‘From the golden age of art movies and underground cinema to X-rated porn, splatter films, and midnight movies, this breathtaking thriller is a tour de force of cinematic fact and fantasy, full of metaphysical mysteries that will haunt the dreams of every moviegoer’
Well, bring it on! Except when the book arrived and the front cover advertised it as ‘Sunset Boulevard meet the DaVinci Code’ I felt some concern. This concern, it turns out, was the wrong reaction. The correct response would have been put the book back into its packaging, return it and never go near it again. Sadly for me, and lucky for you, I ploughed my way though all 672 pages so you won’t have to. What follows is a brief account of a tale that I hope will fill you with enough fear to not go investigating yourself.
In this book the reader is introduced to narrator and protagonist Jonathan Gates. This Jonathan is not hindered by any personality to speak of, nor has not much in the way of intellect. Most importantly, he has no motivation throughout the action and retelling of his story. It is never clear why he is undertaking his ‘quest of discovery’, why he persists, why he is even interested. In addition to this, Jonathan turns out to be irresistible to woman, which doesn’t make much sense, but then none of the characters in this novel are drawn as 3-dimensional beings with interior lives. None of this is helped by the clunky dialogue that makes it impossible to believe any of these people are real.
Additionally, both renowned and obscure Hollywood figures find in our vacant leading man a safe place to deposit mysterious snippets of information about an obscure early film director by the name of Max Castle and his work. What fun could have been had in exploring ‘The Golden Age of Cinema’, what provoking theory and doubt could have been sown in the readers mind! Alas, we are left with endless descriptions of non-existent movies that go on for pages and pages. The same ‘tricks’ are explained dozens of time till the reader is left in a comatose state.
This story has, at its heart, a secret society. Yet everything we learn about them could be summarised in about two pages. Then, at long last, when we reach the final act of the book and we learn a little more about these Orphans of the Storm it turns out the source of this information is highly unreliable. When our narrator awakes in the most unlikely of places with the most unlikely companion the novel stumbles from the ridiculous into the absurd. The author seems to have attempted to pack about seven narratives and five genres into one book.
As he does throughout the story, Jonathan passively accepts his situation without much deliberation or drive. He deduces that he has been ‘kidnapped’ by the order because he knows too much. But, he doesn’t. All the information he was given is negated, or highly suspicious. None of what came before is revealed to be true or false, thereby rendering all of it irrelevant. Perhaps this could make for an interesting read in the hands of someone more capable; elevating this doubt around the motives of a religious cult active in the movie industry, and by extension the reliability of the narrator, to a captivating thrill ride. However, the thought that most eloquently sums up the feeling one is left with at the end is quoted by our protagonist himself: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.