What do you think?
Rate this book
Sweet Grapes: How to Stop Being Infertile and Start Living Again
Examines the psychological aspects of infertility and offers advice on redefining one's life and recognizing the potential for growth while living childfree.
- GenresAdoption
157 pages, Paperback
First published November 30, 1988
14 people are currently reading
61 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
August 12, 2021
I'm not really into reading self-help books. However, I struggled greatly with infertility. I had always believed that if you wanted something enough and worked hard enough you could get it. So it was a tremendous blow to realize that there is actually something that no matter what you do, you will never achieve.
It was a rough time and I sought therapy to work through it. I mention this because one of the books my therapist recommended to me was this book. When I read it (at least 12 or so years ago), it really made me think. And it's a book that to this day I still think about as I find there are times when certain parts of it will pop into my mind for whatever reason.
Do I recommend this book for everyone? No. Will it help everyone? Absolutely not. I say this because often (in my layman's beliefs), when you want a child more than anything and are faced with the facts of infertility, that there is a tremendous grieving process. It's hard to be happy for friends, family, co-workers, even strangers on the street when they are pregnant. There's not just grief but anger and it's a hard thing to find peace with. So the ideas that this book brings forth may be very uncomfortable for people who are still grieving or are not ready to accept that they are infertile. It may never be for them.
However, I found the book to be tremendous help. It asks hard questions as to why you want a child. I found it made me really contemplate why I wanted a child, what exactly was it that I wanted (did I want to see a miniature me? did I want someone to keep me company as I age? do I want someone to take care of me when I am older?). In fact, it was one of the reasons that I ended up adopting because I had to face all the reasons I wanted a child and whether it really mattered whether the child was my own flesh and blood. So I knew going in that I was adopting because of the "right" reasons in that I was looking at the child as an individual and not really an extension of myself.
But it mostly shows that a couple can grow close together and have a warm, loving and fulfilling life without children. And I think for many who are grieving still, that is a hard to believe (and accept) reality. My mom, when I told her I couldn't carry a child to term, said to me that it was ok and that it just meant that my husband and I could love each other more strongly. The book just basically reinforces that idea.
It was a rough time and I sought therapy to work through it. I mention this because one of the books my therapist recommended to me was this book. When I read it (at least 12 or so years ago), it really made me think. And it's a book that to this day I still think about as I find there are times when certain parts of it will pop into my mind for whatever reason.
Do I recommend this book for everyone? No. Will it help everyone? Absolutely not. I say this because often (in my layman's beliefs), when you want a child more than anything and are faced with the facts of infertility, that there is a tremendous grieving process. It's hard to be happy for friends, family, co-workers, even strangers on the street when they are pregnant. There's not just grief but anger and it's a hard thing to find peace with. So the ideas that this book brings forth may be very uncomfortable for people who are still grieving or are not ready to accept that they are infertile. It may never be for them.
However, I found the book to be tremendous help. It asks hard questions as to why you want a child. I found it made me really contemplate why I wanted a child, what exactly was it that I wanted (did I want to see a miniature me? did I want someone to keep me company as I age? do I want someone to take care of me when I am older?). In fact, it was one of the reasons that I ended up adopting because I had to face all the reasons I wanted a child and whether it really mattered whether the child was my own flesh and blood. So I knew going in that I was adopting because of the "right" reasons in that I was looking at the child as an individual and not really an extension of myself.
But it mostly shows that a couple can grow close together and have a warm, loving and fulfilling life without children. And I think for many who are grieving still, that is a hard to believe (and accept) reality. My mom, when I told her I couldn't carry a child to term, said to me that it was ok and that it just meant that my husband and I could love each other more strongly. The book just basically reinforces that idea.
January 3, 2015
Even though the book was written in the late 80's it is still so very relevant. Such an honest and sensitive look into the choice of child-free living after infertility. It's a shame there's not more on this subject. Crazy to think that 25 years after the book was written this topic is still so taboo and misunderstood. This is the perfect book to help people explore this as a viable option for resolving their infertility. We are testing the waters and this book helped me immensely.
June 5, 2013
Just finished this (yes, it's 3:50 am). AWESOME AWESOME book!! So glad it was written. So much of it echoes what I have already been feeling a peace about. Here's to sweet grapes and unlocking opportunities I wouldn't have as a parent.
October 31, 2017
I thought this was a good one - even if you aren't planning on staying childless. It will help you to deal with natural infertility and how to make a better plan going forward. Very helpful.
August 31, 2019
a little too much repetition..........some good advice
September 26, 2011
This book gives a nice perspective and is certainly a good read for anyone struggling through infertility.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews