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Straying Towards Truth: A Therapist's Personal Story and Professional Guide to Healing After Sexual Abuse
Clinical psychotherapist Karen Fennell’s Straying Towards Truth is a powerful tool for individuals, families, and therapists faced with the challenge of healing after a childhood sexual abuse history is revealed. Reading as much like a novel as a therapeutic guide, the author, whose son was a victim of sexual abuse, offers the alternating viewpoints of Sam, a young man who reveals his abuse; his mother, who must deal with her own shock and anguish; and a therapist. The therapist, whose insight is woven throughout, cites a multitude of cases to explain the “why’s and how’s” of sexual abuse recovery, adding a valuable educational perspective and healing guide for the reader. We witness a victim emerge from darkness, a family find strength to cope with grief and anger, and a therapist guide all through a morass of emotions. For anyone impacted by sexual abuse, the varied perspectives are a source of insight, awareness, and understanding. This is the book that begins the healing.
300 pages, Paperback
First published June 2, 2009
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
January 19, 2017
I felt like she got it
This book came at the right time for me. As I read it I kept thinking: finally! Someone gets it! Many Many times I felt like I was looking at my own life, reading the exact words I have felt but have never spoken to anyone out loud. I appreciated her vulnerability and openness, it wouldn't have been as big of a comfort to me without this because I did not want to read a textbook. The realities are there...all the things that only someone who intimately knows what it feels like to live in this situation could understand. She got me, and I felt like I was going back to speak to a friend. I am truly sad to have finished the book. It's what I grabbed for understanding and I was eager to see how life unfolded next for the author's family. I hope she feels and understands just how much she has touched me.
This book came at the right time for me. As I read it I kept thinking: finally! Someone gets it! Many Many times I felt like I was looking at my own life, reading the exact words I have felt but have never spoken to anyone out loud. I appreciated her vulnerability and openness, it wouldn't have been as big of a comfort to me without this because I did not want to read a textbook. The realities are there...all the things that only someone who intimately knows what it feels like to live in this situation could understand. She got me, and I felt like I was going back to speak to a friend. I am truly sad to have finished the book. It's what I grabbed for understanding and I was eager to see how life unfolded next for the author's family. I hope she feels and understands just how much she has touched me.
October 26, 2010
One out of every three people knows someone who has been impacted by childhood sexual abuse; we just don't know it because no one talks about it...
Karen E. Fennel’s story is courageous, sad and, ultimately, redemptive as a young adult and his family face down debilitating fallout from a revelation of ongoing sexual abuse. This is a crime that is too often not punished and routinely hushed up—especially in idyllic, affluent suburban enclaves. I know, because I grew up in the town where this happened.
Straying Toward Truth is a journey of heartbreak and healing told in three voices—victim, mother and therapist. It is a poignant memoir as well as a guide for navigating the process of recovery for individuals and families. Fennell’s honesty is staggering as she admits to her darkest moments as the parent of a child who has been repeatedly molested by his pedophile uncle. It may have been easier to just “drop it” or “get past it,” as most of Fennell’s extended family urged her to do, but it also would have been wrong. Whether or not the perpetrator is held legally or personally accountable, the victim must confront the truth of what happened in order to heal.
The book, like any worthwhile therapeutic process, is not designed as a quick fix. It details a thoughtful, honest process that ultimately leads to healing. It is realistic about the time such a journey can take, the grief involved and the up and down nature of the process. As a survivor, Sam is brutally honest about the toll sexual abuse has taken—its impact on his relationship with his girlfriend, his trust of others, his belief in himself. It is uplifting to see Sam’s evolution as he slowly crafts a new and healthy life. At the same time, it is clear that the entire family is affected when one its own is wounded. The idea of “family” is tested and both the author and victim ultimately redefine what constitutes “family” as they move forward.
The book's personal accounts are threaded with the therapist’s point of view on numerous issues that come up during the recovery process. That voice is extremely helpful in sorting out various strategies for healing—not every step is appropriate for every victim. For example, some need to tell a lot of people their story, while others are simply not served by that much self-disclosure. The individual therapist helps victims navigate the strategies that work best for their situation.
Our society needs to stop looking the other way when it comes to dealing with the ugly truth of sexual abuse. Too many children are wounded and exploited, even blamed, while their pedophiles walk nonchalantly down Main Street. It is a bizarre world where victims are made to feel like they are the dirty ones, the ones who’ve done something wrong. I applaud Karen Fennell and her son for breaking the obscene societal rules that encourage us to keep sexual abuse a secret. It’s a dirty secret and it needs more telling.
Karen E. Fennel’s story is courageous, sad and, ultimately, redemptive as a young adult and his family face down debilitating fallout from a revelation of ongoing sexual abuse. This is a crime that is too often not punished and routinely hushed up—especially in idyllic, affluent suburban enclaves. I know, because I grew up in the town where this happened.
Straying Toward Truth is a journey of heartbreak and healing told in three voices—victim, mother and therapist. It is a poignant memoir as well as a guide for navigating the process of recovery for individuals and families. Fennell’s honesty is staggering as she admits to her darkest moments as the parent of a child who has been repeatedly molested by his pedophile uncle. It may have been easier to just “drop it” or “get past it,” as most of Fennell’s extended family urged her to do, but it also would have been wrong. Whether or not the perpetrator is held legally or personally accountable, the victim must confront the truth of what happened in order to heal.
The book, like any worthwhile therapeutic process, is not designed as a quick fix. It details a thoughtful, honest process that ultimately leads to healing. It is realistic about the time such a journey can take, the grief involved and the up and down nature of the process. As a survivor, Sam is brutally honest about the toll sexual abuse has taken—its impact on his relationship with his girlfriend, his trust of others, his belief in himself. It is uplifting to see Sam’s evolution as he slowly crafts a new and healthy life. At the same time, it is clear that the entire family is affected when one its own is wounded. The idea of “family” is tested and both the author and victim ultimately redefine what constitutes “family” as they move forward.
The book's personal accounts are threaded with the therapist’s point of view on numerous issues that come up during the recovery process. That voice is extremely helpful in sorting out various strategies for healing—not every step is appropriate for every victim. For example, some need to tell a lot of people their story, while others are simply not served by that much self-disclosure. The individual therapist helps victims navigate the strategies that work best for their situation.
Our society needs to stop looking the other way when it comes to dealing with the ugly truth of sexual abuse. Too many children are wounded and exploited, even blamed, while their pedophiles walk nonchalantly down Main Street. It is a bizarre world where victims are made to feel like they are the dirty ones, the ones who’ve done something wrong. I applaud Karen Fennell and her son for breaking the obscene societal rules that encourage us to keep sexual abuse a secret. It’s a dirty secret and it needs more telling.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews