Seven Words to Change Your Family While There's Still Time

by James MacDonald

Is your family all that you want it to be? With the power of God your family can be totally transformed! For anyone who's serious about improving the quality of their family life, Seven Words to Change Your Family gives hard-hitting practical guidance on how to make it happen. In his captivating and contemporary style, Pastor James MacDonald will challenge readers to avoid devastating complacency and become proactive in loving their families. Whether it's learning to speak words of blessing, extend forgiveness, or be faithfully committed, families will be transformed by the step-by-step realistic plan laid out in this excellent resource.

176 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2002

About the author

James MacDonald (D. Min. Phoenix Seminary) is married to his high school sweetheart, Kathy, and both are from Ontario, Canada. He is the father of three grown children, a daughter-in-law, a son-in-law, and grandfather to four amazing grandsons. James’ ministry focuses on the unapologetic proclamation of God’s Word. In 1988, along with a small group of ministry partners, James and Kathy planted Harvest Bible Chapel which has grown to 13,000 people each weekend, meeting in six locations.

In 1997, a Bible-teaching broadcast ministry called Walk in the Word was established, now reaching more than three million people weekly. In 2002, a church planting ministry called Harvest Bible Fellowship was born and has established more than 70 churches across North America and around the world. James’ vision is that God will use him to help plant 1,000 churches in his lifetime.

James’ extensive ministry also includes a training center for pastors, a year-round camp, a biblical counseling center, a disaster recovery organization, and a Christian school—all used to reach more people with the life-changing message of the Gospel.

Now impacting millions of lives annually, God’s favor upon these ministries has been described by James as “abundantly baffling.” The MacDonalds’ view their ministry as proof that God still uses broken vessels to pour out His grace.

Reviews

[Margo Berendsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

The seven words are forgiveness, blessing, honor (healing words); truth, church, commitment (building words) and love (transforming word).

James has the gift for getting right to the heart of the matter; and his Bible study is both incisive and yet accessible. Some of his words, like forgiveness and love are obvious; but he pointed out some things about the process of forgiveness that I hadn't realized - it really is an ongoing process, not just a one time event.

Some of his other words I hadn't really thought about before, like what it means to as an adult to honor our parents, or what it means to bless our children.

Some parts I highlighted:

Every time God says "Don't" - as in "Don't harbor unforgiveness" what He's saying is "Don't hurt yourself." In other words, when you choose to sin, you choose to suffer.

...My capacity to forgive is directly related to my comprehension of how much God loves me. When my concept of God is very small, my capacity to love others is very small as well.... so often I see that the Lord's people need to have a breakthrough in their understanding. God doesn't love like our parents. God doesn't love according to our human experiences. God loves fully and unconditionally. That's what we're after.

...Periodically, I will invite the perfect people in our church to stand, and thus far we have found none. We are all fallen people, not just in principle but in practice (James 3:2 "We all stumble in many ways")

In blessing our children, the author uses the example of Isaac and Jacob blessing their sons, and from other biblical examples he shows how to speak words of affection, words of reconciliation, words of vision "you're going to make a difference in this world", and words of security.

We need to be pouring a spiritual vision into our children. We don't want them to just get by; we want them to be the super conquerors that Christ Jesus has created them to be. A spiritual vision. "You are going to walk with God. You're going to be a godly man or woman. God is going to use your life."

And:

Pray that your kids will master the opposition, master their roles in life, and master their finances - and not the reverse

...When the blessing is given, a child emerges into adulthood able to answer to the three most important questions in life: 1. Who am I? (a question of identity) 2. Why am I here? (a question of security) 3. Where am I going? (a question of confidence)

Matt 3:16-17 tells us that the heavens were opened and the Spirit of God descended in the form of a dove. And a voice came from heaven, saying, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased." Isn't that great? God the Father Himself modeled the importance of affirmation.

The section on honoring our parents was unexpectedly heartbreaking. The author shared several letters that brought tears to my eyes, first of callous and neglectful treatment of aging parents by their adult children, and one by a man who took the time to thank his parents and spend extra time with them, and was so thankful he did because his mother died unexpectedly shortly afterward. The book also includes a tribute that James wrote himself to his parents.

Another part that really struck me; this is from the chapter on truth.

We only get so many words in our families. The older our kids get, the fewer words we have with them. What are you going to spend your words on? "clean up your room!" "I asked you five times to take out the garbage!" Is that how you are going to spend your words? Like that's going to have a big impact! I fear we're wasting our words on issues of little value, and then we're too exhausted to pour into our families the kind of truth that can be fountain of life to them. Instead, let's choose words of truth that build and guide and that establish a foundation of wisdom.

Something that really struck me personally, with something we're facing right now:

Then there's the opposition of emotional distance. Perhaps you have teenagers who call you uncool and unloving, and they won't see for many years the values of the truths on which you are building your family and refusing to compromise. I plead with you not to back down, no matter ho many hurtful words they say or rolled eyes you must endure. In the major things, do what's right even if it sets off a war in your home. Draw the line. When your kids become adults and are raising their own kids, they will know that you did what was best for them.

This one also struck deep:

You are not standing for the truth unless you are doing so at the specific point where the truth is being resisted.... you can be standing for the truth in fifteen different places, but if you are conceding at the very point of oppositon, you are not building your home on truth.

...God's Word has never been tried and found lacking. Never! However, it has often been found difficult and therefore not tried.

... It is absolutely vital for us to understand that truth is most powerfully taught in the context of relationship.

One last excellent thing, this from the chapter on commitment:

Commitment is the defining characteristic of a person's life...there are people who keep their commitments and there are people who don't. It's the watershed issue. Which person are you?

[Mandie Holden · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is recommended to every Christian household to read. It is filled with scripture and the truth on how families should be especially Christian ones. It is a book that needs to be referenced for the rest of my life!

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a practical book for EVERY individual or couple because it applies to relationships with parents, siblings, as well as children and extended family. I would highly recommend this book; God will use it to change your attitudes and relationships.

[Peggy Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an encouraging and convicting read.