There is a right way to build a house the code book says so. There is a right way to build a bridge engineering data says so. But there is not a right way to build a relationship in spite of what the self-help industry says. To imply that there is a right way assumes that anyone who does not follow accepted protocol is wrong. In these settings a hierarchy evolves in which those who are right demand from those who find acceptance in pleasing the dictator. The value of a person is based on the deception of performance. There is a striving after integrity. But there is another way. In it performance becomes an expression of ones value. The longing is for personal authenticity. It is open to those who seek after truth. In this book the author chronicles one mans journey from the former paradigm to the latter.