Iron Butterflies: Women Transforming Themselves and the World

by Birute Regine

This inspiring and compelling narrative weaves together stories of sixty successful women from all walks of life and throughout the world. The author spent several years in eight countries interviewing dynamic female role businesswomen, CEOs, a Congresswoman, a governor, an ex-Prime Minister, a Pulitzer Prize finalist, a Nobel Peace Prize laureate, a winemaker, artists, doctors, nurses, and many others. The author calls these women "Iron Butterflies" because they meld a will of iron with the gentle, nurturing touch of a butterfly. With disarming candor, these women talk about their struggles, their fallibilities, and their strengths in the journey to the top of their professions. Forging their leadership from an amalgam of masculine and feminine skills, all of these Iron Butterflies have transformed themselves and in doing so they are contributing to a larger social transformation. A key to this personal and social transformation rests in their ability to address vulnerability in themselves and those around them, and transform it into a crucible of healing, growth, and innovation. Knowing how to deal with vulnerability, in ourselves and with others, evokes feminine skills and values and is a key to the societal change so many are seeking. Critiquing the command-and-control style of leadership, derived from the gladiator concept of male invulnerability, the author convincingly demonstrates how traditional feminine skills and values-such as inclusion, empathy, a holistic perspective, relational skills, and emotional strength-can be applied to empower more people than ever before. Like the sixty Iron Butterflies profiled, leaders in the 21st century will paradoxically embrace vulnerability and durability, creating better working and living relationships for us all.

Genres: Nonfiction, Personal Development

299 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

Reviews

[Michelle McMorrow · Rating 3 out of 5]

An important book. I read this book as part of a local Women's Success Series. My biggest criticism of the book is that the stories of the sixty women Dr. Birute Regine interviewed are buried within dense statistics and, for lack of a better term, feminine rhetoric. For me, the stories we'd lost. My next criticism stems with the feminist rhetoric, which at times, I felt bordered on male bashing. Being married to an enlightened man and having raised an enlightened and sensitive 21year-old son, I felt the stereotyping of all men in this way was unfair. BUT, at the same time, I found the historical facts about life as a woman in America and other countries to be eye opening and fascinating. It reminded me how far women's rights in America have come and that it has not been that long ago since women have gained many of these rights. I was surprised to learn that, while better than many countries, there are other countries where women enjoy greater freedoms and respect. I was reminded that we have further to go.
And, finally, the theme of feminine leadership and vulnerability and it's connection to a more collaborative leadership style was fascinating and thought provoking.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

So far, I'm finding all of the women's words to be direct and inspiring, and there are actually a few examples of women who came to the "Iron Butterfly" mentality from the beginning, like Jody Williams and Ada, to serve as instruction. They come close to the opposite mentality when they muse about whether being more "like men" would have saved them some trouble, but they don't actually follow the "gladiator" model.

That said, the middle of the book (where I am now) is full of stories of women who followed the old model and grew their sense of purpose from a rejection of its tenants. I don't mind this so much, as it's very instructional, but a couple of the other reviewers take issue with this particular point, so I thought that while I'd add that the bulk of the book is taken up by people making a realization, not everyone has the same one.

My main issue with this book is the chapter lamenting the lack of feminist role models for the late 20th/early 21st century. After completely insulting young feminists for several pages by complaining that we don't exist, she quickly tacks on several paragraphs at the end that laud Bitch, Bust, and Jennifer Baumgartner, which barely scratches the surface of Third Wave feminism. It felt like an afterthought, as if she was trying to go along to get along with the tired commentary of her Second Wave buddies, and it falls flat. Has the author not heard of Jessica Valenti, Kathleen Hanna, The Third Wave Foundation, Riot Grrrl, feministing.com, Jezebel or any of the other tons of current feminists active today?

I know who most of the women are who she writes about in this book - they're in their 40s-70s and have been working for a long time - but what's missing is a truthful acknowledgement of the contributions of younger women and how they're navigating similar territory, which would have benefitted myself and other young feminists (see other reviews here, for instance) more than plotting a course through the same familiar territory as other women her age. Yes, talking about the contributions of older champions of women's rights supports her thesis and are important, but by dismissing the past 20 years, she does a huge disservice to everyone. Like a female Bill-O, she waxes on and on about "the kids of today" without really understanding what that means, as if finding women who aren't aware of feminism is somehow new. (Hint: it's disturbing, but not novel!)

[Shana · Rating 2 out of 5]

(This review is by me but was originally posted on Elevate Difference).

In the eternal question of nature versus nurture, author and developmental psychologist Birute Regine leans comfortably towards nature. She embraces “feminine” qualities and calls for women the world over to do the same. While the anecdotes and reflections she chooses to share are indeed compelling and inspirational, the book as a whole can be off-putting if you do not necessarily prescribe to the idea of gendered personality traits.

One major theme running throughout Iron Butterflies is the need to reject and reform what she calls “gladiator culture,” which is defined by its aggressive, macho, and violent nature. This, Regine writes, is the source of many societal ills. The book is then a call to action for women around the globe to effect change through compassion, empathy, and caring—the antidote to gladiator culture. By accepting and uncovering innately feminine qualities, women can improve their own quality of life while also creating social change in their communities and in the larger world.

Though gender biases, discrimination, and violence continue to exist in full force, further emphasis on the “inherent” differences between men and women feels uncomfortable and one-sided. Instead of gendering characteristics, a more inclusive approach would have been to look deeper into how these traits have come into existence and examine the larger society as a whole for ways that everyone can integrate compassion, for instance, into their daily behavioral repertoire.

Regine does recognize this point in a few isolated moments, but looking at a scale with nature on one side and nurture on the other, she falls much closer to nature. With chapters entitled, “Tears: Heal the Hidden Wound,” and “Chrysalis: Shedding Self-Imposed Limitations,” the general tone of the book is New Age-y self help, with the inclusion of various ethnic and cultural metaphors. The core message is one of positive change and growth, but the means of achieving them may not resonate with all readers.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Birute Regine
Iron Butterflies
http://www.ironbutterflies.com

This author's current email signature sums up this book in one line: "When sleeping women wake, mountains move." Chinese proverb

I came across this book and downloaded the first free chapter to consider it before I purchased. I devoured the first chapter and knew I needed the book, fast.

Although this book is written to speak to women in business, it affects all women and can walk you through the transitions from what the author refers to as an Amazon, to a Shape Shifter to an Iron Butterfly as we work through male dominated industries and old ideas about the roles of women. She takes her readers on a gentle path of exposition, awakening and action so smoothly and tenderly you don't realize what she is building you up for until you arrive at the chapter that speaks to you.

Ms. Regine develops a relationship with her reader that allows them to get comfortable through the initial chapters and then she becomes more intimate by revealing more about herself and her profiled Iron Butterflies as the reader travel through the book. What struck me is after reading the profiles of many successful women in predominately male industries, I noticed Iron Butterfly qualities in the testimonials men and women were giving about these successful women.

I not only recommend this book for women in business and in any relationship; but for the men who wish to lead them with a more productive style; abandoning the gladiator techniques that are falling away in this new era of women.

[Joanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book more than I did. After I heard the author give a talk, I was expecting a really ground breaking, inspirational book about how women can take a leadership role in their communities. The premise and individual stories are all interesting, but somehow it didn't add up for me. For one thing, I feel like almost all of the women came to the "iron butterfly" model after having built up a career on the "gladiator" model, and nowhere is it addressed that these women had all earned themselves respect in the boys game before going out on a limb. Could a woman go out into the work world and adopt an iron butterfly attitude from the start and still earn respect? I feel like that is the real question, and this book didn't answer it.

That said, I did enjoy the book. She takes a plethora of real life examples and weaves an image of female power and leadership based in the real world, and I appreciate that. If more women can follow the example of iron butterflies, then maybe the unanswered question I raised will become a mute point!

[JHM · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was very disappointed with this book. I ordered it from the library expecting stories of individual women who have made a significant impact in the world. Instead, author Regine uses anecdotes from interviews to highlight a not-particularly-original discussion of the challenges of women achieving positions of influence in what is still largely a man's world -- particularly when they started out. There is no question that there are still double-standards for women, and that there are better, healthier ways for everyone (not just women) to make their mark than adopting the old "gladiator" style of traditional business and politics. I just feel that I would have learned a lot more if the women interviewed for this book had been allowed to tell their own stories rather than have them sifted and blended by the author.

[Brianna Elsass · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was a little disappointed. I was able to hear the author speak at my work one time for a Women's Network event and had decided to pick up the book from listening to her talk. What I hadn't realized was that she had pulled the most interesting and valuable lessons out of the book for her talk. Some interesting stories about women but no real lessons. I agree that the issues she relayed are the issues women continue to face but there were no real lessons learned or calls to action. I was just hoping for more...

[Aspen Junge · Rating 4 out of 5]

By pulling together vignettes of successful women-- successful in the sense that they have business and/or political leadership positions, a domain held largely by men-- Regine makes her case that behaviors our culture labels "feminine," such as showing and acknowledging vulnerability, encouraging collaboration, fostering a "we're all in this together" team spirit, etc., have a positive impact on how business and government gets stuff accomplished.

[Laura Berger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such incredibly inspiring stories of more than 50 women leaders from all over the world who share their struggles, how they overcame discrimination, and the feminine strengths that empowered them to be leaders of influence in transforming the world.

Vulnerability and feminine power at its finest!

[Amy]

Putting this one away for now.
Perhaps I will pick it back up later.

[Marylu Tha trillz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Extremely inspiring and beneficial to all women who want to make a change in the world, to all future leaders. Touching true stories from a variety of extraordinary women.

[Lisa Salinas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Too ethereal for my taste.