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Written Out Lib/E
Roger Olivetti's novels never set the world on fire as he had once hoped, but he's contented himself with a comfortable living as an editor, an apartment in downtown Manhattan, and a lovely and bestselling novelist wife. Then the bottom falls out of the publishing industry and his marriage simultaneously, and Roger finds himself living in the basement of his mother's house, in the Long Island town where he grew up.
While he attempts his comeback, old romances are rekindled and old friendships renewed. Things are beginning to look up, but choices that at first seem reasonable lead to preposterously catastrophic consequences, until Roger finds himself looking down at the body of a woman he's just murdered. Soon he's scrambling to stay a step ahead of the local mafia and his mother's book club, as they slowly puzzle out the identity of the killer.
Written Out is a comic thriller in the mold of Carl Hiaasen that deals with questions of class, free will, and whether it's possible to move back to the suburbs without losing your soul.
While he attempts his comeback, old romances are rekindled and old friendships renewed. Things are beginning to look up, but choices that at first seem reasonable lead to preposterously catastrophic consequences, until Roger finds himself looking down at the body of a woman he's just murdered. Soon he's scrambling to stay a step ahead of the local mafia and his mother's book club, as they slowly puzzle out the identity of the killer.
Written Out is a comic thriller in the mold of Carl Hiaasen that deals with questions of class, free will, and whether it's possible to move back to the suburbs without losing your soul.
Audio CD
Published January 31, 2020
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About the author
Howard Mittelmark
7 books101 followersI've been writing and editing for a long time. A while ago, I got together with Sandra Newman, and we put everything we had figured out reading and working on hundreds, possibly thousands, of published and unpublished novels, and put it all into How Not To Write A Novel. It's sort of an encyclopedia of mistakes every beginning writer makes. It's very funny. Really. You can read some excerpts at hownottowriteanovel.com. I can't guarantee you'll write a good novel if you read it, but it would be very hard not to write a better novel.
I used to review a lot: many, many books for Kirkus Reviews, and also for newspapers, including the New York Times and the Washington Post. So I have all these reviews sitting around, and I thought I'd post some of them here, which I'm mentioning to explain why some of my reviews read exactly like reviews that were written for Kirkus.
I used to review a lot: many, many books for Kirkus Reviews, and also for newspapers, including the New York Times and the Washington Post. So I have all these reviews sitting around, and I thought I'd post some of them here, which I'm mentioning to explain why some of my reviews read exactly like reviews that were written for Kirkus.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
January 25, 2020
Written Out is a fast moving, well written, and highly entertaining novel. It’s about a down on his luck book editor named Roger who gets sucked into crime and murder when failures in both his career and his marriage force him to move back to Long Island, the land of suburban sleaze (I come from a long line of Long Islanders, and I say this with much love). This novel feels like a classic suburban noir with a Double Indemnity vibe. Billy Wilder could have made it into a great movie.
Mittelmark skillfully builds the tension as Roger makes one bad decision after another and things begin to spiral out of control. He’s a weak and selfish character, and while the reader can’t help yelling, “No! Don’t do that!” every time he’s about to make another mistake, there’s a sort of nightmare logic to his actions, and they lead to nightmarish consequences.
I wrote a self-published novel about delusional failed writers who will never be published, and I particularly enjoyed watching Roger dealing with the kinds of characters who populated my novel, but from the other side of the relationship.
With its hapless protagonist, gangsters, murder, and femme fatale, this is the kind of crime novel I like. The fact that Written Out is also funny is just a bonus.
Read this. You’ll enjoy it.
Mittelmark skillfully builds the tension as Roger makes one bad decision after another and things begin to spiral out of control. He’s a weak and selfish character, and while the reader can’t help yelling, “No! Don’t do that!” every time he’s about to make another mistake, there’s a sort of nightmare logic to his actions, and they lead to nightmarish consequences.
I wrote a self-published novel about delusional failed writers who will never be published, and I particularly enjoyed watching Roger dealing with the kinds of characters who populated my novel, but from the other side of the relationship.
With its hapless protagonist, gangsters, murder, and femme fatale, this is the kind of crime novel I like. The fact that Written Out is also funny is just a bonus.
Read this. You’ll enjoy it.
January 20, 2020
Howard Mittelmark’s Written Out propels the reader through the life and experiences of Roger Olivetti, editor, writer, and husband of a famous novelist. Roger’s life has been mostly successful (though not as successful as his wife’s), and one bad choice after another lands him back in his home town where he makes more bad decisions and finds himself in all kinds of trouble. The worst of his trouble has to do with murder, but somehow we sympathize with Roger. We root for him, we shake our heads at him, and if we’re human at all we recognize ourselves in his occasionally profound stupidity. Anyone who’s ever done things they never dreamed they’d do will understand Roger.
How author Howard Mittelmark manages to include in this novel aging parents, stardom, self-publishing, ladies book clubs, infidelity, giant genitalia, vixen-like realtors, greedy adult children, economic inequality, and murder is fully beyond me. But he does it! And trust me you’ll want to read every word. This book is dark and funny, sweet and insightful in unexpected ways.
I read Written Out on an airplane flying from Dallas to Chicago and it *made my trip.* If you read the first page, you’ll be hooked. I read the first page out loud to my spouse, and she said, “That’s beautiful.” Buy a copy for yourself and one for a friend.
How author Howard Mittelmark manages to include in this novel aging parents, stardom, self-publishing, ladies book clubs, infidelity, giant genitalia, vixen-like realtors, greedy adult children, economic inequality, and murder is fully beyond me. But he does it! And trust me you’ll want to read every word. This book is dark and funny, sweet and insightful in unexpected ways.
I read Written Out on an airplane flying from Dallas to Chicago and it *made my trip.* If you read the first page, you’ll be hooked. I read the first page out loud to my spouse, and she said, “That’s beautiful.” Buy a copy for yourself and one for a friend.
May 29, 2022
One of the oddest books I’ve ever read.
It wasn’t what I expected.
It didn’t go where I thought it would go.
Every time I thought what the hell am I reading, I keep reading.
I did have some intense laugh out loud moments.
I was waiting at the end to be completely disappointed and instead in the end I was grinning almost laughing.
I felt very satisfied.
It wasn’t what I expected.
It didn’t go where I thought it would go.
Every time I thought what the hell am I reading, I keep reading.
I did have some intense laugh out loud moments.
I was waiting at the end to be completely disappointed and instead in the end I was grinning almost laughing.
I felt very satisfied.
February 21, 2020
This story, written in first person, (but not autobiographical, despite the Manhattan editor protagonist married to a naturally-gifted writer) is an absurd lark in the best ways, and delightfully pokes at several narrative tropes. It's madcap fun and reminds me a lot of the old Streisand/O'Neill movie "What's Up, Doc?" It has the same vibe.
Mittelmark made me laugh out loud a few times, shake my head, yell "What?!?" and smile while chuckling softly (a lot). It's all in good fun, though it does stir up a couple of existential questions, such as "Am I a good person?" and "Can you ever really go home again?"
Mittelmark made me laugh out loud a few times, shake my head, yell "What?!?" and smile while chuckling softly (a lot). It's all in good fun, though it does stir up a couple of existential questions, such as "Am I a good person?" and "Can you ever really go home again?"
July 1, 2020
I didn't especially enjoy this while reading it, and indeed there were times when I was skimming. but in memory it's growing on me.
Imagine New York nebbish who keeps being presented with difficult choices, and keep on choosing the one that looks the most sensible but is in fact utterly wrong. Imagine that each time he meets someone, a coin toss occurs for "is this a nice person?" and it comes down "No" every time.
The bad guys seem so ordinary, almost nice until you get to know them. But somehow they are all making their forced choices too, and not always the right one, and I dunno how the hell I got here but here I am!
And in the end, well, let's say that our nebbish doesn't ALWAYS draw the Queen of Spades.
Imagine New York nebbish who keeps being presented with difficult choices, and keep on choosing the one that looks the most sensible but is in fact utterly wrong. Imagine that each time he meets someone, a coin toss occurs for "is this a nice person?" and it comes down "No" every time.
The bad guys seem so ordinary, almost nice until you get to know them. But somehow they are all making their forced choices too, and not always the right one, and I dunno how the hell I got here but here I am!
And in the end, well, let's say that our nebbish doesn't ALWAYS draw the Queen of Spades.
September 24, 2019
A famous writer might give life to words. A kind-hearted murderer might take lives that have no meaning. But the wannabe writer, might-be murderer, protagonist in this novel ends up trying to rationalize when it will be okay to kill. Drawn slowly into a life he never wanted, Roger Olivetti can only hope he won’t get found out, while he tries to find something to write about. Then Mom comes onto the scene.
Dark comedy combines with existential questions in Howard Mittelmark’s Written Out. The protagonist isn’t likeable, but he’s not the least likeable character in his tale, and he might still be redeemable. Meanwhile other characters gather around, the net tightens, the mafia looms, and mystery and suspense share pages with laugh-out-loud humor.
Roger’s mom loves books and people. Roger loves books and security. Lisa and her friends love money. And money, sadly, isn’t found in publishing, especially if Roger can’t seem to write another book. Meanwhile Roger’s wife is doing fine; his wife’s lover doesn’t particularly love books. And his former agent hates him.
Maybe Roger’s being written out of the story of his life. Or maybe he’s going to write everyone else into the story he writes instead. Meanwhile he plays an unintended part in plots of someone else’s writing—hapless protagonist with no destination in sight. When he finally chooses his own path, after darkly laugh-out-loud detours, the ending might not be entirely happy, but it’s Roger’s own way forward and that’s what matters. And readers can ask, what lines would they cross too, by accident.
Disclosure: I was given a preview edition by the publisher and I freely offer my honest review.
Dark comedy combines with existential questions in Howard Mittelmark’s Written Out. The protagonist isn’t likeable, but he’s not the least likeable character in his tale, and he might still be redeemable. Meanwhile other characters gather around, the net tightens, the mafia looms, and mystery and suspense share pages with laugh-out-loud humor.
Roger’s mom loves books and people. Roger loves books and security. Lisa and her friends love money. And money, sadly, isn’t found in publishing, especially if Roger can’t seem to write another book. Meanwhile Roger’s wife is doing fine; his wife’s lover doesn’t particularly love books. And his former agent hates him.
Maybe Roger’s being written out of the story of his life. Or maybe he’s going to write everyone else into the story he writes instead. Meanwhile he plays an unintended part in plots of someone else’s writing—hapless protagonist with no destination in sight. When he finally chooses his own path, after darkly laugh-out-loud detours, the ending might not be entirely happy, but it’s Roger’s own way forward and that’s what matters. And readers can ask, what lines would they cross too, by accident.
Disclosure: I was given a preview edition by the publisher and I freely offer my honest review.
May 21, 2020
Darkly funny story of a hapless writer, forced to run home to Long Island gets in over his head with low-rent gangsters, accidentally becomes assassin. In other words, the best sort of crime novel.
May 28, 2022
Roger Olivetti's job is faltering, his marriage has failed, so he moves into his mother's basement on Long Island. In a series of disastrous decisions, he finds himself involved in murder and involvement with organized crime. Mittelmark's character is at once pathetic and so endearing that the reader cannot help but route for him despite the dreadful things he has done. This is a gem of a read and I highly recommend it.
May 3, 2020
If you need to like your protagonists from the outset, this book is not for you. But if you can have fun listening to the justifications and reasoning of a man coming undone, especially as he falls from his semi-lofty literary perch into murder, mob entanglement, and the smothering embrace of an overbearing murder, well then--lay on, Macduff. Not just every chapter, but every section left me eager to find out what would happen next, and just how deep a hole the narrator could dig for himself. It's just a plain old fun read, and we all need that from time to time.
May 6, 2022
4.5 stars. Funny!
December 29, 2019
This book was a very fun ride. I was drawn to it because I follow the author on Twitter and find his posts intelligent, funny, dryly cynical, philosophical and unique to read in a sea of uniformity. His full novel contains all of this plus the hand of a skilled writer and observer of modern society. The novel’s protagonist hits bottom, returns home to the suburbs from the big city to rebound yet keeps digging as he tries to rationalize and intellectualize his way out of his mess. Anyone with aging parents, senior care issues and the financial drain they often cause may empathize with the motives that lead the protagonists down this slippery slope. The cast of characters from his past and the NYC publishing world provide color and humor. Strong recommend.
September 15, 2021
Darkly amusing tale of a man who is almost entirely without self-awareness and, as we learn, also severely impaired in the ethical behavior department. I'm normally annoyed by such a protagonist, but Mittelmark's little truths here and there about working as a book editor (which I do) gave this story more than enough charm. That and the slow revelation that every one of the book's characters are constructed out of moral failings. Written Out is a quick and worthwhile read.
October 16, 2020
Do you ever finish a novel and wonder if the raving quotes on the back were the result of a ransom request rather than those famous and reliable people actually liking the book?
The cover is bad. And the novel didn't lean hard enough into the self-aware semi-philosophical monologues, definitely its strong suit.
The cover is bad. And the novel didn't lean hard enough into the self-aware semi-philosophical monologues, definitely its strong suit.
January 8, 2022
Really fun, but not *just* fun. Also darkly comic and insightful and moving, especially towards the end. There are some 'zany' plot elements, but just go with it. It's worth it.
October 2, 2022
Interesting concept, but falls way flat. The ending was one of the way-too-common lazy writers’ rush job—like dang, dug myself in too deep and don’t have the talent to wrap it all up, so I’ll just make it perfect and forgot about all that other stuff that went on…SO bad. The voices (I had audiobook)were like nails on a chalkboard…
the story did get somewhat interesting at one point, for a brief couple of chapters, and I held out promise for a solid, if not surprise, ending, when the main character walks into the house and has a confrontation with two women—but then it just completely died. Neat and tidy, stupidly smooth ending that crushed my hopes of not having wasted my time. Again.
the story did get somewhat interesting at one point, for a brief couple of chapters, and I held out promise for a solid, if not surprise, ending, when the main character walks into the house and has a confrontation with two women—but then it just completely died. Neat and tidy, stupidly smooth ending that crushed my hopes of not having wasted my time. Again.
April 18, 2025
Entertaining but creepy. A guy who's wrecked his previously lovely life finds himself at rock bottom with nothing giving in his mother's basement on Lon Island. Spoiler: After getting involved with a soulless woman, he starts on a path of murder and crime, as every possible move he makes turns against him. Finally he reaches equilibrium with success in writing his story and settling in with criminal buddies. Creepy that the reader has little remorse for his victims and applauds his undeserved success.
December 10, 2019
I started reading this because I've always really liked Howard's tweets, and so was curious to read the novel. I've ended up reading the entire thing in a single sitting, something I haven't done in a long while. It's fast-paced, gripping, and interspersed with ruminations about the nature of free will, human agency, and consciousness which I really enjoyed. A super fun, satisfying read.
October 24, 2020
This was funny and revealing of some of the inside/underside of the publishing world, with a "hero" who is wimpy, whiny, and often just stupid. I do balk at getting by with murder, but hey, this is supposed to be a fun story that comes to a good end--a few elderly ladies would disagree. For a bored and rainy afternoon, maybe.
November 11, 2020
3 3/4 stars
This was an enjoyable, short, black comedy that had me chuckling multiple times. The reason it’s not quite 4 stars is that there isn’t quite enough action. I look forward to reading more from this author.
This was an enjoyable, short, black comedy that had me chuckling multiple times. The reason it’s not quite 4 stars is that there isn’t quite enough action. I look forward to reading more from this author.
February 16, 2020
This would make a funny movie.
July 25, 2020
Darkly funny. Some literal laugh out loud moments. Definitely recommend it.
August 21, 2020
Excellent! Well written and very entertaining. A lot of laughs! This would make a great movie.
September 15, 2020
A little predictable but entertaining.
December 19, 2020
Extremely funny. Mittlemark is the man!
October 12, 2021
Not very good at all
February 20, 2020
Excellent. Fast paced, witty, engaging story about a guy who returns to his mother’s house on Long Island after his failed marriage and career as a writer. This all about bad choices and questionable lessons learned. I really enjoyed this book and read it in one sitting.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews