A Safe Place for Women: How to Survive Domestic Abuse and Create a Successful Future

by Kelly White

There is life, joy, and love after abuse As a young wife and mother, Kelly White experienced violence and terror at the hands of her husband. She knows firsthand the love–hate relationships women often have with their abusers and the devastating effects these feelings can have on independence and self-confidence. She has sought refuge in a women’s shelter, worked to obtain help from law enforcement and struggled financially and emotionally as a single mother and sole breadwinner. Twenty-five years later, as the leader of nationally recognized programs for battered women, she has helped thousands of women and children rebuild their lives. White’s own story, and those of other women who have survived and thrived, are related here. She also provides practical tools for abused women and the friends, family and professionals who seek to help them. You learn White includes important information on the impact of domestic violence on children, the role of drugs and alcohol in abuse, violence against people with disabilities and battering in the lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgendered communities. While violence against women is not a thing of the past, using this resource can help battered women make it a part of their pasts — and create a safe and fulfilling future for themselves and their children.

Genres: Abuse, Nonfiction

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a domestic abuse survivor so reading this book really triggered alot of emotions in me. The author, Kelly White, is the former Director of SafePlace in Austin, Texas. She herself was a victim of domestic violence and her story is quite disturbing. However, she didn't stay stuck in her victimization. She reached out and selflessly gave to others.

A quoted survivor states "battering happens everywhere, anywhere, not just to women in poor neighborhoods. It happens in nice neighborhoods. It happens in families that look like happy families - like mine." This is the truth of my experience.

One of the more important aspects of this book is the frequent sense of hope, determination and success of the women who turned their lives into something better. Something that didn't define them as victims any longer. Many of the stories in this book, including the one of the author herself, are incredibly sad. But also uplifting. Many of the women developed an ability to move beyond victimization. The author speaks in one paragraph about her feelings about the people she has assisted and really, when you think about what she has to say, the survivors of domestic violence are, truly, heroes.

"I know there are real heroes who walk among us, people who have overcome astonishing odds without the benefit of superpowers or even the things many of us take for granted…" "These are the heroes who have been thrust into situations they haven't asked for or been prepared for, but who have nevertheless overcome unbelievable odds."

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was extremely helpful for me to hear the author's own experience with domestic violence, because she also began to question her own sanity and wonder if the problem was all her fault. It was sickening to see that so many other women have been treated as I have not only by their husbands, but also by the legal system. If I ever get through this to the other side, I'd like to be an advocate. She focuses heavily on domestic violence shelters, but I found all of her chapters to be informative and helpful.

[Jay Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little too thick but altogether a good read. If i was planning on starting my own shelter this would be on my list of books to read. As for someone interested in learning about how to survive domestic abuse, I feel this book was a little bit too thorough, it focused too heavily on the authors own journey of running a shelter and spoke of other women distantly. I gave it a 4 start rating b/c although good in information, it was a little heavy handed and a bit too lengthy.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of my book club members gave this to me as a suggestion for a book club read. As I wrote my college thesis on this topic, I wanted to see how things have changed in 20 years (!) in regards to assistance for women in abusive situations.