An uplifting journey of truly seeing and appreciating what makes life worth living in the year following a terminal diagnosis
For fans of Ann Patchett’s These Precious Days and Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking
Goodbye to Clocks Ticking is an unforgettable book that tells the story of a singular year of challenges, insights, and peculiar gifts. It is also a sort of postcard from a place many of us will one day visit.
After thirty-two years of teaching, Joe Monninger, an avid outdoorsman in robust health, was looking forward to a long retirement with the love of his life in a cabin beside a New England estuary. Three days after his last class, however, he’s diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, even though he has not smoked for more than 30 years. It was May, and he might be dead by early fall.
Soon Joe learned, however, that he was a genetic match for treatment with a drug that could not cure his cancer, but could prolong his life. With this temporary reprieve, he sets out to live life to the fullest and to write about the year of grace that follows, from his cancer treatments to his innermost thoughts.
Goodbye to Clocks Ticking is a work of wisdom and insight. Joe Monninger’s aubade to the world that he knew and loved offers a page-turning, suspenseful story to relish and to celebrate, to share and to discuss, to ponder and to learn from.
"Full of heart and discovery." – Booklist , on Joseph Monninger's writing
This is a beautifully and fluently written account of writer and educator Joseph Monninger’s first seven months as a Stage IV lung cancer patient. He’d only just ended his teaching career at a college in New Hampshire and was away at his cabin in Maine, a spectacular setting in which he’d hoped to enjoy his retirement with his partner, when the phone call came about a very large tumour in his left lung. (He’d been experiencing considerable breathlessness and a CT scan had recently been performed.) Immediate action was necessary, and he was quickly linked up with a pulmonologist and an oncologist. His was a dire diagnosis, but a blood test revealed that Monninger had a rare mutation, usually found in Asian men (not those of Irish-American ancestry). Patients with this mutation often responded to a drug that offered the promise of extended life. The medication had a list of side effects a yard long, but Monninger was spared the worst of these and afforded extra time.
In the first part of the memoir, the author focuses on his shock, as well as on his meetings with medical specialists. Early on he underwent a procedure to drain his pleural effusion, a buildup of fluid between the layers of tissue that line the lungs and chest cavity. The pulmonologist initially drew two litres of fluid from the chest. After a catheter was surgically placed, Monninger, his partner, Susan, and his son would subsequently be responsible for draining the fluid at home. This was done on alternate days.
Monninger had been a fit, outdoorsy guy. Now, sweeping the porch or walking a short distance winded him. He was also susceptible to infection. All of this in the time of Covid. Adjustments had to be made, but as he continued to live, exceeding his own expectations, Monninger recognized that he had perhaps resigned himself too readily to his condition; he began to make plans for small projects and a trip to Nebraska to watch the magnificent spring migration of the sandhill cranes along the Platte River—a transcendent experience for him and Susan that confirmed the wonder and beauty of life that humans are but a small part of.
While Monninger’s memoir touches on some practicalities a person with a terminal illness must deal with—health insurance and the settling of one’s will, for example—it mostly concerns matters of meaning. The author’s love of the natural world, literature, and fly fishing figure prominently.
The book’s apt title comes from a line in Thornton Wilder’s Play, Our Town, a play famous for its consideration of what makes life valuable.
Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC.
Joe Monninger and I were colleagues in the English Department of New Hampshire’s Plymouth State University for over twenty years. For much of that time we had offices facing each other across the hall in the old house that was home to the English Department, and we had the same office hours, so we spent a lot of time kibitzing about books, teaching, and our lives in general. I knew Joe as a man of parts: professor, author of numerous fiction and non-fiction books and articles in many fields, and avid reader and outdoorsman. I came to admire him greatly, but we lost touch when I retired and moved to Costa Rica in 2012. I only learned of his stage-four lung cancer diagnosis a week or two ago, when I received an email from a New Hampshire book store advertising a reading and signing of a new memoir that he would be doing there. I ordered an ebook version so that I could read it as soon as it became available.
Goodbye to Clocks Ticking is a lovely book about a terrible health crisis in the life of a vital and many-sided man. It is written in an easy, colloquial style but, as one might expect from an English professor, it contains quotations and references to a wide range of writers, from 20th century authors like Thornton Wilder and Frederick Exley to ancient sages like Marcus Aurelius and Pliny. Joe’s love and appreciation for his partner, Susan, and his adult son, Justin, shines through every page as does his appreciation for his doctors and the other health professionals who found drugs to prolong his life from months to an unknowable number of years. His decision, aided by Susan, Justin and his doctors, to not give into despair and to make the most of his time on earth despite his illness, is arrived at over the course of a year’s time as his illness goes into remission due to an anti-cancer drug called Tagrisso. He has no way of knowing how long Tagrisso will be effective, but he promises himself that he will resume his old life and his many plans for a long and happy retirement for as long as he is physically able.
I was informed and inspired by Goodbye to Clocks Ticking. It will be most valuable perhaps to readers who face serious disease, but even younger readers will benefit by making a literary acquaintance with a man who has always been ready for whatever life throws at him, and like Ulysses in the Tennyson poem, is “strong in will [T]o strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
"I'm dying." -- As first sentences go, that one is a standout. The author writes about the diagnosis of terminal cancer that he received a mere three days after his retirement from his 32-year stint as a college English professor and the impact it made on how he chose to live going forward. He reflects on the meaning of life and the things that give life its meaning. He shares choices made and the striving for normalcy in his drastically changed circumstances. He wisely ends his book on a deeply moving note: his pilgrimage with partner Susan to view the migration of sandhill cranes in Nebraska. -- The author has a graceful way with words and peppers literary allusions and quotations here and there, as he deems appropriate/relevant. -- Recommended. [Spoiler/footnote: This book was published in 2023; the author died on New Year's Day, 2025.]
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
I haven't read any of Joseph Monninger's novels or essays but I liked this short memoir of a difficult year in his life. Three days after he retired from 30-some years of teaching, at age 68, Monninger was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. From preparing to live just a few more months to a dawning understanding that an amazing drug will give him more time, Monninger shares his journey - both mental and physical. He writes movingly of his experiences in nature both by himself and with people he loves. He's not religious, or maudlin, but tender and appreciative of the big and small joys of living.
Joe Monninger was one of my english professors at PSU in 2019 & 2020 and left a lasting impact on me as a writer, reader, and person. I was heartbroken to discover his passing and discovered this memoir shortly after hearing the news. A well written novel about the truth of death and what to do when you are facing it. Love you Joe. Thank you for always believing in me and so many other students.
A friend recommended this author’s ‘Eternal on the Water’ and I really enjoyed it. I came across an article on the author’s death and some lovely notes about his living in Down East magazine. And got this book through ILL. Thanks to my librarian for feeding my curiosity. What a thoughtful book.
My biggest criticism of the book is the flat presentations of the author’s two primary supporters through his cancer diagnosis - his girlfriend and his son. While they both stepped up to the plate and accompanied him along his journey, doing everything that one does for a loved one with an unexpected dire diagnosis, I was left knowing little of them as individuals. Outside of their occupations, they seemed to be one dimensional characters in what undoubtably was a massive change to their lives prior. I wish the author and his loved ones continued health and a long life spent the way he imagined it would be.
I have read and reread Joseph Monninger's book Eternal on the Water for so many years. I love its magical realism, its careful attention to nature's details, its voice that asserts beauty is in some way an antidote to death. When I read "My Final Days on the Maine Coast" and discovered he was dying, my heart grieved. His terminal diagnosis just days after retiring from a career as an English professor has stayed with me, and most of all, his piercing voice. https://downeast.com/features/joseph-...
I am so grateful for his willingness to let readers walk with him toward his own death. To be with him as he considers the great existential questions that I do not have answers to.
My favorite chapter was the last, when Joseph and his partner Susan arrive in Nebraska to see the migration of the cranes.
**Spoiler**
pg. 191-192 "What I had taken for old tires, and Susan for stone walls, turned out not to be a flock of cranes, but a sea of cranes, a vast calling sea, that stretched beyond our ability to understand...
They were here, after all. They were here as they had been for millions of years. They were, by many estimates, the oldest avian species left on earth. Now, once our eyes grew accustomed to what we were seeing, the cranes seemed almost unfathomable...
I can't believe what I'm seeing, I said or she said, and our voices hardly mattered. This was beyond speech or words. The enormous urge to live, the great desire to procreate, to continue, to carry on, rested in every molecule the birds inhabited. This was why we had come. This was a rendezvous as old as any on earth, and we were a part of it, a minor part, to be sure, but a witness nevertheless. Seen from above by satellite, the birds in flight formed clouds, wind made visible, and all the beauty of the earth asked to be remembered here.
...this precisely, was what cancer would take from me. The beauty that sustained me, the sunrises and sunsets, the seals blowing air in the water beyond our land in Maine, a wood thrush singing deep in the woods, a lilac, a clock ticking, all would perish when the cancer grew strong enough to defeat the drugs that protected me. I gave in to it readily, it would win eventually, but that does not mean that I would not miss this rare earth, deeply and vividly, and lament the loss of wind on my face, the awkwardly graceful leap of a crane to pair-bond with its mate."
Joseph Monninger wrote a sensitive, moving and heartfelt memoir of his life after receiving a diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer with metastasis to his liver and bones. He takes us through the emotions of shock, disbelief and then learning to live with a terminal illness. It started with shortness of breath and a removal of 2 liters of fluid. He had to have a tube inserted to drain his lung everyday. Luckily, he had a mutation that made him likely to respond to an immunotherapy which he does relatively well on for over a year. This helps stop the fluid leakage into the lungs and the tubing is eventually removed.
His love of nature and living a simple life helps him process the inevitability of his death. His supporters are his partner, Susan and his son, Justin. He still wants to meet his fishing friends in Maine's north woods for their annual expedition and he challenges himself to witness the Sandhill Cranes great migration in Nebraska along the Platte River. After I finished the book I checked where he was on line and saw that Down East magazine who interviewed him announced his passing shortly after the article on him went to press. Sadly, I read that he died on January 1, 2025. This book is helpful and inspirational for each of us who will be on this journey at one point in our lives. Highly recommend. Such a beautiful book written by a lovely man.
Nonfiction: Memoir After reading ‘Last Stand’ an essay by Joseph Monninger, in a recent Downeast Magazine, I had to read Monninger’s full account of his cancer journey. The essay was some of the finest writing I’ve witnessed in that magazine and the book was just as good. After 40 years of teaching college literature, Monninger retired. 4 days later he received the results of a scan showing that he had terminal lung cancer. Goodbye… is a spare, simple, thoughtful account of someone who has come to terms with his situation. It was hard to read and harder to put down. As someone who is on hormone therapy and just finished multiple radiation sessions for cancer, I appreciated his observations, perspective, sense of priority and honesty. While I’m not in the same boat as Mr. Monninger (my cancer is not terminal, but it’s not curable either) we are traveling across the same sea. I wish him the best.
He was my undergraduate advisor at Plymouth State in New Hampshire in the 1990s. We’d talk about fiction, great poets, and the New England landscape. He helped me take writing more seriously. As I read his memoir, I heard his voice so clearly. This was an honest and interesting account of when death shows up at your door and lays herself across your soul. He dreams and travels and tried to remain hopeful. At times, his anger and reluctance toward death is both warranted and honest. The quotes and works he shares throughout the memoir are so good and it reminded me of his insightful ramblings during his lectures. The world definitely lost a solid writer and avid outdoorsman. I really enjoyed this book.
I read an essay by Joe Monninger in Down East magazine a couple of weeks ago. It was his reflections as he wrapped up his earthly existence from his off grid cottage on the coast of Maine. The essay was exquisitely written, the reflections of his space and view beautiful, and his observations of what is around him and his terminal diagnosis intertwined with snippets from his younger days. The piece was both lyrical and haunting and I wanted to read more. So I got this book and the first several chapters were the same moving writing as the essay. Somewhere in the last third of the book, it felt like the writing got a bit repetitive and the lyrical writing kind of sputtered out. Overall though, very happy to have read it and I’d like to check out some of his fiction.
I did a double-take when one of my kids bought me this book as a Christmas present, momentarily wondering if he knew something I didn't. It took me a year to pick the book up and decide to read it and I was delighted that I did. Joseph Monninger, author and professor, is diagnosed with terminal cancer and must face the harsh reality that instead of his much anticipated retirement, he needed to undertake the battle of his life. As profound as that diagnosis was, Monninger takes the reader on a journey through matters large and small, honestly and openly, with an attitude that is nothing if not courageous, present, and immediate. It had no business being uplifting, and yet somehow...
4.5 This account of a recently retired college professor finding out he has stage 4 lung cancer which has spread to other areas is beautifully written. He finds some peace in nature which I identify with but also studies himself and his reactions to his diagnosis, treatments, and the interactions with his loved ones. I think this is an important read for anyone reaching their 40's and up. Don't put your life on pause while waiting out an illness or a stage of life.
Frank & I listened to this memoir from Monninger, who got what he thought was a terminal diagnosis three days after retiring from teaching English/writing for 30+ years. It wasn't morbid -- it was reflective on many themes of special interest to those of us in the last quarter of their lives. The Audible recording was a good one, so I'd recommend it in either format.
Thoughtful and well-written, this book chronicles a year in the life of the author… after receiving a dire cancer diagnosis three days after retirement. I appreciated the author’s authenticity and candor, and his writing style was both quite readable and relatable. A n insightful read from the vantage point of a person who grew up Catholic, yet no longer held a faith in God.
I didn’t expect to enjoy Goodbye to Clocks Ticking, but wanted to read it to increase my empathy for my growing circle of family and friends in their various stages of cancer treatment. What a pleasant surprise to find this intimate story of one man’s journey beyond a diagnosis of terminal cancer so beautifully written, thought provoking, poignant and most of all, uplifting.
A personal story told in a somewhat academic manner—not surprising since the author is a retired college professor. I scanned some pages and paid close attention to others. His love for books as friends resonated with me. I do not find any news of his passing when I Google his name and hope he is still living his life while dying.
I love Joseph Monnigers writing, but did not expect this. A very honest, and personal account of living with cancer. I read it at a time when I needed reminding that from our first breath we are all dying, but that does not mean, we should just "wait" for it. This book is a good reminder to keep looking up...if we are lucky maybe we will see the cranes.
Joe has captured a great memoir for all of us in our twilight years. He provides some terrific philosophical insights to ponder 🤔. God Speeeeeed with your cancer journey. Many found memories of one of Westfield HS QB during the great Gary Keller lagacy of WHS success on the gridiron .
The writing is beautiful. Fell in love with the book after reading Chapter 1 and the Acknowledgements. Constantly touched, I could (almost) feel what the author feels when reading the text.
I found Goodbye to Clocks Ticking interesting and an enjoyable read. But I have to confess that nothing struck me as particularly profound or deeply touching, etc. It was thought provoking to consider what a cancer diagnosis forces you to face and begin to think about what kind of impact that would have on your own life.
Perhaps because our lives and perspectives were so different, it didn’t resonate with me at a deeper level. As I so often note, I think your level of engagement and enjoyment might be highly impacted by your perspective (age, background, faith, etc.).
That said, it is a well written and thoughtful exploration of a difficult topic done with humility and honesty. Hard to complain about that.
I narrated the audio book version. Monninger writes a beautiful postcard from a stage of life that many of eventually visit. Highly recommended memoir.
I found Monninger's memoir honest and vulnerable, which was his stated goal. I especially found his search for peace and an almost spiritual moment (?) / acceptance (?) / moment (?) most interesting.