The Wounded Healer

by Henri J.M. Nouwen

The Wounded Healer is a hope-filled and profoundly simple book that speaks directly to those men and women who want to be of service in their church or community, but have found the traditional ways often threatening and ineffective. In this book, Henri Nouwen combines creative case studies of ministry with stories from diverse cultures and religious traditions in preparing a new model for ministry. Weaving keen cultural analysis with his psychological and religious insights, Nouwen has come up with a balanced and creative theology of service that begins with the realization of fundamental woundedness in human nature. Emphasizing that which is in humanity common to both minister and believer, this woundedness can serve as a source of strength and healing when counseling others. Nouwen proceeds to develop his approach to ministry with an analysis of sufferings -- a suffering world, a suffering generation, a suffering person, and a suffering minister. It is his contention that ministers are called to recognize the sufferings of their time in their own hearts and make that recognition the starting point of their service. For Nouwen, ministers must be willing to go beyond their professional role and leave themselves open as fellow human beings with the same wounds and suffering -- in the image of Christ. In other words, we heal from our own wounds. Filled with examples from everyday experience, The Wounded Healer is a thoughtful and insightful guide that will be welcomed by anyone engaged in the service of others.

Genres: Spirituality, Theology, Christian, Christianity, Religion, Nonfiction, Faith

100 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1971

About the author

Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen was a Dutch Catholic priest, theologian, psychologist, professor, and spiritual writer whose work profoundly shaped contemporary Christian spirituality. Born in Nijkerk, the Netherlands, in 1932, Nouwen pursued religious studies and was ordained a priest in 1957. His intellectual curiosity led him to study psychology at the Catholic University of Nijmegen and later at the Menninger Clinic in Kansas, where he explored the connection between faith and mental health. Throughout his life, Nouwen remained committed to integrating pastoral care, psychology, and spiritual theology in a way that addressed the emotional and existential needs of believers.
Nouwen held teaching positions at prestigious institutions including the University of Notre Dame, Yale Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School. He authored over three dozen books and hundreds of articles, with notable works such as The Wounded Healer, The Return of the Prodigal Son, Life of the Beloved, and The Inner Voice of Love. His writing, often rooted in personal vulnerability and spiritual struggle, resonated with readers across denominations. Nouwen openly explored themes of loneliness, identity, intimacy, and the human desire for love and belonging, making his voice especially relatable and influential.
Though he was a gifted academic and popular speaker, Nouwen found his deepest calling later in life through his involvement with L’Arche, a network of communities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. After a transformative stay at the original L’Arche community in France, Nouwen accepted an invitation to become the pastor of L’Arche Daybreak in Richmond Hill, Ontario. There he developed a close bond with Adam Arnett, a core member with severe disabilities, which inspired the book Adam: God’s Beloved. At Daybreak, Nouwen discovered a deep spiritual home and a community that helped him embrace his humanity in profound ways.
Throughout his life, Nouwen wrestled with issues of identity, including his sexuality and his longing for connection, though he remained faithful to his vows. His openness about depression and inner conflict gave depth to his pastoral message, and his ability to turn personal struggle into shared spiritual insight made him one of the most beloved spiritual writers of the 20th century.
Henri Nouwen died in 1996 of a sudden heart attack, but his legacy endures through his writings, the Henri Nouwen Society, and the continued global reach of his message of belovedness, vulnerability, and compassionate community. His books remain bestsellers, widely read in seminaries, churches, and among individuals seeking a more intimate walk with God.

Reviews

[Susie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I set out to read Henri Nouwen's 100 page book thinking I would finish it in a few days. Instead, as always with Nouwen, it took me several weeks to read. Every time I picked it up I found myself flipping back through my previous reading, and every time I set it down I found myself spending days processing the few pages I just completed.

Nouwen is, at heart, a philosopher and a psychologist and his writing is organized according to a logical formula. Some may struggle against that structure or with that jargon, but if you can move past it you will find beautiful truth within and an amazing understanding of our very current culture (despite the fact that the book was written almost 30 years ago).

Nouwen seemed to anticipate the hopelessness that prevails in our present society, the growing sense among our youth that they cannot create a better future for their world, and to that hopeless he encourages us to move out of the old formula for ministry that has us "thinking in terms of large-scale organization, getting people together in churches, schools and hospitals, and running the show as a circus director" and and realize that "pastoral conversation is not merely a skillful use of conversation techniques to manipulate people into the Kingdom of God, but a deep human encounter in which a man is willing to put his own faith and doubt, his own hope and despair, his own light and darkness at the disposal of others who want to find a way through their confusion and touch the solid core of life." The overarching theme of the book resides in the following passage:"Jesus has given this story a new fullness by making his own broken body the way to health, to liberation and new life. Thus like Jesus, he who proclaims liberation is called not only to care for his own wounds and the wounds of others, but also to make his wounds into a major source of his healing power."

As Nouwen writes, it is precisely in this hopeless culture that the "wounded healer" can make his life and his own suffering available to others, and "making one's own wounds a source of healing, therefore, does not call for a sharing or superficial personal pains, but for a constant willingness to see one's one pain and suffering as rising from the depth of the human condition which all men share." Perhaps then we too, as Nouwen concludes, can understand that "...the imitation of Christ does not mean to live a life like Christ but to live your life as authentically as Christ lived his...."

[booklady · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nouwen’s opening chapter, a description of ‘Nuclear Man’, a prototype ‘modern man’, almost made me give up the book entirely. Nuclear Man—to me—sounded like a 1960/70/80’s person (the book was published in 1979) disillusioned with the Cold War and the Super Powers, living from day-to-day in constant fear of complete annihilation. I recognize Nouwen’s Nuclear Man who, ‘has lost naïve faith in the possibilities of technologies and is painfully aware that the same powers that enable man to create new life styles carry the potential for self-destruction.’

He is just not who most Healers will be ministering to today. Rather, now we have an entirely different situation, a generation with strong faith in science and technology. For many, they have even become god(s).

After this first chapter, however, I fell in step with the rest of Nouwen’s ideas/concepts concerning ‘the Wounded Healer’.

Nouwen’s explanation of ‘articulation’ and its importance to being an effective healer was phenomenal. A minister who is able to do that is worth his/her weight in gold! I marked the heck out of those pages, with, “yes, Yes! YES!” thinking all the while of those in my life who were able to unlock doors for me because they could recognize the work of God in the event of my life, those I loved, or elsewhere. This is an invaluable skill.

The critique of the elderly man in the hospital who was dying and the young minister who was trying to minister to him was also invaluable.

The best part of the whole book was the legend from the Talmud concerning the Messiah which I wish I could recount. It is in two parts and each part reveals the great healing which can come from woundedness. Our wounds do not preclude us from helping others; they qualify us if we know how to let them.

Much wisdom!



July 12, 2018: Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my 1st Spiritual Director's death. When I visited her friend and companion, Pat, who cared for RM in the last years of her life (she had advanced MS) Pat asked me go through RM's books and take as many as I wanted. This book was one of the few which I did not already have and knew I would read immediately. Took it to Adoration last week and have greatly enjoyed it so far. Felt like I was sharing it with RM.

[Tom Emanuel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came to Henri Nouwen on the recommendation of Fred Rogers, and I was not disappointed. This slim volume is somewhat dated (I was pleasantly surprised to see two King Crimson songs quoted in the second essay, for instance), but its central message is timeless: that the very experiences that wound us most deeply are also those from which we can draw the greatest strength. Nouwen does not romanticize suffering; it is not suffering itself that is beautiful, but rather what human beings can do with it. Nouwen uses the metaphor of the Grand Canyon: a scar on the landscape in one sense, and yet in another sense a place of almost unbearable beauty. I use the metaphor of a bog: nobody likes to get stuck in a bog. It's fetid and rank and sometimes it feels as though you'll never escape. But a bog is also the place where coal forms; and coal burns. Indeed--and this is Nouwen's central thesis--it is through facing our own hurts and fears that we can begin to help others face theirs - not to make the hurts and fears disappear, but to be fully present with them in the midst of their darkness and, with the coal of our own experience, to be for them a fire in the night.

[Melody Schwarting · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Wounded Healer, first published in 1979, offers a contemplative path for ministry. While it's obvious that Nouwen has celibate Catholic priests in mind as his audience, I found much that applied to my life as a married Protestant laywoman. Part of this was helped by the Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust's choice to update the language a bit without changing the examples or gist of the text.

Nouwen's ideas of the wounded healer, hospitality, and the contemplative critic were particularly meaningful to me. Nouwen truly grasps "servant leadership," and the abject humility required for all Christians, particularly leaders. Having been through a few churches that were nearly cults of personality, I found his vision of Christian leadership deeply refreshing. Gone is the vision of fame and platform, returned is the vision of "doing little things with great love."

A major disconnect early in the text for me was his discussion of the "rootless generations." Much of it simply doesn't apply to the currently young generations. He quotes a 1969 study by Jeffrey K. Hadden that speaks of this generation as "almost void of notions for exercise of responsibility toward others." (33) That simply doesn't ring true today. If anything, the youth of today are overburdened by such responsibility. Social media has widened and increased peer pressure, creating a legalistic system of conformity to social and political opinion. This portion may become relevant again at some point, but for now, it made the book feel dated.

Overall, I enjoyed reading The Wounded Healer and I'll return for Nouwen's insights again. This is the first book I've read by him and I look forward to more.

[Michele · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this years and years ago. It changed my life.

[Chad D · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stars are problematic, here. The "Ministry in Contemporary Society" bit is rather outdated. Contemporary society is different from what it was fifty years ago. But when Nouwen exposits the rest of the title--the image of the minister as wounded healer--the book becomes beautifully almost timeless. I believe that what he says is true. It is what I have come to believe, though not articulate, before I read him say it.

[Kyle H · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first Nouwen book and I’m moved. He has a beautiful writing style that comes off as wise and tender. The main idea is that our suffering does not disqualify us to lead others but enables us. Understanding the human experience of suffering can give us a glimpse into the life to come and we have the opportunity to invite others into this vision. I also like his take on hospitality and community. I recommend 🥲

[Mrs C · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first read this book 20 years ago and loved it taking pertinent principles for ministry relating to shared vulnerability, walking together in brokenness with one another and Jesus, being a healing community etc.
In returning to the book, I am struck by the dated language. It was really hard to get over the fact of the book being written to a male audience. I appreciated that Nouwen was aware of this dominance in his acknowledgements yet it grated me regularly as I read about creating an open and safe space for healing and fresh creativity whilst not being acknowledged as a having validity in my role as a female pastor.
Even the title of 'nuclear man' given to Peter, speaks a bygone era even if some of the cultural analysis continues to have resonance with the journey to today's world. A rewriting today would embrace a different reading of cultural indicators.
There are some very helpful conclusions presented in an accessible way. I would recommend it to all pastoral disciples but do wonder how younger generations would respond to the dated language.

[Douglas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am grateful for this man’s vision. I felt seen, challenged and encouraged. He demonstrates in his own words “Indeed, the paradox of Christian leadership is that the way out is also the way in, that only by entering into communion with human suffering can relief be found.” God give us strength for the task.

[Austin Spence · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is up there with "Reaching Out" as one of Nouwen's books that remind the reader that he truly can do it all when it comes to Christian spirituality and faith. The book diagnosed current issues that humans face in their worldviews and identifies explicit remedies that a "minister" can partake in to heal these issues. This was a book on anthropology and Christianity's humble approach to meeting the hurts of the world. The dynamics of a "minister" and their own suffering plays a huge role in serving others. (Minister is in quotes because this is not explicit to the profession of a minister but a call to all Christians)

For a long time I was pretty bored with Nouwen after reading his well-known, spiritual books. Books like this remind me that he has put in the work of studying the world and how to offer sentiments to help the situation. I think I will read those books with more weight to them now.

[Ty Olsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Christian leaders are, therefore, first of all, those who are willing to put their own articulated faith at the disposal of those who ask for help. In this sense, they are servants of servants, because they are the first to enter the promised but dangerous land, the first to tell those who are afraid what they themselves have seen, heard, and touched.”

This was my first Henri Nouwen book, but not my last. He beautifully explains the ministry of healing as a ministry of “hospitality,” creating a shared space for hurting people to find friendship & understanding in their pain. Very helpful for me in my current faith walk & a must-read!

[Josh Issa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was making small talk at the house of an older couple when I noticed this book sitting on the shelf. Politely I asked who was reading Nouwen, and if they enjoyed his work. The book was then offered to me to borrow, which I was hesitant at first, but it was insisted on so I took it. After an uncomfortable and homophobic conversation about Nouwen being gay but “resisting the urges”, I figured why not read.

This is an interesting book for ministers because it is frankly non-evangelistic, non-apologetic, and says to put the Bible down to see who is in front of you. The minister is called to recognize the suffering of the current moment and share in those sufferings alongside those needing help.

For me, the biggest thing is that it is very much operating within a realized eschatology, which is fine but I would prefer Paul Tillich’s sermon collections for that. I also noticed that I kept comparing it to Gustavo Gutierrez’s A Theology of Liberation, particularly the part where Gutierrez says that he is assuming universal salvation as the basis from which he develops his theology of social ministry and activism. Without any universalist basis, this book felt weak.

Ultimately, it’s basically a better Tim Keller book and I think it’s cool that he quotes two King Crimson songs.

[Robboby · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sometimes I really understood what the author going for, sometimes the book challenged my personal outlooks and beliefs and sometimes it was a really challenging read.

I feel like this book really makes you think, even though its examples and disjointed nature make it a bit difficult to access.

I enjoyed my time with it, sometimes.
However, it might not be for everyone.

[Zach Kunkel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nouwen is such a thoughtful thinker and writer. Always appreciate his teachings and the way he communicates them. Good read for anyone who is ministering to people.

“His [Jesus’s] appearance in our midst made it undeniably clear that changing the human heart and changing human society are not separate tasks, but are as interconnected as the two beams of the cross.”

[Joy Blea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nouwen’s books are quick yet full of insight. Really good read.

[Michael Vidrine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nouwen opens this book by giving light to a particular worldview that he sees as slowly becoming the norm in his modern society. This paradigm, that he calls the “nuclear man” is characterized by boredom with the world, apathy, confusion, a lack of hope that is paralyzing, and some other aspects that have, I believe, lost their relevance since 1970. Yet, they still give a fascinating insight into a situation that is part of the proximate history of the society we are faced with today. Something that I found particularly valuable about this introduction, however, is the way that it demonstrates well the extent to which an appropriate view of the world and man’s place in it can no longer be taken for granted, and needs to be reintroduced into society.
Probably the most significant shortcoming, however, is that Nouwen spends almost the entire book talking about what makes a good “Christian leader,” without talking about Jesus Christ. There is really only one very vague and confusing paragraph, about 3/4 of the way through the book, in which he basically just says “and of course all of this is related to Christ, because Christ also has basic concern for people.” In fact, there are no references to the New Testament in the whole book. The only references to scripture are a couple of psalm quotes right at the end. There is literally nothing about his concept of a “Christian leader” that makes it Christian, and the whole thing has just left confused about how and why he is using that term. There was, moreover, a bit of theology that I found questionable, and would love for the chance to ask him more about.

[Michael Wenig · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m glad for short, although still dense, books because I read this one twice, and it didn’t feel daunting to do so. It was honestly hard to really understand what I was reading in my first read through, but I was able to go more slowly and soak in the content on the second. I’m very tempted to bump this book into my loosely help top five most important books I’ve ever read. I honestly can’t tell right now if that’s due to a season of life or if I’ll still hold this book in the same light after some time passes.

The writing about compassion and hospitality strikes a deep chord in me, and I hope they are something that grows much deeper and more prevalent in my life.

“One compassionate face or one affectionate handshake can substitute for years of friendship when a person is in agony. Not only does love last forever, it needs only a second to be born.”

[Tamara M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it in my master's program and re-read it now as I was preparing to teach the same course on the integration of Christian faith and psychology.

I am always amazed at how contemporary his 'diagnosis' of the world and the human struggle is, even though it was written 50+ years ago. This book offers so many ideas to contemplate on, with his focus being on - How embracing our loneliness and woundedness is a pathway toward healing ourselves and others we are entrusted to walk alongside in their suffering. Compassion, vulnerabilty in our woundedness & hospitality toward the pain are necessary as we become fellow travelers to the wounded.

[Donald · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short book focuses on the paradox of ministry in a society of alienated individuals and the need to embrace our own frailty to make ourselves useful to others. I found it very useful in unwinding some myths I had accepted about ministry.

[Kevin Orth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never get tired of Father Henri's work. He is very much himself a wounded healer. His capacity to reach into his own soul and life experience to provide his audience with tremendous depth and richness is unparalleled. Highly recommend.

[Fern Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first I thought this book seemed a bit dated but it was worth sticking with as the last few chapters were very thought provoking. Nouwen’s writing never fails to challenge the reader and make you look at things differently.

[Nick · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are a lot of rich insights in this little book. At some point I want to really reflect on some of the meatier statements.

[Grace Anne Cochrane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read few books that have truly shaped and transformed my way of thinking and subsequently my way of living. This book stands among them.

[Andy Littleton · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very helpful read, and a needed angle on the role of the minister. The “contemporary society” of the book is of course, no longer contemporary. The insights are now about America’s grandparents, but the reader can set a trajectory and draw from Nouwen’s insights to form new insights about our current day. I suppose that in many ways this type of “wounded healer” is still a needed model. I know few leaders who truly do it, especially fused with gospel hope. I would suggest that Christians who want to minister read this book and seek to update it in their own contexts.

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is 50 years old, but Nouwen saw people are they are and Jesus as He is. Nouwen humanizes ministry in a deeply gracious way in this book.

“A Christian community is therefore a healing community not because wounds are cured and pains are alleviated, but because wounds and pains become openings or occasions for a new vision. Mutual confession then becomes a mutual deepening of hope, and sharing weakness becomes a reminder to one and all of the coming strength” (94).

[Evie Boyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

INSANELY applicable for today. Finished a couple weeks ago and still think about it all the time. Will write more on this later—our suffering is our service, mystics and revolutionaries, life is worth the living Just Because He Lives—think often of your death—be a compassionate community of contemplatives. I don’t know, so much more. Wonderful!!!! 5 stars—for apathetic, depressed, wandering souls of the 21st century and church ministers, saints, and believers alike.

[Lucas Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Ministry is a sign of hope because it makes visible the first rays of light of the coming Messiah”

This is one of those books that makes me excited for the work of ministry. To meet people in their pain and simply express our shared human experience. To look at them and say, “I am here with you, and here is the hope we have.”

[Anna Grace]

The first chapter of this book screams "I WAS WRITTEN DURING THE COLD WAR." But this dissipates, and I found Nouwen's perception of generational needs to have accuracy both generally and personally. I will chew on the examples he gives, but I sadly found this book to be rather bland... could very well be the fault of the reader not the writer though.

[Michael Kennedy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this one. Chapter 1 was a little tough to get into, but as the book progressed it got easier to read and understand. Chapter 4 was 🔥. Loved his section on “personal loneliness” as a wounded minister.

[Amber Kidwell Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

ugh SO GOOD.