Between Grit and Grace Lib/E: How to Be Feminine and Formidable

by Dr Sasha K Shillcutt

MP3 CD Format Women need to know it's okay to be kind and assertive. Between Grit and Grace will show you that success comes when you are comfortable living in the space between grit and grace —grit meaning being resilient and taking charge of your life (socially-acceptable masculine attributes), and grace meaning showing others mercy (socially-acceptable feminine trait). Author Sasha Shillcutt, MD, will explain how to give yourself permission to disappoint nice people (and know that you are still a nice person anyway). You'll learn how to stop apologizing for showing your strength and grit, and embrace your grace, too. This is where personal peace lives.

Dr. Shillcutt taught herself how to be a gritty, grace-filled leader and live authentically. Now, she wants to help other women be brave enough to do the same. Her passion is empowering and encouraging women to be brave enough in their professional and personal lives. She believes women cannot be too brave, too kind, too strong, too smart, too funny, too beautiful, or too authentic.

Using real-life stories, the book explains how women can be feminine and formidable. Leadership and lipstick are not mutually exclusive. You'll realize you can be bossy and caring, fearless and vulnerable, relentless and forgiving, smart and humble—and make it to the top.

Genres: Nonfiction, Business, Self Help, Leadership, Feminism

Audio CD

Published April 25, 2020

Reviews

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was told to read this book, if I was a woman, if I was the supervisor of a woman, or if I worked with women. Well I work with women, so I read it. It was eye opening, as a male to see the obstacles that face women from a woman's perspective. I recommend this book to all women, and to men that work with, for, or in charge of women.

[Kristiana Cankowa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Определено от време на време обичам да разнообразявам с различен жанр книги от това което по-принцип чета и тази е точно такава. Признавам си че не бях сигурна дали ще бъде книга която ще ми хареса, но се оказа доста полезна и пригодена за доста голям набор от хора - в случая жени.

Искаш да постигнеш нещо повече в работата си, не те уважат или забелязват защото си жена и около теб има хора с толкова старо разбиране че жените трябва да си стоях вкъщи, да готвят, чистят и гледат децата, е тук идва и Д-р Шилкът. Това което много ми хареса в книгата й е че всичко примери, разсъждения и съвети които дава са лични примери и реално случили й се неща. Определено се убедих че книгата е много адекватна и то не само за жени на ръководни позиции, а за всяка една. Показва ни трънливият път към успеха, към това да обичаме себе си, да не позволяваме да ни подценяват, подиграват и да ни толерират като нещо по-малко и то само защото сме жени. Напротив - ние сме достатъчни!

В някои ситуации се познах самата аз. Също така накрая говореше за страха от провала, страх да не се изложим и да ни се подиграват и обиждат - този процес има много интересно име, "Синдром на самозванеца". Тук се припознах най-силно, по-едно или друго обстоятелство това винаги ми е пречило в дадени моменти и сега също се случва понякога.

Другият момент в който се припознах е момента с казването постоянно на сричката "ДА". Тя ни показва чрез реални случки, че понякога отговаряне с "НЕ", не е лошо. Е може би е лошо за този на когото отказваме, но в даденият момент е добро решение за самите нас.

Смятам че книгата е полезна и много мотивираща, точно защото един такъв човек като Д-р Шилкът в случая е базирала цялата книга на самият и личен живот. Много е лесно да се дават съвети за всичко, но когато лично си преминал през хубаво и лошо и го споделих без да те е срам и страх, то автоматично може да се даде най-адекватно решение за всичко особено свързано с същността на човек.

Тя не се срамува да си признае че е била подценявана в нейната сфера на работа, (започнала е като анестезиолог) защото е била жена, защото е имала деца и няма да се справи. Не се срамува да каже че е имала моменти на несигурност, отчаяние и самосъжаление, че е изпаднала дори и в депресия, но и дава решения на всички тези неща, отново чрез личния пример. Показва ни как може да бъдем едновременно силни и слаби, добри и лоши, но най-важното да се самоуважаваме и да разберем първо ние жените че сме равни на мъжете, след това на всички скептици, че не сме по-малко от тях, напротив - ЖЕНИ И МЪЖЕ, РАВНИ СМЕ!!!



"Посланието към жените е ясно: бъдете повече: Написах тази книга, за да се опълча на статуквото. Написах я, за да могат жените колективно да си поемат дълбоко дъх и да кажат: "Ние сме достатъчни." Няма нужда жените да бъдат повече от каквото и да било, различно от себе си. Ние сме достатъчни."



"Мога да имам сила на характера и да поемам отговорност и в същото време мода да проявявам милост. Мога да бъда едновременно колаборативна и решителна. Мога да съм едновременно грижовна и да бъда лидер."


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Благодаря Ви, за отделеното време!!!

[Vanessa Rogers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came across this title while reading a post about why a doctor was stepping back from their position at an academic facility. The description resonated with me as we're in the midst of a pandemic with a lot of restrictions and backlash from both the public and our provincial government and that puts a lot of pressure on me to be/do more.

Lots of reaffirming points in this one that I feel female professionals could easily relate to. Big ones for me: 1) don't apologize as a reflex, consider whether an apology is necessary or if an explanation/statement is more appropriate. 2) go for the opportunities that are important to you even if you don't feel ready, if the worst case scenario is just being told "no". 3) don't wait for a perfect opportunity to wear something or try something or do something you've been waiting for. 4) reinforcing my belief that I'm allowed to decline opportunities that don't line up well for me or aren't in my best interests (this happened just recently, and as a habitual "yes" person it felt CRAZY that I didn't volunteer to take on extra inpatients this week). There are probably more points that I agree with but these were the big ones that stood out to me. I've been trying to do more critical thinking on how to respond to inappropriate comments and questions from people so that I can model that for my students, and this gave me some ideas as well. It sounds awkward in my head to ask someone "can you repeat that" when they make a comment, but I'll add it to my list of phrases in my pocket to bring out next time it happens.

There were more religious undertones than I expected and the last chapter left me with a funny feeling because it seemed like Dr. Shillcutt implied people going through a dark time should turn inwards to fight their battle and then emerge renewed...? Which I find misleading and possibly dangerous, but perhaps that wasn't the intended message - still, it was vague and a little ominous, and that was the only part I didn't actually like.

Super quick read, recommended for the women in my life whether you're working from home or in a male dominated field.

[Ралица Нейчева · Rating 4 out of 5]

Книга, помагаща за личностното развитие на жената, незавимо от възрастта й. Изключителна полезна, съдържаща ценни съвети, как да бъдем смели и доказващи стойността си.

[Christie Hancock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been a follower of Sasha with her Style MD group and her podcasts. Initially my first impression of Sasha's tribe was this is a cult of super high-achieving women that are somehow pulling off being a perfect mother, an accomplished doctor, a respected leader with a side hustle that is very lucrative. And with all that, somehow look absolutely stunning doing it.

Then, as you hang out in Sasha's tribe (the Facebook group), you start to see how effective a sense of humor is with handling life. Start to see Sasha giving simple basic advice--just put on red lipstick and wear the blazer, not the cardigan. Start to see how you can trust a group of women to ask about best self tanners or how to ask for a raise when you learn your male counterpart makes more than you. Start to learn about how small changes you do in your life can build confidence.

I think the most I got out of the book was whatever you are trying to achieve, and feel like you can't because previous holders were men, you can define the role differently as a woman--and this may be even better. Also BE AUTHENTIC because it is just easier. And ensuring self care--power hours are needed.

I drank the koolaid.

[Danielle Routh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is both informative and affirming, highlighting how more is expected of women (even unconsciously) and then offering encouragement of how to change that expectation without losing ourselves. Some of it didn't apply to me (yet) because I don't have children, but I still enjoyed those parts and will definitely be keeping this book to reread. I enjoyed Shillcutt's engaging and sisterly tone and the many excerpts from professional women in all fields. Basically, every woman should read this book.

[CatReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate Dr. Shillcutt's advice about stopping and asking someone who's just said something sexist or otherwise inappropriate to you to repeat themselves and thus reflect upon and hopefully reconsider their words. As a woman in medicine, I've been subject to countless instances of casual sexism, and I've always been uncomfortable with how to respond. Do I just brush it off, laugh it off, pretend I didn't hear that? I've always been more willing to stand up for someone else who's being negatively judged than to stand up for myself. I also appreciate Dr. Shilcutt's journey in feeling comfortable standing her ground and not blanket-apologizing as a female physician in a society that seemingly always judges women harshly for being too feminine, not feminine enough, too masculine, etc. When I started my medical residency I was surprised to find out how harshly some people judged me for my polite and succinct communication style; I was basically told to make my communication more flowery and "throw some smiley faces in an email to soften your message." Surely none of my male colleagues would get that feedback or that judgment; instead they'd be praised for effectiveness in communicating that way. Being a female physician is never easy, but it's very encouraging to hear that Dr. Shilcutt was able to find empowerment and continued professional success when she stopped apologizing.

[Zee Monodee · Rating 3 out of 5]

It will take some sifting to get to the real nuggets in there, because the author talks a lot about her life and her own journey between grit and grace. While I get that we might need this for context, I really wanted her to point out what she was wanting to say at any given point, and also how this issue could affect the lives of other women who are not in the same shoes/field/industry as she is.
The book tells that women should be more 'this' but doesn't, for me, go enough in detail what 'this' actually stands for, what it looks like, how the women reading this can implement it.
It's a good book about women in the work force (especially corporate), but the message is slightly buried and you have to search deep to find it and then also how to apply it to your own life.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hate wearing high heels and don't enjoy lipstick. I am not trying to raise four children while performing as a bad-ass doctor. So most of this book, while I appreciate that it exists, doesn't really apply to me. But amidst chapters of "does not apply" were some incredible truth bombs: How the medical staff sees women and men leading resuscitations differently. I was in this situation just a few months ago, wondering "crap, do they all think I'm a major B---- now? I feel like they do!" Shillcutt not only recognizes the energy women physicians have to waste thinking of these things, but also the effort she's learned to adapt to these situations, "I'm going to be really direct and clear now..." that male physicians simply don't have to do.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This took me longer to read than I would have liked b/c of the pandemic. But Dr Shillcutt's writing really stuck with me. The ideas of being feminine but also being a force to be reckoned with in whatever field they are in really resonated with me and I think would with many other women who are in fields that are traditionally male dominated. I would highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to learn a little bit about themselves as well as push themselves to continue to do better. Wonderful book!!!

[Merry Johnson Muhsman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across this book because the author is from my home state of Nebraska. Our local paper published an interview with Dr. Shillcutt, and I needed something new to read. I have read a lot of self-improvement books, and this one by far cut through the noise. Perhaps it came at the right time, but it was the nudge I needed to get the courage to say "no" to things that weren't feeding my soul, and to make time for the purpose God is calling me to do. I highly recommend this book, as Dr. Shillcutt was real, honest and supportive on every page.

[Jennie · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is some helpful advice in here about how to be authentic as a woman when seeking leadership roles. Shillcutt councils not apologizing for turning down opportunities that don't suit and being prepared to label your communication strategies for audiences who aren't familiar with the research that indicates that women are often punished for negotiating or using assertive communication in the workplace.

[Rachelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Between Grit and Grace.... a female anasthesiologist shares her personal successes and struggles working in a male dominated healthcare industry. Providing research to back up her findings and insightful recognition that all women can lead if in the right mindset, she offers examples to help women achieve their best while practicing self care.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You are not required to light yourself on fire to keep others warm.” This really stuck with me as did her lessons on saying no, giving yourself an “hour of power” to work on you and look internally.

[Amy Debrucque · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a wonderful asset for all women to be successful in both vocation and in life.

[Torrey Hash · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wanted to read this book to gain deeper insights into diversity and inclusion in the workplace. As a business owner and manager in various fields, it's crucial for me to continuously expand my knowledge on this ever-growing topic. I was on the line between three and four stars here on Goodreads, but I decided that a four-star rating accurately reflects my assessment. With that in mind, while 'Between Grit and Grace' primarily focuses on experiences within the medical field, it could benefit from a more expansive exploration of diverse experiences beyond medicine. Sharing a broader range of experiences could enrich the narrative and appeal to a wider audience. It would provide insights and perspectives that extend beyond the confines of a specific profession.

Expanding the scope of experiences discussed could enhance the book's relatability and appeal, resonating with readers from diverse backgrounds and professions. I'm finding the reviews and comments here on Goodreads particularly enriching; they add to the value of the book. :)

In addition, the strategies presented in the book for navigating gender biases and stereotypes are invaluable. Acknowledging and validating emotions, seeking support, developing coping strategies, focusing on strengths and achievements, advocating for change, and educating and raising awareness are essential steps toward fostering resilience and empowerment in the face of adversity. These strategies resonate not only with women in medicine but with individuals in any field of work.

Overall, it's a good read, regardless of your gender...

[Alana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can see how this author would be a good and inspiring public speaker based on the ideas in this book. If written as a short speech, a lot of these ideas and phrases would sound great.
However the ideas don’t translate as well to a book. Overuse of buzzword like: grit, grace, authentic etc… was annoying. The multiple references to the actual writing of the book were odd and unnecessary. There is a lot about religion and god, which I didn’t relate to or enjoy, but I’m sure others might. Overall I didn’t feel like the ideas in this book were well executed. There is a lot of “tell” instead of “show”. There are also a lot of cliche phrases that sounded like they were pulled from a motivational quote website. I think this book could have been better written and edited.

[Mindy Darling · Rating 3 out of 5]

Her story is interesting and there is helpful information for professional women, especially those in medicine. Overall, the book reads as mostly vague and repetitive. She constantly talks about being authentic without really delving into that. I generally prefer 'empowering women' books that cite more psych studies and data. The last chapter is very strange. She describes being in a solitary kind of despair but opts to give zero context or info about how that happened or what it meant. You sort of get the impression she is a dynamic speaker who wanted to check the 'wrote a book' box.

[Melike Harfouche · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is very inspirational, but as a millennial with no kids and in the early stages of my career, I found that large sections of it didn't apply to me at all. There were a few chapters here and there that really spoke to me. I am also not very religious, and I found the ongoing references to God a bit suffocating.

[Youmna Gebril · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book, if it's for me I'd recommend it for every woman out there who wants to be successful without losing touch with her femininity. To embrace the way god created her and to stop assuming she should be everything to be enough.

[seriy moon · Rating 2 out of 5]

i didnt learn anything new

[Amelia Elena · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too much religious propaganda for my taste. Here and there some good advice.

[Daniela Perez-Velasco · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. Not for me.

[Cwelshhans · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not everything spoke to me, but there are some good truths that should stick.

[Nila Novotny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked that this book was written by a woman anesthesiologist from Nebraska. It helps bridge the gap between being female in a male dominated profession. There wasn't a whole lot to learn here that I didn't already know, and in the end she is promoting her brand. Brave Enough. She helps define what you should say "yes" to and "no" to. It might be good to go to one of her events.

[Ly Casnocha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had a good time with this and can't deny how valuable and contributing it is. Normally, people may find it difficult to balance both grace and strength, for the contradiction of these facets. It is undeniably that attaining a balance between them can be a challenge in a materialistic society. However, this book brought some interesting perspectives for people to apply for themselves. I really enjoyed this book.

[Laura E. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some good points but an unnecessary amount of religious commentary.