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Living Kindness: Metta Practice for the Whole of Our Lives
To live kindness is to express the essential Buddhist wisdom of selflessness
Through stories from the ancient Pali canon of Buddhism and personal reflections on modern life, Dharma teacher Kevin Griffin reveals the richness and multifaceted nature of loving-kindness or metta on the Buddhist path. Along with the other brahmaviharas or “divine abodes” of compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity, the practice of loving-kindness is not only a meditation technique—it’s a radical way of life based in wisdom, ethics, and compassion for all beings. As one friend on the spiritual path speaking to another, Griffin explores the human dimension of what can sometimes seem like lofty philosophy. What would it mean to be completely free of ill will? How do we love without clinging? Can we expand our loving-kindness beyond the human realm to encompass the Earth itself? And how does loving-kindness relate to the ultimate Buddhist goal of enlightenment? Through guided practices and illuminating explorations of classical texts like the Metta Sutta, readers are invited to deepen their understanding of a core Buddhist teaching.
Through stories from the ancient Pali canon of Buddhism and personal reflections on modern life, Dharma teacher Kevin Griffin reveals the richness and multifaceted nature of loving-kindness or metta on the Buddhist path. Along with the other brahmaviharas or “divine abodes” of compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity, the practice of loving-kindness is not only a meditation technique—it’s a radical way of life based in wisdom, ethics, and compassion for all beings. As one friend on the spiritual path speaking to another, Griffin explores the human dimension of what can sometimes seem like lofty philosophy. What would it mean to be completely free of ill will? How do we love without clinging? Can we expand our loving-kindness beyond the human realm to encompass the Earth itself? And how does loving-kindness relate to the ultimate Buddhist goal of enlightenment? Through guided practices and illuminating explorations of classical texts like the Metta Sutta, readers are invited to deepen their understanding of a core Buddhist teaching.
176 pages, Paperback
First published December 27, 2022
26 people are currently reading
2567 people want to read
About the author
Kevin Griffin
49 books52 followersKevin Griffin is the author of One Breath at a Time: Buddhism and the Twelve Steps, the breakthrough book that established him as a leader in the mindful recovery movement. Since its publication, Kevin has toured extensively, giving workshops and lectures at places as diverse as Harlem, the Colorado Rockies, and Hawaii. Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, he teaches “Dharma and Recovery” at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. In addition, Kevin is co-founder and board member of the Buddhist Recovery Network (www.buddhistrecovery.org), an international organization that serves people in the recovery community through training, treatment, and research. He continues to offer workshops, lectures, and retreats around the country.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
May 11, 2025
I start a lot of Buddhist books but tend to get bored after a couple of chapters because they just don't say anything I haven't heard a million times before. This one stood out — it's a short book on how to incorporate lovingkindness practice into daily life. It's not "ooey-gooey," as Dan Harris would fear.
He makes the case that Sharon Salzberg's "Lovingkindness" is the most influential Buddhist book written in English in the past 50 years. And he convinced me that Bhikku Bodhi is one of the greatest living practitioners of Buddhism — really one for the ages.
I found myself writing down numerous ideas from it that resonated with me. A few:
* There are no enlightened people, only enlightened actions. (citing D.T. Suzuki)
* Anger is often a sign of fear. When feelings of fight or flight kick in and you can't flee, this often manifests as anger.
* It's a good idea to occasionally reflect on how you might incorporate your spiritual values into your actions.
* A good analogy for lovingkindness is a mother's love.
* It may be almost impossible to love some people. In those instances, aim for not having ill will toward them.
He makes the case that Sharon Salzberg's "Lovingkindness" is the most influential Buddhist book written in English in the past 50 years. And he convinced me that Bhikku Bodhi is one of the greatest living practitioners of Buddhism — really one for the ages.
I found myself writing down numerous ideas from it that resonated with me. A few:
* There are no enlightened people, only enlightened actions. (citing D.T. Suzuki)
* Anger is often a sign of fear. When feelings of fight or flight kick in and you can't flee, this often manifests as anger.
* It's a good idea to occasionally reflect on how you might incorporate your spiritual values into your actions.
* A good analogy for lovingkindness is a mother's love.
* It may be almost impossible to love some people. In those instances, aim for not having ill will toward them.
February 11, 2023
Book of the Day – Living Kindness
Today’s Book of the Day is LIVING KINDNESS – Metta practice for the whole of our lives, written by Kevin Griffin in 2022, and published by Shambhala.
Kevin Griffin is a leader in the mindful movement and a Dharma Leader and Teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. He is the author of five previous books, including One Breath at a Time. He has studied with the leading Western vipassana teachers, including Jack Kornfield, Joseph Goldstein, and Ajahn Amaro. He regularly teaches and leads Buddhist retreats.
I have chosen this book because, being an ordained Buddhist monk living as a layperson, Metta is one practice I do most, even in the Sangha I manage and in my daily job, when I use it in MMQG.
Mettā is a Sanskrit word meaning benevolence, loving-kindness, friendliness, positive energy and intention, and active interest in others.It is the first of the four Brahmaviharas (sublime states) and one of the ten pāramīs of the Theravāda school of Buddhism.
Mettā bhāvanā or cultivation of benevolence is a very popular form of Buddhist meditation and, being a compassion meditation is often practiced in Asia by ordained monks for the laity.
In this book, Kevin Griffin shares his rich experience in Metta as a Dharma teacher, by giving the readers both stories from the Pali canon and his personal reflections on modern life
Metta, as one of the Brahmaviharas (the other three are karuṇā or compassion, muditā or sympathetic joy, and upekkhā or equanimity), is not just a meditation practice of loving-kindness but rather represents the way Buddhists understand their life journey, filled with knowledge, awareness, wisdom, ethics, and compassion for all beings.
In our culture, many people, unfortunately, find it difficult to feel, and practice, loving-kindness. And this is not just towards others, but even toward themselves. Practicing Metta can be a perfect solution to grow our love for ourselves and others from a tiny seed to a way of living.
Griffin's writing style is involving. He speaks to the readers not as a teacher but as a friend who is some steps forward in his spiritual journey. In this way, he can introduce complex themes and try to give them an answer. The questions he asks are like: what would it mean to be completely free of ill will? How do we love without attachment? Can feel loving-kindness for the entire Universe? How is Metta related to enlightenment?
The book is full of practical, guided practices that help the readers better understand the meaning of some classical Buddhist texts like the Metta Sutta. In this way, Griffin is able to make lessons first given more than 2500 years ago actual and tangible, as if they were shared and so fully relevant, in our time.
I think that everyone needs to read such a book, where one can find, even if not being Buddhist, a practical, useful, immediately appliable guide on how to make Metta a lifestyle and not just an abstract idea.
Today’s Book of the Day is LIVING KINDNESS – Metta practice for the whole of our lives, written by Kevin Griffin in 2022, and published by Shambhala.
Kevin Griffin is a leader in the mindful movement and a Dharma Leader and Teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. He is the author of five previous books, including One Breath at a Time. He has studied with the leading Western vipassana teachers, including Jack Kornfield, Joseph Goldstein, and Ajahn Amaro. He regularly teaches and leads Buddhist retreats.
I have chosen this book because, being an ordained Buddhist monk living as a layperson, Metta is one practice I do most, even in the Sangha I manage and in my daily job, when I use it in MMQG.
Mettā is a Sanskrit word meaning benevolence, loving-kindness, friendliness, positive energy and intention, and active interest in others.It is the first of the four Brahmaviharas (sublime states) and one of the ten pāramīs of the Theravāda school of Buddhism.
Mettā bhāvanā or cultivation of benevolence is a very popular form of Buddhist meditation and, being a compassion meditation is often practiced in Asia by ordained monks for the laity.
In this book, Kevin Griffin shares his rich experience in Metta as a Dharma teacher, by giving the readers both stories from the Pali canon and his personal reflections on modern life
Metta, as one of the Brahmaviharas (the other three are karuṇā or compassion, muditā or sympathetic joy, and upekkhā or equanimity), is not just a meditation practice of loving-kindness but rather represents the way Buddhists understand their life journey, filled with knowledge, awareness, wisdom, ethics, and compassion for all beings.
In our culture, many people, unfortunately, find it difficult to feel, and practice, loving-kindness. And this is not just towards others, but even toward themselves. Practicing Metta can be a perfect solution to grow our love for ourselves and others from a tiny seed to a way of living.
Griffin's writing style is involving. He speaks to the readers not as a teacher but as a friend who is some steps forward in his spiritual journey. In this way, he can introduce complex themes and try to give them an answer. The questions he asks are like: what would it mean to be completely free of ill will? How do we love without attachment? Can feel loving-kindness for the entire Universe? How is Metta related to enlightenment?
The book is full of practical, guided practices that help the readers better understand the meaning of some classical Buddhist texts like the Metta Sutta. In this way, Griffin is able to make lessons first given more than 2500 years ago actual and tangible, as if they were shared and so fully relevant, in our time.
I think that everyone needs to read such a book, where one can find, even if not being Buddhist, a practical, useful, immediately appliable guide on how to make Metta a lifestyle and not just an abstract idea.
April 29, 2023
"The brahmaviharas (divine abodes) of loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity are the cures for our troubled world. On the personal level they heal the heart and mind, bringing contentment and joy. On the societal level they bring people together with a focus on peace, non-harming, generosity, forgiveness, and mutual care. Our collective longing for a world in peace is answered by these ancient Buddhist teachings. This is a book about love. Not the squishy, romantic love of films and pop songs, but something more complicated and challenging, a love without limits or conditions, a love that includes our enemies and isn’t driven by our desires or preferences. This is what the Buddha called metta or loving-kindness."
A little too much "I" in here, too much about the author and his ego, but overall a very accessible and interesting take on one of the most beautiful ideas on how to live in this world, loving-kindness. It is not easy, and takes practice, and does not require we all become Buddhists; instead, there are meditations that help us align our inner thoughts and health with how we act in the world and treat others. It feels beautiful and natural and it is accessible no matter your religious and spiritual beliefs.
This is why I’ve come up with the term living kindness. This suggests a shift in our thinking from the idea of feeling good or being nice to people and instead addresses the whole of our lives. The Dharma is not something we just practice on a cushion or on a retreat. It’s meant to be lived. The question of what this would mean sent me deeper into the Buddhist teachings.
Our natural state, when rid of negative qualities is a positive one, that when hatred is removed, love is naturally revealed, that when greed subsides, generosity is spontaneous. This is an essential Buddhist concept, that our fundamental human nature is loving and wise. The work of Buddhist practice is to abandon the things that obscure these qualities in us.
The Buddha says, “Hatred never ends by hatred, but by non-hate alone does it end. This is an ancient truth.” Cultivating loving-kindness gives us another way of responding to the hatred we see: with love and compassion, with joy and equanimity. These four brahmaviharas are the antidotes: love inside and love outside; compassion inside and compassion outside; joy inside and joy outside; equanimity inside and equanimity outside.
A little too much "I" in here, too much about the author and his ego, but overall a very accessible and interesting take on one of the most beautiful ideas on how to live in this world, loving-kindness. It is not easy, and takes practice, and does not require we all become Buddhists; instead, there are meditations that help us align our inner thoughts and health with how we act in the world and treat others. It feels beautiful and natural and it is accessible no matter your religious and spiritual beliefs.
This is why I’ve come up with the term living kindness. This suggests a shift in our thinking from the idea of feeling good or being nice to people and instead addresses the whole of our lives. The Dharma is not something we just practice on a cushion or on a retreat. It’s meant to be lived. The question of what this would mean sent me deeper into the Buddhist teachings.
Our natural state, when rid of negative qualities is a positive one, that when hatred is removed, love is naturally revealed, that when greed subsides, generosity is spontaneous. This is an essential Buddhist concept, that our fundamental human nature is loving and wise. The work of Buddhist practice is to abandon the things that obscure these qualities in us.
The Buddha says, “Hatred never ends by hatred, but by non-hate alone does it end. This is an ancient truth.” Cultivating loving-kindness gives us another way of responding to the hatred we see: with love and compassion, with joy and equanimity. These four brahmaviharas are the antidotes: love inside and love outside; compassion inside and compassion outside; joy inside and joy outside; equanimity inside and equanimity outside.
August 4, 2024
One of the most beautiful books I've ever read. Multiple sections brought tears to my eyes. I borrowed it from the library but will be buying a copy, as there is so much to re-read and refernce. Most of the sections have a practice section at the end that could be really helpful for someone looking for a gatha or two to sit with.
Only criticism - may not be a favorite of people looking for a more traditional approach. The author definitely favors a contemporary western approach (viewing the six realms as firmly metaphorical) but he is upfront about this and I found it easy enough to ignore.
Only criticism - may not be a favorite of people looking for a more traditional approach. The author definitely favors a contemporary western approach (viewing the six realms as firmly metaphorical) but he is upfront about this and I found it easy enough to ignore.
September 29, 2025
Closer to 4.8 stars but I rounded up :)
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I’ve been on a bit of a self-help book binge, though I wouldn’t really consider this book to be apart of that category necessarily. Kevin manages to bring life to the Pali Canon by including his own takeaways from the scriptures and his own experiences with them. This book brought a whole new light to the way I think of enlightenment as a whole, and I’m so grateful for it.
~~~~~~~
I’ve been on a bit of a self-help book binge, though I wouldn’t really consider this book to be apart of that category necessarily. Kevin manages to bring life to the Pali Canon by including his own takeaways from the scriptures and his own experiences with them. This book brought a whole new light to the way I think of enlightenment as a whole, and I’m so grateful for it.
August 15, 2023
What I appreciated most about this book was the “realness” of the author - he’s unafraid to laugh at his imperfections, or engage critically with Buddhist discourses whose conventional interpretations don’t like up perfectly with his understanding of dharma. This is refreshing, especially in a book on metta. I learned a lot from reading this.
August 5, 2024
This book looks at practical ways one can apply the concept of Metta (loving kindness) in our day to day lives. In particular, it really challenged me to think about my food / diet choices in relation to the desire to reduce suffering for other sentient beings.
I like the fact that he questions things, including things said by the Buddah. He said the comments by the Buddah about women being excluded were 'disappointing'. He talks about the practicalities - if you find it difficult to project loving kindness toward you most hated enemies then perhaps you can start by seeking to eliminate or reduce ill will.
Loved the section on the practicalities of the Metta Bhavana meditation. In particular,
1. Identifying a meditation object that you can think of prior to or at the very start of the meditation so that it is easier to cultivate loving kindness toward yourself - I have been using my daughter and
2. With so much suffering on earth, the idea of spreading our loving-kindness out toward the edges of the universe feels like it is a bit more needed on Earth! As such, when we hit the section about going out to the universe in the guided meditation I have been using (which I absolutely love!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDi40...
I have instead been choosing a particular object to use instead in this final stage - e.g. a person who I am experiencing some tension with.
To me, meditation which starts and ends with what happens 'on the cushion' is a wasted opportunity. Books like this that really challenge us to bring loving kindness into our actions in the outside world and brilliant!
I was a big fan and thank you Kevin for writing this book!
I like the fact that he questions things, including things said by the Buddah. He said the comments by the Buddah about women being excluded were 'disappointing'. He talks about the practicalities - if you find it difficult to project loving kindness toward you most hated enemies then perhaps you can start by seeking to eliminate or reduce ill will.
Loved the section on the practicalities of the Metta Bhavana meditation. In particular,
1. Identifying a meditation object that you can think of prior to or at the very start of the meditation so that it is easier to cultivate loving kindness toward yourself - I have been using my daughter and
2. With so much suffering on earth, the idea of spreading our loving-kindness out toward the edges of the universe feels like it is a bit more needed on Earth! As such, when we hit the section about going out to the universe in the guided meditation I have been using (which I absolutely love!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDi40...
I have instead been choosing a particular object to use instead in this final stage - e.g. a person who I am experiencing some tension with.
To me, meditation which starts and ends with what happens 'on the cushion' is a wasted opportunity. Books like this that really challenge us to bring loving kindness into our actions in the outside world and brilliant!
I was a big fan and thank you Kevin for writing this book!
October 18, 2024
I thought this would be a book of meditation techniques, but instead it's more of a discussion of love (mostly of the brotherly variety) in the Buddhist tradition. Definitely makes the case that Christianity doesn't have a monopoly on religious love traditions.
May 1, 2023
Interesting viewpoints.
May 12, 2023
An interesting read, one that was nice and grounding in the world.
July 4, 2023
I thoroughly enjoyed this very gentle book about weaving lovingkindness into everyday life. With thanks and gratitude to the author!
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January 31, 2025294.35677 G875L
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews