What do you think?
Rate this book
Coma
Ein ganz spezielles Brüderpaar. Gary ist ein untalentierter Golfer, Lee ein untalentierter Gangster. Der eine wird von einem Golfball am Kopf getroffen und fällt ins Koma. Als er erwacht, spürt er den Drang zur öffentlichen Masturbation und leidet am Tourette-Syndrom. Aber er kann plötzlich Golf spielen. Der andere soll eine unschuldige Frau töten, um seine Schulden zu begleichen. Als sich die Wege der beiden kreuzen, kann das nichts Gutes bedeuten.
In Ardgirvan, einer kleinen Stadt an der Westküste Schottlands, leben zwei Brüder, die wenig miteinander zu tun haben, gemeinsam ist ihnen nur die Mittelmäßigkeit, in dem, was sie tun: Gary arbeitet seit seinem 17. Lebensjahr in der Verwaltung von Henderson’s Gabelstaplerwerk, seine größte Leidenschaft gilt dem Golf spielen, das er nicht kann, die zweitgrößte seiner Frau, ehemals Maikönigin von Ardgirvan, die ihn nicht lässt. Während er sich seinen neun Löchern widmet, betrügt sie ihn mit dem lokalen Teppichbaron. Lee ist ein untalentierter Gangster, der wegen eines geplatzten Drogendeals die berüchtigtste Verbrecherdynastie der Stadt am Hals hat. Als Gary von einem Golfball am Kopf getroffen wird und ins Koma fällt, nehmen die Ereignisse eine jähe Wendung. Gary erwacht und leidet fortan an einer speziellen Form des Tourette Syndroms: permanent spürt er den Drang, öffentlich zu masturbieren. Aber er kann plötzlich Golf spielen und qualifiziert sich für ein Turnier nach dem anderen. Währenddessen erhält Lee den Auftrag, eine unschuldige Frau zu töten, um seine Schulden zu begleichen. Auf verhängnisvolle und sehr komische Weise kreuzen sich die Wege der beiden Brüder, und alles läuft auf einen großen Showdown bei der British Open Championship zu.
In Ardgirvan, einer kleinen Stadt an der Westküste Schottlands, leben zwei Brüder, die wenig miteinander zu tun haben, gemeinsam ist ihnen nur die Mittelmäßigkeit, in dem, was sie tun: Gary arbeitet seit seinem 17. Lebensjahr in der Verwaltung von Henderson’s Gabelstaplerwerk, seine größte Leidenschaft gilt dem Golf spielen, das er nicht kann, die zweitgrößte seiner Frau, ehemals Maikönigin von Ardgirvan, die ihn nicht lässt. Während er sich seinen neun Löchern widmet, betrügt sie ihn mit dem lokalen Teppichbaron. Lee ist ein untalentierter Gangster, der wegen eines geplatzten Drogendeals die berüchtigtste Verbrecherdynastie der Stadt am Hals hat. Als Gary von einem Golfball am Kopf getroffen wird und ins Koma fällt, nehmen die Ereignisse eine jähe Wendung. Gary erwacht und leidet fortan an einer speziellen Form des Tourette Syndroms: permanent spürt er den Drang, öffentlich zu masturbieren. Aber er kann plötzlich Golf spielen und qualifiziert sich für ein Turnier nach dem anderen. Währenddessen erhält Lee den Auftrag, eine unschuldige Frau zu töten, um seine Schulden zu begleichen. Auf verhängnisvolle und sehr komische Weise kreuzen sich die Wege der beiden Brüder, und alles läuft auf einen großen Showdown bei der British Open Championship zu.
400 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
166 people are currently reading
1258 people want to read
About the author
John Niven
30 books868 followersBorn in Irvine, Ayrshire, Niven read English Literature at Glasgow University, graduating in 1991 with First Class honours. For the next ten years, he worked for a variety of record companies, including London Records and Independiente. He left the music industry to write full time in 2002 and published his debut novella Music from Big Pink in 2005 (Continuum Press). The novella was optioned for the screen by CC Films with a script has been written by English playwright Jez Butterworth. Niven's breakthrough novel Kill Your Friends is a satire of the music business, based on his brief career in A&R, during which he passed up the chance to sign Coldplay and Muse. The novel was published by William Heinemann in 2008 and achieved much acclaim, with Word magazine describing it as "possibly the best British Novel since Trainspotting". It has been translated into seven languages and was a bestseller in Britain and Germany. Niven has since published The Amateurs (2009), The Second Coming (2011), Cold Hands (2012) and Straight White Male (2013).
He also writes original screenplays with writing partner Nick Ball, the younger brother of British TV presenter Zoë Ball. His journalistic contributions to newspapers and magazines include a monthly column for Q magazine, entitled "London Kills Me". In 2009 Niven wrote a controversial article for The Independent newspaper where he attacked the media's largely complacent coverage of Michael Jackson's death.
Niven lives in Buckinghamshire with his fiancee and infant daughter. He has a teenage son from a previous marriage.
He also writes original screenplays with writing partner Nick Ball, the younger brother of British TV presenter Zoë Ball. His journalistic contributions to newspapers and magazines include a monthly column for Q magazine, entitled "London Kills Me". In 2009 Niven wrote a controversial article for The Independent newspaper where he attacked the media's largely complacent coverage of Michael Jackson's death.
Niven lives in Buckinghamshire with his fiancee and infant daughter. He has a teenage son from a previous marriage.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 183 reviews
November 25, 2022
I'm always on the lookout for funny novels. They make a nice change from the doom-and-gloom stories that take up most of my reading time. But it's rare for me to find a story that genuinely makes me LOL. 'Three Men in a Boat' did it, as did 'Augustus Carp' and 'The Ascent of Rum Doodle'. 'Lucky Jim' was pretty witty, 'High Fidelity' brought the occasional chuckle, and a giggled like a child at sections of 'Starter for Ten'. But it wasn't until I read 'The Amateurs' that I realised it was possible for a book to literally have me clutching my stomach and gasping for air.
Truly, this book is hilarious. Sure, it's about golf, but don't let that put you off - I don't care for it much, either. The protagonist is Gary Irvine, a truly awful golfer with a cheating wife, a thug brother, and an eighteen handicap. One day, he hits an absolutely perfect shot… and at the same time is struck in the head by a golf ball. When he wakes up, he has the perfect swing and a horrible case of Tourette’s. The resulting story is surely one of the funniest ever put to paper.
Honestly. It really is that funny. So read it.
Just make sure you're wearing your TENA pants before you crack the spine.
Truly, this book is hilarious. Sure, it's about golf, but don't let that put you off - I don't care for it much, either. The protagonist is Gary Irvine, a truly awful golfer with a cheating wife, a thug brother, and an eighteen handicap. One day, he hits an absolutely perfect shot… and at the same time is struck in the head by a golf ball. When he wakes up, he has the perfect swing and a horrible case of Tourette’s. The resulting story is surely one of the funniest ever put to paper.
Honestly. It really is that funny. So read it.
Just make sure you're wearing your TENA pants before you crack the spine.
November 5, 2019
Gary Irvine is an extremely keen golfer, but absolutely hopeless at the game. His shallow, aquisitive wife is having an affair behind his back. His brother Lee is a no-mark petty criminal and wannabe drug dealer.
Then Gary gets hit smack in the temple by a golf ball. After lying in a coma for a few days he wakes up to find that he has a perfect golf swing, tourettes syndrome and a compulsive urge to masturbate at times of great stress. As Meatloaf didn't say, one out of three ain't bad (I'm not saying which one)
Soon Gary is the talk of the clubhouse as he wins the monthly tournament - though the image on the front of the papers is him, ahem, taking himself in hand, on the 18th green at the moment of victory. They were complaining about that one in the clubhouse I fear.
Through a series of unlikely events Gary qualifies for the Open, and he is soon hanging out with his golfing heroes. He more than holds his own in the competition, though his constant swearing is rubbing up the committee men the wrong way. Relief is at hand though as his caddy finds a novel way of stopping the profanity.
Another narrative arc has pikey brother Lee going for a big drug deal, but he totally screws it up, and is on the run for his life from the local Mr Big, a man who thinks nothing of administering brutal, messy and very bloody justice to those that have wronged him.
A joyful and funny romp featuring profanity in buckets, infidelity, murder, gangsters - worth a read.
Then Gary gets hit smack in the temple by a golf ball. After lying in a coma for a few days he wakes up to find that he has a perfect golf swing, tourettes syndrome and a compulsive urge to masturbate at times of great stress. As Meatloaf didn't say, one out of three ain't bad (I'm not saying which one)
Soon Gary is the talk of the clubhouse as he wins the monthly tournament - though the image on the front of the papers is him, ahem, taking himself in hand, on the 18th green at the moment of victory. They were complaining about that one in the clubhouse I fear.
Through a series of unlikely events Gary qualifies for the Open, and he is soon hanging out with his golfing heroes. He more than holds his own in the competition, though his constant swearing is rubbing up the committee men the wrong way. Relief is at hand though as his caddy finds a novel way of stopping the profanity.
Another narrative arc has pikey brother Lee going for a big drug deal, but he totally screws it up, and is on the run for his life from the local Mr Big, a man who thinks nothing of administering brutal, messy and very bloody justice to those that have wronged him.
A joyful and funny romp featuring profanity in buckets, infidelity, murder, gangsters - worth a read.
April 17, 2018
After finally getting round to reading Kill Your Friends I have become a Niven devotee .. it’s so hard to find funny books that will actually make you laugh out loud, that has dark comedic themes, that is ironic and rude and extremely sweary and cuts so close to the bone sometimes you might actually wince. John Nivens books are all of the above coupled with get characters, plots & storylines and a superb deatailed eye ... More Niven now!
April 14, 2014
I don’t care about golf. At all. To badly paraphrase the late great George Carlin “imagine…hitting a ball. And then…HITTING IT AGAIN!” That’s pretty much how I feel about it.
That said, this book is hilarious. I wish I’d written it.
Gary Irvine is a horrible golfer with a cheating wife, a wannabe thug brother, and an eighteen handicap. One day, he hits an absolutely perfect shot…and at the same time is struck in the head by a golf ball. When he wakes up, he has the perfect swing, a horrible case of Tourette’s syndrome, and one other embarrassing side effect I won’t mention here. With his new swing and new game, he is a new man, incapable of making a bad shot. His life changes as he rises to the final round of the British Open against Calvin Linklater, the best golfer in the world. But unbeknownst to him, there is so much more riding on his game than he can possibly realize.
The Amateurs is the second book I have read from John Niven, the other being “Kill Your Friends.” Again, I laughed out loud at the ridiculous situations (the bit about ejaculating into a golf glove brought tears to my eyes) and it was thoroughly enjoyable throughout. It’s the type of story I love to read, one that almost makes me want to care about golf. Like I said, I wish I’d written it.
That said, this book is hilarious. I wish I’d written it.
Gary Irvine is a horrible golfer with a cheating wife, a wannabe thug brother, and an eighteen handicap. One day, he hits an absolutely perfect shot…and at the same time is struck in the head by a golf ball. When he wakes up, he has the perfect swing, a horrible case of Tourette’s syndrome, and one other embarrassing side effect I won’t mention here. With his new swing and new game, he is a new man, incapable of making a bad shot. His life changes as he rises to the final round of the British Open against Calvin Linklater, the best golfer in the world. But unbeknownst to him, there is so much more riding on his game than he can possibly realize.
The Amateurs is the second book I have read from John Niven, the other being “Kill Your Friends.” Again, I laughed out loud at the ridiculous situations (the bit about ejaculating into a golf glove brought tears to my eyes) and it was thoroughly enjoyable throughout. It’s the type of story I love to read, one that almost makes me want to care about golf. Like I said, I wish I’d written it.
April 3, 2020
'The Amateurs' - John Nivens' hilarious novel telling the story of Gary Irvine, hapless and hopeless amateur golfer, an errant golf ball and a single life-changing event.
All combined with the criminal underworld, an unfortunate and estranged brother, fractured family relationships, along with sporadic out of body experiences - 'The Amateurs' provides a winning combination thereof and it's compellingly very funny.
Don't let the golfing theme put you off reading 'The Amateurs' in any way. I am neither a golfer nor a fan and have absolutely no interest in the sport whatsoever - but somehow, to his credit, Niven manages to instill interest and draw the unsuspecting non-golfing reader into a bizarre tale set in the most bizarre of all sports - golf.
All combined with the criminal underworld, an unfortunate and estranged brother, fractured family relationships, along with sporadic out of body experiences - 'The Amateurs' provides a winning combination thereof and it's compellingly very funny.
Don't let the golfing theme put you off reading 'The Amateurs' in any way. I am neither a golfer nor a fan and have absolutely no interest in the sport whatsoever - but somehow, to his credit, Niven manages to instill interest and draw the unsuspecting non-golfing reader into a bizarre tale set in the most bizarre of all sports - golf.
January 21, 2013
To most people, golf may not be the most exciting thing to read about. That, however, should not deter anyone from reading this book. It presents a fascinating narrative with striking humor, hard-core Scottish gangsters, and Tourette syndrome.
Right off the bat, the main character, Gary Irvine, is introduced. He's just a regular Scottish guy, living in a middle-class house, with a passion for golf. The only problem is that he has the most horrible, abominable swing ever. However, he is married to his incredibly attractive wife Pauline. The only problem is that she craves wealth and fame, neither of which Gary has. "Naturally" she decides to cheat on him with the "Carpet King of Scotland", the millionaire Findlay Masterson. He, in turn, is married to his obese wife. If only he could get rid of her. Enter Gary's brother Lee. Lee has been slightly less lucky than Gary and been in association with the criminal element for slightly too long. However, he is not the most talented outlaw and after having screwed yet another drug-deal, the local crime boss Ranta Campbell gives him one last chance. Lee has to kill Masterson's wife. Unknowing of most of this, Gary enters a tournament at his local golf club and, true to his previous luck, does horribly. After having broken out in tears, he then has a practice session with a senior member of the golf club. And suddenly, after having botched a few more swings, he finally hits the perfect shot. Only to pass out after having been hit in the head with a golf ball. He wakes up days later in the hospital and finds that he has severe cranial trauma. Though debilitated at first, he later heads out to the golf course again and makes a miraculous discovery. He simply can't hit a bad shot! However, side effects manifest themselves in Gary gaining Tourette syndrome and the compulsion to engage in some quite inappropriate acts. With his new golfing ability, he wins his club's monthly tournament and after another tournament even qualifies for an amateur spot in the Open. There he must compete with the world's top golfers as well as his own involuntary compulsions. And as events turn out, his success in the competition could determine the fates of Pauline, Lee, Findlay Masterson, and even Ranta Campbell.
I found this novel to be an incredibly fun read. The narrative flowed very nicely and always created enough suspense for me to want to read on. The book as a whole had a quite Scottish theme, as most of the dialogues were written in Scottish, calling for some deciphering at times. Many parts of the narrative have very gritty realism, making parts of the story quite dark. At the same time, however, the novel as a whole was incredibly hilarious, with the strangest of situations around every corner. I would most certainly recommend this book to anyone who likes humorous writing and emotionally engaging stories.
Right off the bat, the main character, Gary Irvine, is introduced. He's just a regular Scottish guy, living in a middle-class house, with a passion for golf. The only problem is that he has the most horrible, abominable swing ever. However, he is married to his incredibly attractive wife Pauline. The only problem is that she craves wealth and fame, neither of which Gary has. "Naturally" she decides to cheat on him with the "Carpet King of Scotland", the millionaire Findlay Masterson. He, in turn, is married to his obese wife. If only he could get rid of her. Enter Gary's brother Lee. Lee has been slightly less lucky than Gary and been in association with the criminal element for slightly too long. However, he is not the most talented outlaw and after having screwed yet another drug-deal, the local crime boss Ranta Campbell gives him one last chance. Lee has to kill Masterson's wife. Unknowing of most of this, Gary enters a tournament at his local golf club and, true to his previous luck, does horribly. After having broken out in tears, he then has a practice session with a senior member of the golf club. And suddenly, after having botched a few more swings, he finally hits the perfect shot. Only to pass out after having been hit in the head with a golf ball. He wakes up days later in the hospital and finds that he has severe cranial trauma. Though debilitated at first, he later heads out to the golf course again and makes a miraculous discovery. He simply can't hit a bad shot! However, side effects manifest themselves in Gary gaining Tourette syndrome and the compulsion to engage in some quite inappropriate acts. With his new golfing ability, he wins his club's monthly tournament and after another tournament even qualifies for an amateur spot in the Open. There he must compete with the world's top golfers as well as his own involuntary compulsions. And as events turn out, his success in the competition could determine the fates of Pauline, Lee, Findlay Masterson, and even Ranta Campbell.
I found this novel to be an incredibly fun read. The narrative flowed very nicely and always created enough suspense for me to want to read on. The book as a whole had a quite Scottish theme, as most of the dialogues were written in Scottish, calling for some deciphering at times. Many parts of the narrative have very gritty realism, making parts of the story quite dark. At the same time, however, the novel as a whole was incredibly hilarious, with the strangest of situations around every corner. I would most certainly recommend this book to anyone who likes humorous writing and emotionally engaging stories.
April 30, 2015
Having just read, and loved, The Second Coming - Click here to read my review - I was eager to read more John Niven, and I am pleased to confirm that The Amateurs is up to the same high standard.
The usual ingredients, humour, good writing, great characters, originality and a pacy, increasingly compelling story, are all present and correct.
One review on the book’s cover makes this unlikely claim: “believe it or not, this novel makes golf look interesting” and somewhat surprisingly I have to agree.
As with other books by John Niven, if you dislike profanity and violence this is best avoided, otherwise you’re in for a treat.
4/5
The usual ingredients, humour, good writing, great characters, originality and a pacy, increasingly compelling story, are all present and correct.
One review on the book’s cover makes this unlikely claim: “believe it or not, this novel makes golf look interesting” and somewhat surprisingly I have to agree.
As with other books by John Niven, if you dislike profanity and violence this is best avoided, otherwise you’re in for a treat.
4/5
April 22, 2022
Fun and fizzy, bordering on the ridiculous that somehow you still sort of believe, but way too long for the story, the novel is set in Ayrshire, Scotland and features thick Scottish dialect-dialogue throughout. It mostly stars a hapless Gary Irvine whose love for golf is not outweighed by his inability to improve at golf, his times on the course a meld of humiliation and desolation when he, often, shanks his balls. Married to his high school sweetheart Pauline, although only Gary thinks they are still sweethearts, on his birthday, he goes out to play golf, is hit in the head with a golf ball, an accident that will give him what he's always wanted. Mix that in with a clan of Scottish criminals, Gary's older brother, himself a low-level criminal, who gets himself into serious trouble with that clan, and the Open in Scotland, and you've got this book.
June 10, 2021
Funniest book I've read in years...you don't have to love or even like golf to enjoy it. Niven's humor is sometimes overly dark and pretty much always explicit but in either case will make you literally lol the whole way through
March 19, 2018
Well, that was different.
I really had great time reading it, it was fun, light and dark at the same time, and great Scottish humour ! I laughed quite a few times out loud, which doesn't occur often.
And the good new is, you don't have to be interested in golf to actually enjoy this book ! I know barely nothing on the subject, but still managed to understand (almost) eveything, and was all tensed up during the Open Championship.
A great read !
I really had great time reading it, it was fun, light and dark at the same time, and great Scottish humour ! I laughed quite a few times out loud, which doesn't occur often.
And the good new is, you don't have to be interested in golf to actually enjoy this book ! I know barely nothing on the subject, but still managed to understand (almost) eveything, and was all tensed up during the Open Championship.
A great read !
February 23, 2021
Fun, fast-paced and violent. Full of great characters too. Classic Niven. Highly recommended!
November 1, 2022
THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED!!!!
“”Worried about your brother, so ah am.” (An interesting aspect of the type of deep Ayrshirese Cathy spoke: the double qualification, following the proclamation you have just made with an additional affirmative.”
Firstly I’ll start by saying this book ticks the box for offensive all over the shop. It’s meant for a certain type of reader; so if that’s not you then definitely don’t waste your money. It’s not necessarily aged well especially with the language used. Casual racism, homophobia, use of certain words to refer to disabled people, demeaning phrases to women and lots of chat around mens genitalia of course….. and then the fact it’s a book about golf the worst sport in the world…..
And I do not excuse any of the above…..
There was just something about it that was gripping! Taking away the use of the outdated, slightly racist and homophobic toxic masculine language this story would still hold up and still be utterly hilarious and clever (in fact it would 100% have been a five star if all this was removed). Think Scottish Ayrshire Happy Gilmore with gang violence, drugs and just good old working class drama.
Let me be quite Frank that this is a book of horrid people (well… except wee Cathy she’s salt of the earth so she is) and I couldn’t help but read on about each and every one of them. It’s total stereotypical Ayrshire full of wee bams and dafties galore. Being from there myself I can pinpoint exactly who these people represent from my own town. And actually including horrid language it’s them down to a T!
And as much as I shook my head and rolled my eyes at more than a few bits; I also laughed and laughed and laughed. Taking me back to the days of Chewing The Fat and just daft Scottish humour.
As for the golf…. I don’t think I’ve ever been so invested in a game in my puff! It was gripping and clever and added a different dimension to the book that I haven’t seen from many. It made me appreciate how someone might love the game where I hate it; without being overly golf tastic!
Hang on… do I like golf now?
“”Worried about your brother, so ah am.” (An interesting aspect of the type of deep Ayrshirese Cathy spoke: the double qualification, following the proclamation you have just made with an additional affirmative.”
Firstly I’ll start by saying this book ticks the box for offensive all over the shop. It’s meant for a certain type of reader; so if that’s not you then definitely don’t waste your money. It’s not necessarily aged well especially with the language used. Casual racism, homophobia, use of certain words to refer to disabled people, demeaning phrases to women and lots of chat around mens genitalia of course….. and then the fact it’s a book about golf the worst sport in the world…..
And I do not excuse any of the above…..
There was just something about it that was gripping! Taking away the use of the outdated, slightly racist and homophobic toxic masculine language this story would still hold up and still be utterly hilarious and clever (in fact it would 100% have been a five star if all this was removed). Think Scottish Ayrshire Happy Gilmore with gang violence, drugs and just good old working class drama.
Let me be quite Frank that this is a book of horrid people (well… except wee Cathy she’s salt of the earth so she is) and I couldn’t help but read on about each and every one of them. It’s total stereotypical Ayrshire full of wee bams and dafties galore. Being from there myself I can pinpoint exactly who these people represent from my own town. And actually including horrid language it’s them down to a T!
And as much as I shook my head and rolled my eyes at more than a few bits; I also laughed and laughed and laughed. Taking me back to the days of Chewing The Fat and just daft Scottish humour.
As for the golf…. I don’t think I’ve ever been so invested in a game in my puff! It was gripping and clever and added a different dimension to the book that I haven’t seen from many. It made me appreciate how someone might love the game where I hate it; without being overly golf tastic!
Hang on… do I like golf now?
June 21, 2023
I have to admit that I’ve followed John Niven on Twitter for some time and have always enjoyed his posts whether on golf, food, politics, writing or just life in general but I’ve never previously read any of his novels. I decided to put that right and started with this The Amateurs, a novel featuring both golf and crime, two topics close to my heart. Gary Irvine, a 19 handicap golfer gets hit on the head by a golf ball and on recovery his finds his golf game transformed however it has also left him with a couple of debilitating and deeply embarrassing side effects. Gary’s wife is having an affair with a local carpet tycoon and Gary’s criminally inclined brother is deep in hock to a local gangster and proceedings come to a head on the final day of the British Open Golf Championship.
I found this novel to be a highly entertaining and extremely funny and it has some genuine laugh out loud moments. You’ve got to suspend disbelief a bit at Gary’s rapid improvement regarding his golf skills but that aside, as a struggling golf ‘hacker’ myself, I found I could really relate to Gary. Now that I’ve sampled Niven’s writing, I’m looking forward to sampling more of his work but meanwhile I continue enjoying his social media commentary.
I found this novel to be a highly entertaining and extremely funny and it has some genuine laugh out loud moments. You’ve got to suspend disbelief a bit at Gary’s rapid improvement regarding his golf skills but that aside, as a struggling golf ‘hacker’ myself, I found I could really relate to Gary. Now that I’ve sampled Niven’s writing, I’m looking forward to sampling more of his work but meanwhile I continue enjoying his social media commentary.
April 19, 2020
Absolutely incredible. The energy in this book is astounding, it ramps up so much in the last 50 pages that I was desperate to know what was going to happen. I loved the Scottish dialect written in. It was hilarious, dirty, and very touching in places. The last bit of text with Gary and his dad chatting I found especially emotional. I've never been interested in golf before, but I am so, so glad I read this!
March 31, 2021
Just a comedic novel with a little bit of suspense thrown in. The dialogue was great. Authentic and hilarious. The book reads a bit like a screenplay but that doesn’t detract from the entertainment value in the least.
February 8, 2025
Stupid but funny, and actually very well written. Most I’ve loled at a book in ages.
April 9, 2025
Awesome read. Laugh out loud funny in parts, especially the golf passages and violent as hell in other parts. Highly recommended. Thanks Tom!
October 10, 2019
As with all John Niven's novels, a cracking good read and a great page-turner. You don't have to be a golfer to appreciate it but it might help to have a rudimentary understanding of the game and its many frustrations!
It is nowhere as 'on the nose' hardcore as 'Kill Your Friends' and 'Kill 'Em All' and our protagonist here is as much of a polar opposite to Steven Stelfox as you might ever hope find in a Niven novel. However, that makes it no less enjoyable, even if it won't have you in stitches (or shock) as often as Niven's observations of the slice and dice of the music industry did me.
Our hapless and occasionally hopeless hero is a Gary Irvine who you will firmly root for from the beginning. As ever, it's a very enjoyable ride. Niven is a talent, he draws rich characters naturally and assembles situations and narrative seamlessly. The dialogue easily comes to life with spot-on comedic timing, no mean feat as a writer.
It is nowhere as 'on the nose' hardcore as 'Kill Your Friends' and 'Kill 'Em All' and our protagonist here is as much of a polar opposite to Steven Stelfox as you might ever hope find in a Niven novel. However, that makes it no less enjoyable, even if it won't have you in stitches (or shock) as often as Niven's observations of the slice and dice of the music industry did me.
Our hapless and occasionally hopeless hero is a Gary Irvine who you will firmly root for from the beginning. As ever, it's a very enjoyable ride. Niven is a talent, he draws rich characters naturally and assembles situations and narrative seamlessly. The dialogue easily comes to life with spot-on comedic timing, no mean feat as a writer.
Read
August 6, 2011Well - if you want to have people looking at you, then go and read this book in public. I did and startled everyone by chortling out loud several times. I found this one of the funniest reads I've had in a long time, and would recommend it. I guess some people who are not golfers may find some elements of that a bit hard going but certainly worth putting that to one side. Some may find the language "interesting" in it, particular as the swearing is written in Scottish venacular which means non Scots need to think about it a bit - again though - worth the trouble. Some rather brutal sequences too, as well as some tremendous humour throughout. I'd not come across Niven before and I got half way through this before ordering "Kill your friends". As I write this I'm still smiling at the fun of this book - not often that happens!
December 13, 2015
I wasn't able to finish this novel. I borrowed it from the library, and could only get to 21% finished with it before I had to stop. I didn't find it very interesting, and I could not find any attachment to any of the many, many characters. So when a mobster used a golf club to explode some poor dudes balls, I completely lost any interest in what happened next. Not that this novel is too violent; I grew up reading early Stephen King. But golf, and the lead characters interested me about as much as watching paint dry, so I am turning this ebook back in, unfinished. Sorry, Niven.
March 21, 2016
I've had a filthy cold for the last few days and this was the perfect read to cheer me up. Do you need to be a golf fan to enjoy it? No, definitely not. All you need is a broad sense of humour. Part farce, part sports novel, part thriller, it's a roller coaster ride with some great characters and mad set ups. I don't want to tell you more, I want you to enjoy it for yourself. John Niven is easily one of the funniest and filthiest writers around. So unless you are a po-faced dullard from Dullsville, grab a copy and thank me later.
April 13, 2014
Let me start by saying, I'm not a fan of golf, not by a long shot. I really don't feel you have to be to enjoy this book. I think it probably helps more to understand Scottish patter and humour. This really is a funny book, I'm not usually one for laughing out loud while reading, mostly the odd snort or chuckle, but this one had me crying with laughter in parts. Add on top of that a solid story with some interesting characters and you have one brilliant book.
July 8, 2014
I laughed out loud while reading this more times than any other book I've read in the past several years.
I'm glad it didn't go all weird like Kill Your Friends, and surprised that it didn't get predictable.
John Niven is a much better writer than Christopher Brookmyre, whose books I'm reading at the same time.
I'm glad it didn't go all weird like Kill Your Friends, and surprised that it didn't get predictable.
John Niven is a much better writer than Christopher Brookmyre, whose books I'm reading at the same time.
May 12, 2020
Couldn't get over the main characters obsession with golf. I know it was meant to be about golf but his love for it was just a bit... too much. Gave up on it.
July 1, 2020
Very funny, dynamic, great plot, warm-hearted in spite of the sometimes ferocious things happening (but the setting makes it funny, and lets us forget that these things, and worse, really happen. Here one can just laugh. It is 'only' a story, with suspense). Suspense, and continuous real good humour.
Language/style
Ow! That language! How horrible was that for me - English is not my first nor my second language, so you can imagine... I needed to do an effort during the first chapters. Then I got used to the language many of the characters use: low-class AND Scottish, that gives me a double... handicap in reading English.
But I managed. It is not too difficult. I did not understand everything, but the story was so funny that I did not mind.
I have seen that this book has been translated in German. It must be hopeless for a translator to do this job, the reader will never have the same funny experience like when reading it in English - even without understandig all of it.
Golf
I did not know much more about golf than there were balls, clubs, holes and a caddie. What I have learnt is that there are handicaps as well, but although I looked it up twice, don't ask me how this works. My understanding about golf hasn't improved. And yes, sometimes the many descriptions of the game became a bit annoying. But it remains remarkable how many ways Niven has found to make pages of suspense and laughter for one single ball to be hit, even for readers who do not know the game.
Even if I do not know anything about golf, it was really funny and exciting.
Language/style
Ow! That language! How horrible was that for me - English is not my first nor my second language, so you can imagine... I needed to do an effort during the first chapters. Then I got used to the language many of the characters use: low-class AND Scottish, that gives me a double... handicap in reading English.
But I managed. It is not too difficult. I did not understand everything, but the story was so funny that I did not mind.
I have seen that this book has been translated in German. It must be hopeless for a translator to do this job, the reader will never have the same funny experience like when reading it in English - even without understandig all of it.
Golf
I did not know much more about golf than there were balls, clubs, holes and a caddie. What I have learnt is that there are handicaps as well, but although I looked it up twice, don't ask me how this works. My understanding about golf hasn't improved. And yes, sometimes the many descriptions of the game became a bit annoying. But it remains remarkable how many ways Niven has found to make pages of suspense and laughter for one single ball to be hit, even for readers who do not know the game.
Even if I do not know anything about golf, it was really funny and exciting.
November 21, 2022
Non serve sapere molto di golf per divertirsi con questo testo, il cui plurale del titolo andrebbe in realtà reso con un singolare, perché uno è il dilettante qui in gioco, Gary Irvine. Prometeo al contrario perché incapace di strappare agli dei l’unica arma di cui avrebbe bisogno, cioè il talento o almeno la decenza nel gioco, Gary scopre che solo col trauma può migliorare la propria vita. Bella scoperta, direbbe Freud -ma c’è molto più, in questo romanzo spassoso e perfettamente equilibrato tra elementi picareschi, affondi sentimentali e grande amore per il golf. Tutti gli altri protagonisti ruotano intorno a Gary senza mai risultare del tutto secondari, restituendo al lettore i gustosi quadri di una moglie insipida e squisitamente fallimentare, una mamma fragile e un fratello sciuscià quanto mai riuscito. Niven scrive con passione e anche un romanzo che potrebbe sembrare il classico passatempo da volo continentale (complici le copertine delle case editrici anglosassoni, spesso all’altezza degli inserti di DiPiù) risulta alla fine ben equilibrato e riuscitissimo nel ritmo mai scontato.
March 14, 2021
Einfacher Schreibstil aber eine nicht wirklich packende Geschichte. Für mich eher ein Buch für eine längere Zugfahrt oder ähnliches.
Interessant fand ich das Klüver-Bucy-Syndrom (= ein zuerst beim Affen entdecktes Syndrom. Beidseitige Schädigung der Temporallappen, einschließlich der Amygdala, die sich u.a. durch einen übersteigerten, enthemmten Sexualtrieb äußert. zum Beispiel durch eine Herpes-simplex-Enzephalitis oder durch die Folgen eines Schädel-Hirn-Traumas, einer zerebralen Durchblutungsstörung oder einer Hirnatrophie.)
https://www.thieme.de/de/psychiatrie-...
Interessant fand ich das Klüver-Bucy-Syndrom (= ein zuerst beim Affen entdecktes Syndrom. Beidseitige Schädigung der Temporallappen, einschließlich der Amygdala, die sich u.a. durch einen übersteigerten, enthemmten Sexualtrieb äußert. zum Beispiel durch eine Herpes-simplex-Enzephalitis oder durch die Folgen eines Schädel-Hirn-Traumas, einer zerebralen Durchblutungsstörung oder einer Hirnatrophie.)
https://www.thieme.de/de/psychiatrie-...
September 15, 2024
If you like golf buy this book. It starts out funny and just gets increasingly so throughout. There are some dark and violent bits and the language is quite bad but it all works perfectly in the story. I thought the was unnecessary and the book could have worked as well without it but it did set up a few good jokes.
The characters are good although the book is clearly written by a bloke. The setting is well described and the narration is great. They nailed all the different voices.
I laughed out loud listening to this book and have already bought it for someone else. Absolute gem. Would definitely recommend.
The characters are good although the book is clearly written by a bloke. The setting is well described and the narration is great. They nailed all the different voices.
I laughed out loud listening to this book and have already bought it for someone else. Absolute gem. Would definitely recommend.
March 1, 2018
Hilarious, violent, at times moving. Genuinely laugh out loud one minute, wincing in sympathy pain the next. A bit like golf itself really. Even if you aren't a golf fan, this book is enjoyable and easily readable and easy to understand. An amateur golfer qualifies for and ends up leading the Open Championship. Throw in a cheating, money grabbing wife, a nearly-fatal, coma inducing accident and a bunch of violent gangsters and the scene is set for a dramatic conclusion on the last hole of the last day of the Open....
Displaying 1 - 30 of 183 reviews