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Saving Barrette

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Barrette Blake has virtually no memory of the night her world changed forever. With the unwavering support of her best friend, she tries to piece together her life and her foggy memories of that night. She’s focused and resilient, but on the inside, she’s losing hope she’ll ever be whole again. Asa Lawson has it all together―on the field that is. He dominates the college-football scene, but his life is messy. He’s in love with the girl who can’t love herself after everything that’s happened to her. While everything around him is spiraling out of control and threatens to come crashing down completely, the truth about the night that destroyed his childhood friend is revealed. She’s hiding from the night she doesn’t remember, and he’s going to show her she’s worth the risk.

Audio CD

Published February 25, 2020

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About the author

Shey Stahl

63 books2,199 followers
USA Today Bestselling Author, Shey Stahl is a lover of sunsets, dirt track racing, collecting antiques, and the south, where her soul wants to be. Writing is her passion, giving words meaning, and readers experiences they’ll never forget. Currently she’s living in the pacific northwest with her husband and daughter, she can usually be found near a dirt track with an iced coffee in hand.

Visit her website for additional information and keep up to date on new releases: www.sheystahl.com

You can also find her on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/sheystahlauthor

Follow on Instagram: http://bit.ly/2Bdh0t4

Facebook Group: http://bit.ly/2rfQ0cI

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 176 reviews
Profile Image for Drey.
167 reviews1,069 followers
December 28, 2020
4.25 Stars!

... just beautiful ♡

Speaking of hero, Asa Lawson is one of my favourite this year. I'm not joking, he is the perfect kind of guy girls would probably fall in love with.

Note: This is a new adult, sports romance.

“Why’d you stay with me through all this? I mean, I know you love me and all that, but I gave you nothing in return.”

“Honey, love is supposed to be selfless, not selfish.”


It started on a sunny day in Boston Harbor, Washington. Asa and Barrette's friendship bloomed at the early age of 9 but halted when Asa left Washington when they were 14 years old. 4 years later, Asa went back for college and B. He wanted to fix their relationship but it was too late. Something horrifying happened to Barrette that changed their lives forever.

Asa vowed to never leave Barrette again. Even in her darkest times. Every step of the way, he supported, loved, and cherished her. He saved Barette. Not only did he saved her from what happened to her but he also helped her recover from depression and grief. He never surrendered.

"I can’t be there with you, but I’m with you, always. I go where you go."


This book is emotional and heartbreaking, but that was a given. In the first place, I read it because it's emotional. I just never expected a kind of love I found in this book, it was envying. I sometimes wondered if there's a love like that, it felt unreal. Some would view there love as common, overdramatic, or sentimental. That's not true! If only every couple in this world were like Asa and Barrette, I think there will never be infidelity or divorce at all.




I didn't like the remaining 5 chapters a bit because it went downhill too fast. Those chapters and the epilogue were a total HEA. Plus, I really wanted to witness how they handle the court trials, every scenes. But, it was brief and narrated. Still and all, I really have a good time!

Overall, I loved and enjoyed this book. Definitely heavy yet beautiful book of love and acceptance. A very inspirational story about the unfairness of justice system that failed women all over the world.

"We are proof that out of terrible circumstances, something beautiful can grow."


Trigger Warning: Vivid depiction of sexual assault.



Profile Image for M.
726 reviews310 followers
March 12, 2021
4.5 stars!!

I can't believe that this was the only book I've read by Shey Stahl. Huh.. for sure won't be my last!

Wow, this book caught me off guard. I knew it was going to tug on my heart strings. What I didn't know was just how much it would consume me. It drew me in from page one. This book touches on a very sensitive topic and it's not an afterthought. It is constant and in your face, but with the compassion one needs to read it. I think the author did a really good job with it.

Asa and Barrette were the best of friends. At age 14 he needed to move away to help his mother who was sick. He did what any teenage boy would do of course and thought it would be best to not contact her while he was away. So their friendship faded out. She questioned what she did wrong because she thought she was his.

𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

She was with him even when she didn't know... He never stopped thinking about, needing her.

4 years later he is back in the town he grew up in. They both have changed, but their pull for one another never faded. Time couldn't change that. Could anything?
They see each other at a party. The silent pull to each other is back, but they try to fight it. They speak for a split second and then carry on with other people. Later that night something happens that will change both of their lives... fovever.

What Barrette went through was brutal and the aftermath was just as bad. She had to find a new normal for herself. She got to some really dark places, but she was always brought back to the living, to the light that Asa gave her. It was tough, so excruciating. My heart broke for her.

We need to take a moment and talk about just how wonderful 𝑨𝒔𝒂 𝑳𝒂𝒘𝒔𝒐𝒏 is. He was damn near perfect in my book. We all need one in our lives. That one person who loves us more than we could ever fathom, someone to pick up all our broken (and sometimes dirty) pieces and in the most perfect timing, shape them to fit just so and glue them back together. Gah, like... just perfect.
She would try to push him away, but he only let her have space to breathe. He never let her go. He just couldn't. She was his. His heart belonged to her.

𝗜 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗲’𝘀 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜’𝗺 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲.

There is so much I want to say about this book, but I don't want to take away from all the feelings you'll get while reading it. Cause you need to read it!!
It's a heavy read, but it's full of hope, of love, of sacrifice, of trust, of healing, of true love that will rise up and burst into the most beautiful night you've ever seen.
Ahhh this book... it is gonna stay in my heart for a very long time.

“𝗛𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆, 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳𝗶𝘀𝗵.”
Profile Image for Dora Koutsoukou .
2,256 reviews720 followers
June 17, 2020
3,5 💔❤️❤️🌟s

This story was not a lighthearted one! It was raw, emotional and dealt with the very sensitive topic of rape.

Asa and Barrette had a tough journey, struggling, hoping, healing.
I liked Asa’s character. He never left Barrette, he was always beside her and protecting her. Their bond was amazing and heartwarming and they had a beautiful connection.

There were a few moments of story-dragging whilst some parts needed more development. I would have liked to know about their relationship before Asa left at the age of 14 or how they managed to afford all the expenses when they moved in together whereas none of them was working.
Overall, it was a tough but beautiful read.
Profile Image for ApoorvaReads.
637 reviews427 followers
February 19, 2021
2.75 stars ⭐️

I wanted to love this book, i really did but damn I couldn’t for the sake of my life.

I’m clearly in the minority here. This book had a lot of potential, im not gonna lie. The topic which it revolves around is very real but the writing ummm where do i even start? The narration change ( turning to the reader and asking “did you notice that”) was so so disturbing and made me want to DNF the book so bad but still i went on cause I don’t like leaving the book hanging. The characters were so flat and there were so many issues that I just wanted to jump in the book, make them sit and go on and on about the POWER A CONVERSATION HOLDS. There were comments about how Asa could you know, switch his emotions off but we see him get into fights and lose his temper so easily which made me go like “???”.
The book was so so rushed and it felt like the author was in a hurry to end this up? The lack of parent support or involvement was so off? The jumping of timelines was so annoying, i swear to god ugh.
I just wish the story was written in another way because I could see myself liking the book(plot) if it weren’t for the writing style.
Profile Image for Snow.
2,323 reviews728 followers
September 25, 2020
This was a gripping story and it's my overall opinion...

it deals with a heavy subject of sexual assault and it also shows all the steps in the process of never-ending healing...cause it never stops but you do get stronger, physically sooner and then gradualy and eventually emotionally and psychologically...you do find the wholeness again while you piece your broken parts together...

that process and bond of compassion and love is shown between these two characters - Barrette and Asa...and that was beautiful and encouraging and palpable

BUT

there were parts in the story that, for me were left unsaid, or undeveloped enough and it left unnecessary gaps and holes in such an overwhelming story...and that's too bad

maybe you won't mind it, so I won't mention those parts, but for me, it underminded the completion and the compactness of the plot and the whole impression.
Profile Image for Vfc.
1,543 reviews
January 16, 2021
Barrett became interested in psychology after being drugged, sexually assaulted and left for dead. She is resolute in wanting to understand the reason she remembers certain facets yet unable to recall other aspects of that traumatic night. Dissociative Amnesia.

She remembers attending the party on the beach, the fire, Asa, but everything else draws a blank. She awoke in the hospital with Asa beside her. Throughout their journey he never fails her but wishes she would report the crime. He wants justice served.

She recognises there’s more to that night, revisiting events in her dreams.

There’s no demographic for rape, it’s not gender or size-specific. The majority of victims are primarily female. Many crimes remain unreported since victims rarely get their day in court.

Rape doesn’t happen to the prettiest or someone wearing suggestive clothing, it happens because of weakness. It isn’t an illness rather a circumstance.
Asa wants justice for Barrette and the longer her crime goes unreported the greater the chance for repeat offences. She battles being a statistic.

The culprit in this story was beyond reprehensible...and predictable. When the crime is reported...and goes to trial, justice is NOT served and the accountability, let’s say the scales of justice remained unbalanced.

This was a story of personal growth after an attack, when justice isn’t served and overcoming egregious circumstances is left unresolved.
Profile Image for Jenny Lovez Bookz.
664 reviews151 followers
January 5, 2021
4.5 stars! Can we please take a moment to appreciate how perfect Asa Lawson is!!! He has to be the sweetest guy I have ever read about!😍😍😍

This was such a beautiful and raw story. This deals with the sensitive topic of sexual assault and though I've read stories with this topic before, there was something so different about this book. The way it was written, I literally felt every single emotion the author was trying to convey. My heart broke for both Asa and Barrette and I felt like I was going thru everything right there with them.

My only issue was I felt the book should've ended at about the 80% mark. The last 20% seemed more like bonus chapters, but nonetheless still enjoyed their HEA
Profile Image for Heather andrews.
9,520 reviews162 followers
October 2, 2019
Asa is just a tad bit protective, “you even effing mention her name again and I will break your godda*n jaw. Ya feel me?” Sometimes a man just needs to slow his woman down, "...I sigh and pick through the last of Barrette’s Sour Patch Kids. “But I’m starving and you’ve worn me out.” It's good to see Asa try to have some self control, “it wouldn’t be easy, and I’d probably sleep on the floor in your room every night, but I’d do it for you.” I liked this book, the first chapter was kinda rough but was needed to set the story and I loved Asa the man was big hearted.
Profile Image for Sienasummerrreads.
619 reviews348 followers
August 30, 2023
“I don’t know if I’m enough, but I’m here and I’m not letting go. Not ever”

Really enjoyed this audiobook! Another one I picked up on a whim and it was an emotional rollercoaster. I highly recommend going into Blind but please beware of dark themes and content in this book.

Without saying too much this is about a woman who goes through a traumatic situation with an amazing soul mate who helps her through processing and taking things slow. Asa and Barrette processing what happened together and their connection was beautiful. I wish there was stronger justice to what happened but it’s not always the way with the legal system. I felt angry and sad for these characters but the shock of finding out some twists in the plot. This was a great listen and will look into more of Shey’s work!

If you love:

🔹Emotional Books
🔹Finding Yourself Again
🔹College
🔹Angsty
🔹Soulmates
🔹Intimate Spice

Genre/Type: Angsty College Romance 18+
APK: Audiobook Scribd
Audio Length: 9hrs 30mins
Buddy Read: Shanellemareereads
Narrators: Maddison George & Teddy Hamilton
Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
Spice: 🌶️.5
Series or Stand Alone: Stand Alone
Tropes or Themes: Second Chance, College, Sport (Football) Touch Her And Die, Soul Mates, Psychology, Angsty, Violence, Trauma, Virgin, Reverse Virgin, Parties, R, Therapy, Support Group, Jealousy, Taken Care Of, Court Case, Pregnancy, Washington, Seattle, America. Mentions: Panic Attacks, Nightmares, Drugs & Death
Check Triggers ⚠️ 💫

All Round Romance Reader 
Sienasummerrreads 💕📚
TikTok | Instagram | Goodreads | StoryGraph | Scribd | Amazon | Audible Reviews 💫
Profile Image for Cheryl O'Harney.
1,276 reviews21 followers
October 4, 2019
I am in awe of Shey Stahl right now, with every word she’s wrote in this story she’s worked her way deeper and deeper into my heart.

Raw, gripping and extremely emotional, it’s amazing how something so horrific can evoke such terrible thoughts and feelings yet be beautiful when showing us the true meaning and strength of friendship and love.

Barrette and Asa were both strong young characters who experienced such a horrific event, both in different ways, they came through it in the end stronger together with a wonderful future ahead of them.

Shey Stahl tackled the subject of rape with dignity and respect, showing just how hard and difficult it can be to live in the aftermath of such horror, for not only the victim but those around them too, then showing us how there’s life after rape. Victim’s not quite the right word, 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑽𝑰𝑽𝑶𝑹 is, Barrette’s a survivor just like the many other women and men there are out there who’ve been affected by such a heinous crime.

Five stars don’t even come close to what this amazing book deserves, but unfortunately it’s all I can give, don’t miss out on this fabulously written captivating book, get one-clicking now.

𝓐𝓡𝓒 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪𝓷 𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓮𝔀.
Profile Image for Dark Side of the Book.
528 reviews26 followers
October 4, 2019
SAVING BARRETTE

Shey Stahl accustomed us to the fact, that in her books she talks about difficult subjects.
When I saw the title of 'Saving Barrette' the first time, I knew that this book will be painful and hard.
I didn't read the blurb, like always, so when this book appeared on my Kindle, I opened it and started reading.
And... WOAH. This time the main theme is so really tough.

Barrette and her friends had a party. This girl is a wet dream of all boys in the city, but she is keeping her virginity to this one and only guy – Asa Lawson. The party is on and everybody are a little drunk, so no one notices that Barrette is missing.
And she was raped.

Asa wanted talk with her, because they have a common past, but he couldn't find Barrette. Then he saw her on the ground, half naked and utterly druged. He helped her and she woke up at hospital, where doctors were asking her about the accident and about DNA test to have a medical raport about rape. Her first word is 'no', but with Asa's little help finally she agreed to exam.

Day in a day out,they'd get to know each other and shared secrets.
But do Barrette and Asa will be together?
And will justice be enough and the rapists go to jail?

I am in deep shock.
When I finished 'Saving Barrette' first what I done was wrote a message to Shey and with havoc in my head write about this book some words.
Now, I must write a full review, but still – I don't know what to write.

This book is full of emotions!
While reading I was thinking that I will throw out my Kindle from the window with words „get the fuck away from me!”. This story is so hard, so intense and so paintful. But 'Saving Barrette' has a happy moments with sex scenes and a little laugh.

Barrette is like a normal girl. Shey Stahl gave her behavior before and after the rape in an incredibly precise manner. We can read about carefree young girl and sad, ruined women.
I totally like her and now, when I ended this book, I still feel her pain.

Asa is a guy, who everyone want to have. He is a good boy with ambitions. When he saw Barrette on the ground, naked, he knews that she needs him much more than only in the way to the hospital. He sacrificed for her more that she thinks.

'Saving Barrette' is raw, heartbreaking book. This story will stay in my heart more than the others. The rape subject, which Shey Stahl choose is very hard to write, but the author handled it perfectly well.
It was a pleasure to read this book, but it was a different pleasure. I can't even describe what kind of pleasure it is. You must read this book and feel this story by yourself.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Hayley.
217 reviews7 followers
August 16, 2020
Wowsers, so this is not an easy read, it's really emotional. Warning: it deals with sexual assault, but it doesn't just deal with sexual assault the whole book is evolved around it. So if that is a trigger for you, please do not read this book.

The two leading characters, wow, they seriously go through so much mentally and emotionally that at one point, I was routing for them but also wanted them just to be happy and I started to wonder, could they actually be happy together.

I had totally glossed over one aspect of the book and when I found out later on in the book I had to go back and read that scene again, as I never even thought.

I cried a couple of times during this book, I even cried with something to do with a villain in this book, don't ask me why, there must be something really wrong with me to cry for that particular character.

This is a heartbreaking love story, but with heart warning aspects, it's not going to make you all giggly, like other romance novels, but that doesn't meant it's not worth a read, just remember your tissues!
Profile Image for Megan Mary.
1,121 reviews15 followers
October 5, 2019
You know when you read something that your completely 100% unprepared for... you quickly realize that it's going to be a game changer && you quite possibly won't ever recover after you finish? Well...this is where I'm at and Saving Barrette is this book.

"I look out the window. No stars, only darkness. And though I know I can't sleep, tonight I allow myself to dream without fear of a time when I'm no longer a shadow of my past"

This book handles the very serious subject of rape (with that subject comes some triggers for sure) BUT it's so much more than that! .... Full of survival, friendship, an unbreakable connection, grief, taking chances & life after tragedy; Asa & Barrette's story will get you right in all the feels as you go on this incredible journey with them. 💛 I cannot say enough how truly extraordinary Saving Barrette is; it's definitely not a book that I'll recover from anytime soon.
Profile Image for Lesley Peck.
Author 8 books26 followers
October 3, 2019
This book was gripping, raw, and so very emotional. The words jumped off the page and I felt everything. Especially the first chapter. Barrette experiences something horrific and can't remember most any of it. Asa was there to find her and help her pick up the pieces. The two of them together is beautiful and heartbreaking to watch. Asa is extremely protective and is constantly questioning himself. Barrette just wants to be normal. Reading their story will give you all the feels and make you want to be there to help them both. You'll love Joey and Terrell. Laughter and tears. A perfect Shey Stahl book.
2 reviews1 follower
February 23, 2020
Maybe it's me, but this book had more tell than show. I never understood why H gave so much to the h. He kept saying she meant so much to him at age 14 but I didnt see it. The relationship seemed really one sided. For example, when he first sees her she asks something along the lines of what happened (knowing his mom just died) he says my mon just died. The h then says oh because of her? She doesnt even offer him any sympathy until 60% into the book.

I think Dear Ava was a better read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Alexandraa XX.
703 reviews787 followers
March 1, 2020
OMG.... what a great book to read on a sunday :)

I LOVE THIS BOOK... its about a couple who never gave up on each other and fights for their love. They never go to someone else for comfort because both are very loyal and only want each other... WOW!


This author just became one of my favorite ones! I can’t wait to read more books from this author 😍😍



- THE HERO IS A FOOTBALL player on college


- IT TRIGGERS sexual assaulted/R*pe


- SECOND CHANCE ROMANCE 😉

IT HAPPENED AT FIRST! NOT IN THE MIDDLE OR THE END OF THE BOOK! :)


- THE HERO have to move out from town because of his mom health and came back again and meet the heroine again. They were kinda in a relationship but he left and she was hurt pretty bad about it....


- THE HERO IS OTT POSSESSIVE ALPHA MALE omg


- THE HERO AND HEROINE KNOWN EACH OTHER AND BEEN CLOSED SINCE THEY WERE KIDS...
LOVE IN FIRST SIGHT !


- AFTER THE HERO MEET THE HEROINE AGAIN, HE NEVER LET HER GO AND PURSUE HER....


- THE HERO IS A VIRGIN
Even after the accident from the heroine, heroine and hero go to college together and some time they never been sexually active. The hero was okay and very understanding to the heroine... THE HERO ALWAYS PUSH THE GIRLS WHO TRIES TO GRAB HIM OR TALKED TO HIM!



- THE HEROINE WAS A VIRGIN AT FIRST WHEN THEY MEET AGAIN but when she was sexually assault so she wasn’t. BUT THE HERO NEVER MADE A ISSUE ABOUT THAT EVEEERRR....


- NO CHEATING


- IT HAS SEPARATION AT FIRST OF THE STORY BUT AFTER THAT NEVEEERR... and also during this separation the heroine only kissed one guy and just that. THE HERO NEVER EVER WITH Someone else... both have been celibate as well...


- HOT SMUT SCENES


- SAFE LOVE STORY
*they were in college*


- MANY JEALOUS SCENE from the hero!


- IT HAS DRAMA WITH OM... IT HAS DRAMA WITH OW BUT NOT TOO ANNOYING and not too much... DRAMA WITH THE OM is annoying too because eventually she finds out what the om really did and he made some drama but NOT TOO MUCH AND NOT TOO ANNOYING...


- THE HERO NEVER PUSH THE HEROINE AWAY....

THE HEROINE sometimes push the hero away because of what she’s been through but never too much and never too annoying... I LIKED THAT SO MUCH! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO WAIT FOR A WHILE FOR HER TO DO THAT but nooo... In the middle she finally made her move on the hero and tells him what she really feels ~ SOMETIMES WHEN THE HEROINE tries to push the hero away, he always said something sweet and she agrees with him :)


- HAPPY ENDING! FEW YEARS LATER AND THEY HAVE CUTE KIDS TOGETHER AND THE KID IS SOOOOO CUTE AND ADORABLE omg....
Profile Image for Andrea.
178 reviews20 followers
October 9, 2019
Kudos to Ms. Stahl on an incredibly emotional heartfelt story about the power and resilience of friendship and love in the aftermath of life-shattering trauma. For personal reasons, this book was difficult to read at times so please heed the warning if you might be triggered by the events surrounding sexual assault. While this is a story that takes on a difficult subject, it is ultimately a story of love— loving someone through their darkest days like Asa does for Barrette and finding a way back to loving oneself as Barrette does following the assault. Coming from a survivor (oh, how I despise that title) standpoint, I so appreciate that Ms. Stahl didn’t make light of or romanticize events surrounding sexual assault and its aftermath. Along with this powerful story of love and perseverance is a reminder that even in the rare event that justice is served, the ripple effect set off when an assault is perpetrated has no boundaries and often no end. Even with the heavy subject matter, I’m adding this book to one of my top favorites of 2019.
Profile Image for lindsey.
11 reviews
October 7, 2019
I feel like I went into this book totally unprepared for how much it was going to rock my world. Shey has always been on of my favorite authors, and this book definitely put her above all others. Ace and Barrrette went through so much and thankfully still came out on top. There are no adequate words to describe this other than everyone NEEDS to read this and fall inlove with it like I did. 5+ star read.
Profile Image for Chloe Mynott.
12 reviews1 follower
October 5, 2019
Shey has out done herself once again,
Just the title says it all
However once you dive into the very first chapter and experience they way Shey depicts the story of a young girl who was brutally attacked and the meaning of true friendship between Barrette and Asa and everything they both had to endure, was incredibly raw an emotional.
I honestly don’t know how she does it..
16 reviews
October 9, 2019
OMG, OMG!!!! I LOVE, LOVE LOVED IT! I love how Shey writes about real things that others are afraid to even mention. Shey portrays life in its truest form and does it so very well. Shey has a very unique way of writing and does not sugar coat life. You truly feel what the characters are going threw.
Profile Image for Ghada.
171 reviews13 followers
June 18, 2025
_Tropes_
Virgin H and h, Never been kissed (H), Trauma healing, It's always been you, Angsty, Touch her and you ☠️, Sport romance, College romance, Second chance

_TW_
Gang bang Rape (on page ch4)
Drug abuse, Neglect of parents, fat shaming

_Quotes_
"It’s nobody’s business that I’m in love with a girl who just might be incapable of loving me. I know that, but still, I stay.
I stay because she’s fucking worth it, and I’m going to make her see it even if it takes me a lifetime."

I don't like college romance very much because i am becoming old and grumpy for it but this book doesn't feel like a coming of age story because of what we are going through with Barrette our heroine.
I really liked how the author handled this sensitive topic. I also like that the focus was the healing from this trauma and it's not dependent on getting justice because sometimes in our bad reality the rapists go away with their doings so easily maybe that's why the author didn't show the trials fully because it's not the point. The point is that barrette had healed and take the control again in her hands and report the incident.

Last thing can we appreciate Asa Lawson please, he is the sweetest hero i ever read about, i loved his love to barrette and how he Always stay with her through her nightmares and like he said to her he will go where she goes 😭 😭
There is also a sweetest secondary couple here i loved them together and their friendship with our main couple.
Profile Image for Big Joe  Rossi.
1,776 reviews49 followers
November 15, 2020
This is a book about recovery, about standing by those you love, about LOVE.

One night changed everything now Barrette struggles to live, to laugh, to love. Asa found her that night and has stood by her and loved her but she can't love him back, she has trouble loving herself. The lack of memories holding her hostage in her own mind and body.

This is a well written book about the aftermath of a heinous act and the recovery of the victim and the conviction of the boy who loved her and wouldn't abandon her. We see the struggles and pain that Barrette lives in and the pain and struggles that it causes Asa. He willingly accepts it, she doesn't mean it, but he will stand by her.

This isn't a lovey-dovey romance but yet it is, it just has a darkness before the little. A story of a phoenix rising from the fire that consumed her and the man who stood by her with his love.
Profile Image for Nance.
1,603 reviews115 followers
November 1, 2019
Read it all in one day. It was that heart-stopping. Heartbreaking. But Barrette and Asa’s relationship is loving and passionate. What happened to Barrette was painful and sad. But, Asa was definitely the hero. They both had great friends that supported them. I totally loved this story, and got a most uplifting vibe at the end. Onto my next challenge...
Profile Image for Xanthi patera.
283 reviews24 followers
October 13, 2019
"I look out the window. No stars, only darkness. And though I know I can't sleep, tonight I allow myself to dream without fear of a time when I'm no longer a shadow of my past"
Profile Image for Shanna Ferris.
610 reviews55 followers
September 1, 2023
"You are the light my soul walks towards... you are the dawn I remember."

This book was so much more than I was expecting. Emotional. Heartbreaking.

This was my first Shey Stahl book, and I absolutely loved her writing style. And the way she interacts with the reader. She writes in a way that the narrator is addressing the reader at times. And it was so perfect! Her character building was amazing. The feelings I felt during this book were unreal. You know how you read an emotional book, and you just follow along, and you're heartbroken for them because of what they're going through, but its only because you're reading it? This book is more, so much more. You FEEL it through the characters. Not just through the story. Not just through their inner dialogue but also their interactions and conversations with one another. It was perfect!!

"I go where you go"

Asa was INCREDIBLE! I loved him so much. And his love for Barrette was undeniable, beautiful, heartbreaking, it was PURE! PURE devotion. You never doubt for a second what he feels for her. And THE MASON JARS!!! 😭

Barrette, this poor girl! 😢 I honestly don't even know what to say without spoilers. But just know her story is rough! The way Shey did such a good job of expressing Barrette's inner battles was everything! 🤌

"We are proof that out of terrible circumstances, something beautiful can grow."


•Overall: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
•Plot:⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
•Dark: 🪦🪦
•Spice:🌶
•Relationship pace: Fast pace
•Ending: HEA

•Tropes: Friends to lovers, sports romance, collage age

•TW: explicit SA discussed, SA trauma, abandonment, crap parents, loss of a parent, manipulation (not between MCs)
77 reviews2 followers
January 12, 2021
Love is suppose to be selfless, not selfish -ASA
This quote just reminds me of how every one who wants to be in love always undermines the hardships and pain they must endure when their other half is going through a rough period. You have to be prepared to love them even when they become broken due to life circumstances and to me that’s what “true love” is.
Side note: just going to go cry and pretend I have someone like ASA in my life rn 🥺
Profile Image for Robin.
18 reviews5 followers
October 10, 2019
Asa "Four days ago I was packing up my life in Ohio, unaware of what the next twenty-four hours would bring, but never did I think this would happen. Ten days ago, I was holding my mother as she took her last breath, and now her I am, holding the girl who's forever owned my heart, and praying she makes it through this. I don't know if I'm enough, but I'm here and I'm not letting go Not ever"
Asa the football player with a heart of gold trying to save Barrette his damaged girl. This was a beautiful and breathtaking story that will hold you hostage until you hit the last page.
Shey Stahl always makes you see the real! The truth in a mans words when he loves deeply. I read this book in 3 hours. I cried when I put myself in Asa's head and heart for the love he has for Barrette, the girl he desperately wants to bring back to life.
This book was deep. Makes you see more than just a victim and a broken girl. This book will open your eyes to a subject that you don't want to read about and I swear I could literally see certain scenes play out in my head and wept for her.
Asa the strong and loving boy that has to become a man for Barrette, the beautiful but damaged girl who want's to push Asa away because she feels damaged & her self worth is laying in the woods where she was rescued. Can she let go and let him love her? Find her self worth?
Shey's words grab your heart and make your soul hurt for others that experience what Barrette experienced as well. I am emotionally drained after going from such tragic events to overcoming with grace and love Asa and Barrett have for one another.
"I look out the window. No stars, only darkness. And though I know I can't sleep, tonight I allow myself to dream without fear of a time when I'm no longer a shadow of my past. I'm borderline obsessed with the addiction of him" Dear God how can you not love this story? Kudos Shey and may the stories you tell stay "real" and keep us waiting for more! 5 stars every day!!!
870 reviews
March 3, 2020
Right. I had so many issues with this book. First being the fact that there were no author's note or any disclosure, that the book would start with a semi-graphic rape scene. From there on it just went downhill, fast.

So I've no personal experience, but I think I'm starting to grow out of all these "saving" or "rescuing" or "bringing back to life" books, where the character with these deep hurts only is saved because of someone else's actions. Having support during hard times is important, it's a huge help, but no one can do the work for you. And implying that someone can, is just... well, it doesn't really help anyone who has to do the work.

Interestingly, Barrette did work on herself and her life. She went to support group, formed new friendships, struggled with sleeping, leaned on Asa and her friends from the support group. And yeah yeah, it's fiction and all that, but I'd like to think that it's still important to not feed the wrong kinds of methods of survival or to not portray abusive relationships as romantic.
Because let's face it, Asa's behaviour was far from romantic. This whole "I was the one she chose to have sex with after being raped, so I'm the only one, and I will fuck up anyone who goes near her now" attitude he had.... no thank you.

I think the topic of this book is important, but the execution didn't quite meet my expectations. There were some bits that felt realistic and there were some messages that were important. But the whole romantic relationship aspect of this book was by no means healthy. And had I not known about the reason's for Barrette's darkness before I started to read, I might have skipped this book altogether. Especially because of the name of this book.
Profile Image for Thuy Taylor.
1,402 reviews19 followers
October 7, 2019
This book!!!

Shey gives us this gripping, raw, tough storyline. Fighting for the ones we love, fighting for their happiness, their worth, their life.

Barrette and Asa were in each others lives until they weren't. Life brings him back to the girl he's always thought about everyday. But also that day, she has a traumatic incident that will change her whole world. So heartbreaking, so anger fueling, this book makes you feel it all. These two absolutely love each other but also as she falls deeper into herself, he can't let go. I love them, they are so heartbreaking, so beautiful, so loyal, so everything to each other. I could not put this down. So much anger and hurt for Barrette and Asa. It makes you really think about real life victims and the people around them. I loved their story, there is an HEA, just make sure to have some tissues ready!!! Well done, Shey!
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