniture up for auction, and make some surprising discoveries as to their ancestors' identities - and roles in history - along the way.
November 15, 2012
I have always been close to my family and enjoyed family stories. As I get older, I can relate to the process the author goes through as she seeks to know more details about her relatives. It reminds me of the importance of asking questions of those older members of the family while there is still time. Certain pieces of our history have significance to who we are and our collective story. This book is a gentle reminder not to wait until it is too late.
December 10, 2015
Emotional journey of a woman as she learns more of her family's history through the object left to her from an older generation.There were parts that didn't hold my interest as much as others, but I recognized the regret with which she was tormented after selling her grandmother's needlepoint and when the cleaning women washed the last of her mother's salt down the drain. Poignent, but triumphant.
August 23, 2010
Lisa Tracy's story of discovering her east coast, military family's past and sorting through a warehouse full of the remnants of it was more pedantic than I expected.
It was still worth the journey, but not as engrossing as one would hope, despite their links to many momentous events and people in the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries.
It was still worth the journey, but not as engrossing as one would hope, despite their links to many momentous events and people in the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries.
September 20, 2010
A very interesting way to research a family history (via the inherited furniture, dishes, papers, etc.). I found her initial lack of interest in her family's things frustrating--although she ended up realizing the same thing in the end. The story meanders around a bit, but is still an interesting snapshot of a family.
April 6, 2010
Great idea for a book, could have been executed better. She is going through her mother's belongings after she dies and musing about the importance of things and the stories they contain. However, instead of treasuring them she is auctioning them off - therein lies the rub.
March 29, 2013
Good concept but not delivered in a satisfactory manner. Too much of the author's family was not representative of an average family, so I did not really care. Too many generals, upper class folks, and too much repetition. If the sandai chest was mentioned one more time I would have screamed.
August 10, 2018
Read this some time ago. Parts of it were fascinating; parts of it reminded me of the years we shoveled out Mum’s house. Plum Johnson’s “They Left Us Everything” tells the story of a Canadian family who has roots in the American South and England and is a bit more engaging.
December 6, 2010
See my review at readingwithdebra.blogspot.com
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews