5★
“The sun was climbing in the sky, turning hotter and hotter. That sun was no friend of mine, I knew. It kept Igifu awake, kept him groaning and ripping at my stomach with all his claws.”
Rwanda, displaced Tutsis, starvation. Heart-breaking story of children scraping a pot for crumbs of dried porridge, because it’s bad luck to leave the home in the morning before eating. Hunger is always with them.
Igifu, Hunger, given to us at birth like a cruel guardian angel . . .”
Memories are still strong of ritual and tradition and plentiful milk from their cows, but even the traditions and rituals are disappearing.
“If we met any girls bringing the water home from Lake Cyohoha, my father would grumble: ‘That’s what they’ve done to us. Have you seen those calabashes they’re carrying on their heads? Back home in Rwanda, those calabashes were our butter churns. No one would have dared fill them with water. Shame be upon us! And I know what your mother does, but it’s no good, not even Ruganzu Ndori’s water can replace the milk from our cows.’”
When a neighbour gets goats, he is considered to have sunk to the “depths of degradation”.
The father continues to check pasture growth, water, and where cattle might do well in the future. Men continue to gather to talk at night, always eventually reminiscing about the cows they had, how exceptional each one was, and the cows they hoped to have again.
The second story is ”The Glorious Cow”.
Cows are the source of life, everyone depending on their milk. They are handled and treated and loved like prized pets. The men talk to them, stroke them, make sure they keep them safe from each other’s long horns.
“Once they’d drunk their fill, the cows rested and ruminated in the shadow of a grove or on a hillside out of the sun. Is there a happier time for a cowherd than the moment when he can rest his staff on the back of his neck, fold his right leg against his left thigh, and tranquilly survey his herd?”
With the absence of the cows, life is empty. Memory is everything.
“Before long my father would go off again. He always had things to do, he said, at a neighbor’s house, in Nyamata, at the mission, but I knew that most often he went back out to wander, leading his vanished cows with his staff.”
I’ve chosen these chapters to quote from because they still recall what has been lost. So much of the following chapters is what they’ve been left with.
The third story is titled “Fear”
“In Nyamata,” my mother used to say, “you must never forget: we’re Inyenzi, we’re cockroaches, snakes, vermin. Whenever you meet a soldier or a militiaman or a stranger, remember: he’s planning to kill you, and he knows he will, one day or another, him or someone else. And if not today, then soon, in fact he’s wondering why you’re still alive at all. But he’s not in a hurry. He knows you won’t get away.”
The fourth is “The Curse of Beauty”. It’s the tale of an exceptionally beautiful woman, desired by important men, and how her life goes in the city.
The last is “Grief”, which is certainly my reaction to these stories. It’s about a young woman who wants to know what happened to her family, and the stories on television just seem to accept that Africa always has massacres. It’s almost like ‘Nothing to see here – move along’, but of course she knows better.
She goes back to try to find some evidence of their fate, and she does find that some shocking discoveries have been made. An old man tells her not to look for them, graves or bones or anything.
“They’re inside you. They only survive in you, and you only survive through them.
. . .
With that strength you can do things you might not even imagine today.”
I hope that old man is right.
It is an amazing collection, spare and cutting. I appreciate the skill and courage it must take to put these thoughts into words. This was first published in 2010 and translated from the French this year (2020)
I thank NetGalley and Archipelago for the preview copy from which I’ve quoted so liberally.