Try to Remember

by Iris Gómez

If she tries, Gabriela can almost remember when her father went off to work . . . when her mother wasn't struggling to undo the damage he caused . . . when a short temper didn't lead to physical violence. But Gabi cannot live in the past, not when one more outburst could jeopardize her family's future. So she trades the life of a normal Miami teenager for a career of carefully managing her father's delusions and guarding her mother's secrets. As Gabi navigates her family's twisting path of lies and revelations, relationships and loss, she finds moments of happiness in unexpected places. Ultimately Gabi must discover the strength she needs to choose what's right for her: serving her parents or a future of her own.

Genres: Fiction

368 pages, Paperback

First published April 16, 2010

About the author

IRIS GÓMEZ is an award-winning writer and nationally-recognized expert on the rights of immigrants in the United States. She is the author of two poetry collections, Housicwhissick Blue (Edwin Mellen Press, 2003) and When Comets Rained (CustomWords, 2004), which earned a prestigious national poetry prize from the University of California. Her work is widely published in a variety of literary and other periodicals.

A respected public interest immigration lawyer and law school lecturer, she has represented civil rights groups and individuals in high impact cases and won professional awards for her accomplishments–including a Las Primeras award for Latina trailblazers in Massachusetts. She has frequently been called upon to write and speak on immigration-related topics and has appeared in the media, including on the nationally televised Cristina show and Boston’s celebrated bilingual late-night radio program ¡Con Salsa!

An immigrant from Cartagena, Colombia, she spent formative years in Miami, Florida and has also lived in New York City, Michigan, and throughout the Pacific Northwest. She and her family now make their home in the Boston area.

Reviews

[Patricia Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really good story. I loved the main character, the young girl who was telling the story. This is story about young girl, about 15 years old, who had to take over control of her family. Her father was mentally ill and her mother was in denial and her two brothers were younger than her So everything fell on her. This is a story about what was going on with her family and what she was thinking and feeling. A very good read. I must say I was not happy with the ending. It ended with her just thinking about her life and trying to make sense of everything. I would have been happier to have story show that she got a better life out of this, at least as far as going on the trip that she won. I guess this is another story but like I said I love this main character.

[Charlotte Guzman · Rating 4 out of 5]

An enjoyable coming of age story in Miami, Fl in the early 1970's.
Gabriela is 15 and has quite the dysfunctional family life. The main problem is her father who is mentally unstable and the cause of the a lot of the problems in the family. He is unable to keep a job and goes into mental episodes that endanger the family.
Being immigrants from Columbia the family treads lightly and the mother and Gabriela take on most of the responsibility of taking care of the family.
For Gabriela it starts to weigh on her in finding out what she wants to be in life. Another words she feels a prisoner to her family.
I felt the angst of Gabriela and her choices she needed to make for herself and her family.
Lovely story and nicely written.

[Tasheena Christensen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a hard time really being engaged in this story, it was a frustrating read for me. I felt annoyed that none of the characters really seemed to deal with what was going on, it was all internal, and even the internal stuff wasn't as extreme as the situation was. Maybe that's a cultural thing, I don't know, but I just found it to be sad. I didn't connect with the characters enough to really care about what was happening, they weren't developed well. Overall I was pretty disappointed with this book because from the description it sounded really good!

[Ayushi (Sorcery of Chapters) · Rating 5 out of 5]

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Truly captivating coming of age novel set in the late 1960s Florida. Exquisite!

[CarolineFromConcord · Rating 3 out of 5]

I heard the author speak in the fall, and I'm pretty sure someone said this coming-of-age novel is based on her childhood. It's a window into the family insularity of some Colombian immigrants in Miami in the mid-20th century. I think the family members' maddening refusal to ask for help from close friends or institutions would be more understandable if bad things actually happened when they finally went to the police or the hospital--I am sure many immigrants do have bad experiences with authorities--but maybe the author was just sticking to the facts of what happened in her life. She follows the sequence of events even when compressing incidents would have made more literary sense. First this happened, then that, then the next thing. The writing is not artful, but the story holds your attention.
Still, I know that many children lack the kind friends and teachers this person had reaching out to her all the time. Many children, if they had even one such kind person, would have responded and been grateful for the help. But in spite of the father's clear derangement, the girl and her family went for years just adapting, lying, hiding, denying, suffering. Pretty frustrating to read.
The author grew up to be an immigration lawyer in Massachusetts. She worked with others at a writers group called Grub Street in Boston to develop her book. If this is indeed the story of her life, I really do admire her for ultimately making a life for herself with a professional career, a writing career, and a family of her own. Not easy.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A friend bought me this book, which was written by her friend. I was really excited to read it because it's about an immigrant family and was written by an immigration lawyer. But I was kind of disappointed. The first half is really the same thing over and over and over. While it's great for character development, it's really a lot of chapters dedicated to repeating the same simple theme. In fact, not much happens in the book overall, which made it a bit tedious to read. Yet, at the end, I found myself admiring the main character for her strength and felt as though I really knew her. So ultimately I'd have to say I was glad to have read the book, even though the process was somewhat tedious.

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story had a way of capturing you to keep reading. The book could of been about 100 pages shorter due to the monotony of the storyline in the beginning. I think after the few couple of incidents the reader can grasp the concept that something isn't right in the family structure.

I was rooting for Gabrieleta to break out of the family tradition and become her own person. Her mother i could've strangled. I can understand the situation but there just comes a point where a mother and a human being can only take so much.

Once it was revealed about the father i had no sympathy with him.

I became engrossed in the story and it was refreshing to see an author not sugar coat how some families really struggle.

[Nikki · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book to be really sad and frustrating. Whie it was enlightening to read about how Gabriele, a 14-year-old immigrant , was adjusting to life in America, I was mostly aggravated by her family's refusal to acknowledge her father's deteriorating mind. I had a hard time accepting that her family relocated to the United States for a better life, but was then willing to ignore their father's illness/violent oubursts at the risk of deportation. Maybe this is a difference in our cultures, not to acknowledge a mental illness or to show such great respect to the patriarch, but to me it seemed like there was so much suffering at the expense of pride.

[Gail · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads. I would like to thank Goodreads & Iris Gomez for giving me the chance to read this book. I believe anyone reading this will be doing a lot of thinking & possibly trying to put themselves in Gabi's shoes. At least that seemed to be what I kept doing...and it was impossible for me to even imagine living the life that they were living. But I kept trying anyway. Very thought provoking.

[Mary Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book about a young immigrant woman/teenager and how she navigates the divide between her Columbian birthplace and Miami, where she now lives with her family. The book totally captured me. It is written so vividly and opened a door for me into her life and famly struggles. Gabriela is the star of this novel but the other characters are just as compelling. It's a page turner and you will want to stay up all night reading.

[Pmcdnld2 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story centering around Gabriela, 14, immigrant from Columbia and her conlict with the Latino ways and her hope for a modern American future. Her father is losing his mind, her mom is hiding the situation from everyone while clinging to her version of the traditional ways, her brother is sniffing glue. Gabi is trying to hold the family together. Some interesting insight into the immigrant (legal) experience where they are afraid to trust anyone for fear of deportation

[Marilyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book. I agree with other reviewers that it was repititious.

The book gave me an insight into growing up bright in a latino/old world environment. One of the reviewers on Goodreads said that the book is semi-autobiographical. Wow, I can't imagine succeeding from this background but Ms Gomez has.

The teachers are almost too good to be true. The helpful neighbor is a bit phony.

I liked the book with reservations.

[Priscilla Perez · Rating 3 out of 5]

I could relate to the main character because of the language she spoke and the ways of Hispanic families. It was sad to read how broken the family was. The book was long and repetitive. I did enjoy how strong the main character was although the environment she was living in was unhealthy. This book shared a bit of the struggles families of immigrants endure in starting a life in America and also the physical abuse of domestic violence.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book in a giveaway. When I first started it I thought it was too depressing with too much Spanish in it. However, by the end I was "with" the heroine, empathizing with her and came away with good impressions of the book. Gabriela had to go through a lot but in the end things are looking up for her!

[☮Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book on Goodreads First Reads. I enjoy stories about teenage girls and their struggles. This girl was very likeable and sympathetic. Her family on the other hand, was not. There was too much emphasis on the father's illness and violent temper, in my opinion. And I thought the ending left too much unresolved.

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story is about a young immigrant teen and her family living in Miami. I found myself totally wrapped up in Gabriela's life as she struggles to keep her family together. The weight of the world is on her shoulders as she tries to remember good things in her past. Interesting and well-written story.

[Emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

I understand the issues that Iris Gomez is addressing and for that I give the book two stars. I just simply did not find it well written. The narrative was jumpy. Except for the narrator, the other characters were not fleshed out well enough to be engaging.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was not as good as I expected it to be. I read some reviews and I thought more of the book would follow the father's mental illness but that wasn't the case. It was a good enough read for me to make it to the end!

[Mysti · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really wanted to like this book but such a struggle to finish it. There were a couple of points in the book that I thought "yes, it's getting better" only to be disappointed to end up back where it started from. The story line had potential but seemed never to get off the ground.

[Gina Cummings · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book when I was browsing a bookstore in an airport. I liked the topics of immigration, mental health, and loyalty to family that the author covers, although I didn't find that the writing was particularly outstanding.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A surprising pleasant read. This is written from a teenage girls viewpoint. Her family is from Columbia and currently living in Miami. She struggles with family problems as well as differences in culture. It is an easy light summer read.

[Brandy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a pretty good book but I found myself skimming a bit at certain parts. Part of me really wanted to find out what happened to Gabrielita but I understand ending like that - leaving the reader with hope for the family.

[eb · Rating 2 out of 5]

The story of a smart girl trapped at home with a father suffering from an undiagnosed mental malady and a mother in denial. Interesting and readable, but one-note.

[Marie Elena]

This was my first Goodreads First Reads win. Can't wait to get started!

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a while to get through this, but I'm glad I stuck it out -- the story was quite interesting and thought-provoking -- puts many of the issues I struggle with into perspective.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had the pleasure of meeting Iris Gomez, and she is delightful!

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Excelent story of a Columbian girl in Miami, and how she adjusts to different customs, her family struggles, and growing up.

[Megan Crusante · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is definitely scarier to me when the dad has the crazy. (...instead of the mom) No idea why.

[Lea · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was sort of like Next to Normal meets immigration meets the 1970's. I liked it but it was a real downer.

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tragic and somewhat relatable. A great story of how difficult is to realize that your parents are in fact human and have flaws; in this specific case many flaws.