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Every Time You Go Away
Perfect for fans of Jennifer Niven, Abigail Johnson draws a searing and lyrical portrait of grief, forgiveness, and the kind of love that blooms in the aftermath.
Eight years ago , Ethan and Rebecca met, two trouble-making kids sharing secrets and first kisses in a treehouse, until Ethan's mom returned to take him away. Each and every visit, his only goodbye was a flower on Rebecca's windowsill.
Four years ago , Ethan left for the last time to take care of his mother, who's had a substance use disorder his whole life.
Two years ago, Rebecca was in a car accident that killed her father. She's been learning to navigate life as a wheelchair user ever since.
Now , they discover if their hardships have torn them apart...or will bring them closer than ever.
Eight years ago , Ethan and Rebecca met, two trouble-making kids sharing secrets and first kisses in a treehouse, until Ethan's mom returned to take him away. Each and every visit, his only goodbye was a flower on Rebecca's windowsill.
Four years ago , Ethan left for the last time to take care of his mother, who's had a substance use disorder his whole life.
Two years ago, Rebecca was in a car accident that killed her father. She's been learning to navigate life as a wheelchair user ever since.
Now , they discover if their hardships have torn them apart...or will bring them closer than ever.
1 pages, Audio CD
First published December 5, 2023
71 people are currently reading
13394 people want to read
About the author
Abigail Johnson
8 books950 followersAbigail Johnson was born in Pennsylvania. When she was twelve, her family traded in snowstorms for year-round summers and moved to Arizona. Abigail chronicled the entire cross-country road trip in a purple spiral-bound notebook that she still has, and has been writing ever since. She became a tetraplegic after breaking her neck in a car accident when she was seventeen, but hasn’t let that stop her from bodysurfing in Mexico, writing and directing a high-school production of Cinderella, and riding roller coasters every chance she gets. She is the author of several young adult novels including If I Fix You and Every Other Weekend.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 301 reviews
December 5, 2023
Every Time You Go Away was emotionally powerful and a story I won't ever forget. It was laced with joy and heartache. And was not only about finding yourself, but of forgiveness, forging your own path, and repairing the pieces inside you and the relationships around you too. It is a must read for those that love young adult.
That first chapter was set in the past, and it pulled me right in. The relationship Rebecca had with her parents as a little kid was complicated and also delicate. That summer while she was bored in her room, and her mom was working, she watched as a boy got dropped off at his grandparents’ house next door. His name was Ethan and his mom was leaving him. The first time of what would be many. Rebecca witnessed Ethan's whole world explode. And this set the tone for the book. Each moment felt so real, like I was watching a movie. From there we got to alternate between Ethan and Rebecca in the present. With a few chapters in the past, scattered here and there. And our time with Ethan and Rebecca stole the breath from my lungs.
When we jumped into the present, it had been years since Rebecca and Ethan had seen each other. And while they were hesitant at first, the core of their relationship was still there and strong. They had this unbreakable bond that was beautiful. Yet so much had changed. Ethan had grown, and seemed even more jaded. Rebecca was more withdrawn, yet she radiated this beautiful resilience and now used a wheelchair to get around. Both of their lives were so different since the last time they had seen each other years ago. So while they rekindled their friendship so easily, there were still moments were it felt like they were oceans apart from each other. And it left my heart aching.
Ethan gutted me. His mother suffered from substance abuse, and he felt as though he had to fight her battles. To protect her from abusive boyfriends and keep her from overdosing. But over the years, his mom would send him to his grandparents. So she could temporarily fix herself. And yet again he found himself at his grandparents’ house. I loved how careful they were around him. How much they wanted to help, even though Ethan wanted no part of it. Ethan was strong willed, determined, and had such a huge heart. I hoped they would help him when his world exploded again. But then there was also Rebecca. And she too was someone who was always there for him too.
Rebecca's relationship with her mom hurt. Her mom could be so cold and distant, and she always seemed to keep Rebecca at arm’s length since the accident. Well, if she was even around. The accident had killed Rebecca's father and she was now in a wheelchair learning to navigate her new world. So it pained me to hear Rebecca's thoughts about her mom. How she just wanted to have her mom show she cared about her. It cut so deep. And while Ethan was Rebecca's best friend, she also struggled with him too. He was who she confided in, had fun with, and could simply just be. Yet he proved time and again that he could be gone in the blink of an eye. When his mom came back, he left. So opening to him, since her life had changed so much, was hard. How can you let your whole soul be shown to someone who could just disappear from your life that next day?
Rebecca and Ethan both had so much on their shoulders. And they both scarified pieces of themselves, because of others. It was important for them to please others, to make their lives easier. Yet it was at the expense of themselves, and what they wanted. So I loved watching them both grow from that first page to the last. That they both needed to figure out how to fight for what they wanted in life. Because I knew that whenever that happened, I would be so proud of them! I also loved the lighter moments too. That those were filled with laughter and smiles. We got to watch how deeply they cared for one another. And while their transition from friends to more was extremely slow burn, the sexual tension between them was done so well. You could feel it all the way through this story.
This story ended with beautiful conversations, growth, hope, and finding your happiness. I loved seeing paths open for both of them. Yet, Rebecca and Ethan's story was extremely emotional and made me cry multiple times. And there were two different twists that I didn't see coming, they knocked me to the ground. So if you're looking for a young adult story that is character driven and focuses on personal growth and friendship, then this is your book! While there was romance, it just took a little longer to get there then I'm used to. But it made my heart happy. I closed this book smiling and I can't wait to discover more books by Abigail Johnson! She is an extremely powerful writer that will invoke all of your emotions. It was impossible to put down this book!
*I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book, provided by the author. All thoughts and opinions are my own.*
For more of my reviews, please visit:
Blog * Personal Instagram * Blog Instagram * Facebook * Twitter * Bloglovin * Feedly
"You used to come every few months. Why didn't you come back?" And then, in a smaller voice that bleeds with hurt, "Ethan, I waited for you."
That first chapter was set in the past, and it pulled me right in. The relationship Rebecca had with her parents as a little kid was complicated and also delicate. That summer while she was bored in her room, and her mom was working, she watched as a boy got dropped off at his grandparents’ house next door. His name was Ethan and his mom was leaving him. The first time of what would be many. Rebecca witnessed Ethan's whole world explode. And this set the tone for the book. Each moment felt so real, like I was watching a movie. From there we got to alternate between Ethan and Rebecca in the present. With a few chapters in the past, scattered here and there. And our time with Ethan and Rebecca stole the breath from my lungs.
As suddenly as he'd shown up in my life, he'd be gone just as quickly.
And he never said goodbye.
When we jumped into the present, it had been years since Rebecca and Ethan had seen each other. And while they were hesitant at first, the core of their relationship was still there and strong. They had this unbreakable bond that was beautiful. Yet so much had changed. Ethan had grown, and seemed even more jaded. Rebecca was more withdrawn, yet she radiated this beautiful resilience and now used a wheelchair to get around. Both of their lives were so different since the last time they had seen each other years ago. So while they rekindled their friendship so easily, there were still moments were it felt like they were oceans apart from each other. And it left my heart aching.
It's gonna hurt when I leave her. It's already there, that feeling like I can't take a deep enough breath, but what else can I do?
Ethan gutted me. His mother suffered from substance abuse, and he felt as though he had to fight her battles. To protect her from abusive boyfriends and keep her from overdosing. But over the years, his mom would send him to his grandparents. So she could temporarily fix herself. And yet again he found himself at his grandparents’ house. I loved how careful they were around him. How much they wanted to help, even though Ethan wanted no part of it. Ethan was strong willed, determined, and had such a huge heart. I hoped they would help him when his world exploded again. But then there was also Rebecca. And she too was someone who was always there for him too.
I lift a hand from the pool and watch water drip back down into tiny, dissipating ripples on the surface, then let my hand drop with a much more satisfying splash. "I never used to feel like I was just watching my life go by, but that's all I do now. I barely make ripples, let alone a splash."
Rebecca's relationship with her mom hurt. Her mom could be so cold and distant, and she always seemed to keep Rebecca at arm’s length since the accident. Well, if she was even around. The accident had killed Rebecca's father and she was now in a wheelchair learning to navigate her new world. So it pained me to hear Rebecca's thoughts about her mom. How she just wanted to have her mom show she cared about her. It cut so deep. And while Ethan was Rebecca's best friend, she also struggled with him too. He was who she confided in, had fun with, and could simply just be. Yet he proved time and again that he could be gone in the blink of an eye. When his mom came back, he left. So opening to him, since her life had changed so much, was hard. How can you let your whole soul be shown to someone who could just disappear from your life that next day?
He inhales deeply and holds my gaze like a lifeline. "I know better than most people that the real scars, the deep ones, are always on the inside."
His words pierce through me like an arrow, right where I never want anyone to see. I feel my eyes threaten to well up but blinking fast will only betray that fact, so I try and brush his words -his stare - off.
Rebecca and Ethan both had so much on their shoulders. And they both scarified pieces of themselves, because of others. It was important for them to please others, to make their lives easier. Yet it was at the expense of themselves, and what they wanted. So I loved watching them both grow from that first page to the last. That they both needed to figure out how to fight for what they wanted in life. Because I knew that whenever that happened, I would be so proud of them! I also loved the lighter moments too. That those were filled with laughter and smiles. We got to watch how deeply they cared for one another. And while their transition from friends to more was extremely slow burn, the sexual tension between them was done so well. You could feel it all the way through this story.
"You always acted like you were glad when she came back," she says softly.
"Yeah, I was. 'Cause she always came back clean. But I never wanted to go with her. I wanted her to stay with me." I look away. It feels cowardly but I can't stare at her face when I add, "So I could stay with you."
This story ended with beautiful conversations, growth, hope, and finding your happiness. I loved seeing paths open for both of them. Yet, Rebecca and Ethan's story was extremely emotional and made me cry multiple times. And there were two different twists that I didn't see coming, they knocked me to the ground. So if you're looking for a young adult story that is character driven and focuses on personal growth and friendship, then this is your book! While there was romance, it just took a little longer to get there then I'm used to. But it made my heart happy. I closed this book smiling and I can't wait to discover more books by Abigail Johnson! She is an extremely powerful writer that will invoke all of your emotions. It was impossible to put down this book!
*I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book, provided by the author. All thoughts and opinions are my own.*
For more of my reviews, please visit:
Blog * Personal Instagram * Blog Instagram * Facebook * Twitter * Bloglovin * Feedly
August 15, 2022
I'm literally so pumped for this you don't understand. Mention anything by Abigail Johnson and I'll come running.
March 26, 2023
A beautifully told story of two teens navigating the transition from youth to adulthood while working through past traumas and sorting out how to reach for their own happiness. Ethan’s committed to the caretaking of his substance abusing mother. Rebecca’s committed to being the perfect daughter to her emotionally distant mother, following a tragic accident that killed her father and paralyzed her lower body. The pair has a LOT to work through, both of them defaulting to ensuring others don’t see their pain, even if that means deferring their dreams and avoiding supportive, personal connections that will ultimately enrich their lives. With sharp, evocative prose, Johnson shows how two “broken” souls might ultimately be the perfect person to push the other toward the life they truly want, one full of artistic creation, supportive friendships, and maybe even a few perfect kisses in the rain. I loved the visual metaphors woven throughout the book. Flowers left on a windowsill. Jewellery remade. Murals in a treehouse. I also loved that the characters weren’t made into one-dimensional heroic martyrs, despite their profoundly difficult circumstances. They make mistakes. They get mad and say unkind things. They let secrets fester long past the point of healthiness. In other words, they act like real teenagers. They also grow, and learn, and become, such that the thread of “before” and “now” that weaves through the book expands in meaning with each successive chapter. An emotionally rich dual coming-of-age story, told with a fully dimensional supporting cast, an unforgettable cat, gorgeous imagery, and a beautifully authentic, resonant narrative voice.
June 7, 2024
this was nice and had a very satisfying ending
characters were a bit confusing tho I spent like 3/4 of the book thinking two people were the same so
help idk what to say ok
characters were a bit confusing tho I spent like 3/4 of the book thinking two people were the same so
February 7, 2025
***Thanks to NetGalley for providing me a complimentary copy of EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY by Abigail Johnson in exchange for my honest review.***
4.5 STARS
Rebecca lives next door to Ethan’s grandparents. The two become friends as kids when his mom drops him off to get clean. As quickly as he arrives he disappears, returning at various intervals without their childhoods. Now seventeen, Ethan is back after a four year absence, angry and resentful. Rebecca, partially paralyzed from an accident that killed her father carries even more scars on the inside. The two emotionally damaged teens try to regain their friendship and maybe more in EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY.
I enjoy Abigail Johnson’s writing style, the characters she creates and her storytelling. Though the characters are now seventeen, EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY will appeal more toward older middle grade and younger young adult readers as it lacks some of the grittiness and harsher realities of substance abuse older readers would expect.
Thinking of my clients whose parents abused substances, I can’t imagine any would still have hope or try to locate a parent who left rehab for the umpteenth time when there has never been a period of sustained recovery. By the time they’re seventeen, they’re jaded to the unkept promises and while they’re often parentified and blame themselves, they also lack hope that *this time* will be different.
My favorite character was John, Rebecca’s future stepfather. I love how he tried to show Rebecca that her mom demonstrated love in different ways than she did. I could see how her mom’s coldness felt like a lack of love to Rebecca and it made me think of people in my life who were less demonstrative, showing love in deeds rather than words like her mom. This is a great message for young people depicted through the actions of characters, something I wish I had read as a young person.
In the preface Abigail Johnson says she never thought she’d write a paraplegic character and that while Rebecca’s story is not hers and Rebecca is not Johnson, Rebecca couldn’t have been written by an able-bodied person. The experience of someone who’s had to navigate spaces that don’t accommodate wheelchairs, so many places like doors, tables, bathrooms, door handles I’d never considered, could only be told authentically by someone who knows from experience. When I was in college in the early 1980s I worked retail. A customer in a wheelchair complained because the clothing racks were too close together and she couldn’t get through or even shop. It was Christmas time, we jammed as much merchandise as we could into our department. I figured it shouldn’t matter because we rarely had customers in wheelchairs. This was before the Americans with Disabilities Act and not long after Handicapped Parking, as it was then called, be more common. I don’t think I realized until reading EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY how awful my thoughts about the customer’s very justified concern were. I share this in my review to illustrate the importance of Johnson writing a character like Rebecca are. Representation matters and the manner in which Johnson shows Rebecca’s daily life obstacles are less about her paralysis and more about inadequate accommodations by people who probably thought like I did in the 1980s or not at all because they never had to.
I can’t read the title EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY without the song ringing in my head. This important book should be in every middle and high school classroom and library.
4.5 STARS
Rebecca lives next door to Ethan’s grandparents. The two become friends as kids when his mom drops him off to get clean. As quickly as he arrives he disappears, returning at various intervals without their childhoods. Now seventeen, Ethan is back after a four year absence, angry and resentful. Rebecca, partially paralyzed from an accident that killed her father carries even more scars on the inside. The two emotionally damaged teens try to regain their friendship and maybe more in EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY.
I enjoy Abigail Johnson’s writing style, the characters she creates and her storytelling. Though the characters are now seventeen, EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY will appeal more toward older middle grade and younger young adult readers as it lacks some of the grittiness and harsher realities of substance abuse older readers would expect.
Thinking of my clients whose parents abused substances, I can’t imagine any would still have hope or try to locate a parent who left rehab for the umpteenth time when there has never been a period of sustained recovery. By the time they’re seventeen, they’re jaded to the unkept promises and while they’re often parentified and blame themselves, they also lack hope that *this time* will be different.
My favorite character was John, Rebecca’s future stepfather. I love how he tried to show Rebecca that her mom demonstrated love in different ways than she did. I could see how her mom’s coldness felt like a lack of love to Rebecca and it made me think of people in my life who were less demonstrative, showing love in deeds rather than words like her mom. This is a great message for young people depicted through the actions of characters, something I wish I had read as a young person.
In the preface Abigail Johnson says she never thought she’d write a paraplegic character and that while Rebecca’s story is not hers and Rebecca is not Johnson, Rebecca couldn’t have been written by an able-bodied person. The experience of someone who’s had to navigate spaces that don’t accommodate wheelchairs, so many places like doors, tables, bathrooms, door handles I’d never considered, could only be told authentically by someone who knows from experience. When I was in college in the early 1980s I worked retail. A customer in a wheelchair complained because the clothing racks were too close together and she couldn’t get through or even shop. It was Christmas time, we jammed as much merchandise as we could into our department. I figured it shouldn’t matter because we rarely had customers in wheelchairs. This was before the Americans with Disabilities Act and not long after Handicapped Parking, as it was then called, be more common. I don’t think I realized until reading EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY how awful my thoughts about the customer’s very justified concern were. I share this in my review to illustrate the importance of Johnson writing a character like Rebecca are. Representation matters and the manner in which Johnson shows Rebecca’s daily life obstacles are less about her paralysis and more about inadequate accommodations by people who probably thought like I did in the 1980s or not at all because they never had to.
I can’t read the title EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY without the song ringing in my head. This important book should be in every middle and high school classroom and library.
May 10, 2023
Read this if you...
enjoy a story with real heart and authenticity
are okay with reading about tough issues
believe in second chances
What I loved:
Wow - to say I enjoyed this book is an understatement. This is such a beautiful, coming-of-age story that follows the lives of two teens, Rebecca and Ethan, as they move from youth to adulthood. I loved seeing not only their relationship develop but also their own personalities. Johnson paints each of their past traumas and current desires in a way that makes you feel as though you're right by each of their sides. While there is a lot that each of them are battling, from Rebecca's emotionally distant mother, her father being killed in a car accident, and learning she is paralyzed from the waist down to Ethan's substance-abusing mother and unstable upbringing, both continue to choose each other day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year.
What wasn't my favorite:
I don't know how I keep getting this lucky, but I'm not going to complain. There weren't really any specific details that made me feel differently about this book. I think Johnson did an excellent job all around. If anything, I found myself wanting more - more details, more character development, etc. I wish there was more of a backstory given on Rebecca's parent's past and Ethan's mom's past. I think sharing more of Rebecca and Ethan's individual experiences with their parents would have made the story that much stronger, too.
Credit:
Thank you to NetGalley and Inkyard Press for providing me with this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
enjoy a story with real heart and authenticity
are okay with reading about tough issues
believe in second chances
What I loved:
Wow - to say I enjoyed this book is an understatement. This is such a beautiful, coming-of-age story that follows the lives of two teens, Rebecca and Ethan, as they move from youth to adulthood. I loved seeing not only their relationship develop but also their own personalities. Johnson paints each of their past traumas and current desires in a way that makes you feel as though you're right by each of their sides. While there is a lot that each of them are battling, from Rebecca's emotionally distant mother, her father being killed in a car accident, and learning she is paralyzed from the waist down to Ethan's substance-abusing mother and unstable upbringing, both continue to choose each other day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year.
What wasn't my favorite:
I don't know how I keep getting this lucky, but I'm not going to complain. There weren't really any specific details that made me feel differently about this book. I think Johnson did an excellent job all around. If anything, I found myself wanting more - more details, more character development, etc. I wish there was more of a backstory given on Rebecca's parent's past and Ethan's mom's past. I think sharing more of Rebecca and Ethan's individual experiences with their parents would have made the story that much stronger, too.
Credit:
Thank you to NetGalley and Inkyard Press for providing me with this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
April 20, 2024
*I received an e-arc via Netgalley from the publisher. Thank you for the opportunity to review. All thoughts are my own*
I can’t read an Abigail Johnson book without having a cry! I honestly felt all of the emotions in this book. It was such a moving and well written story. It’s both beautiful and absolutely heartbreaking.
Ethan and Rebecca grew up as neighbors and have been friends since they were kids. They have been in and out of each other’s lives and had to deal with a lot of hard things. There was a slow burn love story, but it was so much more than that. It was about the power of hope after a lot of loss.
If you love powerful contemporary romance, then I think you will love this one too! Just give me all of Abigail’s books please!
I can’t read an Abigail Johnson book without having a cry! I honestly felt all of the emotions in this book. It was such a moving and well written story. It’s both beautiful and absolutely heartbreaking.
Ethan and Rebecca grew up as neighbors and have been friends since they were kids. They have been in and out of each other’s lives and had to deal with a lot of hard things. There was a slow burn love story, but it was so much more than that. It was about the power of hope after a lot of loss.
If you love powerful contemporary romance, then I think you will love this one too! Just give me all of Abigail’s books please!
May 29, 2025
3.5 ⭐
This was about 99% pain and 1% healing. Not exactly what I was going for, and the cover is super misleading! Both of our main characters have a lot going on. I really struggled reading Ethan's flashbacks to child abuse. A few times it was quite graphic so definitely be careful going in! Obviously this had a very negative affect on him emotionally, and there was a lot of trial and error in watching him try to construct positive relationships with those around him. Rebecca also struggled with feeling abandoned and also guilt over the death of her father. I would say that these conflicts are unflinchingly explored, and the author truly held nothing back, but the resolutions were slightly rushed, and any positive outcomes only started to bloom in the last 10 pages or so. As a result it was a lot of negativity, which definitely fit the subject matter, but personally was a lot for one book.
There was still so much pain and emotional baggage between Rebecca and Ethan by the end that it didn't feel like entirely the right time for them to be together romantically. Their friendship really stood the test though, and I loved how they pushed each other to be better, even if it meant sacrificing their own vulnerability. This book is very dialogue-driven, and I appreciated how rich conversations were between the characters and how it challenged me to think about how honest I choose to be with others when life gets hard. Overall, I think this is a very good book, but it is also a very heavy book. The themes explored here are necessary and realistic to everyday life which breaks my heart, but I love seeing hard topics tackled in YA, especially when the author shares part of the characters experience. Happy Reading :)
This was about 99% pain and 1% healing. Not exactly what I was going for, and the cover is super misleading! Both of our main characters have a lot going on. I really struggled reading Ethan's flashbacks to child abuse. A few times it was quite graphic so definitely be careful going in! Obviously this had a very negative affect on him emotionally, and there was a lot of trial and error in watching him try to construct positive relationships with those around him. Rebecca also struggled with feeling abandoned and also guilt over the death of her father. I would say that these conflicts are unflinchingly explored, and the author truly held nothing back, but the resolutions were slightly rushed, and any positive outcomes only started to bloom in the last 10 pages or so. As a result it was a lot of negativity, which definitely fit the subject matter, but personally was a lot for one book.
There was still so much pain and emotional baggage between Rebecca and Ethan by the end that it didn't feel like entirely the right time for them to be together romantically. Their friendship really stood the test though, and I loved how they pushed each other to be better, even if it meant sacrificing their own vulnerability. This book is very dialogue-driven, and I appreciated how rich conversations were between the characters and how it challenged me to think about how honest I choose to be with others when life gets hard. Overall, I think this is a very good book, but it is also a very heavy book. The themes explored here are necessary and realistic to everyday life which breaks my heart, but I love seeing hard topics tackled in YA, especially when the author shares part of the characters experience. Happy Reading :)
January 23, 2025
Beautiful little gem about grief, recovery, and forgiveness.
If you like the books The Fault in Our Stars or Five Feet Apart, then you will enjoy Every Time You Go Away/I> by Abigail Johnson. This story is about two kids who grew up with grief, loss, love and who, through it all, end up trying to let go and forgive as they grow older.
Overall, I appreciate this book a lot. Having parents that I couldn't save and tried to save for so many years myself, I can truly say that I have a connection with this book. Mainly, I related to Ethan's character. I just really love books that I can relate to; who wouldn't?
So glad I stumbled upon this book.
If you like the books The Fault in Our Stars or Five Feet Apart, then you will enjoy Every Time You Go Away/I> by Abigail Johnson. This story is about two kids who grew up with grief, loss, love and who, through it all, end up trying to let go and forgive as they grow older.
Overall, I appreciate this book a lot. Having parents that I couldn't save and tried to save for so many years myself, I can truly say that I have a connection with this book. Mainly, I related to Ethan's character. I just really love books that I can relate to; who wouldn't?
So glad I stumbled upon this book.
July 6, 2025
This was kinda sad but like also like I don’t know how to explain it lol
But it’s goodddddddd I finished it so fast and I read any chance I got
Love Rebecca and Ethan together and ugh just yeah I love how this was kinda simple but also complicated
4.5 ⭐️
But it’s goodddddddd I finished it so fast and I read any chance I got
Love Rebecca and Ethan together and ugh just yeah I love how this was kinda simple but also complicated
4.5 ⭐️
April 17, 2023
3.5 stars rounded up
Ethan and Rebecca's story begins when Ethan is dropped off at his Grandparents home next door to Rebecca's parents. His Mom perpetually lost in the revolving door battle of substance abuse, drops him off promising to return when she is well. For Ethan the time apart is filled with anxiety and worry as he waits for her return, the gnawing responsibility of keeping her safe never fading..
Rebecca and Ethan become fast friends making the days go by fast, although the weight he carries clings to him. Over the years, this pattern continues as Ethan is dropped off, only to be whisked away just as abruptly.. Every time he goes away he leaves a picture of a hand drawn flower on Rebecca's windowsill, a goodbye of sorts until he returns. Rebecca faces her own hardships, but she stuffs them down determined to not be a burden to those around her. This sweet and heart wrenching story about love, loss, and forgiveness, will cause you to look deep in your heart and reexamine how our actions affect those we love.
Thank you Netgalley and Inkyard press for allowing me to read this for an honest review
Ethan and Rebecca's story begins when Ethan is dropped off at his Grandparents home next door to Rebecca's parents. His Mom perpetually lost in the revolving door battle of substance abuse, drops him off promising to return when she is well. For Ethan the time apart is filled with anxiety and worry as he waits for her return, the gnawing responsibility of keeping her safe never fading..
Rebecca and Ethan become fast friends making the days go by fast, although the weight he carries clings to him. Over the years, this pattern continues as Ethan is dropped off, only to be whisked away just as abruptly.. Every time he goes away he leaves a picture of a hand drawn flower on Rebecca's windowsill, a goodbye of sorts until he returns. Rebecca faces her own hardships, but she stuffs them down determined to not be a burden to those around her. This sweet and heart wrenching story about love, loss, and forgiveness, will cause you to look deep in your heart and reexamine how our actions affect those we love.
Thank you Netgalley and Inkyard press for allowing me to read this for an honest review
December 29, 2023
This might have been one of my favorite reads of 2023!
Ethan has suffered a lot in his life. His mother is a substance abuser and has a difficult time staying clean so she can be the mom she needs to be for Ethan. When she tries to get help, she sends Ethan to live with his grandparents. This could last for weeks, months, but one thing is always certain: his mom will come back eventually and take him away from Rebecca, his best friend and his main reason for staying. The only goodbye she will receive from him will be a flower, real or drawn, on her windowsill.
Rebecca loves spending time with Ethan, but she hates when she has to leave. Now, she is dealing with much bigger issues: her new life in a wheelchair and the loss of her father. She is confident, resilient, wants to do the best for herself and the people around her. She tries to help Ethan in whatever way she can, often pushing him further than he wants to go.
This is a general timeline of the relationship:
Eight years ago: Ethan and Rebecca meet and become friends. Ethan has just moved in with his grandparents next door to Rebecca, and a beautiful friendship will blossom over time and challenges. They will share memories, kisses, secrets, and so much more. These two people have a special relationship that they have never had with anyone else- which is why it is so hard when Ethan leaves time and time again.
Four Years Ago: Ethan has left for the final time to help his mom overcome her struggled with addiction.
Two years ago: Rebecca is in a car accident that kills her father and confines her to a wheelchair for the rest of her life.
Now, they meet again after four years apart and are able to connect and bond like they used to, despite challenges and events that have changed their lives tremendously. They have changed a lot and have to work to make their friendship work. But... maybe their past trauma can bond them together in a way they weren't before?
Ethan is ready to jump right into their friendship and start where they left off years ago, but Rebecca understands that things will be incredibly different from now on. Their relationship changes with their challenges. Over the course of the book, Ethan and Rebecca will test the limits of their friendship and redefine the boundaries they had previously set. They tackle grief, love, finding your place in the world, and feeling like you belong, in the world, and in your own body.
I absolutely loved these characters. They had their own personalities, problems, and solutions. They were flawed and messy and loving and trying to readjust and I couldn't image better people in the world. They were so real and raw and I felt all their pain as if it was my own.
The writing was great. It had dual POV: Ethan and Rebecca. I felt like I was inside of their heads, learning about them and becoming a part of their worlds. Abigail Johnson has done a great job of displaying both of these people, and all the other characters, and showing both their good and bad qualities.
This was a long book (390 pages) but I was so invested in the story I read it in under two days. I had to know that would happen and if they would have a good ending, like I needed them to have.
I wholeheartedly loved this book and everything about it. I recommend it to anyone looking for a heartfelt, sad, happy, inspiring, and thoughtful book. I will be looking into Abigail Johnson's other works now and hopefully loving them as much.
Ethan has suffered a lot in his life. His mother is a substance abuser and has a difficult time staying clean so she can be the mom she needs to be for Ethan. When she tries to get help, she sends Ethan to live with his grandparents. This could last for weeks, months, but one thing is always certain: his mom will come back eventually and take him away from Rebecca, his best friend and his main reason for staying. The only goodbye she will receive from him will be a flower, real or drawn, on her windowsill.
Rebecca loves spending time with Ethan, but she hates when she has to leave. Now, she is dealing with much bigger issues: her new life in a wheelchair and the loss of her father. She is confident, resilient, wants to do the best for herself and the people around her. She tries to help Ethan in whatever way she can, often pushing him further than he wants to go.
This is a general timeline of the relationship:
Eight years ago: Ethan and Rebecca meet and become friends. Ethan has just moved in with his grandparents next door to Rebecca, and a beautiful friendship will blossom over time and challenges. They will share memories, kisses, secrets, and so much more. These two people have a special relationship that they have never had with anyone else- which is why it is so hard when Ethan leaves time and time again.
Four Years Ago: Ethan has left for the final time to help his mom overcome her struggled with addiction.
Two years ago: Rebecca is in a car accident that kills her father and confines her to a wheelchair for the rest of her life.
Now, they meet again after four years apart and are able to connect and bond like they used to, despite challenges and events that have changed their lives tremendously. They have changed a lot and have to work to make their friendship work. But... maybe their past trauma can bond them together in a way they weren't before?
Ethan is ready to jump right into their friendship and start where they left off years ago, but Rebecca understands that things will be incredibly different from now on. Their relationship changes with their challenges. Over the course of the book, Ethan and Rebecca will test the limits of their friendship and redefine the boundaries they had previously set. They tackle grief, love, finding your place in the world, and feeling like you belong, in the world, and in your own body.
I absolutely loved these characters. They had their own personalities, problems, and solutions. They were flawed and messy and loving and trying to readjust and I couldn't image better people in the world. They were so real and raw and I felt all their pain as if it was my own.
The writing was great. It had dual POV: Ethan and Rebecca. I felt like I was inside of their heads, learning about them and becoming a part of their worlds. Abigail Johnson has done a great job of displaying both of these people, and all the other characters, and showing both their good and bad qualities.
This was a long book (390 pages) but I was so invested in the story I read it in under two days. I had to know that would happen and if they would have a good ending, like I needed them to have.
I wholeheartedly loved this book and everything about it. I recommend it to anyone looking for a heartfelt, sad, happy, inspiring, and thoughtful book. I will be looking into Abigail Johnson's other works now and hopefully loving them as much.
September 1, 2024
I picked this up because of Lynn Painter's praise on the front and it did not disappoint. Told in alternating chapters from childhood friendship until the current day a deep rooted relationship is at the very core of Ethan and Rebecca. It's one of the best friends to lovers I've ever read because they are each dealing with so much independently but they never hide their struggles with each other but hold closer together. It's fierce, and will remain with me for a long time.
June 8, 2023
3/5 🌟🌟🌟
Every Time You Go Away is a YA novel about grief, friendship, family, and finding beauty in even the messiest things. I received an e-arc from Net Galley in exchange for my full, honest review.
The thing is, I really wanted to LOVE this book. Every aspect of it from an outside perspective told me this would have been one of my favorite YA novels, but I’m disappointed to say that (almost) every aspect of how Rebecca and Ethan handled their respective situations really, really frustrated me. Going into stories like this one, I am always aware that there will be a ‘third-act-conflict,’ but when it lasts about 50 pages (I lost count tbh) that is not enjoyable for ANY reader. I understood grief and anger in a different way in this book because the characters became so insufferable in a way that I had to put the book down certain days and didn’t even wanna come back to it later because I KNEW they would still be fighting and not COMMUNICATING. That’s one of my least favorite tropes to exist in any book, and it especially wasn’t desirable to see here based on how excited and invested I was in Rebecca and Ethan’s relationship. It honestly got to the point where I did not care if they ended up together at the end or not— I just wanted them to be friends!!!
It was so much to ask for. I wish I could recommend this story to friends and family, but when the couple finally makes up in the last 3 pages of the story, I simply cannot justify that.
Every Time You Go Away is a YA novel about grief, friendship, family, and finding beauty in even the messiest things. I received an e-arc from Net Galley in exchange for my full, honest review.
The thing is, I really wanted to LOVE this book. Every aspect of it from an outside perspective told me this would have been one of my favorite YA novels, but I’m disappointed to say that (almost) every aspect of how Rebecca and Ethan handled their respective situations really, really frustrated me. Going into stories like this one, I am always aware that there will be a ‘third-act-conflict,’ but when it lasts about 50 pages (I lost count tbh) that is not enjoyable for ANY reader. I understood grief and anger in a different way in this book because the characters became so insufferable in a way that I had to put the book down certain days and didn’t even wanna come back to it later because I KNEW they would still be fighting and not COMMUNICATING. That’s one of my least favorite tropes to exist in any book, and it especially wasn’t desirable to see here based on how excited and invested I was in Rebecca and Ethan’s relationship. It honestly got to the point where I did not care if they ended up together at the end or not— I just wanted them to be friends!!!
It was so much to ask for. I wish I could recommend this story to friends and family, but when the couple finally makes up in the last 3 pages of the story, I simply cannot justify that.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 10, 2023
3.5 rounded up
This was definitely not a light-hearted YA romcom, but rather this #ownvoices wheelchair user story features a second chance romance between two friends turned more teens who are reunited after several years apart only to have to navigate Rebecca's new status as a paralyzed wheelchair user and Ethan's abandonment by his drug and alcohol addicted mother.
The complicated parental relationships seemed to trump the romantic relationship between the two leads in this book which was fine - those relationships are sure to be relatable to many teens but I wasn't a fan of how much underage drinking as a way to cope with life problems there were in this one (a personal preference).
Good on audio with a note by the author included at the end and recommended for fans of books like Where you see yourself by Claire Forrest. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest opinions.
This was definitely not a light-hearted YA romcom, but rather this #ownvoices wheelchair user story features a second chance romance between two friends turned more teens who are reunited after several years apart only to have to navigate Rebecca's new status as a paralyzed wheelchair user and Ethan's abandonment by his drug and alcohol addicted mother.
The complicated parental relationships seemed to trump the romantic relationship between the two leads in this book which was fine - those relationships are sure to be relatable to many teens but I wasn't a fan of how much underage drinking as a way to cope with life problems there were in this one (a personal preference).
Good on audio with a note by the author included at the end and recommended for fans of books like Where you see yourself by Claire Forrest. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest opinions.
May 2, 2023
This was a dense book that dealt with some hard-hitting topics. I liked are main characters because they seemed real and were flawed.
I enjoyed seeing their relationship develop and see them grow as characters. I felt like the plot did lag in some areas, but overall was good!
ARC kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I enjoyed seeing their relationship develop and see them grow as characters. I felt like the plot did lag in some areas, but overall was good!
ARC kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
March 15, 2024
This is a beautiful YA book with own-voices disability rep about two friend who are navigating their personal traumas, first love (with eachother) & figuring out what they want for their futures. It’s a coming of age story with so much depth. I knew I would love it when I preordered it after reading the description, and it lived up the my expectations and then some. Highly recommend!
- ya romance
- friends to lovers
- second chance
- boy/girl nextdoor
- disability rep
- grief/death of parent
- parental neglect
- addict parent
- childhood trauma
- family trauma
- multiple timelines
- dual pov (I almost never see this in YA so I loved that about this book!)
- teens giving themselves stick and poke tattoos (something I personally relate to so that was a throwback for me lmao)
- ya romance
- friends to lovers
- second chance
- boy/girl nextdoor
- disability rep
- grief/death of parent
- parental neglect
- addict parent
- childhood trauma
- family trauma
- multiple timelines
- dual pov (I almost never see this in YA so I loved that about this book!)
- teens giving themselves stick and poke tattoos (something I personally relate to so that was a throwback for me lmao)
April 5, 2025
This was a YA romance that was heavy on real life struggles such as grief, anger, and childhood trauma. I enjoyed seeing the characters and their flaws as they navigated life and loved watching the growth they each experienced. Overall, it was enjoyable and interesting and I believe it will resonate with a lot of people who have/are experiencing the things Ethan and Abigail do throughout this story. 3.5 stars rounded up ⭐️
July 24, 2024
2024 reads: 200/250
content warnings: addiction, death of parent, abandonment, grief, car accident
eight years ago, ethan and rebecca met and immediately became close. then, ethan’s mom returned to take him away. every time he visits, ethan’s only goodbye is a flower on rebecca’s windowsill. three years ago, ethan left for the last time to take care of his mother, who struggles with addiction. two years ago, rebecca was in an accident that led to her father dying and her becoming a wheelchair user. now, they meet again, and discover whether their hardships have torn them apart or will bring them closer together.
this was such an emotional roller coaster. as i mentioned above, ethan and rebecca have both been through difficult things while apart from each other: ethan feeling responsible for caring for his mother, and rebecca feeling responsible for her father’s death, in addition to learning to navigate the world as a wheelchair user.
i also loved the whole premise of ethan and rebecca continuously being torn apart but still, for the most part, picking their friendship back up once together again. i really enjoyed this book, and i want to read more of abigail johnson’s books!
content warnings: addiction, death of parent, abandonment, grief, car accident
eight years ago, ethan and rebecca met and immediately became close. then, ethan’s mom returned to take him away. every time he visits, ethan’s only goodbye is a flower on rebecca’s windowsill. three years ago, ethan left for the last time to take care of his mother, who struggles with addiction. two years ago, rebecca was in an accident that led to her father dying and her becoming a wheelchair user. now, they meet again, and discover whether their hardships have torn them apart or will bring them closer together.
this was such an emotional roller coaster. as i mentioned above, ethan and rebecca have both been through difficult things while apart from each other: ethan feeling responsible for caring for his mother, and rebecca feeling responsible for her father’s death, in addition to learning to navigate the world as a wheelchair user.
i also loved the whole premise of ethan and rebecca continuously being torn apart but still, for the most part, picking their friendship back up once together again. i really enjoyed this book, and i want to read more of abigail johnson’s books!
April 26, 2025
“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore to be happy.”
My goodness. So many emotions. Cried into my noodles. I absolutely adored Ethan and Rebecca. Their journey of healing was hard but so worth it in the end.
My goodness. So many emotions. Cried into my noodles. I absolutely adored Ethan and Rebecca. Their journey of healing was hard but so worth it in the end.
December 6, 2023
This was a beautifully written story about guilt, family, childhood trauma and friendship starring characters who feel extremely real and vulnerable. The progression of Ethan and Rebecca's relationship was understated in a way that a lot of YA relationships aren't, and I truly appreciated the development that happened. There were definitely parts of the plot that lagged, making the pacing of the book a bit odd because the chapters were short, which usually quickens the pace. For the majority of the book, I also just wanted to scream at the characters to actually talk to each other because the lack of communication was astounding. Overall, this was a heartfelt, authentic story that I really enjoyed.
May 2, 2023
I can’t remember the last time I cried throughout an entire book. Every star I have goes to this one. Alexa, play Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift😭
First off, I want to thank NetGalley, Inkyard Press, and Abigail Johnson for the ARC of this book. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Because I’ve been in the biggest slump and this single handedly pulled me out. I haven’t had a 5 star read in a WHILE. This was simultaneously heartbreaking and heart fulfilling.
This is a childhood friends to lovers, and boy was the angst angsting!!! Ethan is dropped off at his grandparents house to stay for months at a time throughout the years because his mother is an addict—she always picks him up when she sobers up. But he strikes a close friendship with Rebecca, our MC who lives next door. When he finally comes back at 17, after years of being away, he finds that things have changed: Rebecca is now in a wheelchair after he paralyzed from a car accident that killed her family. With both characters having strenuous relationships with their mothers, and their own battles with grief and guilt, their relationship is constantly being tested.
This book was heavy, so please be wary of that and the trigger warnings. I have to say, I appreciate that the character is written by an author with the same disability, because it felt more authentic to see her struggles—even with day to day life in a world that remains majorly inaccessible. But also, reading about the kind of grief someone can have over their able-body.
Ethan’s experiences and feelings about his mom were so brutal to read. The struggle of having someone choose the drugs over your time and time again was excruciating to read.
“Why couldn’t you want me more?”
UGHHH. PAIN.
She really captured the messiest emotions a person who is close to an addict could have, and she captured it beautifully, perfectly, devastatingly.
The plot was solid and interesting and captivating, but the romance had me in tears. Ethan LOVES REBECCA AND REBECCA LOVES HIM WITH HER WHOLE HEART. Their relationship felt so natural and beautiful and painful and sweet. Their journey was so beautiful to read and you really do feel like you’ve been on a JOURNEY by the time you’re done reading this.
“Needing to get back to my mom feels like a tight fist clenching in my chest. Wanting to be with Rebecca is like that fist letting go.”
LIKE HUH?????????? EXCUSE ME MA’AM?? WHO SAID YOU COULD HURT ME LIKE THIS???
The last line of the novel literally brought me to tears. it was so subtly impactful, and the perfect way to end the book.
If you read this, I promise you won’t regret it. I hope it becomes a number one best seller because it deserves everyone’s stars.
{Content warnings: addiction, grief, child abuse, physical trauma, neglect.}
First off, I want to thank NetGalley, Inkyard Press, and Abigail Johnson for the ARC of this book. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Because I’ve been in the biggest slump and this single handedly pulled me out. I haven’t had a 5 star read in a WHILE. This was simultaneously heartbreaking and heart fulfilling.
This is a childhood friends to lovers, and boy was the angst angsting!!! Ethan is dropped off at his grandparents house to stay for months at a time throughout the years because his mother is an addict—she always picks him up when she sobers up. But he strikes a close friendship with Rebecca, our MC who lives next door. When he finally comes back at 17, after years of being away, he finds that things have changed: Rebecca is now in a wheelchair after he paralyzed from a car accident that killed her family. With both characters having strenuous relationships with their mothers, and their own battles with grief and guilt, their relationship is constantly being tested.
This book was heavy, so please be wary of that and the trigger warnings. I have to say, I appreciate that the character is written by an author with the same disability, because it felt more authentic to see her struggles—even with day to day life in a world that remains majorly inaccessible. But also, reading about the kind of grief someone can have over their able-body.
Ethan’s experiences and feelings about his mom were so brutal to read. The struggle of having someone choose the drugs over your time and time again was excruciating to read.
“Why couldn’t you want me more?”
UGHHH. PAIN.
She really captured the messiest emotions a person who is close to an addict could have, and she captured it beautifully, perfectly, devastatingly.
The plot was solid and interesting and captivating, but the romance had me in tears. Ethan LOVES REBECCA AND REBECCA LOVES HIM WITH HER WHOLE HEART. Their relationship felt so natural and beautiful and painful and sweet. Their journey was so beautiful to read and you really do feel like you’ve been on a JOURNEY by the time you’re done reading this.
“Needing to get back to my mom feels like a tight fist clenching in my chest. Wanting to be with Rebecca is like that fist letting go.”
LIKE HUH?????????? EXCUSE ME MA’AM?? WHO SAID YOU COULD HURT ME LIKE THIS???
The last line of the novel literally brought me to tears. it was so subtly impactful, and the perfect way to end the book.
If you read this, I promise you won’t regret it. I hope it becomes a number one best seller because it deserves everyone’s stars.
{Content warnings: addiction, grief, child abuse, physical trauma, neglect.}
December 5, 2023
I received a proof copy in return for my honest review.
This heart-breaking YA romance follows Ethan and Rebecca, who met when Ethan came to stay at his grandparents eight years ago.
Over the years Ethan comes and goes each time his Mum comes back to collect him, putting a hold on the relationship the two are building.
This time circumstances have changed, and they must both make difficult decisions regarding their future life and their relationship with each other.
What decisions will they make? Will their relationship become more than friendship?
I found this YA romance heart-breaking at times with the situations Ethan and Rebecca must deal with and how they are being treated by others close to them.
The book moves between the different times Ethan came to stay, with both main characters sides being told. It helps to understand the character’s and makes you warm to them even more.
There is a disability aspect to the storyline too, and it is nice to see that even if they have lost their confidence, they eventually work out how strong they really are.
Overall, a heart-breaking YA romance where two young adults must decide their future lives, and whether that would be together.
This heart-breaking YA romance follows Ethan and Rebecca, who met when Ethan came to stay at his grandparents eight years ago.
Over the years Ethan comes and goes each time his Mum comes back to collect him, putting a hold on the relationship the two are building.
This time circumstances have changed, and they must both make difficult decisions regarding their future life and their relationship with each other.
What decisions will they make? Will their relationship become more than friendship?
I found this YA romance heart-breaking at times with the situations Ethan and Rebecca must deal with and how they are being treated by others close to them.
The book moves between the different times Ethan came to stay, with both main characters sides being told. It helps to understand the character’s and makes you warm to them even more.
There is a disability aspect to the storyline too, and it is nice to see that even if they have lost their confidence, they eventually work out how strong they really are.
Overall, a heart-breaking YA romance where two young adults must decide their future lives, and whether that would be together.
April 11, 2023
This book is about two teens who are on a journey to see if love triumphs all. This is told from two perspectives Ethan who has a lot of childhood trauma from dealing with his drug addict mother and Rebecca who is trying to navigate life in a wheelchair and dealing with the trauma of losing her father.
This book is beyond beautiful! I love the whole thing. I loved the authors reasoning for writing a book with one of the main characters being in a wheelchair and feel like her experiences really helped the character come alive. I feel like this book brought a lot of awareness around the difficulties someone in a wheelchair can have in this world and expressed how everyplace should be wheelchair accessible. You never really think about it really unless it is affecting you, or at least I haven’t; but it really made me think about it. I really connected with Ethan’s story having to deal with a family member who struggled with addiction her whole life and how that effected me as a child. I also related a little bit to Rebecca and her Relationship with her mother. I was so emotionally invested in this story right from the beginning.Overall I loved Ethan and Rebecca’s story the good and bad. I would highly recommend
I would like to thank NetGalley, the author and the publisher for letting me read this arc copy!
This book is beyond beautiful! I love the whole thing. I loved the authors reasoning for writing a book with one of the main characters being in a wheelchair and feel like her experiences really helped the character come alive. I feel like this book brought a lot of awareness around the difficulties someone in a wheelchair can have in this world and expressed how everyplace should be wheelchair accessible. You never really think about it really unless it is affecting you, or at least I haven’t; but it really made me think about it. I really connected with Ethan’s story having to deal with a family member who struggled with addiction her whole life and how that effected me as a child. I also related a little bit to Rebecca and her Relationship with her mother. I was so emotionally invested in this story right from the beginning.Overall I loved Ethan and Rebecca’s story the good and bad. I would highly recommend
I would like to thank NetGalley, the author and the publisher for letting me read this arc copy!
September 11, 2023
Rebecca and Ethan are best friends... at least when Ethan is staying with his grandparents. Periodically, Ethan will stay with his grandparents when his mom sorts through her issues with addiction. However, its always for a temporary amount of time, always leaving abruptly when his Mom returns for him. This time, though feels different. Not just because of the amount of time that has elapsed, but also the fact that both Rebecca and Ethan have changed and are no longer the kids they used to be.
Despite the fun and easy-going cover, I found this book to read a bit heavier in the emotions than I was anticipating. There are topics of addiction, trauma, family tension, and disabilities to name a few, discussed throughout this novel. Rebecca and Ethan both have their own demons they must face, and figure out what that means for their future. Ultimately, they both have to learn how to communicate with their loved ones, and explain their own needs, even when it hurts them to hear them.
I enjoyed this novel, and thought the topics were done in an interesting and reflective way. The book read well, and I was a fan of the plot and story-line finding the story to be unique, and enjoyable.
Despite the fun and easy-going cover, I found this book to read a bit heavier in the emotions than I was anticipating. There are topics of addiction, trauma, family tension, and disabilities to name a few, discussed throughout this novel. Rebecca and Ethan both have their own demons they must face, and figure out what that means for their future. Ultimately, they both have to learn how to communicate with their loved ones, and explain their own needs, even when it hurts them to hear them.
I enjoyed this novel, and thought the topics were done in an interesting and reflective way. The book read well, and I was a fan of the plot and story-line finding the story to be unique, and enjoyable.
November 21, 2023
"It's time to start discovering that this new life, the only one you have, might still be worth making into something"
thank you to Inkyard Press and Abigail Johnson for this arc in exchange for an honest review- all thoughts and opinions are my own :))
Release date: December 5, 2023
3.5 ⭐
usually I go into books with expecting them to be good or great
I started this one thinking I would hate it (contemporaries have never really been my style), but I was so surprised to find out that I absolutely loved reading this book!
From the very beginning this book hit hard and deep emotionally and I'm so glad I gave it a chance!
Random thoughts on the cover because I can do what I want
Obviously its Ethan and Bec Bec (maybe in the wedding rehearsal dress)
Why is his hair so shaggy- ew?
THE FLOWERS ARE THE PAPER FLOWERS ETHAN LEAVES EVERY TIME HE GOES AWAY 😭😭
NO ARE THEY FORGET ME NOTS
THAT'S EVEN WORSE
I'M ALREADY EMOTIONALLY SCARRED WTF 😭
Characters: 4/5
Rebecca
”I lost myself here and I’m only just starting to try and put myself back together”
before I get into this (because the character development was INSANE) let us take a moment of silence to appreciate how much this girl went through because she is strong. She had to go through the heartbreak of gaining and losing a friend of years, and never being able to say goodbye, her dad died- someone who brought so much light to her life, she lost her ability to walk- something that while it doesn’t make her less than in any way but nonetheless takes so much strength to adjust to, and the ICING ON THE TRAUMA CAKE, she thinks her mom hates her and blames her for the death of her father
so yeah
that’s prettyyyyy heavy
I was THIS CLOSE to just straight up bawling my eyes out for half of this book (in a good way ofc)
I absolutely loved the way she grew throughout the book
In the beginning, she was this really sad and lonely girl, hiding all of her pain from her friends, family, and all the people that loved her behind a mask of happiness, and by the end, she finally felt brave enough and safe enough to tell people that she is not okay. And that it’s okay to not be okay. She learns that asking for someone to reach out and showing them what she needs.
On a completely unhinged and off topic note:
BESTIE COULD PULL
ALL THE MANS WAS WANTING HER
LIKE MY POOR BABYY 😭😭
SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH TOO MUCH
I JUST WANNA GIVE HER A BIG HUG 🫂
Ethan
*sigh*
Don’t get me wrong
I loved Ethan
But for one I feel like his name just didn’t fit?
Like he did not seem like Ethan?? Like it was throwing me off the whole book
And then most of the time he was so sweet and kind and understanding- especially about Rebecca, BUT JESUS CHRIST
THIS GUY WOULD PISS ME OFF SOMETIMES
HOW CAN YOU BE SO DUMB AND BLIND
ALL THE TIME
LiKE READ THE ROOM MY DUDE
UGH
BESTIE COULD JUST NOT TELL HOW SAD SHE IS SOMETIMES
LIKE BEC BEC NEEDS YOU
✨anyways✨
He also had so astounding character development because LET ME TELL YOU his entire purpose in life was taking care of his mom (don’t EVEN get me started on this woman 😡🤬😤) and making sure she was okay, and just lashing out at anyone and anything that got in the way of that. Throughout the book you watch him find out that it’s okay to to focus on himself and his needs and wants before those of a person who’s supposed to be taking care of HIM. It’s cheesy I know, but basically in looking for his mom he found the ✨true love and friendship✨ along the way.
✨and now a short intermission so I can scream my anger at Ethan's “mom” ✨
I'M GONNA HAVE SOME WORDS WITH THIS WOMAN
LIKE BESTIE WESTIE
RAISE YOUR SON
DON’T DRINK AWAY YOUR PROBLEMS AND GET HIGH
THIS POOR LITTLE BOY NEEDS A MOTHER
HES CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT YOU DYING
GET A GRIP
AND DON’T GIVE ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES AND ALCOHOL TO CHILDREN
IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK
✨and thus I hope you enjoyed that unabridged production of “Screaming My Anger At Ethan’s Mom”✨
Romance 2.5/5
”I will never let you go”
I can’t lie I was VERYY skeptical about the romance
I’m more of a plot with a side of romance
But this was more going for romance as a main dish
But like honestly… I was INVESTED
I SWEAR THE SEXUAL TENSION WAS KILLING ME SOMETIMES
LIKE AT LEAST 80 GABILLION TIMES THEY WOULD BE SO FREAKING CLOSE TO KISSING AND ONE OF THEM WOULD LOOK AWAY SINCE THEY DIDN’T THINK THE OTHER PERSON WANTED THEM
AND IT WOULD GO RIGHT TO THE OTHER POV WITH THEM SAYING “wow I felt that tension and we should have kissed”
LIKE ME TOO 😭😭
GIVE INTO IT GUYS
”Give me the hard and the hurt, all the messed-up shit you’ve been carrying these past few years”
Nah but that miscommunication
It was killing me sometimes
And honestly it was mostly just Ethan
He just didn’t have a clue and he’d only really understood when Rebecca was upset when Neel told him
Like how are you gonna let some guy she met a year ago one up your childhood friendship 🤡
They were both so damn clueless 🙄
But it was pretty cute- kinda average ig
Plot 2/5
This one was definitely more character based and was more having a focus on their internal issues so the plot was pretty slow at times
I wasn’t really interested in Ethan looking for his mom it was just not that captivating
I was here for the emotional turmoil and drama
So I wasn’t worried about the lack of plot but I was definitely hoping for a little more substance
And uh yeah thats it
Congrats if you made it this far
Or skimmed
I’m excited to see how Abigail Johnson grows in her next books because I definitely saw a lot of potential :))
Quotesssssss
”I know better than most people that the real scars, the deep ones, are always on the inside.”
”The guilt? Nothing is heavier than that”
”It wasn’t the same and it never would be again, but there was a beauty to it all it’s own.”
May 18, 2023
This. Was. Everything. I have one word to describe what I felt while reading Every Time You Go Away: achy. Honestly, I'm surprised my heartstrings are still intact. The writing was so real, so evocative, and I feel like I'm a different person for having read it. Both Rebecca and Ethan have experienced trauma of two very different kinds, but the way they compliment each other, the way they relearn to understand each other, and how they learn more about themselves through it and grow as individuals, it was just so beautiful to witness. And the supporting cast? Perfection. Amelia was my favorite. Loud, opinionated, sarcastic, always threatening to fire you, but loving and has your best interest at heart mom-friend? Same. Perfect compliment for Bec. I genuinely don't know what else to say. This book was just everything.
August 19, 2023
I received an advanced copy via NetGalley - my heartfelt thanks and appreciation.
Abigail Johnson gives me FEELINGS. Her talent with words is unique and lands upon my heart like they were written just for me. I can relate to characters that I have nothing in common with. I can empathize with all of them.
And ETHAN. Oh Ethan. His voice was probably my favorite POV this author has ever written. Every word hung so raw and beautiful and I just wanted to give the poor boy a hug.
Even the side characters have depth and life and something to love AND hate about each one. That's something often lacking in YA romances these days.
This is so much more than a romance though. It's a show of bravery, starting with the author herself.
Abigail Johnson gives me FEELINGS. Her talent with words is unique and lands upon my heart like they were written just for me. I can relate to characters that I have nothing in common with. I can empathize with all of them.
And ETHAN. Oh Ethan. His voice was probably my favorite POV this author has ever written. Every word hung so raw and beautiful and I just wanted to give the poor boy a hug.
Even the side characters have depth and life and something to love AND hate about each one. That's something often lacking in YA romances these days.
This is so much more than a romance though. It's a show of bravery, starting with the author herself.
September 9, 2023
This book was full of emotions and heartbreak, but in the the best kind of way. Similar to 'All the Bright Places' without the heart wrenching plot twist. Both characters went through tremendous trauma and had a lot to learn about themselves and each other as they fell in love. I love the idea of falling in love over many years, through many changes and life events. The coming back together and resuming a friendship, it was was all really cute to me. I think the characters communication skills grew throughout the text, which I also really enjoyed. Overall a really good story, though it definitely brought me to tears a few times.
April 27, 2023
Format Read: Ebook from Net Galley
Review: I was quickly pulled into this romance and didn’t want to put it down. It could have been longer and gone deeper with a storyline this engrossing. A few times the characters grated on me with their repetitive whining, but that is teens for ya.
Recommended For: Fans of young adult or romance.
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